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Women who make the first move
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When I used to have a profile on dating sites I found it no bother making th first move.
Here for some reason I've never sent a first message. Can't explain why, but it just doesn't seem like the done thing? |
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After nearly a yr of admiring someone from afar I took the bull by the horns and gave the person I had been admiring a Christmas card with a little message in it asking if they would like to go for a coffee sometime and my phone number we are meeting for a walk and a coffee tomorrow to be continued!!!! |
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I've sent the first message so many times to men and couples here even unverified profiles if they interest me. Why shouldn't women make the first move! I'm also fine with rejection if they don't reply I don't feel need to start a thread about it..... |
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"When I used to have a profile on dating sites I found it no bother making th first move.
Here for some reason I've never sent a first message. Can't explain why, but it just doesn't seem like the done thing?"
Would it be because on here women are flooded with messages that you'd never get the chance to make the first move |
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"When I used to have a profile on dating sites I found it no bother making th first move.
Here for some reason I've never sent a first message. Can't explain why, but it just doesn't seem like the done thing?
Would it be because on here women are flooded with messages that you'd never get the chance to make the first move"
I must be the only lady on fab who isn't being bombarded with messages!
So to answer your question...no! |
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"After nearly a yr of admiring someone from afar I took the bull by the horns and gave the person I had been admiring a Christmas card with a little message in it asking if they would like to go for a coffee sometime and my phone number we are meeting for a walk and a coffee tomorrow to be continued!!!!"
Absolutely love this!! Huge luck with your date tomorrow. It's true we are in control of our own destiny. |
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"When I used to have a profile on dating sites I found it no bother making th first move.
Here for some reason I've never sent a first message. Can't explain why, but it just doesn't seem like the done thing?
Would it be because on here women are flooded with messages that you'd never get the chance to make the first move
I must be the only lady on fab who isn't being bombarded with messages!
So to answer your question...no!"
I'm guessing that's about to change for you now lol, hopefully not by weirdos though
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By *s LollyWoman 47 weeks ago
The pub then supermacs ... |
On here i make the first move all the time, if a profile catches may eye or if we'd had some interaction on here ill read there bio then send a message, if i find the chat going well id suggest a coffee or lunch if that's not possible due to distance and im travelling and happen to be in there area ill invite them to my hotel instead but we would be chatting a few weeks for that to happen  |
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"When I used to have a profile on dating sites I found it no bother making th first move.
Here for some reason I've never sent a first message. Can't explain why, but it just doesn't seem like the done thing?
Would it be because on here women are flooded with messages that you'd never get the chance to make the first move
I must be the only lady on fab who isn't being bombarded with messages!
So to answer your question...no!
I'm guessing that's about to change for you now lol, hopefully not by weirdos though
"
You reckon? Wasn't my intention but if it's the upshot turn sure happy days!! Lol |
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"I've sent the first message so many times to men and couples here even unverified profiles if they interest me. Why shouldn't women make the first move! I'm also fine with rejection if they don't reply I don't feel need to start a thread about it....."
Ah Rosie. I'm stilling waiting for you to make the first move.  |
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By *ustBoWoman 47 weeks ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
Yes I have made the first move on here and in real life. I don't have an issue making the first move especially on here if a profile catches my eye when I meeting new people.In fact I would prefer to search myself than rely on messages and it's why I keep my filters so tight. |
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"I've sent the first message so many times to men and couples here even unverified profiles if they interest me. Why shouldn't women make the first move! I'm also fine with rejection if they don't reply I don't feel need to start a thread about it.....
Ah Rosie. I'm stilling waiting for you to make the first move. "
Did you not get the pigeon mail I sent to Dubai |
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I volunteer in a hospice shop. Cute guy there so I took the liberty of giving him my card (!) with my number on it asking him to take me for a drink. He messaged lots that night and we met in a car park to discuss and make plans. I was very excited but sadly nothing, absolutely nothing has happened other than continuous flirtation and promises ever since. Maybe for the best. Too close a situation. |
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By *og-ManMan 47 weeks ago
somewhere |
"After nearly a yr of admiring someone from afar I took the bull by the horns and gave the person I had been admiring a Christmas card with a little message in it asking if they would like to go for a coffee sometime and my phone number we are meeting for a walk and a coffee tomorrow to be continued!!!!"
Is this the fella from the coffee shop ....think you wrote about him in the past |
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"I've sent the first message so many times to men and couples here even unverified profiles if they interest me. Why shouldn't women make the first move! I'm also fine with rejection if they don't reply I don't feel need to start a thread about it.....
Ah Rosie. I'm stilling waiting for you to make the first move.
Did you not get the pigeon mail I sent to Dubai "
I did have a dead pigeon on my balcony.
That explains it so!! |
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Must admit I do thoroughly enjoy logging in to find a message thread initiated by a woman.
Just something about it gives me a little thrill and lets me know that the initial interest is there.
So any of you lovely ladies out there who take a look please do send that first message! May lead to some exciting times for us both.
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I work on the basis that most women now are getting 100s of messages a day and I’m not sure if mine will stand out from the crowd, unless we’ve hit it off on the forums or chatrooms. So I rarely initiate a conversation now, unless I think I’m exactly what she might be looking for. Happy to work on the basis that if the woman notices me and messages first, it’s more likely to gig somewhere. |
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By *s LollyWoman 47 weeks ago
The pub then supermacs ... |
I don't get many messages because my filters are set as tight as a ducks ass, i don't look at winks or who @looked at me, some people are shy or nervous or just can't make that first approach that was me year's ago now i don't give a fuck if they reply good and well, if not so be it nothing ventured nothing gained |
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By (user no longer on site) 47 weeks ago
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I am fond of making the first move... but it tends to be spontaneous nights we decide to bring someone in for a play. I absolutely love love when lads suggest coffee it really doesn't happen that often ! |
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I wasn't long single..I had moved to the west...I was enjoying going out..having a few drinks..meeting people..flirting...
I had been chatting with a guy for most of the night...we clicked well... I wrote my address down ( I know...it was 15 years ago)..as I handed the piece of paper to him.
I said, ' I'll be there in 15 minutes....make sure you are there in 20'. He arrived right on time. We barely made it to the living room, clothes were falling in the hall....
A great memory for me taking the initiative. |
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I think most of my life I've been so oblivious that people might be attracted to me that a lot of my partner's made the first move. Some out of exasperation lol
I still like to take things relatively slowly and I really do enjoy a woman with the confidence to say what's on her mind
I was at a social this year and never made it to my room because a woman I'd been chatting simply told me 'You're coming with me'.
On fab I send very very few opening messages for obvious reasons so unless someone messages me there's a good chance we won't chat unless it's at a social event. Which I do attend
That's a long way of saying:
Get in touch. I'm cute and have a great smile  |
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I got fed up hearing… I didn’t think you were interested! I prefer a NO than a missed opportunity.
So I have made the first move a lot this year as a way to get out of my shell and fight my shyness with regards to chatting men up!
I’m a great party organiser and good at getting people together but crap at 1:1 flirting and closing the deal for myself lol
Anyway, rejection is not easy but making the first move is great to develop a thick skin and a couldn’t care less attitude… nothing ventured nothing gained!
My shyness has much improved as a result.
Mrs |
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By *dfabMan 47 weeks ago
Dunboyne |
"Ahem.... "
No, I've checked.
You've never winked/mailed me and I'm outside your age range, so must be something else further up the Ahem was for? Or the fact I'm married perhaps, as clearly stated in profile?
Ho hum, merrily on my way
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By (user no longer on site) 47 weeks ago
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"I've sent the first message so many times to men and couples here even unverified profiles if they interest me. Why shouldn't women make the first move! I'm also fine with rejection if they don't reply I don't feel need to start a thread about it....."
Yeah, why not? I like it when you woman makes the first move. But most times it’s me |
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I absolutely would ... but only if I'm getting fairly obvious vibes of interest on their side. Most guys are pretty easy to read but i'd never make the move on these guys, even if I was initially attracted:
1. The cool, difficult to read Alphas. I'm probably not interested anyway.
2. The guys who are interested but are also flirting with half the room. I leave them to their scattergun approach.
3. Those very obviously interested in someone else. I have no desire to compete for their attentions and quickly lose interest.
We usually have good reasons for not making the first move!
Mrs  |
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"I got fed up hearing… I didn’t think you were interested! I prefer a NO than a missed opportunity.
So I have made the first move a lot this year as a way to get out of my shell and fight my shyness with regards to chatting men up!
I’m a great party organiser and good at getting people together but crap at 1:1 flirting and closing the deal for myself lol
Anyway, rejection is not easy but making the first move is great to develop a thick skin and a couldn’t care less attitude… nothing ventured nothing gained!
My shyness has much improved as a result.
Mrs "
Well good for you C. I'm getting a bit better too xx |
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By *andytownMan 47 weeks ago
Gods Own Country |
"Inspired by the lounge
Please post if you’re a woman who has made the first move here or outside fab and perhaps give us as much detail as you feel comfortable with "
Aye but did they use their indicators first  #ducks |
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"I got fed up hearing… I didn’t think you were interested! I prefer a NO than a missed opportunity.
So I have made the first move a lot this year as a way to get out of my shell and fight my shyness with regards to chatting men up!
I’m a great party organiser and good at getting people together but crap at 1:1 flirting and closing the deal for myself lol
Anyway, rejection is not easy but making the first move is great to develop a thick skin and a couldn’t care less attitude… nothing ventured nothing gained!
My shyness has much improved as a result.
Mrs
Well good for you C. I'm getting a bit better too xx"
Unfortunately I’ve had way more rejection than success  but maybe I have the wrong approach  |
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"I absolutely would ... but only if I'm getting fairly obvious vibes of interest on their side. Most guys are pretty easy to read but i'd never make the move on these guys, even if I was initially attracted:
1. The cool, difficult to read Alphas. I'm probably not interested anyway.
2. The guys who are interested but are also flirting with half the room. I leave them to their scattergun approach.
3. Those very obviously interested in someone else. I have no desire to compete for their attentions and quickly lose interest.
We usually have good reasons for not making the first move!
Mrs "
I like it… I think that’s where I’ve been going wrong 
I might make your approach mine   
I’ll let you know how I get on |
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"I volunteer in a hospice shop. Cute guy there so I took the liberty of giving him my card (!) with my number on it asking him to take me for a drink. He messaged lots that night and we met in a car park to discuss and make plans. I was very excited but sadly nothing, absolutely nothing has happened other than continuous flirtation and promises ever since. Maybe for the best. Too close a situation. "
Most certainly his loss |
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Always found a married work colleague attractive but obv never did anything about it - work married to many complicated - or so I thought - one summers evening walked to my car after work - stuck under the drivers door her business card , with ring me at 7pm - I did, we txt a bit, then she asked me to join her on a walk! Intrigued, I joined her, we have been lovers for past 4 yrs !! |
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"I've sent the first message so many times to men and couples here even unverified profiles if they interest me. Why shouldn't women make the first move! I'm also fine with rejection if they don't reply I don't feel need to start a thread about it....."
Fair play - great attitude |
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By *asual777 OP Man 47 weeks ago
i travel all over |
"I've sent the first message so many times to men and couples here even unverified profiles if they interest me. Why shouldn't women make the first move! I'm also fine with rejection if they don't reply I don't feel need to start a thread about it....."
I ve started threads about less important things tbf |
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By *dfabMan 47 weeks ago
Dunboyne |
Just a tip for the ladies making the first move.
Don't be subtle!
Us lads can be thick as shit sometimes and won't recognise a "hint".
Things above like the card in the car window are the direct approach we understand 
You leaving your knickers in our office drawer just makes us think you fucked on our desk, not you want to specifically fuck us.
Only clarifying for those hinters who wonder why we never reacted to your message, which didn't clearly state you'd be interested in meeting for more than coffee, though that's the reason for coffee.
I know folks!
My drawer in work tomorrow is going to look like an Anne Sommers grab bag |
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"Just a tip for the ladies making the first move.
Don't be subtle!
Us lads can be thick as shit sometimes and won't recognise a "hint".
Things above like the card in the car window are the direct approach we understand
You leaving your knickers in our office drawer just makes us think you fucked on our desk, not you want to specifically fuck us.
Only clarifying for those hinters who wonder why we never reacted to your message, which didn't clearly state you'd be interested in meeting for more than coffee, though that's the reason for coffee.
I know folks!
My drawer in work tomorrow is going to look like an Anne Sommers grab bag "
Alpha Males Alpha female’s Alpha people our out in 2024 |
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"I absolutely would ... but only if I'm getting fairly obvious vibes of interest on their side. Most guys are pretty easy to read but i'd never make the move on these guys, even if I was initially attracted:
1. The cool, difficult to read Alphas. I'm probably not interested anyway.
2. The guys who are interested but are also flirting with half the room. I leave them to their scattergun approach.
3. Those very obviously interested in someone else. I have no desire to compete for their attentions and quickly lose interest.
We usually have good reasons for not making the first move!
Mrs
I like it… I think that’s where I’ve been going wrong
I might make your approach mine
I’ll let you know how I get on "
Yep!! Thats good!! I've made the initial move many times...rejection is a huge part...
It's a vicious circle...wanting to be everyone's cup of tea...knowing not everyone will be yours... |
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"I absolutely would ... but only if I'm getting fairly obvious vibes of interest on their side. Most guys are pretty easy to read but i'd never make the move on these guys, even if I was initially attracted:
1. The cool, difficult to read Alphas. I'm probably not interested anyway.
2. The guys who are interested but are also flirting with half the room. I leave them to their scattergun approach.
3. Those very obviously interested in someone else. I have no desire to compete for their attentions and quickly lose interest.
We usually have good reasons for not making the first move!
Mrs
I like it… I think that’s where I’ve been going wrong
I might make your approach mine
I’ll let you know how I get on
Yep!! Thats good!! I've made the initial move many times...rejection is a huge part...
It's a vicious circle...wanting to be everyone's cup of tea...knowing not everyone will be yours..."
I’ll be happy with being just 2 or 3 men’s cup of tea… I don’t need quantity |
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I'm quite comfortable making the first move but it's also nice to have the move made on you first. I was asked out on a date in person the other day, in daylight at a car garage. I was so stunned I didn't quite know what to say as he handed me his phone number, not his snap chat or Kik, an actual number and a cheeky smile as he said 'I saw you on a dating app, you're much hotter than your pics, can I take you for a drink on Wednesday, text me'. I honestly had the biggest smile for ages after and have ever since we've been texting. So men, shoot your shot in real life too, you'll have brownie points before you're even out the gap! |
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I don't think I have had a first message from a woman on this lol.Its funny as I had a similar conversation yesterday with an ex who turns out is now on here,and she didn't understand why my inbox is as empty as the Sahara. |
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I have not got a woman making the first move here
I not a fan of it honestly there always thought in my head that make me think “oh you not chance why try, she won't say won't reply to you" I put way way to much pressure on my self to make it interesting or smart or funny ha |
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I have often winked or messaged a guy first on fab...I'd certainly find it easier here than in "real life". On fab it's easy to find a comment on a thread or something in a photo or profile to comment on. Especially threads like this....
Only thing that puts me off is when they are too far away
Mrs S |
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I have winked and messaged men first before on here. Surely there shouldn’t be a stigma wait till the man messages first, even in “real life”.
Only that in real life they chicken out after a while and ghost you |
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By (user no longer on site) 39 weeks ago
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Woman have made the first move here usually by sending a wink, not often but a few times. In the real world I have not had a woman make the first move. The only caveat is I can be a bit clueless and have confused someone as being friendly when in fact they were flirting. I reckon it should be a class in school how to tell the difference between friendliness and flirtation |
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I'm on the fence here. Im not sure if men genuinely like a woman to make the first move. Anyone I've reached out to on fab, the conversation goes drier than a breadstick quickly. I end up feeling all predatory n shit. |
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"I'm on the fence here. I'm not sure if men genuinely like a woman to make the first move. Anyone I've reached out to on fab, the conversation goes drier than a breadstick quickly. I end up feeling all predatory n shit. "
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I'm not so sure...
Aside from reciprocal messages between Fab friends and forum-dwellers on here, I've only sent a handful of 'first contact' messages in the last 2½ years. All of my socials, interactions and meets have been on the back of women sending the first message. |
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"I'm on the fence here. I'm not sure if men genuinely like a woman to make the first move. Anyone I've reached out to on fab, the conversation goes drier than a breadstick quickly. I end up feeling all predatory n shit.
•
I'm not so sure...
Aside from reciprocal messages between Fab friends and forum-dwellers on here, I've only sent a handful of 'first contact' messages in the last 2½ years. All of my socials, interactions and meets have been on the back of women sending the first message."
That's great that you're having that kind of success. I'm not so sure if it's the norm on fab though. Do you think you're in the minority? Love to hear from other men that are taking a back seat approach and enjoying being chased with great end results.
Maybe I'll have to fine tune and work harder on my communication skills. |
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"I'm on the fence here. I'm not sure if men genuinely like a woman to make the first move. Anyone I've reached out to on fab, the conversation goes drier than a breadstick quickly. I end up feeling all predatory n shit.
•
I'm not so sure...
Aside from reciprocal messages between Fab friends and forum-dwellers on here, I've only sent a handful of 'first contact' messages in the last 2½ years. All of my socials, interactions and meets have been on the back of women sending the first message.
That's great that you're having that kind of success. I'm not so sure if it's the norm on fab though. Do you think you're in the minority? Love to hear from other men that are taking a back seat approach and enjoying being chased with great end results.
Maybe I'll have to fine tune and work harder on my communication skills. "
I send very few messages out and tend towards the If you build it they will come approach. A lot of the time I'll make connections through the forum and these days it's more likely to be a social event.
I get a few messages every now and then and I think people do feel comfortable to get in touch and that has been nice. |
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"I've made the first move before and it definitely paid off.
Of course it did.....
Ive also been left on read and thats ok too, it's not that deep. "
Why would anyone leave you on read there mistake and loss, a very silly person in our view |
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I make the first move with single guys plenty as when I’m looking a Hotwife date it’s always last minute and looking some cock that day. Often find however this upsets the power balance and has men intimidated that don’t show up.
Girls like unplanned sex too you know lol |
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"I'm on the fence here. I'm not sure if men genuinely like a woman to make the first move. Anyone I've reached out to on fab, the conversation goes drier than a breadstick quickly. I end up feeling all predatory n shit.
•
I'm not so sure...
Aside from reciprocal messages between Fab friends and forum-dwellers on here, I've only sent a handful of 'first contact' messages in the last 2½ years. All of my socials, interactions and meets have been on the back of women sending the first message."
Forum-dwellers haha Are we like the barflies of the site,
Chatting away with whoever's around lol?!! |
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By (user no longer on site) 39 weeks ago
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"Why would anyone leave you on read there mistake and loss, a very silly person in our view"
Aww thank you! Sure we all have different types both here and off fab, so I wouldnt be upset or offended if someone wasn't interested in me. |
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By *ndqtMan 39 weeks ago
The Wild West |
Like some have already said, its wonderful when a woman makes the initial contact.
I go along with the view that most women on here are flooded with all sorts of weird and wonderful messages.
So lately I'm of the oponion that if I catch someones eye, then they will let me know with a wink or a first message. Which is great when it happens... albeit very infrequently... |
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I've spent the last five years in the Nordics and here, it's perfectly normal for the ladies to take the first steps.
Actually it's really lovely to get nice messages from new matches.
Glad that folks feel it's fun to simply take the initiative |
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By *ACOLCouple 39 weeks ago
limerick |
Personally I prefer making the first move on FAB but at events I get so shy, and hubby generally flourishes like the social butterfly that he is.
Maybe I am just a keyboard warrior.
Lina. |
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