..were invented in the 13th century by the Welsh using a sheep's bladder.
500 years later the English improved in the design by removing it from the sheep first.
Any other pearls of useless wisdom? |
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"Merkins were like pubic wigs for your vagina that were worn because they hid the signs of syphilis or to cover up shaving that was done to get rid of public lice."
Goodbye Merkin Durkin sure I'm sick and tired of workin'. |
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"Merkins were like pubic wigs for your vagina that were worn because they hid the signs of syphilis or to cover up shaving that was done to get rid of public lice.
Goodbye Merkin Durkin sure I'm sick and tired of workin'."
 bad memories of car trips round the country and my Da in charge of the cassettes played |
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I seen on QI, there was a highway man called Dick Dudley in like the 1600s who made a merkin from a dead whore's minge, and sold it to the Pope as St Peters beard.
The Pope would kiss the "relic" and wear or about the house as he was doing the hoovering and that. |
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High heels were originally invented so people could have anal.
Many moons ago when water was filthy and it was too much hassle to boil it, people drank beer all day, every day. So everyone were bopping around half cut most of the time and when they lay down to have a shag they just kept nodding off. Then this one lady who lost her job because of the invention of the wheel, and had particularly short legs fashioned the first pair of high heels from her old sandles using the legs from a broken milking stool. This made anal sex standing up far easier. She didn't have vaginal sex any more as she had 17 children and condoms were sheep. High heels were originally called bum pumps but the bum was dropped as 84 percent of the population were bums and the outrage was widespread. |
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"I seen on QI, there was a highway man called Dick Dudley in like the 1600s who made a merkin from a dead whore's minge, and sold it to the Pope as St Peters beard.
The Pope would kiss the "relic" and wear or about the house as he was doing the hoovering and that."
The tradition is still carried in to this day, along with other scarification of the innocence to appease the sand demon from the middle east |
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"High heels were originally invented so people could have anal.
Many moons ago when water was filthy and it was too much hassle to boil it, people drank beer all day, every day. So everyone were bopping around half cut most of the time and when they lay down to have a shag they just kept nodding off. Then this one lady who lost her job because of the invention of the wheel, and had particularly short legs fashioned the first pair of high heels from her old sandles using the legs from a broken milking stool. This made anal sex standing up far easier. She didn't have vaginal sex any more as she had 17 children and condoms were sheep. High heels were originally called bum pumps but the bum was dropped as 84 percent of the population were bums and the outrage was widespread. "
Seen high heels used as deadly weapons on the streets back in the 90's
Absolutely deadly weapons, on sharp hit and that's it lights out.
Nothing more classy than a bunch of women hacking each other with high heels outside burger land off Oliver Plunkett street in Cork during the 90's
I love your creative writing skills, my kind of thought process  |
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"High heels were originally invented so people could have anal.
Many moons ago when water was filthy and it was too much hassle to boil it, people drank beer all day, every day. So everyone were bopping around half cut most of the time and when they lay down to have a shag they just kept nodding off. Then this one lady who lost her job because of the invention of the wheel, and had particularly short legs fashioned the first pair of high heels from her old sandles using the legs from a broken milking stool. This made anal sex standing up far easier. She didn't have vaginal sex any more as she had 17 children and condoms were sheep. High heels were originally called bum pumps but the bum was dropped as 84 percent of the population were bums and the outrage was widespread. "
Laughed out loud.  
Brilliant |
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By *panishRebelMan 36 weeks ago
Alicante Spain, and Cork City Ireland |
"High heels were originally invented so people could have anal.
Many moons ago when water was filthy and it was too much hassle to boil it, people drank beer all day, every day. So everyone were bopping around half cut most of the time and when they lay down to have a shag they just kept nodding off. Then this one lady who lost her job because of the invention of the wheel, and had particularly short legs fashioned the first pair of high heels from her old sandles using the legs from a broken milking stool. This made anal sex standing up far easier. She didn't have vaginal sex any more as she had 17 children and condoms were sheep. High heels were originally called bum pumps but the bum was dropped as 84 percent of the population were bums and the outrage was widespread.
Seen high heels used as deadly weapons on the streets back in the 90's
Absolutely deadly weapons, on sharp hit and that's it lights out.
Nothing more classy than a bunch of women hacking each other with high heels outside burger land off Oliver Plunkett street in Cork during the 90's
I love your creative writing skills, my kind of thought process "
I thought high heels were for ground hurling practice on the street. The act of swiping the heel off with one skillful stroke as you walk past on the street, being great skills practice for the game itself. |
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