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Jokes ....spread the laughter
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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A bear and a rabbit are pooping in the woods
After the bear is done he turns to the rabbit and says "do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"
The rabbit looks confused and says "no, I've never had a problem with that"
The bear smiles and says "good" and picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt with him. |
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"What's the difference between a Christmas Tree and a Man?
A Christmas tree will stay erect for 12 nights, has cute balls and looks fantastic with the lights on.   "
The guy in the store asked if I was going to put the Christmas tree up myself.
I said no, I'll probably put it up in the living room. |
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“I bet you cant tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time” a husband says to his wife . She thinks about it for a moment and then responds “Your penis is bigger than your brothers”  |
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2 auld wans chatting at the corner of Dorset St, back biting everyone who walks by. Opposite them is a knock knock shop, a brothel.
A Jewish rabbi walks pass and goes into the knock knock shop. Did you see that Mary, I did says the other one, only one religion in ireland. 1/2 hour later church of Ireland vicar walks by pulls up his collar and goes into the shop. Did you see that Mary, I did there all the same sex mad. Hour later still backbiting the parish priest goes by and goes into the knock knock shop. Did you see that Mary, I did someone must have died inside the shop. |
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A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."  |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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A guy is sitting at the doctor's office. The doctor walks in and says, "I have some bad news. I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating." "I don't understand, doc," the patient says. "Why?" "Because," the doctor says. "I'm trying to examine you. |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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Four cannibals apply for a job in a big corporation…
„Well“, says the boss, „if I hire you guys, you have to promise to not eat any of our staff.“
The cannibals promise that they will not eat anyone and get hired.
Everything is going well for a while, and one day the boss calls them into his office.
“You’re working well and all, but we’re missing an office cleaner. Do you have something to do with that?”
The cannibals swear that they are innocent.
The boss believes them and leaves the office and they all turn to their leader.
“You idiots!”, he screams. “Who ate the cleaner?”
One of the cannibals sheepishly raises his hand.
“You fool!”, shouts the leader. "For weeks we've been feasting on directors, team leaders, project managers and human resource staff, and then you go and eat someone they'll actually miss!" |
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