FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Lying to my mother
Lying to my mother
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By * Va OP Woman
over a year ago
Dublin |
Usually I tell her as much of the truth as I can without upsetting her. This week is tricky. I took a punch to the tailbone (all consentual good fun) and am slow to explain to her why I don't want to drive 4 hours to visit and attempt to sit gingerly during the visit. So, dear Fabbers, hit me (pun intended) with your proposals for the Funniest excuses for not being able to visit my mother and/or sit comfortably if I do. Let's have a laugh about it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Usually I tell her as much of the truth as I can without upsetting her. This week is tricky. I took a punch to the tailbone (all consentual good fun) and am slow to explain to her why I don't want to drive 4 hours to visit and attempt to sit gingerly during the visit. So, dear Fabbers, hit me (pun intended) with your proposals for the Funniest excuses for not being able to visit my mother and/or sit comfortably if I do. Let's have a laugh about it "
Tell her you thought about it and decided you'd visit no problem if she lived nearer |
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"Genius! Does the best one get used as the excuse next time?
No promises, but of there's a worthy one...sure!"
Well to avoid lying to your mother, simply say you've been dealing with a real pain in the ass recently and it's a pain not worth discussing  |
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"Usually I tell her as much of the truth as I can without upsetting her. This week is tricky. I took a punch to the tailbone (all consentual good fun) and am slow to explain to her why I don't want to drive 4 hours to visit and attempt to sit gingerly during the visit. So, dear Fabbers, hit me (pun intended) with your proposals for the Funniest excuses for not being able to visit my mother and/or sit comfortably if I do. Let's have a laugh about it "
Tell her you took a consensual blow to the tailbone, I’m sure she’ll understand |
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By * Va OP Woman
over a year ago
Dublin |
"Tell her you thought about it and decided you'd visit no problem if she lived nearer "
No beuno. I quite enjoy the drive  at the moment it's less pleasant than usual is all. Explaining a ring pillow would be hilarious. |
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By * Va OP Woman
over a year ago
Dublin |
"Genius! Does the best one get used as the excuse next time?
No promises, but of there's a worthy one...sure!
Well to avoid lying to your mother, simply say you've been dealing with a real pain in the ass recently and it's a pain not worth discussing "
Nice! She'd understand that! |
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By * Va OP Woman
over a year ago
Dublin |
"
Tell her you took a consensual blow to the tailbone, I’m sure she’ll understand
Sure it happens to us all tbf "
It definitely happens to me! She's cool with bruises most times. But this is a whole other ball game, as such. |
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"
Tell her you took a consensual blow to the tailbone, I’m sure she’ll understand
Sure it happens to us all tbf
It definitely happens to me! She's cool with bruises most times. But this is a whole other ball game, as such. "
A cannonball at the local swimmers went awry
You accidentally jumped into the shallow end like a silly goose |
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By * Va OP Woman
over a year ago
Dublin |
"
Tell her you took a consensual blow to the tailbone, I’m sure she’ll understand
Sure it happens to us all tbf
It definitely happens to me! She's cool with bruises most times. But this is a whole other ball game, as such.
A cannonball at the local swimmers went awry
You accidentally jumped into the shallow end like a silly goose"
To be fair. I am a silly goose. She would accept that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just say it was a riding accident,
Ooooh!! Now we're talking. Someone did break a crop on me during this scene... sooooo it's close to the truth!"
You would look good in jodhpurs |
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By * Va OP Woman
over a year ago
Dublin |
"Just say it was a riding accident,
Ooooh!! Now we're talking. Someone did break a crop on me during this scene... sooooo it's close to the truth!
You would look good in jodhpurs "
Thanks  I'm inclined to agree. I miss my sadist buddy who used to let me ride his piebald. |
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"
Tell her you took a consensual blow to the tailbone, I’m sure she’ll understand
Sure it happens to us all tbf
It definitely happens to me! She's cool with bruises most times. But this is a whole other ball game, as such. "
A ball game? You can explain it as that then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just say it was a riding accident,
Ooooh!! Now we're talking. Someone did break a crop on me during this scene... sooooo it's close to the truth!
You would look good in jodhpurs
Thanks I'm inclined to agree. I miss my sadist buddy who used to let me ride his piebald. "
You need to be an experienced rider to stay seated bareback |
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By * Va OP Woman
over a year ago
Dublin |
"Just say it was a riding accident,
Ooooh!! Now we're talking. Someone did break a crop on me during this scene... sooooo it's close to the truth!
You would look good in jodhpurs
Thanks I'm inclined to agree. I miss my sadist buddy who used to let me ride his piebald.
You need to be an experienced rider to stay seated bareback"
I am an experienced rider  bareback requires commitment. Not something I've done or been willing to do in a long time. |
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By * Va OP Woman
over a year ago
Dublin |
"You went out with some friends. The bar had a rodeo bull machine thingy and you thought it would be fun to give it a go and subsequently got thrown off. Resulting in you landing awkwardly "
Yaaasss! This is believable, likely, and very me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just say it was a riding accident,
Ooooh!! Now we're talking. Someone did break a crop on me during this scene... sooooo it's close to the truth!
You would look good in jodhpurs
Thanks I'm inclined to agree. I miss my sadist buddy who used to let me ride his piebald.
You need to be an experienced rider to stay seated bareback"
There is no seat or saddle if you’re riding bareback |
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By * Va OP Woman
over a year ago
Dublin |
"Just say it was a riding accident,
Ooooh!! Now we're talking. Someone did break a crop on me during this scene... sooooo it's close to the truth!
You would look good in jodhpurs
Thanks I'm inclined to agree. I miss my sadist buddy who used to let me ride his piebald.
You need to be an experienced rider to stay seated bareback
There is no seat or saddle if you’re riding bareback "
Having a good seat is a equestrian term. It doesn't require a saddle. It is purely based on the rider. |
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"You went out with some friends. The bar had a rodeo bull machine thingy and you thought it would be fun to give it a go and subsequently got thrown off. Resulting in you landing awkwardly
Yaaasss! This is believable, likely, and very me. "
So you’re covering a riding injury with a riding injury…. |
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By * Va OP Woman
over a year ago
Dublin |
"OP never lie to yr Mamma they always find out lol  "
I agreed wholeheartedly. She's unreal. When she found out I'd performed with a BDSM act at EP in 2022 she took it so well I still use her 3 questions to vet people on both the swing and Fet scenes. |
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By * Va OP Woman
over a year ago
Dublin |
"You went out with some friends. The bar had a rodeo bull machine thingy and you thought it would be fun to give it a go and subsequently got thrown off. Resulting in you landing awkwardly
Yaaasss! This is believable, likely, and very me.
So you’re covering a riding injury with a riding injury…."
Pretty much. Except there was no riding. It was purely impact. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"OP never lie to yr Mamma they always find out lol
I agreed wholeheartedly. She's unreal. When she found out I'd performed with a BDSM act at EP in 2022 she took it so well I still use her 3 questions to vet people on both the swing and Fet scenes. "
My late mother missed nothing and I'm the same with my kids .. lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just tell her you’ve been having hot, sweaty, rampant sex with a new fella you meant on line and he’s left you with an unexplainable sex injury. Resulting in a massive pain in the ass, leaving sitting for long periods of time very uncomfortable. |
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By * Va OP Woman
over a year ago
Dublin |
"OP never lie to yr Mamma they always find out lol
I agreed wholeheartedly. She's unreal. When she found out I'd performed with a BDSM act at EP in 2022 she took it so well I still use her 3 questions to vet people on both the swing and Fet scenes.
My late mother missed nothing and I'm the same with my kids .. lol "
Hugs, m'dear. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just tell her you’ve been having hot, sweaty, rampant sex with a new fella you meant on line and he’s left you with an unexplainable sex injury. Resulting in a massive pain in the ass, leaving sitting for long periods of time very uncomfortable.
She would 100 percent ask who I was rebounding with "
Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just tell her you’ve been having hot, sweaty, rampant sex with a new fella you meant on line and he’s left you with an unexplainable sex injury. Resulting in a massive pain in the ass, leaving sitting for long periods of time very uncomfortable.
My poor mother would have asked for his phone number 
In this case it's a couple would she still be game?"
She passed away last year but if she was still alive she would be very up for it .. like mother like daughter |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"OP never lie to yr Mamma they always find out lol
I agreed wholeheartedly. She's unreal. When she found out I'd performed with a BDSM act at EP in 2022 she took it so well I still use her 3 questions to vet people on both the swing and Fet scenes. "
In that case she’s already worked out what you’ve been up to anyway! |
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By * Va OP Woman
over a year ago
Dublin |
"Just tell her you’ve been having hot, sweaty, rampant sex with a new fella you meant on line and he’s left you with an unexplainable sex injury. Resulting in a massive pain in the ass, leaving sitting for long periods of time very uncomfortable.
My poor mother would have asked for his phone number
In this case it's a couple would she still be game?
She passed away last year but if she was still alive she would be very up for it .. like mother like daughter "
I like the sound of her Again, hugs. Or punches. Whichever suit better |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just tell her you’ve been having hot, sweaty, rampant sex with a new fella you meant on line and he’s left you with an unexplainable sex injury. Resulting in a massive pain in the ass, leaving sitting for long periods of time very uncomfortable.
My poor mother would have asked for his phone number
In this case it's a couple would she still be game?
She passed away last year but if she was still alive she would be very up for it .. like mother like daughter
I like the sound of her Again, hugs. Or punches. Whichever suit better "
Thank you x |
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By * Va OP Woman
over a year ago
Dublin |
"OP never lie to yr Mamma they always find out lol
I agreed wholeheartedly. She's unreal. When she found out I'd performed with a BDSM act at EP in 2022 she took it so well I still use her 3 questions to vet people on both the swing and Fet scenes.
In that case she’s already worked out what you’ve been up to anyway! "
Fab won't let me publish pics of bruises she has seen. She's unbelievable. This one is different. It's not just visible it's audible. And longer lasting. I think she'd be more ok with it it of it was sex related the thought that pain can be more intimate than sex is a wee bit of an issue still. We're working on it. As long as I'm happy she's ok. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"OP never lie to yr Mamma they always find out lol
I agreed wholeheartedly. She's unreal. When she found out I'd performed with a BDSM act at EP in 2022 she took it so well I still use her 3 questions to vet people on both the swing and Fet scenes.
In that case she’s already worked out what you’ve been up to anyway!
Fab won't let me publish pics of bruises she has seen. She's unbelievable. This one is different. It's not just visible it's audible. And longer lasting. I think she'd be more ok with it it of it was sex related the thought that pain can be more intimate than sex is a wee bit of an issue still. We're working on it. As long as I'm happy she's ok. "
Tell her that then |
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By * Va OP Woman
over a year ago
Dublin |
"OP never lie to yr Mamma they always find out lol
I agreed wholeheartedly. She's unreal. When she found out I'd performed with a BDSM act at EP in 2022 she took it so well I still use her 3 questions to vet people on both the swing and Fet scenes.
In that case she’s already worked out what you’ve been up to anyway!
Fab won't let me publish pics of bruises she has seen. She's unbelievable. This one is different. It's not just visible it's audible. And longer lasting. I think she'd be more ok with it it of it was sex related the thought that pain can be more intimate than sex is a wee bit of an issue still. We're working on it. As long as I'm happy she's ok.
Tell her that then "
I'm working on it. Just like a D/s relationship it needs to be addressed delicately. With finesse. |
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"Usually I tell her as much of the truth as I can without upsetting her. This week is tricky. I took a punch to the tailbone (all consentual good fun) and am slow to explain to her why I don't want to drive 4 hours to visit and attempt to sit gingerly during the visit. So, dear Fabbers, hit me (pun intended) with your proposals for the Funniest excuses for not being able to visit my mother and/or sit comfortably if I do. Let's have a laugh about it "
Mom, I'd love to visit, but you won't believe it - I accidentally joined a twerking competition and won! Now, I've got a tailbone injury from my epic twerking moves. I need some time to heal my 'bootylicious' self before I can sit comfortably in your presence. It's all in the name of dance, you know! |
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"Usually I tell her as much of the truth as I can without upsetting her. This week is tricky. I took a punch to the tailbone (all consentual good fun) and am slow to explain to her why I don't want to drive 4 hours to visit and attempt to sit gingerly during the visit. So, dear Fabbers, hit me (pun intended) with your proposals for the Funniest excuses for not being able to visit my mother and/or sit comfortably if I do. Let's have a laugh about it "
The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: you DO NOT talk about Fight Club!
|
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By * Va OP Woman
over a year ago
Dublin |
"Usually I tell her as much of the truth as I can without upsetting her. This week is tricky. I took a punch to the tailbone (all consentual good fun) and am slow to explain to her why I don't want to drive 4 hours to visit and attempt to sit gingerly during the visit. So, dear Fabbers, hit me (pun intended) with your proposals for the Funniest excuses for not being able to visit my mother and/or sit comfortably if I do. Let's have a laugh about it
The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: you DO NOT talk about Fight Club!
"
This reminds me of the time I screamed "what's in the box?!" at her before she had watched Seven... |
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How about I do the driving for you and bring you a blow up RING to sit on for the journey kill 2 bird with one stone you get your sore hoop looked after and still visit your mum. Lol and introduce me and your bum and problem solver x |
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By * Va OP Woman
over a year ago
Dublin |
"How about I do the driving for you and bring you a blow up RING to sit on for the journey kill 2 bird with one stone you get your sore hoop looked after and still visit your mum. Lol and introduce me and your bum and problem solver x"
Just to be clear: you want to meet my bum? Or my mum? It's worth being super clear on this front I reckon. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How about I do the driving for you and bring you a blow up RING to sit on for the journey kill 2 bird with one stone you get your sore hoop looked after and still visit your mum. Lol and introduce me and your bum and problem solver x
Just to be clear: you want to meet my bum? Or my mum? It's worth being super clear on this front I reckon. "
Lol  |
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