FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Is this the right place
Is this the right place
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By *cskinny OP Man 49 weeks ago
near you |
After a bit of time on here im starting to think this place isnt for me.
I dont think im the only man on here thinking this but it does start to make you wonder why waste my time.
Chatted to some lovely people. Had a great coffee meet for my verification. But thats about it.
Just message after message from men and thats not for me.
I do wonder how many people in this position begin to let it affect confidence and self-esteem.
I cant be good for the soul
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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There's ten times as many men to women, rejection is a guaranteed part of being on here. If you can't handle this type of daily emotional roller coaster without it seriously affecting your confidence then yeah this sadly prob isn't the place for you... |
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By *og-ManMan 49 weeks ago
somewhere |
Op .....get to a social....even just a coffee social if you can
It makes a huge difference when you can getting chatting to people face to face and being introduced to others with the same outlook as you about meeting
Its the best advice I could give anyone ...man or woman who isn't doing very well on here
Also get involved in the forums and get your name out there
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OP what exactly is impacting the confidence … male attention … or no female attention … the former can be handled by filters … for the later i would say its pretty much like the real world … when you walk into a pub do you expect all girls to just jump on you …if you dont expect it there dont do it here too… you already have had a coffee meet .. talk to people you never know the next person clicks… like you would do in a social circle |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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You're doing better than me op, at least you've got a verification  Don't delete the profile, just hide it.. have a break for a bit and come back when you're ready again. |
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Op simple answer is no do your head a favour and delete.If you think as I do why go to m&g,socials or party's when women don't chat on here plus always the same women on updates talking about them.The north point of view also the forum threads seem to be mostly men and couples of late,so they won't be much use to you lol. .mental health matters. |
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"The delusional land where 2s and 3s think they are 8s and 9s lol yup that fab!"
It almost doesn't matter when there is a shortage of one sex then their value increases. Supply and demand. It doesnt mean they are delusional, it means they understand they have a bit more sway than in everyday life due to the demographics here. |
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In answer to the original poster, it's more difficult here for men than it is for women due to the unequal gender balance. You need to stand out and get involved in person. Whether that's worth the effort or not is up to you.
I've seen both sides here ascive been here as a single man and as couples... and it's like night and day. Having said that it's very possible to be successful here as an average looking man. You've been given good advice here as to how to make that happen. |
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"why go to m&g,socials or party's when women don't chat on here
Women don't chat on here because they prefer to meet guys at socials. I'm afraid your reasoning is a bit flawed."
Socials are certainly worth a try and can be very enjoyable but they may not always be the Nirvana that they are made out to be on here. The people that blank your messages on here are just as likely to blank you face to face when you attempt to interact with them in the more public setting of a social which may not do much for your self confidence. Many who attend socials are not overly confident themselves and tend to stick to their own group of friends to hide their own "social anxieties".
While fab may in many respects be a fantasy world it is still populated by humans and they will always behave as human nature dictates.
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"why go to m&g,socials or party's when women don't chat on here
Women don't chat on here because they prefer to meet guys at socials. I'm afraid your reasoning is a bit flawed.
Socials are certainly worth a try and can be very enjoyable but they may not always be the Nirvana that they are made out to be on here. The people that blank your messages on here are just as likely to blank you face to face when you attempt to interact with them in the more public setting of a social which may not do much for your self confidence. Many who attend socials are not overly confident themselves and tend to stick to their own group of friends to hide their own "social anxieties".
While fab may in many respects be a fantasy world it is still populated by humans and they will always behave as human nature dictates.
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I agree with you. What I'm saying is his reasoning for not going to socials is incorrect. Private messaging strangers is a total waste of time in many womens books because its impossible to gauge attraction and its so time consuming. 5 minutes chatting to someone at a social tells far more. |
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Sorials aren't nirvana, but they ARE an opportunity to show your face, body type, personality etc in person and allow you to meet a lot of people in one place. They are FAR better than messaging. Having said that if they don't fancy you then no amount of face to face will make any difference. |
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"After a bit of time on here im starting to think this place isnt for me.
I dont think im the only man on here thinking this but it does start to make you wonder why waste my time.
Chatted to some lovely people. Had a great coffee meet for my verification. But thats about it.
Just message after message from men and thats not for me.
I do wonder how many people in this position begin to let it affect confidence and self-esteem.
I cant be good for the soul
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There's a social coming up next week in Limerick if that interests you. |
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By *ustBoWoman 49 weeks ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
Like others have said it is more difficult for a man on here. But many do get on well here.
Messaging does work for some and not for others. It all depends on what the person you message is looking for. Having a good profile helps a lot. I haven't looked at yours OP so I don't know what yours is like. But I know it's a profile that will interest me rather than what a message says.
Socials as in mngs yes they can be a good way to get talking to people,but don't think they will be a sure fire way to get known either. I know quite a few men who have gone to some and found them to be not as friendly as easy going as people make out. And to be honest I've been to a few myself and found them just as hit and miss in regards of chatting to people and them being any way inclusive. Some have been great craic others not so much, but then I'm not a massively outgoing person so find approaching people difficult especially when they are all sat in groups at tables like they so often are at these events.
Don't allow fab to affect your mental health though and if you find it is just take a wee break for a while. |
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By *cskinny OP Man 49 weeks ago
near you |
Im really not out going enough for socials. Perhaps a break from here is the best option.
All of your replys show that there are a lot of good people here.
I hope that if someone else is on here and thinking the same as me but couldn't post about it that this post will help them too.
Thank you for all your advice and happy Christmas x
Fresh start next year
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Look it’s really just a reflection of life. Some people have lots of free time for fab others don’t, some people like to chat others like straight off meets, some prefer to meet at socials or at parties others want a coffee first, some people are attracted to you and some aren’t and others actually don’t care about attraction, some want lots of sex frequently others want different sexual experiences occasionally and some actually might not even want sex surprisingly, it’s just a big mad world but not the only world so try to remember that. Socials are great but can also be a bit scary and hard to penetrate pardon the pun but I have seen plenty of daytime coffee groups which may seem easier to do. Best of luck OP! |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"Look it’s really just a reflection of life. Some people have lots of free time for fab others don’t, some people like to chat others like straight off meets, some prefer to meet at socials or at parties others want a coffee first, some people are attracted to you and some aren’t and others actually don’t care about attraction, some want lots of sex frequently others want different sexual experiences occasionally and some actually might not even want sex surprisingly, it’s just a big mad world but not the only world so try to remember that. Socials are great but can also be a bit scary and hard to penetrate pardon the pun but I have seen plenty of daytime coffee groups which may seem easier to do. Best of luck OP! "
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By *aughty MilfCouple 49 weeks ago
Fermanagh/Monaghan Ireland , Northern Ireland |
"Im really not out going enough for socials. Perhaps a break from here is the best option.
All of your replys show that there are a lot of good people here.
I hope that if someone else is on here and thinking the same as me but couldn't post about it that this post will help them too.
Thank you for all your advice and happy Christmas x
Fresh start next year
"
That shouldn't stop you we all grew from our experiences and even were shyer when we started . You need to push past fears to really have fun x |
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You only get out of something what you put in put zero effort in get zero back plenty of socials and events all over the country to get involved in explsin to the organisers that it's you first time and that you are nervous if they are good hosts they will introduce you to a few people and take it from there I went to my first social not knowing a sinner so if I can do it anyone can lol |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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So what IV learned from this post is , women or couples won't meet single guys on here and that this sight is mainly a go between for socials which your better off attending ,but ..will find it very hard to penetrate the core groups of regular attendees lol
Best of luck with it op.
Have you tried tinder lol
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"So what IV learned from this post is , women or couples won't meet single guys on here and that this sight is mainly a go between for socials which your better off attending ,but ..will find it very hard to penetrate the core groups of regular attendees lol
Best of luck with it op.
Have you tried tinder lol
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How many men come on here in the belief that it's just random messaging to meet up for random fucking?
What drives that naivety, is it porn?
Its a swingers site, that's not swinging!
Parties and socials are the main stay of swinging! |
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"So what IV learned from this post is , women or couples won't meet single guys on here and that this sight is mainly a go between for socials which your better off attending ,but ..will find it very hard to penetrate the core groups of regular attendees lol
Best of luck with it op.
Have you tried tinder lol
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I wouldn't say it's that hard on all fronts.
It just comes down to playing to your strengths I think. Some are good at writing or photos or having the craic online and others are better in person at a social or club.
Others will meet more success on tinder or in the pub or at the local sports centre.
The key I think is not flogging a dead horse (and yourself) and just finding a thing that works in a place that works for you.
There's loads of ways to skin the cat on fab but just because none of them might suit you is by no means a measure of anyone as a person. |
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By *cskinny OP Man 49 weeks ago
near you |
Im definitely didnt come on here expecting it to be easy.
Honestly dont know y i came here because socials probably arnt for me but I do enjoy meeting new people and i wouldn't expect anything to come from a coffee meet just a chat and a laugh...
I've a self issue of coming across pushy or needy which im not so maybe it stops me putting in enough effort.
I'll stick it out here for awhile more i do enjoy the forums so maybe ill just sit back and enjoy the fun topics.
Thanks to everyone who commented its good to hear other people side of this.
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I definitely think the small coffee meets (less than 20) are ideal because nobody is left out and they tend to be very pleasant experiences. Get a few veris for one of them, then go to another one and another one and find your feet by just chatting to people on the scene.
Patience really is a virtue on here . Take baby steps and just be yourself. Good luck  |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"So what IV learned from this post is , women or couples won't meet single guys on here and that this sight is mainly a go between for socials which your better off attending ,but ..will find it very hard to penetrate the core groups of regular attendees lol
Best of luck with it op.
Have you tried tinder lol
I wouldn't say it's that hard on all fronts.
It just comes down to playing to your strengths I think. Some are good at writing or photos or having the craic online and others are better in person at a social or club.
Others will meet more success on tinder or in the pub or at the local sports centre.
The key I think is not flogging a dead horse (and yourself) and just finding a thing that works in a place that works for you.
There's loads of ways to skin the cat on fab but just because none of them might suit you is by no means a measure of anyone as a person."
Although I believe there's some truth to it take what I said with a pinch of salt lol.
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"So what IV learned from this post is , women or couples won't meet single guys on here and that this sight is mainly a go between for socials which your better off attending ,but ..will find it very hard to penetrate the core groups of regular attendees lol
Best of luck with it op.
Have you tried tinder lol
How many men come on here in the belief that it's just random messaging to meet up for random fucking?
What drives that naivety, is it porn?
Its a swingers site, that's not swinging!
Parties and socials are the main stay of swinging! "
You might be surprised at how many men come on here thinking it's a site for random fucking and then do in fact fuck a lot of randoms! You only have to look at the verifications on single's profiles to see it. You'll almost never see any of them on the forum.
Fab is definitely a swingers site for a lot of people, particularly couples, but it is a pretty vibrant hook up site for a lot of other people who wouldn't consider themselves swingers at all.
That said, there is, without question, a surplus of men on fab who don't get it, won't get it and appear to be stuck in an endless loop that they can't get out of. |
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By *cskinny OP Man 49 weeks ago
near you |
"So what IV learned from this post is , women or couples won't meet single guys on here and that this sight is mainly a go between for socials which your better off attending ,but ..will find it very hard to penetrate the core groups of regular attendees lol
Best of luck with it op.
Have you tried tinder lol
How many men come on here in the belief that it's just random messaging to meet up for random fucking?
What drives that naivety, is it porn?
Its a swingers site, that's not swinging!
Parties and socials are the main stay of swinging!
You might be surprised at how many men come on here thinking it's a site for random fucking and then do in fact fuck a lot of randoms! You only have to look at the verifications on single's profiles to see it. You'll almost never see any of them on the forum.
Fab is definitely a swingers site for a lot of people, particularly couples, but it is a pretty vibrant hook up site for a lot of other people who wouldn't consider themselves swingers at all.
That said, there is, without question, a surplus of men on fab who don't get it, won't get it and appear to be stuck in an endless loop that they can't get out of."
I probably thought that this would be a place for people who are not in a so called normal relationship. Perhaps a place for some privacy unlike tinder etc.. |
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By *aughty MilfCouple 49 weeks ago
Fermanagh/Monaghan Ireland , Northern Ireland |
"Maybe chatting here might help you relax more to get courage to try a meet and greet social
Thats a lot of the problem very few want to chat. Its like drawing blood from a stone.
"
I mean on forums |
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"So what IV learned from this post is , women or couples won't meet single guys on here and that this sight is mainly a go between for socials which your better off attending ,but ..will find it very hard to penetrate the core groups of regular attendees lol
Best of luck with it op.
Have you tried tinder lol
How many men come on here in the belief that it's just random messaging to meet up for random fucking?
What drives that naivety, is it porn?
Its a swingers site, that's not swinging!
Parties and socials are the main stay of swinging!
You might be surprised at how many men come on here thinking it's a site for random fucking and then do in fact fuck a lot of randoms! You only have to look at the verifications on single's profiles to see it. You'll almost never see any of them on the forum.
Fab is definitely a swingers site for a lot of people, particularly couples, but it is a pretty vibrant hook up site for a lot of other people who wouldn't consider themselves swingers at all.
That said, there is, without question, a surplus of men on fab who don't get it, won't get it and appear to be stuck in an endless loop that they can't get out of.
I probably thought that this would be a place for people who are not in a so called normal relationship. Perhaps a place for some privacy unlike tinder etc.."
Did the name not give it away that it's a swingers site? |
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By *og-ManMan 49 weeks ago
somewhere |
Not going to keep copying and pasting
Op....lots of straight men on here in fact its the normal on here
Bi men mostly get mentioned cause some of them are annoying fuckers with their I'll turn you messages or fancy a blowjob
Op.....a huge amount of people in the forums say they are not swingers so ignore what the site is called and find what you're looking for if you can
Seems to me that lots of people do have problems on here
Couples looking for the elusive unicorn
Couples looking to find 4 way attraction
Women looking for safe sane men/ women for casual sex
Men looking for safe sane women / men for casual sex
Men looking for any hole is a goal with absolutely no standards mentioned or required
And last but not least
ordinary men and women looking for a fb or fwb or some sort of relationship
It does happen.....I know enough couples on here that it has happened too ( myself included )
So don't give up but don't let it wreck your head either
Happy Christmas
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it can be very hit and miss, absolutely but I found its definitely worth hanging around. A lot of women get let down by lads not showing up etc so it can make it hard for quick meet ups. buikd a friendly naughty relationship with a coulle of women. most of all be honest with them what your looking for attached not attached etc. I find works best with me. best of luck tho |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"Not going to keep copying and pasting
Op....lots of straight men on here in fact its the normal on here
Bi men mostly get mentioned cause some of them are annoying fuckers with their I'll turn you messages or fancy a blowjob
Op.....a huge amount of people in the forums say they are not swingers so ignore what the site is called and find what you're looking for if you can
Seems to me that lots of people do have problems on here
Couples looking for the elusive unicorn
Couples looking to find 4 way attraction
Women looking for safe sane men/ women for casual sex
Men looking for safe sane women / men for casual sex
Men looking for any hole is a goal with absolutely no standards mentioned or required
And last but not least
ordinary men and women looking for a fb or fwb or some sort of relationship
It does happen.....I know enough couples on here that it has happened too ( myself included )
So don't give up but don't let it wreck your head either
Happy Christmas
"
Perfectly said!
Happy Christmas |
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