Are we getting there?
Are people playing less games and being more sincere about what they want to receive and what they want to give. Limits in both/all directions.
I m noticing a change in communication style.... Maybe there is more brutal/radical honesty floating around.
It's probably a good thing, but also requires an effort to navigate it with empathy and kindness.
What do you think? |
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By *adylaceWoman 44 weeks ago
Waterford City |
I think some people use radical honesty as an excuse to be rude and hurtful. I try to be completely honest and clear with everyone but I take people's feelings into account when I'm choosing how to word that honesty. |
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"I think some people use radical honesty as an excuse to be rude and hurtful. I try to be completely honest and clear with everyone but I take people's feelings into account when I'm choosing how to word that honesty. "
Agree, so important, and if relevant even a tiny bit of constructive feedback can help a lot. You never know, might be taken on board and behaviours not repeated. |
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I'm all about honesty and straight talking. Important to get the balance right though to avoid any unnecessary upset.
I've noticed a small few forum contributors who seem to thrive on making smart ass comments and twisting things around in their replies.
Kinda sad, but surw if that's how they get their kicks. |
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By and large I've had great experiences when it comes to communication before and during meets on fab.
That kind honesty and the ability to be up front and still be chill would have been fairly new to me before I signed up here and I've learned a lot about my own ability to express what I need and want as well as acknowledging what I feel and notice.
I feel like radical honesty for me is about learning to be honest with myself and empathetic with others before I speak about what I think I want or react to what I think I'm noticing.
It's one of those slow incremental learnings that never really ends and is often a case of learning through reflection for me. |
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"By and large I've had great experiences when it comes to communication before and during meets on fab.
That kind honesty and the ability to be up front and still be chill would have been fairly new to me before I signed up here and I've learned a lot about my own ability to express what I need and want as well as acknowledging what I feel and notice.
I feel like radical honesty for me is about learning to be honest with myself and empathetic with others before I speak about what I think I want or react to what I think I'm noticing.
It's one of those slow incremental learnings that never really ends and is often a case of learning through reflection for me."
Love this, yes, I feel very similar. It's a learning curve. Learning to accept what people say at face value, not read anything more into it. Accept them as they are and learn to ask and listen and also look after yourself in a healthy way at the same time.
Maintain your own priorities without hurting others. |
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For me honestly is something personal that I try and do. It's not something I anticipate getting off everyone else, because many people lie all the time, and don't give it second thought. That's even more true if they want something from you.
Strive to be honest but don't mug yourself by believing that everyone else does the same.
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By *asual777Man 44 weeks ago
i travel all over |
What’s it like to be at the receiving end of me ?
If on the other side you have someone sensitive and fragile , radical honesty might shatter them into little pieces. Alternatively for some it needs to be heard just like it is . Like everything , it depends on the individual case . |
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By (user no longer on site) 44 weeks ago
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"Are we getting there?
Are people playing less games and being more sincere about what they want to receive and what they want to give. Limits in both/all directions.
I m noticing a change in communication style.... Maybe there is more brutal/radical honesty floating around.
It's probably a good thing, but also requires an effort to navigate it with empathy and kindness.
What do you think? "
I think your question tells a lot about you. And how you communicate and express yourself on here. Empathy is such a powerful thing. Showing some is such a kind and thoughtful thing to do. And equally a lack of empathy is an indicator of where some people are really at.
As a single guy on here now and part of a couples profile before I've seen both sides. But by and large most people on here have shown me at least that there's mostly good  |
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By (user no longer on site) 44 weeks ago
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Many on here will mollycoddle feelings to try get what they want. The fact that the truth hurts is not what everyone wants so they tip toe around factual honest opinions. I find people are what they are and if someone says what seems to be true then why be hurt. Example: if your fat and someone points out so then how can you be offended? If your not of interest to the opposite sex yet they have more reviews that a Google best place to eat hasn't got and they're referred to as sl*ts then why get offended by the truth?
Too many simps on here hoping being nice will get them what they want and too many opposite sex's thinking they're too good to be used.
That's my opinion.
Honesty is the best policy, stop being offended by truths. |
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"Are we getting there?
Are people playing less games and being more sincere about what they want to receive and what they want to give. Limits in both/all directions.
I m noticing a change in communication style.... Maybe there is more brutal/radical honesty floating around.
It's probably a good thing, but also requires an effort to navigate it with empathy and kindness.
What do you think? "
Is there a fad or has it become fashionable now to be more accurate or honest in what you say on here? I suppose as the old saying goes, if you’ve nothing nice to say and all that.
I’ve seen threads, comments and updates that are just rude and nasty. Yeah opinion’s are like arseholes, everyone has one however you don’t necessarily have to give your opinion or if you have to, don’t be cutting in the way it’s delivered. Of course, be respectful of others right to express their views. You can be honest if you need to, but you don’t need to make the other person small in the way you do. This should not just be for Fab but life itself and sometimes when I see what someone has written, I think to myself, you’re a tad nasty. You should always deliver with dignity, politeness, respect and consideration.
My opinion anyway but that might make me an arsehole too.  |
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By (user no longer on site) 44 weeks ago
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"Are we getting there?
Are people playing less games and being more sincere about what they want to receive and what they want to give. Limits in both/all directions.
I m noticing a change in communication style.... Maybe there is more brutal/radical honesty floating around.
It's probably a good thing, but also requires an effort to navigate it with empathy and kindness.
What do you think?
Is there a fad or has it become fashionable now to be more accurate or honest in what you say on here? I suppose as the old saying goes, if you’ve nothing nice to say and all that.
I’ve seen threads, comments and updates that are just rude and nasty. Yeah opinion’s are like arseholes, everyone has one however you don’t necessarily have to give your opinion or if you have to, don’t be cutting in the way it’s delivered. Of course, be respectful of others right to express their views. You can be honest if you need to, but you don’t need to make the other person small in the way you do. This should not just be for Fab but life itself and sometimes when I see what someone has written, I think to myself, you’re a tad nasty. You should always deliver with dignity, politeness, respect and consideration.
My opinion anyway but that might make me an arsehole too. "
Well said |
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By *og-ManMan 44 weeks ago
somewhere |
"Many on here will mollycoddle feelings to try get what they want. The fact that the truth hurts is not what everyone wants so they tip toe around factual honest opinions. I find people are what they are and if someone says what seems to be true then why be hurt. Example: if your fat and someone points out so then how can you be offended? If your not of interest to the opposite sex yet they have more reviews that a Google best place to eat hasn't got and they're referred to as sl*ts then why get offended by the truth?
Too many simps on here hoping being nice will get them what they want and too many opposite sex's thinking they're too good to be used.
That's my opinion.
Honesty is the best policy, stop being offended by truths."
If someone messages me and I dont want to take it any further I'll say no thanks no interest ......I dont give them a list of what I think are their faults to make them feel bad
Its honest as far as I'm concerned |
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By *aseylee324Couple 44 weeks ago
Valley of Squinting Windows |
"Many on here will mollycoddle feelings to try get what they want. The fact that the truth hurts is not what everyone wants so they tip toe around factual honest opinions. I find people are what they are and if someone says what seems to be true then why be hurt. Example: if your fat and someone points out so then how can you be offended? If your not of interest to the opposite sex yet they have more reviews that a Google best place to eat hasn't got and they're referred to as sl*ts then why get offended by the truth?
Too many simps on here hoping being nice will get them what they want and too many opposite sex's thinking they're too good to be used.
That's my opinion.
Honesty is the best policy, stop being offended by truths.
If someone messages me and I dont want to take it any further I'll say no thanks no interest ......I dont give them a list of what I think are their faults to make them feel bad
Its honest as far as I'm concerned "
What about those guys who say "but why not" when you give a polite refusal?  |
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By *oghunter33Woman 44 weeks ago
on the hill NordWest of |
In general I don't think people are playing less games and are more honest, quite contrary, social media and AI enables this on a far bigger scale than ever.
My approach on here is live and let live, tolerance and respect normally results with frankness in return. |
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By *og-ManMan 44 weeks ago
somewhere |
"Many on here will mollycoddle feelings to try get what they want. The fact that the truth hurts is not what everyone wants so they tip toe around factual honest opinions. I find people are what they are and if someone says what seems to be true then why be hurt. Example: if your fat and someone points out so then how can you be offended? If your not of interest to the opposite sex yet they have more reviews that a Google best place to eat hasn't got and they're referred to as sl*ts then why get offended by the truth?
Too many simps on here hoping being nice will get them what they want and too many opposite sex's thinking they're too good to be used.
That's my opinion.
Honesty is the best policy, stop being offended by truths.
If someone messages me and I dont want to take it any further I'll say no thanks no interest ......I dont give them a list of what I think are their faults to make them feel bad
Its honest as far as I'm concerned
What about those guys who say "but why not" when you give a polite refusal? "
Blocked |
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There have always been those who think honesty should be weaponised and it's up to everyone else to deal with it.
How many times have we seen people in the forums say that they will just say it as it is and they don't give a fuck what others think of them?
The irony of that statement is that more often than not they don't give a fuck about how their honesty could impact others and by throwing it out there they want people to believe they aren't really influenced by anyone else's truth!
There's nothing radical about the truth unless you are trying to convince others that you are so edgy. |
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This is very sad really. I was chatting to a woman only last week only trying to find out about her. Now I had messaged her before yes I k ow it says if you didn't get a reply last time move on. But im not the tipe of person to give up on a person. At this time I did say to the women that I had messaged her before and accepted that women get a lot of messages and they can't reply to all but being me with my dry sense of humour said I let you off for not reply to me. Well unfortunately she didn't really like my sence of humour or she just didn't get it
But I was being honest and truthful with her as I could.
She thorght I had a chip on my shoulder.
No I didn't. She blocked me.
Well there's another day. |
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By (user no longer on site) 44 weeks ago
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I think whatever happens, happens. If you message someone and they don't reply or delete, that's fine. I mean, we can't all like each other right?
I have been left without reply as I have deleted messages from people that I didn't have any attraction at all.
I think it's just the nature of the website. People shouldn't take it too serious... |
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Radical honesty is fine, but too many don't understand the difference between it and brutal honesty. At it's core, radical honesty should show empathy, be approached from a place of kindness, and never aim to hurt the feelings of others. |
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"Many on here will mollycoddle feelings to try get what they want. The fact that the truth hurts is not what everyone wants so they tip toe around factual honest opinions. I find people are what they are and if someone says what seems to be true then why be hurt. Example: if your fat and someone points out so then how can you be offended? If your not of interest to the opposite sex yet they have more reviews that a Google best place to eat hasn't got and they're referred to as sl*ts then why get offended by the truth?
Too many simps on here hoping being nice will get them what they want and too many opposite sex's thinking they're too good to be used.
That's my opinion.
Honesty is the best policy, stop being offended by truths."
A great example of what radical honesty ISN'T |
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"Radical honesty is fine, but too many don't understand the difference between it and brutal honesty. At it's core, radical honesty should show empathy, be approached from a place of kindness, and never aim to hurt the feelings of others."
Being honest doesn't mean that it needs to be brutally expressed. It can come from a place or kindness and empathy, and explained in a way that takes their feelings into consideration. |
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I'm more honest now than I used to be - I'm braver about saying things. I spent far too many years not saying things, particularly in relationships, that ate at me for years. So now I'll say it. And it's not always something negative or a criticism.
And it could be that I know by saying it I'm shooting myself in the foot and possibly risking the end of something, but for my own mental health I have to do it. |
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By (user no longer on site) 44 weeks ago
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"By and large I've had great experiences when it comes to communication before and during meets on fab.
That kind honesty and the ability to be up front and still be chill would have been fairly new to me before I signed up here and I've learned a lot about my own ability to express what I need and want as well as acknowledging what I feel and notice.
I feel like radical honesty for me is about learning to be honest with myself and empathetic with others before I speak about what I think I want or react to what I think I'm noticing.
It's one of those slow incremental learnings that never really ends and is often a case of learning through reflection for me."
Love it 
I try to be as honest and empathetic as I can as you said above it is a learning process |
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