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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have a vanilla date this week, its the first and not an overly big deal, but got me thinking at what point do you tell a potential partner about your enjoyment of this world and all the bold things it has to offer? Do you mention it at all? Is it a relationship deal breaker for some? Or is it just one of those things you do until you find a new partner?
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By *XlalaXXWoman
over a year ago
tipperary |
"I have a vanilla date this week, its the first and not an overly big deal, but got me thinking at what point do you tell a potential partner about your enjoyment of this world and all the bold things it has to offer? Do you mention it at all? Is it a relationship deal breaker for some? Or is it just one of those things you do until you find a new partner?
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Im thinking about dating again .
Would u not date somebody that enjoys this world too. ( I don’t mean me btw) .
I think it’s the way forward just dating sexually open people. ( I hate the word swinger)
From my opinion anyway I’m turned off relationships.
The amount of men on here that r attached and see no problem cheating on their mrs would turn anybody off ever being in a relationship.
I hope your date goes well x |
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I guess just focus on the date…and just see what the connection is like on day one… of course if there’s is a mutual spark then some soft flirting is good…
I think there are ways to “sneak” it into conversations on subsequent dates to gauge their reaction on where they are at in terms of sexual openness.
Who knows…she/he might be “the one” and someone worth giving up/parking this side of your life for if they not in to it…. And what would be bad about that!?
One step at a time… enjoy the date… treat her with respect… and let fate & the universe take care of the rest! 
Hope it works out for you both - whatever that is 
Enjoy |
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By *ingpot!Man
over a year ago
West Cork |
I think it's perfectly reasonable to state upfront that you're ethically non-monogamous (ENM), even in your dating profile.
It will severely limit the number of people interested in you, especially in Ireland, but if you wish to continue the "lifestyle" without deception, that's the way to go.
There are some dating apps that seem to have a higher number of ENM-positive people on them compared to other apps: POF, Feeld, OkC, Tinder
Best of luck OP, dating is hard! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm of the opinion that honesty is the way to go as soon as you think you might be interested in a future with someone, lies are no basis for a healthy relationship. If they can't accept you as you are, then they're not a good match anyway |
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By *ingpot!Man
over a year ago
West Cork |
"I'm of the opinion that honesty is the way to go as soon as you think you might be interested in a future with someone, lies are no basis for a healthy relationship. If they can't accept you as you are, then they're not a good match anyway"
Agreed  |
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I have it written on the bottom of my Tinder and Feeld profiles that I'm looking for a fwb and that I'm ENM so it's clear from the outset.
I'm not really interested in meeting anyone that doesn't share the same ideals as me sexually.
It does limit the possibilities and I think that saves a lot of time for everyone. |
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"I have a vanilla date this week, its the first and not an overly big deal, but got me thinking at what point do you tell a potential partner about your enjoyment of this world and all the bold things it has to offer? Do you mention it at all? Is it a relationship deal breaker for some? Or is it just one of those things you do until you find a new partner?
"
I would wait until you've had a really good ride, as she stares at you dumbstruck and in awe, you say 'learnt it on fab  ' |
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By *ingpot!Man
over a year ago
West Cork |
"I have a vanilla date this week, its the first and not an overly big deal, but got me thinking at what point do you tell a potential partner about your enjoyment of this world and all the bold things it has to offer? Do you mention it at all? Is it a relationship deal breaker for some? Or is it just one of those things you do until you find a new partner?
I would wait until you've had a really good ride, as she stares at you dumbstruck and in awe, you say 'learnt it on fab ' "
Lolllll this is the way |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have a vanilla date this week, its the first and not an overly big deal, but got me thinking at what point do you tell a potential partner about your enjoyment of this world and all the bold things it has to offer? Do you mention it at all? Is it a relationship deal breaker for some? Or is it just one of those things you do until you find a new partner?
I would wait until you've had a really good ride, as she stares at you dumbstruck and in awe, you say 'learnt it on fab ' "
hahahaha  |
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"I would wait until you've had a really good ride, as she stares at you dumbstruck and in awe, you say 'learnt it on fab ' "
Exactly! Vanilla dates should be fun 
Seeking relationships, well that's a horse of a different colour. Who I am and the freedoms the lifestyle brings, that should be nurtured with a like minded soul. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would wait until you've had a really good ride, as she stares at you dumbstruck and in awe, you say 'learnt it on fab '
Exactly! Vanilla dates should be fun
Seeking relationships, well that's a horse of a different colour. Who I am and the freedoms the lifestyle brings, that should be nurtured with a like minded soul. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hope the date goes well, not sure if I'd admit on a first date to been on fab but after a few conversations could suss it out.
I'd like to date someone from fab as can enjoy the kinky side and the Vanilla side |
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"I would wait until you've had a really good ride, as she stares at you dumbstruck and in awe, you say 'learnt it on fab '
Exactly! Vanilla dates should be fun
Seeking relationships, well that's a horse of a different colour. Who I am and the freedoms the lifestyle brings, that should be nurtured with a like minded soul.
"
PM me, I want to know what you're going to wear. |
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Went on 2 dates with a vanilla guy last year, he was quite open about sex and experimenting so told him about fab. Initial response was good, but then he got a little too into it and wanted to set up a couples profile straight away ... I baulked! Put me off him tbh because I wasn't looking for that and explained that to him, he did not like it. |
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My fwb and I go on dates. This lifestyle is new to her. The first time we go got together I explained my lifestyle up front and she is making her own choices about her expectations and boundaries. It's a conversation it is evolving as we do.
And yes! When we talk about it, it's pillow talk |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
In a fab world I'm vanilla dating
We met at a social in Belfast,saw each other at hotel socials after that but only actually hooked up at a social in Athlone
We're seeing each other 19 months now,do all the usually dating stuff,go for meals,go to the pictures,go for weekends away and walks on beaches and we're going away next month on a foreign holiday
Its not really a fab relationship because we don't have a couples account or play as a couple but it suits us both and if either of us wants to play with someone else we'll be honest and discuss it first
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By *j69funCouple
over a year ago
kildare |
I was on here as a single male b4 and left as I wanted to go back dating. I was lucky to meet the Gorgeous Miss j and we hit off straight away , after a couple dates we were chatting about life and things we did and would like to try and I just came out and said I tried swinging and it was abit of fun. She just replied oh that sounds like fun , never done anything like that. So over a couple of conversations about it she said I'd b up for trying it. So here we are enjoying our vanilla life and loving swinging together. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would wait until you've had a really good ride, as she stares at you dumbstruck and in awe, you say 'learnt it on fab '
Exactly! Vanilla dates should be fun
Seeking relationships, well that's a horse of a different colour. Who I am and the freedoms the lifestyle brings, that should be nurtured with a like minded soul.
PM me, I want to know what you're going to wear. "
Haha ill let you know. |
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I met the guy I’m seeing on Facebook dating I wouldn’t say it was vanilla.
He came across my fab profile and sent me a message asking about my profile
I was like oh shite, wtf and then went he’s here too
It was a funny conversation but it means we can be more honest about going to social and events etc.
So you never know what they might be into
Go enjoy your date and don’t stress about the what ifs |
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By *hilhurwellMan
over a year ago
Würzburg, Bavaria, Germany |
Yeah, I would prefer dating someone in the lifestyle. At least, I know she's game for sexual exploration. In your case, it depends on a number of factors. How much you want her, how much of a risk it may become after spending your time preparing for that moment etc. |
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Firstly OP, go on the date & enjoy it. 
Personally I wouldn't say anything about being on Fab or the likes on a first date. I'd be trying to get to know the other people more personally before saying to them. Like what was already said to you, bring it up in pillow talk. Being on Fab, wouldn't be the only thing that I'd hold back on, not telling a person on a first date. Over a few dates you/I'd could say more about yourself/meself. Sometime the less said the better, in the short term anyway's. If it does look like it going towards a relationship, then yes tell them about it.
Like if you haven't said anything about (ENM) on your profile. Put you tell them on the first date. You could put the fear of god into them. As they mightn't be able to get there head around it (ASAP). I'm not saying that you should change your life in anyway for them either. They'll need to either accept you or not, for them selves.
Some people will say I'm wrong about all of this.
Go on the date, enjoy it & take it from there OP. |
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