FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Snakes in the grass..
Snakes in the grass..
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Do people think that there is a lot of snakes on fab...you think you get to know them but for them trust and class them as friends, but to find out that there going behind your back lieing to you try to make a fool out of you,and when you call them out on it get nasty and refuse to answer for their actions and black list you and block you..if fab is coming to this I wonder is it worth staying here... |
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Unfortunately that’s the way of nearly all social media and social groups.
We got a friend on here who’s going through a hard time and someone else who is supposedly a friend from here is already twisting the knife in their back. It’s shit but what can you do when people have their mind set on destroying.
Just ignore them as it will come back around, the person they’re lying too will become the victim down the line and plenty will see the perpetrator for who they are. |
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I think when you get to the stage that people on here are upsetting you so much, you should leave. Fab is meant to be fun. You've posted before about not enjoying here so why stay and put yourself through the upset?
The alternative is to block people you have issues with, rise above any petty nonsense and get on with what you are here for. |
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"It's not worth staying here. This isn't your first deeply negative post like this. It's clear you are not having a good time.
Why stay?"
Because it was ment to be fun..
But some people's ideas for fun it to rube it in your face... |
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By *anUTV/TS
over a year ago
Rural |
Place's like this are a mish mash of different personalities and needs, it takes a while to get anywhere.
It's not like a free for all or people are up to shag anything with a pulse.
Some like it rough around the edges other's are more interested in a clean cut look and like me I'm only interested in well hung guys, single or in a couple scenario.
Yet I've lad's pleading to meet up and they're cheating on their partners, jamming on about a sexless marriage and they're bi etc etc feeling sorry for themselves. Not for me.
I was here as a bi guy before openly bi, l was lucky enough to know how to approach someone and I could take no or no response as a reasonable conclusion that someone isn't interested.
I had a lot of fun all the same.
If a guy really wants to do well here he should have proper photos, not of boxers and a piss stain on the side or wrinkly dirty jocks, knob cheese on their willy etc I've seen it all lol
Looking after yourself and having creative pictures can multiply your chances ten fold
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By *anUTV/TS
over a year ago
Rural |
Place's like this are a mish mash of different personalities and needs, it takes a while to get anywhere.
It's not like a free for all or people are up to shag anything with a pulse.
Some like it rough around the edges other's are more interested in a clean cut look and like me I'm only interested in well hung guys, single or in a couple scenario.
Yet I've lad's pleading to meet up and they're cheating on their partners, jamming on about a sexless marriage and they're bi etc etc feeling sorry for themselves. Not for me.
I was here as a bi guy before openly bi, l was lucky enough to know how to approach someone and I could take no or no response as a reasonable conclusion that someone isn't interested.
I had a lot of fun all the same.
If a guy really wants to do well here he should have proper photos, not of boxers and a piss stain on the side or wrinkly dirty jocks, knob cheese on their willy etc I've seen it all lol
Looking after yourself and having creative pictures can multiply your chances ten fold
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"It's not worth staying here. This isn't your first deeply negative post like this. It's clear you are not having a good time.
Why stay?
Because it was ment to be fun..
But some people's ideas for fun it to rube it in your face..."
I don't understand how you keep getting yourself into situations that leave you feeling so burned.
|
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"It's not worth staying here. This isn't your first deeply negative post like this. It's clear you are not having a good time.
Why stay?
Because it was ment to be fun..
But some people's ideas for fun it to rube it in your face...
I don't understand how you keep getting yourself into situations that leave you feeling so burned.
"
Because I am open and honest with people I meet people and take them at face value... |
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By *anUTV/TS
over a year ago
Rural |
"It's not worth staying here. This isn't your first deeply negative post like this. It's clear you are not having a good time.
Why stay?
Because it was ment to be fun..
But some people's ideas for fun it to rube it in your face...
I don't understand how you keep getting yourself into situations that leave you feeling so burned.
"
He has some good verifications, a lot more than some people. So obviously he's well capable of meeting someone. |
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"It's not worth staying here. This isn't your first deeply negative post like this. It's clear you are not having a good time.
Why stay?
Because it was ment to be fun..
But some people's ideas for fun it to rube it in your face...
I don't understand how you keep getting yourself into situations that leave you feeling so burned.
Because I am open and honest with people I meet people and take them at face value..."
That is a quality in any person and one that you should always try to keep.
Yet this is the internet and a pseudonymous sex site where we must all be cautious and have healthy boundaries and a thick skin. |
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By *astelloWoman
over a year ago
Far far away |
Fab is like life, there is always self centered people, manipulative and odious ones to tangle with.
Disassociate emotional connection until you actually engage with one on a more level playing field... People can hide behind their phones. |
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"It's not worth staying here. This isn't your first deeply negative post like this. It's clear you are not having a good time.
Why stay?
Because it was ment to be fun..
But some people's ideas for fun it to rube it in your face...
I don't understand how you keep getting yourself into situations that leave you feeling so burned.
He has some good verifications, a lot more than some people. So obviously he's well capable of meeting someone."
It not about getting meets is about people you think you can trust stabbing you in the back a walk away not answering for their actions..I am one of luck ones here I had good times here but something has gone wrong for me here and I can't get to the bottom of it ...
I ask the questions but get more lies or blocked...
|
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"It's not worth staying here. This isn't your first deeply negative post like this. It's clear you are not having a good time.
Why stay?
Because it was ment to be fun..
But some people's ideas for fun it to rube it in your face...
I don't understand how you keep getting yourself into situations that leave you feeling so burned.
He has some good verifications, a lot more than some people. So obviously he's well capable of meeting someone.
It not about getting meets is about people you think you can trust stabbing you in the back a walk away not answering for their actions..I am one of luck ones here I had good times here but something has gone wrong for me here and I can't get to the bottom of it ...
I ask the questions but get more lies or blocked...
"
Those situations are no good for you.
Castello is bang on the money.
Maybe it's time to take a moment to reflect what attracts you to people that treat you in this way? |
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"It's not worth staying here. This isn't your first deeply negative post like this. It's clear you are not having a good time.
Why stay?
Because it was ment to be fun..
But some people's ideas for fun it to rube it in your face...
I don't understand how you keep getting yourself into situations that leave you feeling so burned.
He has some good verifications, a lot more than some people. So obviously he's well capable of meeting someone.
It not about getting meets is about people you think you can trust stabbing you in the back a walk away not answering for their actions..I am one of luck ones here I had good times here but something has gone wrong for me here and I can't get to the bottom of it ...
I ask the questions but get more lies or blocked...
Those situations are no good for you.
Castello is bang on the money.
Maybe it's time to take a moment to reflect what attracts you to people that treat you in this way?"
As I,say I am open and honest with people, ihave gone out of my way to help people here..for what lies..
As I say it not about getting meets.. |
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"
Castello is bang on the money.
Maybe it's time to take a moment to reflect what attracts you to people that treat you in this way?
As I,say I am open and honest with people, ihave gone out of my way to help people here..for what lies..
As I say it not about getting meets.."
As said above. By more than one person, fab isn't a place to leave yourself vunerable.
If you find yourself getting into these situations again and again (and going by your post history you do), turn you will benefit by acknowledging the pattern in your behaviour that brings this trouble to your door.
There is personal responsibility here. |
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"It's not worth staying here. This isn't your first deeply negative post like this. It's clear you are not having a good time.
Why stay?
Because it was ment to be fun..
But some people's ideas for fun it to rube it in your face...
I don't understand how you keep getting yourself into situations that leave you feeling so burned.
He has some good verifications, a lot more than some people. So obviously he's well capable of meeting someone.
It not about getting meets is about people you think you can trust stabbing you in the back a walk away not answering for their actions..I am one of luck ones here I had good times here but something has gone wrong for me here and I can't get to the bottom of it ...
I ask the questions but get more lies or blocked...
"
Don't be putting trust in randomers on the internet if you can't handle getting burned sometimes. There are lovely people here, and also untrustworthy cunts. You will encounter both. |
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"It's not worth staying here. This isn't your first deeply negative post like this. It's clear you are not having a good time.
Why stay?
Because it was ment to be fun..
But some people's ideas for fun it to rube it in your face...
I don't understand how you keep getting yourself into situations that leave you feeling so burned.
He has some good verifications, a lot more than some people. So obviously he's well capable of meeting someone.
It not about getting meets is about people you think you can trust stabbing you in the back a walk away not answering for their actions..I am one of luck ones here I had good times here but something has gone wrong for me here and I can't get to the bottom of it ...
I ask the questions but get more lies or blocked...
Don't be putting trust in randomers on the internet if you can't handle getting burned sometimes. There are lovely people here, and also untrustworthy cunts. You will encounter both. "
Thay were not nandomers.. |
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By *panishRebelMan
over a year ago
Alicante Spain, and Cork City Ireland |
"It's nothing new. There are influencers and there are the easily influenced.
There are snakes and there are those who would crawl on their bellies just to be acknowledged by one of the vipers. "
Well put.... Like a Johnny Cash lyric. |
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"Yeah that totally does suck.
I guess it's better to cautiously allow people in when it feels right than to distrust everyone all the time, but it does leave you exposed."
Yea,I prefer someone to hit then lie to... |
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At least on Fab if someone is being rude you can use the block button or if they are being really abusive you can report them and the moderators will take appropriate action.
There is nothing you can do when people are being nasty on chat groups set up on other platforms off Fab. You will never know what lies are being told about you or that your Fab anonimity has been compromised unless one of your true friends happens to also be on that particular chat group and makes you aware of what has been said.
But everyone is as free to leave here as they are to join.
One good reason to stay is knowing that you are living in the heads of some not so nice people and causing them much more bother than they were causing you.
When people who are active here on the forums have not been very nice to me in the past I have been happy not to engage further with them and I take pleasure in knowing that I am not massaging their egos by posting on their self promoting threads.
Rise above the small minded, self centred, people and live your own Fab life.
Good people will gravitate towards other good people and you can be happy to leave the nasty folk to play their sad little mind games with those of their own ilk.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"At least on Fab if someone is being rude you can use the block button or if they are being really abusive you can report them and the moderators will take appropriate action.
There is nothing you can do when people are being nasty on chat groups set up on other platforms off Fab. You will never know what lies are being told about you or that your Fab anonimity has been compromised unless one of your true friends happens to also be on that particular chat group and makes you aware of what has been said.
But everyone is as free to leave here as they are to join.
One good reason to stay is knowing that you are living in the heads of some not so nice people and causing them much more bother than they were causing you.
When people who are active here on the forums have not been very nice to me in the past I have been happy not to engage further with them and I take pleasure in knowing that I am not massaging their egos by posting on their self promoting threads.
Rise above the small minded, self centred, people and live your own Fab life.
Good people will gravitate towards other good people and you can be happy to leave the nasty folk to play their sad little mind games with those of their own ilk.
"
Well said ^^  |
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"At least on Fab if someone is being rude you can use the block button or if they are being really abusive you can report them and the moderators will take appropriate action.
There is nothing you can do when people are being nasty on chat groups set up on other platforms off Fab. You will never know what lies are being told about you or that your Fab anonimity has been compromised unless one of your true friends happens to also be on that particular chat group and makes you aware of what has been said.
But everyone is as free to leave here as they are to join.
One good reason to stay is knowing that you are living in the heads of some not so nice people and causing them much more bother than they were causing you.
When people who are active here on the forums have not been very nice to me in the past I have been happy not to engage further with them and I take pleasure in knowing that I am not massaging their egos by posting on their self promoting threads.
Rise above the small minded, self centred, people and live your own Fab life.
Good people will gravitate towards other good people and you can be happy to leave the nasty folk to play their sad little mind games with those of their own ilk.
"
Nicely worded 
|
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"At least on Fab if someone is being rude you can use the block button or if they are being really abusive you can report them and the moderators will take appropriate action.
There is nothing you can do when people are being nasty on chat groups set up on other platforms off Fab. You will never know what lies are being told about you or that your Fab anonimity has been compromised unless one of your true friends happens to also be on that particular chat group and makes you aware of what has been said.
But everyone is as free to leave here as they are to join.
One good reason to stay is knowing that you are living in the heads of some not so nice people and causing them much more bother than they were causing you.
When people who are active here on the forums have not been very nice to me in the past I have been happy not to engage further with them and I take pleasure in knowing that I am not massaging their egos by posting on their self promoting threads.
Rise above the small minded, self centred, people and live your own Fab life.
Good people will gravitate towards other good people and you can be happy to leave the nasty folk to play their sad little mind games with those of their own ilk.
"
Best Answer yet and spot on 100% |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It's no different to any part of life imo. I don't think it's peculiar to Fab and I don't think it's rife. Perhaps if you find it happening often, you might want to consider giving less of yourself. Ultimately if you're no longer enjoying being here or it's consistently causing you upset, then why stay & put yourself through it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"One good reason to stay is knowing that you are living in the heads of some not so nice people and causing them much more bother than they were causing you"
I actually couldn't disagree more. Staying out of spite just perpetuates the misery. It makes it into an even bigger "thing". By all means stay and do Fab your way, but unless you let go of the negativity and those who cause it, everything will be tinged with bitterness. |
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"At least on Fab if someone is being rude you can use the block button or if they are being really abusive you can report them and the moderators will take appropriate action.
There is nothing you can do when people are being nasty on chat groups set up on other platforms off Fab. You will never know what lies are being told about you or that your Fab anonimity has been compromised unless one of your true friends happens to also be on that particular chat group and makes you aware of what has been said.
But everyone is as free to leave here as they are to join.
One good reason to stay is knowing that you are living in the heads of some not so nice people and causing them much more bother than they were causing you.
When people who are active here on the forums have not been very nice to me in the past I have been happy not to engage further with them and I take pleasure in knowing that I am not massaging their egos by posting on their self promoting threads.
Rise above the small minded, self centred, people and live your own Fab life.
Good people will gravitate towards other good people and you can be happy to leave the nasty folk to play their sad little mind games with those of their own ilk.
"
This x100 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most cliques I’ve ever seen on a site are on this site if you don’t attend certain socials etc you are nobody here which imo takes away the “swinging” aspect and makes it more cult like for me |
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Well in fairness you got plenty of support on the issue personally I think it's in every aspect of life these rude ppl aren't worth the time your giving them fuck them lies are lies give them enough rope they hang themselves. Keep on trucking |
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"Most cliques I’ve ever seen on a site are on this site if you don’t attend certain socials etc you are nobody here which imo takes away the “swinging” aspect and makes it more cult like for me "
I'd be very unconvinced that anyone thinks people who choose not to attend particular social events are nobody's. These events exist to allow swingers to build relationships and meet new people to meet. They serve the community and are a big benefit to attendees, particularly unverifieds and newbies. I think sometimes people are recommended to attend because it will benefit them, rather than because they seek to be 'somebody' in the scene. |
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"Most cliques I’ve ever seen on a site are on this site if you don’t attend certain socials etc you are nobody here which imo takes away the “swinging” aspect and makes it more cult like for me "
I've been to a few socials and even though I'm not a massive fan of them because they are very hit and miss I wouldn't agree that you have to attend to be somebody.
I haven't been in any chatgroups for a few years and I'm not talking to anyone outside of the forums but it has never hindered me in getting meets. |
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It's very easy to tell people to avoid drama but it's never as black and white as that.
When I used to run a couple of fab chatgroups I've had people who were initially friends and recommended each other to the group have major rows and try to get me involved and take one side or the other.
I've always refused and had nothing more to do with them but some people aren't used to being told no.
Simply by not getting involved in their soap opera I've been told they could end my fab journey and I've had my name and facepics shared with other fabbers/forumites that I've never even spoken to.
Stepping away, blocking and ignoring is easily enough done but as someone else said, in doing so you get to live rent free in their heads and their little terrier side emerges and they really don't want to let go.
I know it annoys them every time I post in the forums and to be honest that's part of the fun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do people think that there is a lot of snakes on fab...you think you get to know them but for them trust and class them as friends, but to find out that there going behind your back lieing to you try to make a fool out of you,and when you call them out on it get nasty and refuse to answer for their actions and black list you and block you..if fab is coming to this I wonder is it worth staying here..."
You will always come across people like this in all parts of your life.
Trust your intuition always. If something is off it is.
Never give people the benefit of the doubt.
People always know exactly what they are doing ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"At least on Fab if someone is being rude you can use the block button or if they are being really abusive you can report them and the moderators will take appropriate action.
There is nothing you can do when people are being nasty on chat groups set up on other platforms off Fab. You will never know what lies are being told about you or that your Fab anonimity has been compromised unless one of your true friends happens to also be on that particular chat group and makes you aware of what has been said.
But everyone is as free to leave here as they are to join.
One good reason to stay is knowing that you are living in the heads of some not so nice people and causing them much more bother than they were causing you.
When people who are active here on the forums have not been very nice to me in the past I have been happy not to engage further with them and I take pleasure in knowing that I am not massaging their egos by posting on their self promoting threads.
Rise above the small minded, self centred, people and live your own Fab life.
Good people will gravitate towards other good people and you can be happy to leave the nasty folk to play their sad little mind games with those of their own ilk.
"
What he said above |
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""One good reason to stay is knowing that you are living in the heads of some not so nice people and causing them much more bother than they were causing you"
I actually couldn't disagree more. Staying out of spite just perpetuates the misery. It makes it into an even bigger "thing". By all means stay and do Fab your way, but unless you let go of the negativity and those who cause it, everything will be tinged with bitterness."
I do not see my staying on as a fab member, while knowing that it irks some people that I am still on the site, as my being in any way negative or spiteful. In fact I see it as a positive that I can rise above their negativity towards me.
Fab is not any one person's private club and by paying my subscription I am as entitled as any other member to participate provided I stay within the site rules.
If individuals wish to exclude me from their activity on the site that is their prerogative and they should block me as I would do if the situation was reversed. If this happens I move on and enjoy interactions with all of those who are happy to engage with me in a decent and respectful manner.
For me being on fab is 99% a positive experience and I wish only good things to everyone on the site.
For it to be fun you need to see the funny side.
  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
""One good reason to stay is knowing that you are living in the heads of some not so nice people and causing them much more bother than they were causing you"
I actually couldn't disagree more. Staying out of spite just perpetuates the misery. It makes it into an even bigger "thing". By all means stay and do Fab your way, but unless you let go of the negativity and those who cause it, everything will be tinged with bitterness.
I do not see my staying on as a fab member, while knowing that it irks some people that I am still on the site, as my being in any way negative or spiteful. In fact I see it as a positive that I can rise above their negativity towards me.
Fab is not any one person's private club and by paying my subscription I am as entitled as any other member to participate provided I stay within the site rules.
If individuals wish to exclude me from their activity on the site that is their prerogative and they should block me as I would do if the situation was reversed. If this happens I move on and enjoy interactions with all of those who are happy to engage with me in a decent and respectful manner.
For me being on fab is 99% a positive experience and I wish only good things to everyone on the site.
For it to be fun you need to see the funny side.
"
Well said |
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""One good reason to stay is knowing that you are living in the heads of some not so nice people and causing them much more bother than they were causing you"
I actually couldn't disagree more. Staying out of spite just perpetuates the misery. It makes it into an even bigger "thing". By all means stay and do Fab your way, but unless you let go of the negativity and those who cause it, everything will be tinged with bitterness.
I do not see my staying on as a fab member, while knowing that it irks some people that I am still on the site, as my being in any way negative or spiteful. In fact I see it as a positive that I can rise above their negativity towards me.
Fab is not any one person's private club and by paying my subscription I am as entitled as any other member to participate provided I stay within the site rules.
If individuals wish to exclude me from their activity on the site that is their prerogative and they should block me as I would do if the situation was reversed. If this happens I move on and enjoy interactions with all of those who are happy to engage with me in a decent and respectful manner.
For me being on fab is 99% a positive experience and I wish only good things to everyone on the site.
For it to be fun you need to see the funny side.
"
Again 100% this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
""One good reason to stay is knowing that you are living in the heads of some not so nice people and causing them much more bother than they were causing you"
I actually couldn't disagree more. Staying out of spite just perpetuates the misery. It makes it into an even bigger "thing". By all means stay and do Fab your way, but unless you let go of the negativity and those who cause it, everything will be tinged with bitterness.
I do not see my staying on as a fab member, while knowing that it irks some people that I am still on the site, as my being in any way negative or spiteful. In fact I see it as a positive that I can rise above their negativity towards me.
Fab is not any one person's private club and by paying my subscription I am as entitled as any other member to participate provided I stay within the site rules.
If individuals wish to exclude me from their activity on the site that is their prerogative and they should block me as I would do if the situation was reversed. If this happens I move on and enjoy interactions with all of those who are happy to engage with me in a decent and respectful manner.
For me being on fab is 99% a positive experience and I wish only good things to everyone on the site.
For it to be fun you need to see the funny side.
"
I agree |
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If only it was restricted to Fab Op It is officially a swingers site for adults and yes, full discretion should be a given here. However you are going to find the odd mouthpiece who will tell friends and acquaintances outside of FAB your full business here.
Guess it's a learning lesson to us all to choose wisely the people you have a coffee with and those you share a bed with |
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