You get chatting to someone, exchange a few messages before having a telephone conversation. Chat flows and you decide to meet for a coffee a few days later.
No contact in between so you assume it's not actually happening.
Get a call on the day, but an hour or 2 later than the time you'd originally planned to meet where. Other person just comes clean and admits they forgot all about it!!
Seems a nice enough person, definitely no hard feelings on your end.
Here the dilemma!
What would you do??
Would you rearrange or just leave it?
Looking forward to hearing your opinions... |
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"you decide to meet for a coffee a few days later.
No contact in between so you assume it's not actually happening."
Why assume it's not happening?
If a few days of no chat would you not check in the day before just to confirm? |
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I wouldn't assume something is not happening if there's a lull in the chat. That's not uncommon in my experience. Especially if a date is confirmed.
I'd always give the benefit of the doubt at least once. Life happens and we're only human. |
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Couple of years ago I would have given them a second chance. Now I wouldn't even entertain them. For example I was meant to be getting coffee on Friday with newbie to help verify I messaged him on Thursday to confirm. He was on Fab all weekend didn't reply until this morning hoping to reschedule. I've learnt my time is too precious and if they're flaky about coffee they are less likely to turn up for meet. |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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"If they forgot about it, I’d forget about them. No excuse for bad manners "
^^^^^^^ This
If they forgot about me I'd want nothing to do with them, that just says so much....they thought very little of me if they forgot about me. It's never happened to me but if it did I'd say 'good fkin look to ya'  |
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By *affa31Woman 46 weeks ago
Galway |
"Couple of years ago I would have given them a second chance. Now I wouldn't even entertain them. For example I was meant to be getting coffee on Friday with newbie to help verify I messaged him on Thursday to confirm. He was on Fab all weekend didn't reply until this morning hoping to reschedule. I've learnt my time is too precious and if they're flaky about coffee they are less likely to turn up for meet. "
There’s a big difference between being ghosted like that and neither party confirming that a coffee is still going ahead though. |
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I've Zero tolerance for those kind of people.
I get it a lot, plenty of guys all on a high chatting away saying that they're available the weekend or midweek and nothing happens
They then have the audacity to message me asking me am I busy this week, thinking I'd forgotten their suggestions for a meet.
It ruins it for genuine people.
Look if they're that aloof and forgetful, after you putting your good faith in a possible meet and they didn't remember.
Single guys don't have much luck here and he was lucky enough for you to accept his meet.
He's just another blip on your screen, he'll probably try charm you again and pull at your heart strings etc
It's like school homework here a lot, the dogs seem to rat a lot of homework |
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"You get chatting to someone, exchange a few messages before having a telephone conversation. Chat flows and you decide to meet for a coffee a few days later.
No contact in between so you assume it's not actually happening.
Get a call on the day, but an hour or 2 later than the time you'd originally planned to meet where. Other person just comes clean and admits they forgot all about it!!
Seems a nice enough person, definitely no hard feelings on your end.
Here the dilemma!
What would you do??
Would you rearrange or just leave it?
Looking forward to hearing your opinions..."
Did you not message them in advance of the time you agreed to meet? Seems like maybe you ghosted each other. Either way you were both probably not that into it if neither of you messaged in the run up to it. |
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I had a very similar thing happened to me.
Arranged a coffee, few days no chat, I check in the night before if they're still up for it. Because I didn't message for a few days - they assumed that I changed my mind and made other plans 
Annoying, yes, but in your situation OP, I would have checked in the night before. |
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I offered to meet someone who posted constantly on the forums about being stood up.
They were staying in an hotel 10 minutes from where I was working so it wasn't out of my way.
Kept in touch with them up until the day before when suddenly they claimed they didn't remember making any arrangements to meet me and were already meeting someone else not connected to fab at all.
I thought it was ironic after all their forum posts but lo and behold they had a shiny new fab veri the next day.
It taught me that most of what is said on the forums is done for effect.
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By *ickin2Man 46 weeks ago
Kilkenny |
Think that I am in the minority here.
If I ha arranged a meeting with a lady and she forgot then I would give her a second chance. That's if she asked me to reschedule.
Some of us are very well organised and never forget anything
More people could not organise a party in a brewery
Perfection ?. I'm not perfect anyway
If the Lady was to forget a 2nd time well then definitely bye bye |
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I'm kinda surprised at the amount of people that said not a chance, to forget about him!
It's not like she got stood up, she didn't bother her arse to go either and she didn't bother to make contact.
One of them is as bad as the other!
I'd arrange again, and maybe a little bit more communication kids! Did you plan to talk when you met or just stare blankly at each other? |
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"I'm kinda surprised at the amount of people that said not a chance, to forget about him!
It's not like she got stood up, she didn't bother her arse to go either and she didn't bother to make contact.
One of them is as bad as the other!
I'd arrange again, and maybe a little bit more communication kids! Did you plan to talk when you met or just stare blankly at each other?"
Not sure why you feel the need to reply with such attitude? I suppose there's always one |
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"I'm kinda surprised at the amount of people that said not a chance, to forget about him!
It's not like she got stood up, she didn't bother her arse to go either and she didn't bother to make contact.
One of them is as bad as the other!
I'd arrange again, and maybe a little bit more communication kids! Did you plan to talk when you met or just stare blankly at each other?
Not sure why you feel the need to reply with such attitude? I suppose there's always one "
No attitude at all. But the hypocrisy of it all did give me a chuckle tbh! |
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"I'm kinda surprised at the amount of people that said not a chance, to forget about him!
It's not like she got stood up, she didn't bother her arse to go either and she didn't bother to make contact.
One of them is as bad as the other!
I'd arrange again, and maybe a little bit more communication kids! Did you plan to talk when you met or just stare blankly at each other?
Not sure why you feel the need to reply with such attitude? I suppose there's always one
No attitude at all. But the hypocrisy of it all did give me a chuckle tbh!"
You've also given me a right good laugh!  |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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I got stood up last week and it’s not great tbh. Social arranged time etc. they were working nights and wouldn’t be here for a couple days. I arrived on time and messaged to say where I was sitting, to save them looking for me and got a reply didn’t think you were going to show up as they hadn’t heard from me for a couple of days. Please read the bit about night shifts again. Not looking for sympathy or attention but manners aren’t that much to expect |
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By *indenMan 46 weeks ago
Naas which is South West of Dublin |
I think communication is a two way street, if I’d arranged to meet someone and they hadn’t contacted me before the meet, I’d be contacting them to confirm.
I’m not sure where the assumption that it’s not going ahead came from.
Have you considered the possibility that since you assumed it wasn’t going ahead and didn’t turn up that perhaps they did, were embarrassed to be stood up and then pretended they forgot to save a little face? |
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"I think communication is a two way street, if I’d arranged to meet someone and they hadn’t contacted me before the meet, I’d be contacting them to confirm.
I’m not sure where the assumption that it’s not going ahead came from.
Have you considered the possibility that since you assumed it wasn’t going ahead and didn’t turn up that perhaps they did, were embarrassed to be stood up and then pretended they forgot to save a little face?"
I hadn't to be honest.
Always interesting getting alternative perspectives.
TY. |
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