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Does a threesome mean mandatory bi play
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Here's one, was offered to join a threesome from a MF couple, no mention of bi required to the lead up until I said accepted, when I was asked how do I feel about bi play. Said I've thought about a MF couple sucking me together, would t want to try solo sucking male or I do anything towards the man etc. was labelled boring and a time waster as a threesome means you have to suck another man's dick, he won't suck yours, you have to suck his. So I was therefore a bullshitter, time waster and a boring man who lives in the 1950's.
I know couples set rules for their threesome, that's fair, but this lad claimed this was what a threesome in general is, it must have bi play where the third party must suck and play with cock, not just purely their own preference.
Anyone experience this paradoxical behaviour? |
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By *aid backMan 28 weeks ago
by a lake with my rod out |
I've never understood the idea of the couple set the rules for a threesome ? Yes it might be easier for a cpl to set up one only needing 1 extra person but they definitely don't set the rules. So let's stop that train of thought from gaining traction.
As for your particular situation tell them to get to fuck that threesomes are supposed to be mutual fun not just their fun it's that simple. I'm sure there are loads of cpls that would have a similar idea as yourself about a fun threesome. |
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"Here's one, was offered to join a threesome from a MF couple, no mention of bi required to the lead up until I said accepted, when I was asked how do I feel about bi play. Said I've thought about a MF couple sucking me together, would t want to try solo sucking male or I do anything towards the man etc. was labelled boring and a time waster as a threesome means you have to suck another man's dick, he won't suck yours, you have to suck his. So I was therefore a bullshitter, time waster and a boring man who lives in the 1950's.
I know couples set rules for their threesome, that's fair, but this lad claimed this was what a threesome in general is, it must have bi play where the third party must suck and play with cock, not just purely their own preference.
Anyone experience this paradoxical behaviour?"
No we've had mfm threesomes with no bi-play. I wouldnt have thought its generally expected unless stated beforehand. We would however check that the person was comfortable with close contact/ crossing swords etc before going ahead.
That couple sound like a real catch, Run.....  |
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"Here's one, was offered to join a threesome from a MF couple, no mention of bi required to the lead up until I said accepted, when I was asked how do I feel about bi play. Said I've thought about a MF couple sucking me together, would t want to try solo sucking male or I do anything towards the man etc. was labelled boring and a time waster as a threesome means you have to suck another man's dick, he won't suck yours, you have to suck his. So I was therefore a bullshitter, time waster and a boring man who lives in the 1950's.
I know couples set rules for their threesome, that's fair, but this lad claimed this was what a threesome in general is, it must have bi play where the third party must suck and play with cock, not just purely their own preference.
Anyone experience this paradoxical behaviour?"
The guy you were chatting with sounds delightful 
At least you discussed boundaries before you got to the bedroom. Imagine you being there in your birthday suit when his little fantasy is suggested!
The couple doesn't set all the rules, you need your own list of boundaries to set out in advance.
Were they well verified? Did you have a coffee social in advance? Did the lady even exist? You need to do your due diligence in order to protect yourself. Good luck. Mrs  |
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"Here's one, was offered to join a threesome from a MF couple, no mention of bi required to the lead up until I said accepted, when I was asked how do I feel about bi play. Said I've thought about a MF couple sucking me together, would t want to try solo sucking male or I do anything towards the man etc. was labelled boring and a time waster as a threesome means you have to suck another man's dick, he won't suck yours, you have to suck his. So I was therefore a bullshitter, time waster and a boring man who lives in the 1950's.
I know couples set rules for their threesome, that's fair, but this lad claimed this was what a threesome in general is, it must have bi play where the third party must suck and play with cock, not just purely their own preference.
Anyone experience this paradoxical behaviour?
No we've had mfm threesomes with no bi-play. I wouldnt have thought its generally expected unless stated beforehand. We would however check that the person was comfortable with close contact/ crossing swords etc before going ahead.
That couple sound like a real catch, Run..... "
I was thinking the same seeing as when I stated what I'd like/I'd do and the male replied he wanted the same yet he called me boring /time waster afterwards. Doesn't really make sense calling someone with the same fantasy as you boring....
Exactly, lay it out "are you open to X,Y,Z etc" so everyone is on board with what is looking to be done.
Seems like a dodged a bullet really  |
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By (user no longer on site) 28 weeks ago
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"Here's one, was offered to join a threesome from a MF couple, no mention of bi required to the lead up until I said accepted, when I was asked how do I feel about bi play. Said I've thought about a MF couple sucking me together, would t want to try solo sucking male or I do anything towards the man etc. was labelled boring and a time waster as a threesome means you have to suck another man's dick, he won't suck yours, you have to suck his. So I was therefore a bullshitter, time waster and a boring man who lives in the 1950's.
I know couples set rules for their threesome, that's fair, but this lad claimed this was what a threesome in general is, it must have bi play where the third party must suck and play with cock, not just purely their own preference.
Anyone experience this paradoxical behaviour?"
That’s shocking and completely disrespectful towards you.
Part of any sexual activity it’s absolutely essential you have your boundaries.
Everyone has their boundaries and good healthy communication needs to be established and flowing before the meet.
Tbh I think you had a very lucky escape there.
Any individual/couple who is actually serious about playing and enjoys the lifestyle for what it is would not behave that way at all. |
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"Just go with the flow as long as everyone enjoys and respects each other’s boundaries."
Go with the flow was either get down and suck his dick or fuck off. So no to that flow, sounded like they would be more hassle than fun |
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"Here's one, was offered to join a threesome from a MF couple, no mention of bi required to the lead up until I said accepted, when I was asked how do I feel about bi play. Said I've thought about a MF couple sucking me together, would t want to try solo sucking male or I do anything towards the man etc. was labelled boring and a time waster as a threesome means you have to suck another man's dick, he won't suck yours, you have to suck his. So I was therefore a bullshitter, time waster and a boring man who lives in the 1950's.
I know couples set rules for their threesome, that's fair, but this lad claimed this was what a threesome in general is, it must have bi play where the third party must suck and play with cock, not just purely their own preference.
Anyone experience this paradoxical behaviour?
That’s shocking and completely disrespectful towards you.
Part of any sexual activity it’s absolutely essential you have your boundaries.
Everyone has their boundaries and good healthy communication needs to be established and flowing before the meet.
Tbh I think you had a very lucky escape there.
Any individual/couple who is actually serious about playing and enjoys the lifestyle for what it is would not behave that way at all."
Exactly, all the more reason why I was confused by the end of it. Had the same ideas the male wanted but get ridiculed and labeled boring and backwards thinking, despite having the same interest as the male individual of the couple. Utter madhouse |
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"Just go with the flow as long as everyone enjoys and respects each other’s boundaries.
Go with the flow was either get down and suck his dick or fuck off. So no to that flow, sounded like they would be more hassle than fun"
that’s not going with the flow that’s been told do as we say |
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"Here's one, was offered to join a threesome from a MF couple, no mention of bi required to the lead up until I said accepted, when I was asked how do I feel about bi play. Said I've thought about a MF couple sucking me together, would t want to try solo sucking male or I do anything towards the man etc. was labelled boring and a time waster as a threesome means you have to suck another man's dick, he won't suck yours, you have to suck his. So I was therefore a bullshitter, time waster and a boring man who lives in the 1950's.
I know couples set rules for their threesome, that's fair, but this lad claimed this was what a threesome in general is, it must have bi play where the third party must suck and play with cock, not just purely their own preference.
Anyone experience this paradoxical behaviour?
The guy you were chatting with sounds delightful
At least you discussed boundaries before you got to the bedroom. Imagine you being there in your birthday suit when his little fantasy is suggested!
The couple doesn't set all the rules, you need your own list of boundaries to set out in advance.
Were they well verified? Did you have a coffee social in advance? Did the lady even exist? You need to do your due diligence in order to protect yourself. Good luck. Mrs "
They have a few veris, at this stage we were just talking about the scenario. We hadn't made any plans or dates yet but I laid out what my interests were as they were both bi, I know for a lot of bi lads they want to be sucked in a threesome so that's why when I do talk to a couple with a bi lad I try let them know asap that i wouldn't be doing any fondling with the lad if that's what they want rather than a couple sucking a cock together or just want a third participant.I would have tried a social first to vibe it out/see if there's chemistry once we meet in person. |
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"Just go with the flow as long as everyone enjoys and respects each other’s boundaries.
Go with the flow was either get down and suck his dick or fuck off. So no to that flow, sounded like they would be more hassle than funthat’s not going with the flow that’s been told do as we say "
Which is why I dropped them like a lead balloon, "Good luck and fuck ya"  |
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"At any point did you ever speak to the woman of the outfit"
The conversation started and finished in the space of 2 hours, so always the chance the lady was at work/busy rather than not existing as they have a few veris. Not an ideal start to a potential meet up which is why I'd boarded a train and booking a ferry to get as much distance between us |
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By *og-ManMan 28 weeks ago
somewhere |
Sorry deleted my last post as I didn't understand that they have both got bi on their profile as I don't think you explained that in the opening post
Surely then in that case they were right to be open and honest with you ,discussed boundaries and it didn't work out or get past the discussion stage like a lot of planning on here
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"I know couples set rules for their threesome, that's fair,"
Not true. On all meets, everybody should say beforehand what their no-nos are. E.g. , we always state before hand that pee etc, and pain will not happen, anal highly unlikely but up to Sasha.
But if anyone said to me, either before a meet or during, "I don't like that", then I would suggest something else and move on.
For us, everybody has to enjoy for us to enjoy. |
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A threesome does not mean mandatory bi play. As for couples setting the rules I would say no. The most important thing is for everyone to be comfortable and to respect limits of everyone involved. |
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""I know couples set rules for their threesome, that's fair,"
Not true. On all meets, everybody should say beforehand what their no-nos are. E.g. , we always state before hand that pee etc, and pain will not happen, anal highly unlikely but up to Sasha.
But if anyone said to me, either before a meet or during, "I don't like that", then I would suggest something else and move on.
For us, everybody has to enjoy for us to enjoy."
Normally I would have thought the same but it's just a lot of times I've spoken with couples on here, that contemplated a meet up with myself, they seem to have a "my way or the highway" attitude, if you don't like X part of the threesome than we'll meet another lad instead . Good to see there more couples with common sense and equality here in the forums. |
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"A threesome does not mean mandatory bi play. As for couples setting the rules I would say no. The most important thing is for everyone to be comfortable and to respect limits of everyone involved. "
I would think that's normal across the board too but most of my talks with couples on here about a potential threesome have been a one way street, if there's something I don't like in the threesome, then I'm told "we'll find another lad". Very little consideration but for all the other couples I've just had conversations with, lovely considerate folk. Just a strange experience to deal with |
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By *rRiosMan 28 weeks ago
dublin |
If you substitute the word “rules” with “boundaries” this all makes perfect sense. The only thing that is off is how the couple responded.
Couples DO set the boundaries, but singles also set their boundaries. In this case, the boundaries didn’t match up. Nothing really to see here. But it seems that the couple were disrespectful to your boundaries… as others have said, maybe dodged a bullet.
Just to add a qualifier, there is at least two sides to every story but based on this, chalk it down to a lucky escape… |
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"If you substitute the word “rules” with “boundaries” this all makes perfect sense. The only thing that is off is how the couple responded.
Couples DO set the boundaries, but singles also set their boundaries. In this case, the boundaries didn’t match up. Nothing really to see here. But it seems that the couple were disrespectful to your boundaries… as others have said, maybe dodged a bullet.
Just to add a qualifier, there is at least two sides to every story but based on this, chalk it down to a lucky escape… "
You make it sound like I'm very bias at the end of your statement. Comes across as very suspicious me thinks |
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You'll get a bit of that. I've gotten messages from couples that are very cut and dry about what's going to happen with no room for discussion or interest in what I might like to say about it.
Some couples just want a capable body to fulfil their fantasy and there are enough willing guys out there that they don't have to waste time negotiating.
Of course that's no excuse for disparaging someone for not fitting the bill.
Fortunately there are lots of really nice couples on fab too so don't be disheartened. |
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"If you substitute the word “rules” with “boundaries” this all makes perfect sense. The only thing that is off is how the couple responded.
Couples DO set the boundaries, but singles also set their boundaries. In this case, the boundaries didn’t match up. Nothing really to see here. But it seems that the couple were disrespectful to your boundaries… as others have said, maybe dodged a bullet.
Just to add a qualifier, there is at least two sides to every story but based on this, chalk it down to a lucky escape… "
I'd agree with this.
When I was part of a bi couple, if we were setting up meet and the guy wasn't into the things we were then we wouldn't meet him - and vice versa. That wasn't us setting the rules, it's just a case of incompatibility. In this case you weren't compatible with this couple. However they definitely could have communicated that better |
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Having preferences and looking for what you want on a meet is for everyone attending not just a couple. It's ok to have something you won't meet without. It's ok to refuse a meet that doesn't meet your requirements. |
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Personally I think it’s just a “get outta jail free card”
Have had these conversations with “couples” before, when I was on previously, start off great, plans are made, everyone on the same hymn sheet, body pics exchanged etc, everyone is happy,
okay contact details/address, that’s when you know how it’s going to play out,
Wife/gf needs to see face pic to make sure there is attraction (fair enough) but won’t reciprocate
Then suddenly there are conditions and demands that haven’t been addressed previously, until it gets to the stage where it’s your fault not theirs that the meet is not happening.
Your the “time waster”
Classic reverse psychology, gives them the upper hand at all times if you try to call them out on it
But hey “chin up” loads of decent people on here and you will get what you’re looking for eventually
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My lady friend and I have had mfms with guys that are bi.
There was no issues with them as I told them that there would be no inaction with me as I'm straight.
Everything went well, apart from one guy watched me more than my lady friend when we were both wanking on my ladies boobs!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
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First of all it sounds like they don’t understand the difference between preferences, boundaries and rules.
Just to play devils advocate though in an ffm context I don’t think it would be considered by many to be a proper threesome if there wasn’t ff play. The expectation is there that the girls play even if it’s just kissing and boob play.
I’ve been in a situation where the guy tried to force his female partner to have a threesome with me and I had to call it out - it wasn’t happening unless she was fully into it end of. Bottom line consent and communication is key - your boundaries are yours alone and no one person gets to set the agenda for how group play of any kind should/shouldn’t go down. |
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"First of all it sounds like they don’t understand the difference between preferences, boundaries and rules.
Just to play devils advocate though in an ffm context I don’t think it would be considered by many to be a proper threesome if there wasn’t ff play. The expectation is there that the girls play even if it’s just kissing and boob play.
I’ve been in a situation where the guy tried to force his female partner to have a threesome with me and I had to call it out - it wasn’t happening unless she was fully into it end of. Bottom line consent and communication is key - your boundaries are yours alone and no one person gets to set the agenda for how group play of any kind should/shouldn’t go down. "
Exactly, if I'm going to be shown the level of respect I was giving them, feck them. Seemed like a dodgy one anyway |
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By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
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I remember trying to get into mfm, chatted with a lovely couple, had alot in common with them. Face pics swapped, interests all the same, plenty of flirting going on (mostly chatting with Mrs) had the hotel and date all set when I was asked about sucking dick and getting fucked in the ass, I at no point suggested I'd want anything like that. The reply I got is "if you're not bi you're no good to us".... unfortunately this is a theme with alot of couples lately, just makes it harder to interact on here outside of the forum |
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By *eijaWoman 27 weeks ago
City Centre |
OP that is definitely not the norm with couples in fact its usually the complete opposite! I myself love bi mmf's and they are very hard to arrange!
Firstly, the most important thing is YOU are comfortable. A 3some is about three people and everyone's pleasure...not just the couples!!
Lots of communication - look at their profile, see if both parties are bi or look at the people they have played with (usually a good indicator)
Ask questions and ask about boundaries.
Meet for a social - you definitely get a better feel for a couple in person...see their dynamic. There is no pressure to play after a social meet.
You should never feel uncomfitable what's the fun in that!!
Do your research..then when it comes to the 3some it's so much more fluid and a hell of a lot of fun
Best of luck!
B x |
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Iv had a threesome with a couple before he was bi.we knew where we stood and never did they ask me to play with him or did they chance his arm playing with me. It was a straight mmf but only it was 1 straight m and a bi M and it didn't bother me that he was bi and it didn't seem awkward in the slightest |
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