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More funny than embarrassing
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I posted this the other day in the lounge but I hardly ever see any of you in there so I'm posting here too.
We were in England over the weekend.
Got to the hotel and started taking things out of the bags, putting passports and whatnot in the safe.
P produces a dildo that I didn't know he had brought and threw it into the safe.
Fast forward to Sunday morning, getting ready to leave and the safe won't open
Reception sent a man up to sort it,he unlocks it,swings it open and Just stands there frozen staring straight at the dildo!
I had short moment of embarrassment followed by me sitting on the edge of the bed trying not to start laughing at the panic on the man's face
You lot surely have similar stories, I'd love to hear them
Em x |
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Ahaha. Brilliant.
Once had a meet years ago and got stopped by customs etc to dip/check for green diesel. The lady officer asked me when I was coming from I said met a lady for a game of cards. Then she looked through window at back seat where a pair of tan stockings were gifted to me lol , lube and kitchen roll was in the back- she smiled- I commented “it’s nothing you weren’t at, at my age either “ she took a fit of laughing and waved me on.
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"Ahaha. Brilliant.
Once had a meet years ago and got stopped by customs etc to dip/check for green diesel. The lady officer asked me when I was coming from I said met a lady for a game of cards. Then she looked through window at back seat where a pair of tan stockings were gifted to me lol , lube and kitchen roll was in the back- she smiled- I commented “it’s nothing you weren’t at, at my age either “ she took a fit of laughing and waved me on.
"
 , you could've had worse in the back to be fair  |
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By *ollypop9Woman 34 weeks ago
wouldn't you like to know |
Staying in a triple room in a hotel for an event last year. Mostly I'd stay for one night, so we never thought of the cleaner coming in the next day.
After the three of us had some fun, I brought a vibrator and one of those big suction dildos into the bathroom to clean them and left them beside the sink afterwards. My room mate actually stuck the dildo to a card from the hotel saying " a genuine display of Irish hospitality ", a photo which went into the group chat of course.
I ended up being a dirty stop out and returning the next morning whilst my two roomates were gone for breakfast. Of course there was a young cleaning lady in the bathroom. Well the laughs and giggles out of her. I just shouted " I suppose you've seen worse " , got changed quickly and made my exit again. |
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"Staying in a triple room in a hotel for an event last year. Mostly I'd stay for one night, so we never thought of the cleaner coming in the next day.
After the three of us had some fun, I brought a vibrator and one of those big suction dildos into the bathroom to clean them and left them beside the sink afterwards. My room mate actually stuck the dildo to a card from the hotel saying " a genuine display of Irish hospitality ", a photo which went into the group chat of course.
I ended up being a dirty stop out and returning the next morning whilst my two roomates were gone for breakfast. Of course there was a young cleaning lady in the bathroom. Well the laughs and giggles out of her. I just shouted " I suppose you've seen worse " , got changed quickly and made my exit again."
It gives them a funny story to tell if nothing else |
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We weren't married at the time,but had been together for a good few years.. Anyway I was moving a couch with my now father-in-law, and as we tilted the couch to get it through the door-way, a Big Red Dildo fell out from behind the cushions..
I was alone with him..... Both of us at either end of the couch....wedged in the doorway ... Complete silence..with the dildo rolling across the floor...
You ever had that moment when your brain is screaming kill me now please, then you know how I felt.
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By (user no longer on site) 34 weeks ago
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"We weren't married at the time,but had been together for a good few years.. Anyway I was moving a couch with my now father-in-law, and as we tilted the couch to get it through the door-way, a Big Red Dildo fell out from behind the cushions..
I was alone with him..... Both of us at either end of the couch....wedged in the doorway ... Complete silence..with the dildo rolling across the floor...
You ever had that moment when your brain is screaming kill me now please, then you know how I felt.
"
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Flying to Liverpool last month. Bag packed full of toys for a content shoot and of course I was pulled for a bag check. Lad searching had a huge grin checking through. Checking bags next week now to avoid that again |
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"We weren't married at the time,but had been together for a good few years.. Anyway I was moving a couch with my now father-in-law, and as we tilted the couch to get it through the door-way, a Big Red Dildo fell out from behind the cushions..
I was alone with him..... Both of us at either end of the couch....wedged in the doorway ... Complete silence..with the dildo rolling across the floor...
You ever had that moment when your brain is screaming kill me now please, then you know how I felt.
"
Wait, was it his wife's dildo or your wife's? |
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"Flying to Liverpool last month. Bag packed full of toys for a content shoot and of course I was pulled for a bag check. Lad searching had a huge grin checking through. Checking bags next week now to avoid that again "
Id be more embarrassed about the other people looking than the security fella  |
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"We weren't married at the time,but had been together for a good few years.. Anyway I was moving a couch with my now father-in-law, and as we tilted the couch to get it through the door-way, a Big Red Dildo fell out from behind the cushions..
I was alone with him..... Both of us at either end of the couch....wedged in the doorway ... Complete silence..with the dildo rolling across the floor...
You ever had that moment when your brain is screaming kill me now please, then you know how I felt.
Wait, was it his wife's dildo or your wife's?"
Or to put it another way .. His daughter's dildo omg.... Still makes me cringe.. when I told my Mrs about it, she just started shaking her head saying no no no no I don't want to hear it... Mega awkward |
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"We weren't married at the time,but had been together for a good few years.. Anyway I was moving a couch with my now father-in-law, and as we tilted the couch to get it through the door-way, a Big Red Dildo fell out from behind the cushions..
I was alone with him..... Both of us at either end of the couch....wedged in the doorway ... Complete silence..with the dildo rolling across the floor...
You ever had that moment when your brain is screaming kill me now please, then you know how I felt.
Wait, was it his wife's dildo or your wife's?
Or to put it another way .. His daughter's dildo omg.... Still makes me cringe.. when I told my Mrs about it, she just started shaking her head saying no no no no I don't want to hear it... Mega awkward "
Oh dear God  |
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I must say I love this thread. Gotten plenty of laughs. I’ve loads of hospital stories- ask me in person.
One more for the road- had a meet with a regular lady and she made the extra effort to be super well refined heels, thigh highs, crotchless panties, hair straight, nails done, war paint (makeup), perfume etc…. Yum. Teasing me with pics etc enroute. We Met up,” where we going” she said, your not going your coming and so am ! and off down the road like a rocket to the first quiet corner we found. Grinding n pumping away ferociously, then car pulls up beside us, they drive off we go at it again. Then Another car pulls, holy fk the whole parish stopped by this stage I was flustered as hell, speech stammering , shaking body, erect and shinning, puddles in seat. She took a fit of laughing. Finally we get another break and both swiftly squirt and ease the torment.
Going into Italian restaurant straight after, then I cop a big white stain on the back of her jacket( like a seagulls bird shit lol) I burst out laughing, she asks if anything there’s I say no lol whole evening goes by I hold back laughter..
Next day she txt “your some ba…d” as she sent me pic of stain and the dry cleaning receipt.
We both laughed.   |
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Was on a lads holiday about 10 years ago and we stuck a pocket pussy in one of the lads suitcases and forgot all about it until a text in the whatsapp group saying yous are some bastards, my mam emptied my case.
Gives a good laugh whenever I think about it, she never said anything to him but just left it on his bed |
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By (user no longer on site) 34 weeks ago
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"I posted this the other day in the lounge but I hardly ever see any of you in there so I'm posting here too.
We were in England over the weekend.
Got to the hotel and started taking things out of the bags, putting passports and whatnot in the safe.
P produces a dildo that I didn't know he had brought and threw it into the safe.
Fast forward to Sunday morning, getting ready to leave and the safe won't open
Reception sent a man up to sort it,he unlocks it,swings it open and Just stands there frozen staring straight at the dildo!
I had short moment of embarrassment followed by me sitting on the edge of the bed trying not to start laughing at the panic on the man's face
You lot surely have similar stories, I'd love to hear them
Em x"
Well I suppose you are supposed to ram a dildo into a tight box |
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Years ago I got burgled.
Without checking all the rooms mine included my dad has rang the guards
They ransacked the house
When the guards came I has just gone upstairs and everything had been turned out of drawers wardrobes
My wand my other toys was thrown on the bed like you wouldn't miss seeing it one was purple and one was bright pink.... I tuned to the guards and said I have to clean up and he wanted everything to stay as it was . As finger prints could be got from any items.... my items was placed so you could see them heartbroken and mortified all ar once
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