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By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
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So had a date arranged for tonight, conversation had being going well.. and then suddenly ghosted out of nowhere.
Why do people do that?? 
Such a waste of time getting ready and looking good  |
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By *aseylee324Couple 48 weeks ago
Valley of Squinting Windows |
"It’s just bad manners and disrespectful. Even the fact Ghosted has entered our vocabulary shows how common place it is. "
This I'm afraid, people are being actively encouraged to be self-absorbed and selfish in this brave new world |
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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"
This I'm afraid, people are being actively encouraged to be self-absorbed and selfish in this brave new world"
The expression behaviour breeds behaviour comes to mind. It is as easy to be kind as not |
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By *aseylee324Couple 48 weeks ago
Valley of Squinting Windows |
"
This I'm afraid, people are being actively encouraged to be self-absorbed and selfish in this brave new world
The expression behaviour breeds behaviour comes to mind. It is as easy to be kind as not "
Not if you've been told you are the centre of the universe |
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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"
This I'm afraid, people are being actively encouraged to be self-absorbed and selfish in this brave new world
The expression behaviour breeds behaviour comes to mind. It is as easy to be kind as not
Not if you've been told you are the centre of the universe "
Sad but unfortunately true |
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Another story of being ghosted here too. Several months ago and well over it!
He messaged at 6pm to say he was jumping into the shower and that he'd be there for 7.30 ~ last I heard from this self confessed sound lad!!
Then of course I was blocked.
Some people are so so pathetic.
Karma sorts them though as far as I'm concerned. |
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"So had a date arranged for tonight, conversation had being going well.. and then suddenly ghosted out of nowhere.
Why do people do that??
Such a waste of time getting ready and looking good "
BTW, sorry to read this. She (presumung it's a she?!) will get her come uppings. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
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"So had a date arranged for tonight, conversation had being going well.. and then suddenly ghosted out of nowhere.
Why do people do that??
Such a waste of time getting ready and looking good
BTW, sorry to read this. She (presumung it's a she?!) will get her come uppings."
correct, she was a female. I'm so sorry that man did that to you as well. Some people have no consideration for other people's feelings either. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
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"Is ghosting cancelling at late notice or just not showing ?
In my experience it’s arranging a date and then the day of the date they go silent and never hear from them again "
this is 100% what had happened. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
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Thank you all for the replies. I've being on the dating sites for a while and it's very rarely I get even a reply from a person. I've being told to have confidence and I'd get a date no problem.. well kinda hard to have confidence when let down constantly..
Anyway, I think it's time to realise it is gonna be the single life for me from here on in.
Btw, this is not a 'poor me' text, just speaking out loud I guess  |
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"Thank you all for the replies. I've being on the dating sites for a while and it's very rarely I get even a reply from a person. I've being told to have confidence and I'd get a date no problem.. well kinda hard to have confidence when let down constantly..
Anyway, I think it's time to realise it is gonna be the single life for me from here on in.
Btw, this is not a 'poor me' text, just speaking out loud I guess "
Everyone gets ghosted now and then in this game. Once you absorb this information then hopefully you will understand that it's not personal, so there is no need to take it personally and have it effect your confidence. |
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By *aseylee324Couple 48 weeks ago
Valley of Squinting Windows |
"Thank you all for the replies. I've being on the dating sites for a while and it's very rarely I get even a reply from a person. I've being told to have confidence and I'd get a date no problem.. well kinda hard to have confidence when let down constantly..
Anyway, I think it's time to realise it is gonna be the single life for me from here on in.
Btw, this is not a 'poor me' text, just speaking out loud I guess "
When someone does this, it is 100% about them and zero reflection on you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
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"Thank you all for the replies. I've being on the dating sites for a while and it's very rarely I get even a reply from a person. I've being told to have confidence and I'd get a date no problem.. well kinda hard to have confidence when let down constantly..
Anyway, I think it's time to realise it is gonna be the single life for me from here on in.
Btw, this is not a 'poor me' text, just speaking out loud I guess
When someone does this, it is 100% about them and zero reflection on you"
Thank you for the kind words, it's much appreciated |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
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"Thank you all for the replies. I've being on the dating sites for a while and it's very rarely I get even a reply from a person. I've being told to have confidence and I'd get a date no problem.. well kinda hard to have confidence when let down constantly..
Anyway, I think it's time to realise it is gonna be the single life for me from here on in.
Btw, this is not a 'poor me' text, just speaking out loud I guess
Everyone gets ghosted now and then in this game. Once you absorb this information then hopefully you will understand that it's not personal, so there is no need to take it personally and have it effect your confidence."
Onwards and upwards, isn't that what people say.. |
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"Another story of being ghosted here too. Several months ago and well over it!
He messaged at 6pm to say he was jumping into the shower and that he'd be there for 7.30 ~ last I heard from this self confessed sound lad!!
Then of course I was blocked.
Some people are so so pathetic.
Karma sorts them though as far as I'm concerned."
Some amount of single males lost between the shower and getting to a meet!! Fab’s very own Bermuda Triangle |
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From my own past experiences I know how infuriating it can be, particularly when it happens on the day of a meet but life generally has a way of evening things out. The next meet will be twice as fun because of it  |
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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Sorry to hear it just had form , been ghosted myself by the same man on his way to collect me lol just goes missing for weeks . Silly me gives too many chances but no more . Write if off and let them jog on |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
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"Sorry to hear it just had form , been ghosted myself by the same man on his way to collect me lol just goes missing for weeks . Silly me gives too many chances but no more . Write if off and let them jog on "
Its a learning curve really. I'm sorry that some fella did that to you too.
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By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
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"Seems to be the norm nowadays  "
Certainly isn't a nice thing to do but yeah it seems to be a common thing for both men and women to do. I'd rather just be honest. |
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We had a local girl who was messaging us both on Snapchat. Lots of chat and banter over the few weeks.
We were home one night kid free, invited her over. She was in town about 12 minutes away from us.
She was delighted to get the invite.
Chatting all day, she told us she was on the way, sent us a picture of her on here way. And then nothing... we were genuinely worried she had ditched the car. No text back, zero interaction for a few days.. pops back up as if nothing happened |
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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If you think it’s bad here or on the dating apps, you should try done deal, there must be aliens teleporting people off the planet, the amount of no shows. |
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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I so hate it, I had same experience with few guys, then they come back asking for second chance, you had your time to shine, but you didn’t bother about it, so I never give second chance, has lots of fab guy who can keep their word . |
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"I so hate it, I had same experience with few guys, then they come back asking for second chance, you had your time to shine, but you didn’t bother about it, so I never give second chance, has lots of fab guy who can keep their word . "
I'd never need a second chance with you rosepearl..
Bob(",) |
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"I drove to kilkenny years ago for a coffee meet.
Got to kilkenny, she told me she was held up and she'd be 10 mins late.
She's at least 8 years late now
Was the coffee even nice  "
Yes, so nice I even had time for a second one and a slice of apple tart and cream |
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"So had a date arranged for tonight, conversation had being going well.. and then suddenly ghosted out of nowhere.
Why do people do that??
Such a waste of time getting ready and looking good "
Happens so much on here but generally on dating apps it's the same. I don't get why people can't just be adults and say they're not interested? So many timewasters unfortunately these days |
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By *MCOUPLECouple 48 weeks ago
North Coast |
Happened to us twice today in close succession and we even had the childcare taken care of.
This appears to be a real issue up here unless you attend all these socials which is hard with other life commitments. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
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"So had a date arranged for tonight, conversation had being going well.. and then suddenly ghosted out of nowhere.
Why do people do that??
Such a waste of time getting ready and looking good
Happens so much on here but generally on dating apps it's the same. I don't get why people can't just be adults and say they're not interested? So many timewasters unfortunately these days "
100% fully agree with what you said here |
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By *ack RMan 48 weeks ago
galway |
Sorry to hear that. Don’t despair!
I really don’t get why people do that. It’s so immature and damaging. We’re all adults, if you changed your mind just say so. I had a few women ghosting me online only, we were chatting, all was going well and then they just disappeared |
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"Happened to us twice today in close succession and we even had the childcare taken care of.
This appears to be a real issue up here unless you attend all these socials which is hard with other life commitments. "
Same here it's happened us a few times on too, I really can't understand it, some people just don't understand it is for people to arrange childcare, think it's pure selfish personally. |
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By *apmCouple 48 weeks ago
navan |
A couple did this to us a few weeks back. Chatting for a few days, arranged to meet at a hotel. They were sending sexy pics from a hot tub the night before. Us sat in hotel bar for an hour. And just like that they ghosted. |
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By *panishRebelMan 48 weeks ago
Alicante Spain, and Cork City Ireland |
I always plan with no expectations.
If it's a coffee meet, at worst I will enjoy a good coffee, or a beer.
If it involves a drive, at worst I get to listen to good music.
Sometimes that's all there is....and I still enjoy myself.
I let the ghosts in the shadows |
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By *aseylee324Couple 48 weeks ago
Valley of Squinting Windows |
"I always plan with no expectations.
If it's a coffee meet, at worst I will enjoy a good coffee, or a beer.
If it involves a drive, at worst I get to listen to good music.
Sometimes that's all there is....and I still enjoy myself.
I let the ghosts in the shadows "
We've never been ghosted, but this is exactly our approach to prospective meets, no expectations. |
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By *og-ManMan 48 weeks ago
somewhere |
Maybe thats why so many couples prefer meeting at socials now in hotels
Lots of others you can chat to in the weeks coming up to the social and rooms upstairs in the hotel if ye take it there
You also get the chance to kick them out to their own room and they don't have to go far |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
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"This has happened me so many times..but Ive learn that the good ones out number the bad one's so I just let it Go block and move on.."
What you say is true, however the bad ones make it so much harder for the good ones to meet and date someone. Anyway positivity from here on I guess.
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"This has happened me so many times..but Ive learn that the good ones out number the bad one's so I just let it Go block and move on.."
looket here bog, I gave you genuinely excuses, you chose not to believe them.. ie . I had to put in the hens,,,, I had to shovel the rest of the wind up the hill on a calm night, several members of my family died at exactly the same time,,I couldn't get a taxi ,even though you live 500 meters away, I was delayed at the airport waiting for my boat to come in. Etc etc etc,, your were just impatient.......
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"This has happened me so many times..but Ive learn that the good ones out number the bad one's so I just let it Go block and move on..looket here bog, I gave you genuinely excuses, you chose not to believe them.. ie . I had to put in the hens,,,, I had to shovel the rest of the wind up the hill on a calm night, several members of my family died at exactly the same time,,I couldn't get a taxi ,even though you live 500 meters away, I was delayed at the airport waiting for my boat to come in. Etc etc etc,, your were just impatient....... "
Oh I'm writing ALL of these down  |
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By (user no longer on site) 47 weeks ago
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"Is ghosting cancelling at late notice or just not showing ?"
Ghosting is when all of a sudden you're being ignored with no explanation..No shows is plain old fashioned being stood up....
Canceling at last minute isn't ghosting..at least they cancelled..!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 47 weeks ago
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I think I need to point out that the ghosting happened from someone I was talking to on tinder. I would hope if I was lucky enough to get a social meet on fab that I would'nt be ghosted or that we'd both be adult enough and say we've changed our minds. |
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"This has happened me so many times..but Ive learn that the good ones out number the bad one's so I just let it Go block and move on..looket here bog, I gave you genuinely excuses, you chose not to believe them.. ie . I had to put in the hens,,,, I had to shovel the rest of the wind up the hill on a calm night, several members of my family died at exactly the same time,,I couldn't get a taxi ,even though you live 500 meters away, I was delayed at the airport waiting for my boat to come in. Etc etc etc,, your were just impatient.......
Oh I'm writing ALL of these down "
laughing here, I hope some of them work for you.. also,, the dog died ,, is another one,, even though it may be the dog you ran over in your rush to get to your date |
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By *ancy38Woman 47 weeks ago
galway |
Happened to me alot. They just love chatting and collecting pics. Some even with good veris have did it in me. Last min ghosted then either deleted their profile, blocked me or made their profile hidden. Very frustrating! Now, I only meet at socials or parties to get to know someone first. To much of my time been wasted! |
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By *astelloWoman 47 weeks ago
Far far away |
Its rudeness personfied. Sorry to hear op. But you cant judge everyone by the same low standards. Unfortunately on fab, its the veil of secrecy that allows people to do that. You mentioned traditional channels, perhaps better chance of a meet when people are more financially invested. |
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I got messaged by someone who wasn’t really my cuppa but I was respectful and chatted away for a bit. Next thing you know, ghosted. I certainly didn’t say anything inappropriate. I would have been more upset if I was interested. |
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By *og-ManMan 47 weeks ago
somewhere |
"It’s so common, not so much on fab but on dating apps it’s rampant and any girl I talk to about dating says the same, it’s baffling!
I would never cancel on you."
Absolutely everyone says that and then some don't bother showing up |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 47 weeks ago
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"Its rudeness personfied. Sorry to hear op. But you cant judge everyone by the same low standards. Unfortunately on fab, its the veil of secrecy that allows people to do that. You mentioned traditional channels, perhaps better chance of a meet when people are more financially invested. "
Thank you for your advice, it's always appreciated from yourself. I'm not sure what you mean by financially invested though?
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Ghosted is when the person you were meeting was never going to meet and they get something out of texting endlessy. was very surprised when I came onto this site to see that this is normal behaviour. Had assumed everyone here knew what this was ! |
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"Has happened me twice now & it's so annoying, hard enough on here without the mind games first time was sat in pub waiting was told taxi was running late & be 20 mins or so & that's the last I heard but at least I picked the pub so the Guinness was good 
wanna meet?
Will you show up tho
oh!!is that how it works?!
Didn't know you have to actually show up "
Show up
Go down
Either works |
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Since we joined we've only planned 1 meet and the same thing happened with us. It is what it is. We just put it down to nerves and enjoyed our night out anyway. I suppose it is easier if you're part of a couple though. Less chance of it ruining your night. |
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"This has happened a few times to us too. You start to spot the signs... our attitude now is that its their loss "
Well thos has made me feel better about being ghosted.. if someone will ghost you guys.. |
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By *lueLotusWoman 47 weeks ago
the wilderness |
"Ghosted is when the person you were meeting was never going to meet and they get something out of texting endlessy. was very surprised when I came onto this site to see that this is normal behaviour. Had assumed everyone here knew what this was ! "
This happened me when I first joined the site... Was texting every day for weeks and thought it was building up to a really nice first meet then complete silence. The person who scraped me up off the floor and set me right again with a very hot meet more than made up for it  it can be an emotional rollercoaster tho eh |
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By *ickin2Man 47 weeks ago
Kilkenny |
One lady said that she was parked outside my door. Not there when I went out. Only to find out that she had taken down her profile
On several other occasions on the day before the meet I was asked for my picture. Only to be informed that I was not there type and immediately blocked.
Still see the same people on the site here. Obviously they don't have much respect for themselves or anyone else on here |
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By *zippyMan 47 weeks ago
Wexford |
No doubt some people get their kicks from leading the chase and just don't give two fucks about anyone,
But in others some of it has to attributed to anxiety and fear, possibly a bit of self hatred as well in some, they're just burning up inside. Lord knows it can be so debilitating and then comes the self shame |
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By *og-ManMan 47 weeks ago
somewhere |
"No doubt some people get their kicks from leading the chase and just don't give two fucks about anyone,
But in others some of it has to attributed to anxiety and fear, possibly a bit of self hatred as well in some, they're just burning up inside. Lord knows it can be so debilitating and then comes the self shame "
If that how the site makes anyone feel then they should leave the site for their own mental health |
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By (user no longer on site) 47 weeks ago
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Had a couple from clare organise a meet at an eircode, on a date and time, even confirmed with a 2nd contact method, then block me, and then change their location to another county. No doubt they are repeating again…. |
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By *ickin2Man 47 weeks ago
Kilkenny |
"No doubt some people get their kicks from leading the chase and just don't give two fucks about anyone,
But in others some of it has to attributed to anxiety and fear, possibly a bit of self hatred as well in some, they're just burning up inside. Lord knows it can be so debilitating and then comes the self shame "
Very true |
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By *zippyMan 47 weeks ago
Wexford |
"No doubt some people get their kicks from leading the chase and just don't give two fucks about anyone,
But in others some of it has to attributed to anxiety and fear, possibly a bit of self hatred as well in some, they're just burning up inside. Lord knows it can be so debilitating and then comes the self shame
If that how the site makes anyone feel then they should leave the site for their own mental health "
Can happen to anyone,in many aspects in life, anxiety is not only caused by mental health issues, sometimes the cure for one problem is the cause of another |
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By (user no longer on site) 47 weeks ago
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Omg I had that last week! Messaged early morning to say he was getting in the shower, never showed up! I didn't hear from him again that day but I saw that he was active on Messenger, then messages me a few days later like nothing is wrong! |
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"Thank you all for the replies. I've being on the dating sites for a while and it's very rarely I get even a reply from a person. I've being told to have confidence and I'd get a date no problem.. well kinda hard to have confidence when let down constantly..what's wrong with the single life you say it like its a bad thing im cery happily single and still enjoy life
Anyway, I think it's time to realise it is gonna be the single life for me from here on in.
Btw, this is not a 'poor me' text, just speaking out loud I guess "
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By (user no longer on site) 47 weeks ago
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I've berm ghosted, and it seems some take great pleasure in it. Before Christmas I was chatting with someone for a few days, they were due to visit Cork and wanted to meet. Invited me to their hotel. Sent photos 'from the hotel room', etc etc. They said they'd meet me off the lift on floor 4. And once I got to floor 4 they disappeared, there was noone there, they probably weren't even in Cork. I'll never understand why they bother. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 47 weeks ago
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"Unfortunately that happens a bit here .
Few reasons for it
One a fake profile
Or two just a messy person that is hiding a lot of stuff
Well rid mate you will find fun with genuine people here "
Cheers lad. Dating isn't as good as it use to be many years ago, lot less hassle in the old days lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 47 weeks ago
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"I've berm ghosted, and it seems some take great pleasure in it. Before Christmas I was chatting with someone for a few days, they were due to visit Cork and wanted to meet. Invited me to their hotel. Sent photos 'from the hotel room', etc etc. They said they'd meet me off the lift on floor 4. And once I got to floor 4 they disappeared, there was noone there, they probably weren't even in Cork. I'll never understand why they bother. "
In fairness that's a horrible thing to do. Karma will get them no doubt.
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Was ghosted recently by someone who we got on very well with at a social and who was keen to play, then ghosted in the run up to it. It's becoming more and more common here but tbh we aren't pushed meeting for the foreseeable so it doesn't bother us as much as it would have before |
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By *JRRMan 47 weeks ago
D7 |
I hate getting ghosted. I totally understand people can get cold feet, they can decide they don’t like or don’t want to meet me last minute. That’s fine I can’t control that but I just can’t stand being blanked. All it takes is a text just to say you’re not up for it. But then again I suppose nobody owes anybody anything here so I dunno. |
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It’s really depressing to read these experiences… It’s clear from the stories here it has real impact. I see the advice not to take it personally and would imagine this is very difficult as we will primed to ask why this happened as many are. I would suspect the psychology behind it is something along the lines of:
‘Fab is not real life. My actions don’t have the same consequences as real life. Therefore if I chose to withdraw its fine. It’s not really hurting anyone’.
I’ve been involved in research on online bullying and the expression here is ‘disassociation’. The emotional impact of the action isn’t visible and so our empathetic responses are muted.
I doubt this helps anyone very much but possibly gives some context to those wonder why… |
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2nd time ghosted made no sense at all date arranged hotel booked then never showed up could see was online but no reply still had a grand night big bed hotel bed to myself but happens a lot on here going by comments |
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By *panishRebelMan 46 weeks ago
Alicante Spain, and Cork City Ireland |
"I seem to get ghosted by people who have spent the previous while convincing me to meet them . Strange last behaviour on here "
I don't really get the behaviour. I can conceive of some who just get the frights and pull out....but to not say anything and to string people along ....I can't write what I think as I would be so binned |
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This is why I will not go miles or spend a or of money. I expect nothing until I have met someone-even then it’s best to remain realistic. Unfortunately I find myself treating any attention on here with a degree of suspicion-so many scammers and fakes. Those with fake profiles and string people along-really nasty but it happens. So it’s best not to get your hopes up and ensure losses are minimal. |
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By (user no longer on site) 39 weeks ago
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"This has happened a few times to us too. You start to spot the signs... our attitude now is that its their loss
Well thos has made me feel better about being ghosted.. if someone will ghost you guys.. "
Ok 2 things and 1st thing 1st.. your 1st photo Ohh my god.... and 2nd i cant understand why anyone would ghost you, or anyone else for that matter. Surely the person doing the ghosting must think other members talk to each other and although naming on the forums is not allowed.. naming between people who talk well.. a ghosters name will be passed round. .. did i mention your 1st pboto by the way?? |
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"This has happened a few times to us too. You start to spot the signs... our attitude now is that its their loss
Well thos has made me feel better about being ghosted.. if someone will ghost you guys..
Ok 2 things and 1st thing 1st.. your 1st photo Ohh my god.... and 2nd i cant understand why anyone would ghost you, or anyone else for that matter. Surely the person doing the ghosting must think other members talk to each other and although naming on the forums is not allowed.. naming between people who talk well.. a ghosters name will be passed round. .. did i mention your 1st pboto by the way?? "
karma karma karma karma karma chameleon sung in C very flat lol it’s all swings and roundabout and they bar us it’s a time saving Measure for us to enjoy fabulous people of which there are numerous lovely people on here cheers |
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