FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Fab is a matriarchal society - discuss
Fab is a matriarchal society - discuss
Jump to: Newest in thread
| |||
| |||
 | |||
| |||
| |||
"Fab is definitely a woman’s world and why not.. true it has a little to do with the ratio of men to women probably 20/1 but it’s also that women are more selective, they need to be attracted to a guy before they’ll drop their nickers and I don’t mean attracted as in 6ft tall and ripped (which helps) but there has to be a personality, a glint in the eye to make the magic happen .. " But is this not the case outwith Fab also? | |||
| |||
| |||
 | |||
  | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
" Never cared about the ratio's of women to men cause I wasn't looking to sleep with them all " Indeed. If the ratio was flipped, I'd still only want what I want. Just as in life away from Fab. I wouldn't suddenly find attraction where there was previously none. I'd sooner do without. I'd much rather all men did Fab in the same way. Too often I'm gorgeous/beautiful/stunning until I'm not and the only thing that's changed is that I've said "no thank you". Then I'm fat/ugly/up my own hole. It just reinforces the sheer amount of sycophancy that goes on and that some men will say anything to anyone just to get their dick wet. Some will say this is a symptom of the matriarchal society here. The result of men's desperation to be noticed by someone, anyone. I say, have a bit of respect for yourself first and foremost. Holding out for the right person isn't the sole preserve of women. Men are perfectly capable of doing the same, and bravo to those who do | |||
" Never cared about the ratio's of women to men cause I wasn't looking to sleep with them all Indeed. If the ratio was flipped, I'd still only want what I want. Just as in life away from Fab. I wouldn't suddenly find attraction where there was previously none. I'd sooner do without. I'd much rather all men did Fab in the same way. Too often I'm gorgeous/beautiful/stunning until I'm not and the only thing that's changed is that I've said "no thank you". Then I'm fat/ugly/up my own hole. It just reinforces the sheer amount of sycophancy that goes on and that some men will say anything to anyone just to get their dick wet. Some will say this is a symptom of the matriarchal society here. The result of men's desperation to be noticed by someone, anyone. I say, have a bit of respect for yourself first and foremost. Holding out for the right person isn't the sole preserve of women. Men are perfectly capable of doing the same, and bravo to those who do " Have to say I find 99% of men polite, the worst they do is ghost...... But sure the whole world is at that these days. Let's all go back to being sound. | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"What kind of power though? The power of consent? We all have that. The power of choice? We all have that. Isn't the idea that men are powerless just another way to placate those who can't make it work? Half of all the single people meeting and fucking through fab are men. Every one of those men made a choice and gave consent. Half of every couple. A third of every threesome and so on. The idea that men are powerless and waiting for the matriarchs to decide who's getting laid is as repulsive as any other sexist trope. Think about it. If more than one woman would like to get with the same man doesn't that mean he has all the power if we use this logic?" I totally agree with this I've seen women arguing and fighting with each other of a man so who has all the power there definitely not the women.. At the same time I have seen some women who have got a god complex on here thinking they can disrespect men just because there a woman and they have all the power... | |||
"What kind of power though? The power of consent? We all have that. The power of choice? We all have that. Isn't the idea that men are powerless just another way to placate those who can't make it work? Half of all the single people meeting and fucking through fab are men. Every one of those men made a choice and gave consent. Half of every couple. A third of every threesome and so on. The idea that men are powerless and waiting for the matriarchs to decide who's getting laid is as repulsive as any other sexist trope. Think about it. If more than one woman would like to get with the same man doesn't that mean he has all the power if we use this logic?" Your thoughts there are based on an totalitarian interpretation of matriarchal where the men are totallly powerless and have nothing to say which is obviously not the case. I think there is such thing as fab pussy power because of the unbalanced men-women ratio, which gives women some advantage on here. Also the meet success rate for women is way higher.  | |||
| |||
"Eh, women are the gatekeepers of sex, that dynamic exists outside fab, they only appear to have all the power here because the site is about sex. Men still have the ability to refuse sex. " Do all men have that 'ability'  | |||
"What kind of power though? The power of consent? We all have that. The power of choice? We all have that. Isn't the idea that men are powerless just another way to placate those who can't make it work? Half of all the single people meeting and fucking through fab are men. Every one of those men made a choice and gave consent. Half of every couple. A third of every threesome and so on. The idea that men are powerless and waiting for the matriarchs to decide who's getting laid is as repulsive as any other sexist trope. Think about it. If more than one woman would like to get with the same man doesn't that mean he has all the power if we use this logic? Your thoughts there are based on an totalitarian interpretation of matriarchal where the men are totallly powerless and have nothing to say which is obviously not the case. I think there is such thing as fab pussy power because of the unbalanced men-women ratio, which gives women some advantage on here. Also the meet success rate for women is way higher. "My thoughts are based on a response to the original post 
For sure there is pussy power. And then there is pussy privilege.
| |||
"Eh, women are the gatekeepers of sex, that dynamic exists outside fab, they only appear to have all the power here because the site is about sex. Men still have the ability to refuse sex. Do all men have that 'ability' "If they don't they can't blame women!! | |||
| |||
"And then there is pussy privilege. " Checking mine right now! | |||
"And then there is pussy privilege. Checking mine right now! " | |||
"I pretty strongly disagree with this. First, that's not what a matriarchy is, you can't call every situation that had advantages for a woman in some way "a matriarchy". There is no such organisation, no authority figures, no family groups as such. I understand that for single men, being on here can be frustrating. Some of you feel disadvantaged. but there are a TON of reasons why calling that a matriarchal system doesn't make a lick of sense. 1. Talking to swinging couples, over half the time it's often the man who initiated swinging, who is the driving force behind checking fab, looking for dates. Female partners are often happy and willing to find a way to enjoy it. it's not all the time, but if your male partner is the driving force how is that 'matriarchal'? 2. The "no single men" policy often comes from other men, who don't like sharing. it's not everyone's cup of tea. an MFM threesome is often not as fun for the male half of the couple, and plenty of men start swinging with a "one penis policy" seeking FMF only. 3. Women's reluctance to meet and fuck random men is primarily motivated by the fear of sexual violence. Not's not just coming from women, our male partners also would not feel comfortable with us meeting a strange man in a hotel room. How can we really be calling people "selective" and "queen bee's" when you are navigating a genuine fear of assault? That doesn't sound very matriarchal to me. 4. Women's bodily autonomy is a fundamental right. not a weapon. I am here for my own enjoyment and pleasure. I cannot be compelled to have sex with someone I don't want to. No matter now nice, or polite someone is, They are not being "denied" anything because they were never owed sexual access in the first place. If you feel like women are denying you something, that speaks to a fundamental place of sexual entitlement. Male sexual entitlement is not exactly a matriarchy. Basically - if we want to fuck you we will, If we don't want to there is nothing wrong with that. To describe that as "control" over you, or something that makes you her drone - is wrong. It means you don't see women as autonomous sexual beings with our own right to pleasure and genuine desire. but instead as manipulative beings whose sex lives revolve around making certain bargains with men as a means of control. There is this very traditional view that men have a right to a varied and active sex life, and that male virility is a defining trait of masculinity. Individuals women's pleasures, desires - and sense of safety - don't always align with his. So as such we're seen as getting in the way of something a man is supposed to achieve. Just because women experience casual sex different to men, does not mean we are wrong, or need to change ourselves to better suit men. Even on a swinging site where we're all supposed to be these sophisticated, sexually empowered people, There is a lot of bitterness. There is no sexual empowerment, if a woman is not empowered to say no when she wants to. There are just too many men on here, and not enough women - because as well all know: Women have significantly less reasons to meet random sex for men. Less safety, more risk, we are more vulnerable, e have less potential for physical pleasure, less chance of being treated well by those men. it's not that we're all cold hearted bitches picking only the most wealthy, muscly men - it's that most of the time we'd rather stay home with a vibrator if we're horny. because navigating all this as a single women kind of sucks. I have nothing but support for the single woman who have managed to find their place in all this and find great guys to have a FwBs situation with. I honestly think they deserve it. " | |||
"Im not a drone,always followed my own flight path and have have some honey on the way Beehive yourself on here and you'll do fine Never cared about the ratio's of women to men cause I wasn't looking to sleep with them all "
| |||
| |||
| |||
"What kind of power though? The power of consent? We all have that. The power of choice? We all have that. Isn't the idea that men are powerless just another way to placate those who can't make it work? Half of all the single people meeting and fucking through fab are men. Every one of those men made a choice and gave consent. Half of every couple. A third of every threesome and so on. The idea that men are powerless and waiting for the matriarchs to decide who's getting laid is as repulsive as any other sexist trope. Think about it. If more than one woman would like to get with the same man doesn't that mean he has all the power if we use this logic? Your thoughts there are based on an totalitarian interpretation of matriarchal where the men are totallly powerless and have nothing to say which is obviously not the case. I think there is such thing as fab pussy power because of the unbalanced men-women ratio, which gives women some advantage on here. Also the meet success rate for women is way higher.
My thoughts are based on a response to the original post
For sure there is pussy power. And then there is pussy privilege.
"Just in response, I stand corrected. I suppose I picked the term matriarchal to indicate the balance of power was with women, not that men were powerless. As for the analogy of bees and drones, (which I know is a poor one). The image came to me at a recent social where two women were completely surrounded by men. So if Fab is not a matriarchal society, how would you describe it? Aside from the obvious. And again I understand that women have to protect themselves here, both here in Fab and outside. I am not one of those guys here complaining that no one responds to me. So far I have had a great time here, and I agree with Jaffa's comment that someone will get from Fab exactly what they put in. Finally, I hope I did not cause offence. This was merely a discussion to get other viewpoints and work out some positions. Particularly Bitlbee I agree with your statement. | |||
"I pretty strongly disagree with this. First, that's not what a matriarchy is, you can't call every situation that had advantages for a woman in some way "a matriarchy". There is no such organisation, no authority figures, no family groups as such. I understand that for single men, being on here can be frustrating. Some of you feel disadvantaged. but there are a TON of reasons why calling that a matriarchal system doesn't make a lick of sense. 1. Talking to swinging couples, over half the time it's often the man who initiated swinging, who is the driving force behind checking fab, looking for dates. Female partners are often happy and willing to find a way to enjoy it. it's not all the time, but if your male partner is the driving force how is that 'matriarchal'? 2. The "no single men" policy often comes from other men, who don't like sharing. it's not everyone's cup of tea. an MFM threesome is often not as fun for the male half of the couple, and plenty of men start swinging with a "one penis policy" seeking FMF only. 3. Women's reluctance to meet and fuck random men is primarily motivated by the fear of sexual violence. Not's not just coming from women, our male partners also would not feel comfortable with us meeting a strange man in a hotel room. How can we really be calling people "selective" and "queen bee's" when you are navigating a genuine fear of assault? That doesn't sound very matriarchal to me. 4. Women's bodily autonomy is a fundamental right. not a weapon. I am here for my own enjoyment and pleasure. I cannot be compelled to have sex with someone I don't want to. No matter now nice, or polite someone is, They are not being "denied" anything because they were never owed sexual access in the first place. If you feel like women are denying you something, that speaks to a fundamental place of sexual entitlement. Male sexual entitlement is not exactly a matriarchy. Basically - if we want to fuck you we will, If we don't want to there is nothing wrong with that. To describe that as "control" over you, or something that makes you her drone - is wrong. It means you don't see women as autonomous sexual beings with our own right to pleasure and genuine desire. but instead as manipulative beings whose sex lives revolve around making certain bargains with men as a means of control. There is this very traditional view that men have a right to a varied and active sex life, and that male virility is a defining trait of masculinity. Individuals women's pleasures, desires - and sense of safety - don't always align with his. So as such we're seen as getting in the way of something a man is supposed to achieve. Just because women experience casual sex different to men, does not mean we are wrong, or need to change ourselves to better suit men. Even on a swinging site where we're all supposed to be these sophisticated, sexually empowered people, There is a lot of bitterness. There is no sexual empowerment, if a woman is not empowered to say no when she wants to. There are just too many men on here, and not enough women - because as well all know: Women have significantly less reasons to meet random sex for men. Less safety, more risk, we are more vulnerable, e have less potential for physical pleasure, less chance of being treated well by those men. it's not that we're all cold hearted bitches picking only the most wealthy, muscly men - it's that most of the time we'd rather stay home with a vibrator if we're horny. because navigating all this as a single women kind of sucks. I have nothing but support for the single woman who have managed to find their place in all this and find great guys to have a FwBs situation with. I honestly think they deserve it. " In fairness I question a male partner who doesn't enjoy a mfm with his lady. Definitely a level of insecurity from the male half. | |||
| |||
| |||
"While there is a perception that women rule the roost around here, and in some situations, that is true (pussy privilege is real, no more so than on the forum), single women are also in the most precarious position. We have honed our danger radars, most of us know what it feels like to be in an uncomfortable or even dangerous position and we have developed thick skin. We are having more fun on here than a significant portion of single males but we’ve also put a lot more effort into having fun. The single guys who put the effort in and prove that they are decent humans are having as much fun as we are and hold as much power. If you see yourself as a “drone” I would take a look at the value being on fab holds for you. Why would you be beholden to anyone on here? Being a drone suggests that you would do anything for a bit of attention from a woman and, quite frankly, that’s not attractive. " And that's exactly why the female half of a couple holds all the cards on here | |||
"A matriarchal society would not have tens of thousands of creeps, weirdos and downright stupid blokes acting the misogynist 90% of the time So no, fab is not matriarchal. It is a product of the converse in fact. Point in case yesterday, some ‘couple’ pestering me with messages and the abuse I got from the guy when I asked why he wasn’t verified. That’s a flavour of patriarchy and male entitlement" That is an excellent point, if this truly was a matriarchal society, there would be a lot less misogynistic and creepy men. | |||
| |||
"While there is a perception that women rule the roost around here, and in some situations, that is true (pussy privilege is real, no more so than on the forum), single women are also in the most precarious position. We have honed our danger radars, most of us know what it feels like to be in an uncomfortable or even dangerous position and we have developed thick skin. We are having more fun on here than a significant portion of single males but we’ve also put a lot more effort into having fun. The single guys who put the effort in and prove that they are decent humans are having as much fun as we are and hold as much power. If you see yourself as a “drone” I would take a look at the value being on fab holds for you. Why would you be beholden to anyone on here? Being a drone suggests that you would do anything for a bit of attention from a woman and, quite frankly, that’s not attractive. And that's exactly why the female half of a couple holds all the cards on here "No one holds all the cards on here. If you have no interest in couples, then couples have no influence on your “journey” on here. | |||
| |||
"While there is a perception that women rule the roost around here, and in some situations, that is true (pussy privilege is real, no more so than on the forum), single women are also in the most precarious position. We have honed our danger radars, most of us know what it feels like to be in an uncomfortable or even dangerous position and we have developed thick skin. We are having more fun on here than a significant portion of single males but we’ve also put a lot more effort into having fun. The single guys who put the effort in and prove that they are decent humans are having as much fun as we are and hold as much power. If you see yourself as a “drone” I would take a look at the value being on fab holds for you. Why would you be beholden to anyone on here? Being a drone suggests that you would do anything for a bit of attention from a woman and, quite frankly, that’s not attractive. And that's exactly why the female half of a couple holds all the cards on here
No one holds all the cards on here. If you have no interest in couples, then couples have no influence on your “journey” on here. "Well put Jaffa | |||
