FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > What’s your stance
What’s your stance
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Hypothetically speaking. People blank you on fab, no interaction, ignores your messages, your picture etc. you then attend a meet and greet and or party and introduce yourself. You seem lovely, great craic and those people who ignored you are there and are now all over you like a rash, total transformation. Do you ignore them and say to yourself you weren’t interested when I tried to mail you or do you give them a chance to redeem oneself? |
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"Hypothetically speaking. People blank you on fab, no interaction, ignores your messages, your picture etc. you then attend a meet and greet and or party and introduce yourself. You seem lovely, great craic and those people who ignored you are there and are now all over you like a rash, total transformation. Do you ignore them and say to yourself you weren’t interested when I tried to mail you or do you give them a chance to redeem oneself? "
Like the gold digger vids on YouTube where the guy asks the girl for her number, she says no then runs after him when she sees his car. Like him you should drive off! |
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"Hypothetically speaking. People blank you on fab, no interaction, ignores your messages, your picture etc. you then attend a meet and greet and or party and introduce yourself. You seem lovely, great craic and those people who ignored you are there and are now all over you like a rash, total transformation. Do you ignore them and say to yourself you weren’t interested when I tried to mail you or do you give them a chance to redeem oneself?
Like the gold digger vids on YouTube where the guy asks the girl for her number, she says no then runs after him when she sees his car. Like him you should drive off!"
i think I’d agree. |
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People blank or block you on here for their own reasons.
Sometimes when you actually meet them they change their mind and you become friends.
Others may continue to ignore you. That's their loss and I'm sure those who have changed their mind about you would be happy to tell them so if they were prepared to listen.
Move on.
Lots more interesting and fun people on here than the small minded few who probably will do the same to those who currently consider them to be their best friends. |
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"People blank or block you on here for their own reasons.
Sometimes when you actually meet them they change their mind and you become friends.
Others may continue to ignore you. That's their loss and I'm sure those who have changed their mind about you would be happy to tell them so if they were prepared to listen.
Move on.
Lots more interesting and fun people on here than the small minded few who probably will do the same to those who currently consider them to be their best friends. "
that’s kind of what I’m saying. If someone blanked/blocked me on fab and tried interacting as if nothing in person, would i play along? I doubt it. I’d have no interest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People can be very different in person, so on here if I'm ignored which happens a lot, than when I meet at a social, usually end up seeing the real me in person. As they say never judge a book by its cover. |
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Any person that has me blocked on here, for no real major reason. I'm not really going to be interested in interacting with them on a face to face basis.
Personally I don't have anybody blocked, that I know of anyway's yet. As I like to give a person a chance, hopefully meet them face to face somewhere & see how thing's work out with them at it.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's really hard to chat on the forum I can find it funny some take offence and I get timeout on the fourm seems very unfair as we all love Banter and witt .. I'd just like to know what I said to offend anyone.. I call it banter |
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"It's really hard to chat on the forum I can find it funny some take offence and I get timeout on the fourm seems very unfair as we all love Banter and witt .. I'd just like to know what I said to offend anyone.. I call it banter"
 
Hello 
Welcome back.
Ya, it can be hard enough at times to know what to say & what not to say. Without someone throwing they're toy's out of the pram. For little to no reason.
Keep the head Lou.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's really hard to chat on the forum I can find it funny some take offence and I get timeout on the fourm seems very unfair as we all love Banter and witt .. I'd just like to know what I said to offend anyone.. I call it banter
Hello
Welcome back.
Ya, it can be hard enough at times to know what to say & what not to say. Without someone throwing they're toy's out of the pram. For little to no reason.
Keep the head Lou. "
Thank you x |
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"It's really hard to chat on the forum I can find it funny some take offence and I get timeout on the fourm seems very unfair as we all love Banter and witt .. I'd just like to know what I said to offend anyone.. I call it banter
Hello
Welcome back.
Ya, it can be hard enough at times to know what to say & what not to say. Without someone throwing they're toy's out of the pram. For little to no reason.
Keep the head Lou.
Thank you x "
Your welcome Lou. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hypothetically speaking. People blank you on fab, no interaction, ignores your messages, your picture etc. you then attend a meet and greet and or party and introduce yourself. You seem lovely, great craic and those people who ignored you are there and are now all over you like a rash, total transformation. Do you ignore them and say to yourself you weren’t interested when I tried to mail you or do you give them a chance to redeem oneself? "
Haha a similar theme to the other thread but if you don’t chat in person you’ll never really know what people are like |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dunno. If someone turns out to be completely different to how they initially appeared, I'm big enough and ugly enough to say I got it wrong. There's nothing I can do beyond that; if they choose to not accept that, that's fair enough and totally their perogative.
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By *ustyboyMan
over a year ago
Greater Dublin & Belfast now onwards |
Some times it’s just very difficult to express while writing to anyone about ourselves but when we meet anyone it’s much different . Some times completely awkward and sometimes very smooth and some end up good friends with benefits |
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By *ohnFKMan
over a year ago
Where the Streets Have No Name |
"Hypothetically speaking. People blank you on fab, no interaction, ignores your messages, your picture etc. you then attend a meet and greet and or party and introduce yourself. You seem lovely, great craic and those people who ignored you are there and are now all over you like a rash, total transformation. Do you ignore them and say to yourself you weren’t interested when I tried to mail you or do you give them a chance to redeem oneself? "
Goodness no,..I wouldn't have that approach.
Completely understand if a single female (or couple) hasn't responded to or acknowledged a message etc. given the volume of traffic they have to deal with. I'd feel a bit precious (maybe entitled even) if I held that against them .
I don't see that there's any 'redeeming' required 
If you meet someone & you get on, so be it. Previous fab activity (or lack of, as it were) wouldn't come into it; for me anyway.
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"Hypothetically speaking. People blank you on fab, no interaction, ignores your messages, your picture etc. you then attend a meet and greet and or party and introduce yourself. You seem lovely, great craic and those people who ignored you are there and are now all over you like a rash, total transformation. Do you ignore them and say to yourself you weren’t interested when I tried to mail you or do you give them a chance to redeem oneself? "
We dont interact much on here with people through messages. It's certainly nothing personal. Mrs finds the whole site kinda boring in that refard, tbh.
We much prefer to meet people in the flesh. As long as that person had not been rude or insulting previously, we'd chat away, no problem! |
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I've had the flip side of this with people I've never spoken to before contacting me on the back of a comment in a social thread.
They say how much they are looking forward to meeting me on the night.
Then when I introduce myself at the event they have completely blanked me and not even acknowledged my hello.
That is usually followed up by a message the next day asking why I wasn't at the event or wondering why I didn't come over and say hi?
I can understand if they weren't attracted to me but they were the ones who made contact in the first place and made such a big fuss about meeting.
If they weren't attracted what is the point of the message the following day?
Unlike the point made above, arseholes come in all shapes and sizes and many of them don't deserve one chance never mind two. |
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"
(Snip)
Goodness no,..I wouldn't have that approach.
Completely understand if a single female (or couple) hasn't responded to or acknowledged a message etc. given the volume of traffic they have to deal with. I'd feel a bit precious (maybe entitled even) if I held that against them .
I don't see that there's any 'redeeming' required
If you meet someone & you get on, so be it. Previous fab activity (or lack of, as it were) wouldn't come into it; for me anyway.
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Yes that's how I'd see it also. |
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I wouldn't be bearing grudges or deciding who I did or didn't want to talk to in advance. Just take everyone as you see them on the day. If you haven't met them before then you'll have no idea who they are anyway. |
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I can't help but feel like fab life and real life are two completely different things.
Here we have persona's and for better or worse we play the game. Who the hell knows what's happening on the other end of the screen.
So no. There's very little I would take personally on here and wouldnt see the point in carrying it over.
I mean sure there's the odd dry shite who's in unlikely to be any different but I'm always happy to be wrong. |
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By *ingpot!Man
over a year ago
West Cork |
"We would give them a chance. We’ve met people at socials or vanilla that are far different offline than online.
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This ^^
Some people are just not very good at showing their real life personality online.. and for whatever reason the block/ignore happened in the first place, we might all be in different circumstances and/or mindsets at a future time.
I think having an open mind and being respectful of others' space and boundaries should always be paramount   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We will add a different swing to it. If you didn’t like someone’s picture on here, have you ever seen them in the flesh and thought differently? "
Rarely. There are people who have become more attractive to me over time as I've got to know them better but that's not something that's peculiar to Fab. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We will add a different swing to it. If you didn’t like someone’s picture on here, have you ever seen them in the flesh and thought differently? "
Nope |
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
Hey Sillywrapper I'd love to know the logistics of this: Would you go around on a meet and greet and ask everyone their fab name to crosscheck with your block list and then ignore accordingly? 
What if you find one of those fabbers really attractive, would you still show her the cold shoulder because of her fab offence?
If I were to go on a m&g I'd go open-minded without bringing fab forum or private messaging animosities with me. Isn't the purpose of those m&g exactly to meet other fabbers in person easily and without the online restrictions? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People sometimes present themselves differently on and off line, some are better with the written word, others with the spoken word. Someone not being taken with an initial message or pictures is not the same as someone who blocks because they consider a person obnoxious. That said, we all encounter people on a daily basis with whom we are obliged to interact on a civil basis, it's not that difficult. |
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"Hey Sillywrapper I'd love to know the logistics of this: Would you go around on a meet and greet and ask everyone their fab name to crosscheck with your block list and then ignore accordingly?
What if you find one of those fabbers really attractive, would you still show her the cold shoulder because of her fab offence?
If I were to go on a m&g I'd go open-minded without bringing fab forum or private messaging animosities with me. Isn't the purpose of those m&g exactly to meet other fabbers in person easily and without the online restrictions?"
obviously at at meet and greet you’re going to find out who people are by their fab username. If I knew that said person had no interest in conversing/getting to know one another on fab, would I chat away to them in person? Probably not. This is all hypothetical though. There is probably little to no chance of me been at a meet and greet. Number 1, I don’t know would I attend on my own, number 2) any weekend I’m free I’m out as it is. I have an active life outside of work. The face pic thing is prob a bit different. I have seen women before look better in the flesh then in pictures. |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
There's probably people on here that have me blocked and think I'm a dickhead but have said hello at socials because its just being polite when you're introduced
No biggie but apart from people you actually know before you go then you've never seen most people's face so dont know if you're avoiding anyone from fab
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"We will add a different swing to it. If you didn’t like someone’s picture on here, have you ever seen them in the flesh and thought differently? "
Sure. Not everyone is good with or has a good camera. People who don't feel photogenic get nervous. Tinder is replete with filtered photos and grimaces.
A photo only captures a moment. I can be captured with a winning smile. |
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By *panishRebelMan
over a year ago
Alicante Spain, and Cork City Ireland |
It seems silly to me to blank people. No one is under any obligation to reply to a message. There may be a hundred and one reasons why not.
A married couple etc have a different dynamic. There is exclusivity. That's fine. Good even. I say that despite being a divorcee.
But one of the attractions of fab is the freedom from dirision, sulking, control that traditional relationships have. The pleasure of respect and freedom to enjoy physical, intelligent, sexy people when and as people mutually come together. No control needed. Those who are couples ideally have the trust and depth to bypass jealousy and fear.
In this environment, blanking people seems opposite to openness that by coming into this community, we implicitly agree to.
Rant over.... Coffee time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hypothetically speaking. People blank you on fab, no interaction, ignores your messages, your picture etc. you then attend a meet and greet and or party and introduce yourself. You seem lovely, great craic and those people who ignored you are there and are now all over you like a rash, total transformation. Do you ignore them and say to yourself you weren’t interested when I tried to mail you or do you give them a chance to redeem oneself? "
Fabswingers in a sense is no different than tinder or other dating apps.
There is far more men than women so the ratio is heavily skewed. Some people probably dont take it serious and use it as an ego boost.
And then you have the option of choice paradox, where having too many options stops someone from making any.
Must of the above issues are not present in social settings. I wouldn't worried too much anyway
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I started using the forums on the advice of a fab friend to contribute and comment on a topics and get to know other members. However! I’ve noticed if you have any view other than the populist or in some cases the OP on a particular topic you are liable to get blocked. I’ve just been listening to a discussion the radio about our inability to accept another’s viewpoint that may be differing our own in today’s society. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I started using the forums on the advice of a fab friend to contribute and comment on a topics and get to know other members. However! I’ve noticed if you have any view other than the populist or in some cases the OP on a particular topic you are liable to get blocked. I’ve just been listening to a discussion the radio about our inability to accept another’s viewpoint that may be differing our own in today’s society. "
People are entitled to hold whatever views they like. However I totally reserve the right to not fuck those whose views are diametrically opposed to mine and thus have no problem blocking those people on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Who knows, somedays I might be one way and some days another. A lot might depend on how horny I was. Some people just have a certain look about them that lets you know they have the same filthy mind as you; those people are my kind of people and I hold no grudges.
I have found it to be mostly the other way, the pictures are far more flattering than the reality, but I look forward to being surprised.
Everyone should block the people they don't want to interact with and unblock if they change their mind , or not |
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"People can be very different in person, so on here if I'm ignored which happens a lot, than when I meet at a social, usually end up seeing the real me in person. As they say never judge a book by its cover. "
Your are only judged by the cover on here..not who you are |
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By *oudicaWoman
over a year ago
Kilkenny |
I’m not looking to meet single guys through online interactions and I state this quite clearly on my profile. I’m here mostly to meet couples - because of that, I don’t reply to mails from guys, so any who do message might might consider that I’m blanking them (because in essence I am).
I’ve learned over the years that it’s much better for me to meet guys via socials, parties etc and to see if there’s a mutual attraction in person so I often go to those events with a wish list of guys I’m hoping to bump into. I treat it like a secret speed dating event where I make it my business to interact with them with the view to following up with them afterwards if I felt that there was a spark….or we’d had a cheeky snog 
If one of those singles gave me the cold shoulder because I didn’t reply to his mail on here then so be it, it’d be a pity, potentially a missed opportunity for sure, but I’d move on. NEXT!!!  |
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"I’m not looking to meet single guys through online interactions and I state this quite clearly on my profile. I’m here mostly to meet couples - because of that, I don’t reply to mails from guys, so any who do message might might consider that I’m blanking them (because in essence I am).
I’ve learned over the years that it’s much better for me to meet guys via socials, parties etc and to see if there’s a mutual attraction in person so I often go to those events with a wish list of guys I’m hoping to bump into. I treat it like a secret speed dating event where I make it my business to interact with them with the view to following up with them afterwards if I felt that there was a spark….or we’d had a cheeky snog
If one of those singles gave me the cold shoulder because I didn’t reply to his mail on here then so be it, it’d be a pity, potentially a missed opportunity for sure, but I’d move on. NEXT!!! "
Noted |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just do me.
Try to be nice and kind to people.
Love me or hate me that's up to the person.
I'll chat to anyone at a social, some people you'll get along with some you'll get a vibe they're not for you.
Same as life.
Never take fab to seriously, everyone is here for their own reasons.
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