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BDSM novices - looking for advice
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By *ythen OP Man 50 weeks ago
North Co. Dublin |
Hi all,
My better half (FM) has recently expressed an interest in us trying out some BDSM play together… looking for advice on where to start / starter toys- gear etc I should be looking at getting … she has expressed desire in being restrained/ blindfolded initially
Also can anyone recommend good sites online to shop for same to put in her Xmas stocking 
Thanks in advance for any feedback .. |
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"Hi all,
My better half (FM) has recently expressed an interest in us trying out some BDSM play together… looking for advice on where to start / starter toys- gear etc I should be looking at getting … she has expressed desire in being restrained/ blindfolded initially
Also can anyone recommend good sites online to shop for same to put in her Xmas stocking
Thanks in advance for any feedback .. "
Try DV8 I think in Dublin, go to a munch, it's basically a social. They will tell you everything you wanna know and show you how to use most of it. |
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By *ythen OP Man 50 weeks ago
North Co. Dublin |
"Hi all,
My better half (FM) has recently expressed an interest in us trying out some BDSM play together… looking for advice on where to start / starter toys- gear etc I should be looking at getting … she has expressed desire in being restrained/ blindfolded initially
Also can anyone recommend good sites online to shop for same to put in her Xmas stocking
Thanks in advance for any feedback ..
Try DV8 I think in Dublin, go to a munch, it's basically a social. They will tell you everything you wanna know and show you how to use most of it."
Tks for advice…. Definitely sounds like a good idea for newbies |
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Sites like LoveHoney do sets. You can learn rope technique online. But ciffs might be a simpler go-to.
Start small. Don't expect a full scene right away.
All your early sessions will be trial and error and a lot of "is this okay?". Adding one new element at a time until you both know exactly what you like and how to do it.
Big, immersive scenes only come when you know each other's limits, responses and preferences very well.
The submissive partner also has a job to do a lot of communication, and introspection about what they are looking to experience.
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By *ythen OP Man 50 weeks ago
North Co. Dublin |
"Sites like LoveHoney do sets. You can learn rope technique online. But ciffs might be a simpler go-to.
Start small. Don't expect a full scene right away.
All your early sessions will be trial and error and a lot of "is this okay?". Adding one new element at a time until you both know exactly what you like and how to do it.
…
Big, immersive scenes only come when you know each other's limits, responses and preferences very well.
The submissive partner also has a job to do a lot of communication, and introspection about what they are looking to experience.
"
Thanks all sounds like good advice… re your point starting small … that’s it’s exactly what I was thinking…. As they say “you have to walk before you can run” |
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By *ythen OP Man 50 weeks ago
North Co. Dublin |
"I've personally used quick release straps, it can get as tight as a ratched but one press of a lever and everything is loose really handy"
Not familiar with these at all , where did you buy them from ? |
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I would not recommend buying online but buying in person. But I don't know what fetish markets you have. An event I have wanted to attend but Dublin hotels are too expensive is "Nimhneach".
If it is still on that may be worth attending. |
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Head over to the most popular BDSM site and there is loads to research there on the Irish scene. You may want to also research clubs and events and what is involved in attending or reviews on safety of them not all are the same. Have fun |
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A word about DV8 if you do decide to go...
We've been to one social and one play event there. We really enjoyed both and will go again in the future.
I (Mr) had mistakenly taken the play event to mean actual play - people openly getting it on. But it wasn't - it was non-sex BDSM & kink-play. We enjoyed watching the flogging and restraint stuff.
But one or two guys got full-on violent with their restrained partners. One was kicking her bum very hard wearing heavy hiking-type boots.
We all have our different kinks, and neither of us would judge in any way, but we were both shocked by a couple of things we saw. P was even put off being there by what we saw, despite having recently had her interest in restraint piqued when I tied her to a St Andrew's cross at a full-on play event in another club.
It might seem odd to use the term "sensual" with impact play (flogging, etc), but that's the type of restraint play we'll be dabbling in - mostly light sensual touch with some impact play with a flogger and a crop. But for us we think it's the restraint aspect that titilates the most, rather than actual pain.
We got neoprene-lined cuffs from Cherry Pink, and a flogger and some soft rope from Play Blue.
FYI, we're basically complete noobs with BDSM / kink, so plenty of others more experienced will help. |
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By *ub_TMan 50 weeks ago
Dublin city |
If I were you I’d approach an established dom lady , as you’ll get a woman’s perspective also. There’s a couple of very established ladies here in IE. You can both visit and talk about what you like etc and boundaries. And fool about.
BDSM is so wide ranging and varying , I think you should seek guidance. Carrying out research like you are now is spot on.
If it were me a club would be the last port of call to explore first time round.
At least until you find your feet and are both comfortable before you go to clubs to “play”. My penny’s worth…..  |
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