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Ladies are face pictures a deal breaker
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Lots of people on here both male and female make demands on their profile and honestly it's up to the individual as to what they will and won't send we gladly send pics at a suitable time but never first message and getting dick pics in a first message just puts us off instantly |
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Not necessarily needed in a first message, but it helps to tell if there is an attraction so as to not waste anyone's time or later disappointment. For us it IS necessary before a face to face meet though, but will happily send ours first. |
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When I had a single profile it was definitely a deal breaker for me as I had too many bad and awkward experiences with people who go by "let's chat and see how it goes"
You chat with someone for a while, establish some sort of connection, they finally send you a face pic and you're just not attracted to them in any way.
Then the aul "I'm sorry you're not my type" "whyyyyyy nooooot, but we get on so well" chestnut starts and you end up having to eventually block that person because of their hurt feelings.
Rather get the face pic thing out of the way asap and get on with either chatting and establishing connection or going separate ways.
Missus |
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"When I had a single profile it was definitely a deal breaker for me as I had too many bad and awkward experiences with people who go by "let's chat and see how it goes"
You chat with someone for a while, establish some sort of connection, they finally send you a face pic and you're just not attracted to them in any way.
Then the aul "I'm sorry you're not my type" "whyyyyyy nooooot, but we get on so well" chestnut starts and you end up having to eventually block that person because of their hurt feelings.
Rather get the face pic thing out of the way asap and get on with either chatting and establishing connection or going separate ways.
Missus "
Agreed ^^
Totally understand why people are reluctant and unwilling to share face pics upfront and that's absolutely ok.
We ask for it as it's important to us so cringe a bit at being called arrogant but each to their own- not everyone can or wishes to afford being more public about their sex life.. no one is better or worse for it in our opinions, just different life circumstances and/or views about sex/kink/swinging/etc 
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It's a catch-22.
Do you ...
A. Swap face pics first without knowing their personality or
B. Chat first (the same convo every time) without knowing what they look like or
C. Arrange a social meet and risk zero attraction after going to the effort.
None of the above are ideal so we mostly (not exclusively) prefer meeting lots of people in the one 'sitting' at socials/parties and going from there. That's what works for us 
But to answer your question op, I wouldn't send a face pic with a first message but it does limit your options if you don't. Get yourself to a social and meet people face to face, that's a much better option and more successful. |
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With so many filters being used on face pics I'd be skeptical. Skin like melted ice-cream, doe eyes and taken at stupid angles. How do you reply to those?
And why do men hide behind sunglasses when sending a pic.
I'm not giving out by the way. I neither demand them or send them so I'm a complete no no for the majority  |
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By *affa31Woman
over a year ago
Galway |
"When I had a single profile it was definitely a deal breaker for me as I had too many bad and awkward experiences with people who go by "let's chat and see how it goes"
You chat with someone for a while, establish some sort of connection, they finally send you a face pic and you're just not attracted to them in any way.
Then the aul "I'm sorry you're not my type" "whyyyyyy nooooot, but we get on so well" chestnut starts and you end up having to eventually block that person because of their hurt feelings.
Rather get the face pic thing out of the way asap and get on with either chatting and establishing connection or going separate ways.
Missus
Agreed ^^
Totally understand why people are reluctant and unwilling to share face pics upfront and that's absolutely ok.
We ask for it as it's important to us so cringe a bit at being called arrogant but each to their own- not everyone can or wishes to afford being more public about their sex life.. no one is better or worse for it in our opinions, just different life circumstances and/or views about sex/kink/swinging/etc
"
Tbf it’s more the people who won’t send a face pic themselves but demand one in their first message who are the arrogant ones. Ye have public face pics so I see it as less of a problem.
As always, people have to make their own decisions on whether they send a face pic. I have a problem with guys thinking the only way they’ll get a reply is to send a face pic because that’s what they’ve been told by people. |
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By *3nsesMan
over a year ago
Dublin |
If you have a face picture on your profile I think asking for a face picture in return is perfectly fine, and I'm sure most people do. If someone know what you look like it's only fair you return the favour.
The arrogant ones are the ones who have nonfsce pictures and but say in their profile that they will only respond to messages with a face pc/won't even respond to a message without a face pic etc. I'd say about 99%, of those profiles won't return a face either if not interested.
But, arrogance attracts arrogance do maybe that's the purpose. |
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"It's a catch-22.
Do you ...
A. Swap face pics first without knowing their personality or
B. Chat first (the same convo every time) without knowing what they look like or
C. Arrange a social meet and risk zero attraction after going to the effort.
None of the above are ideal so we mostly (not exclusively) prefer meeting lots of people in the one 'sitting' at socials/parties and going from there. That's what works for us
But to answer your question op, I wouldn't send a face pic with a first message but it does limit your options if you don't. Get yourself to a social and meet people face to face, that's a much better option and more successful."
As is often the case I couldn't have said it better. The conundrum is what it is.
After attending a few lovely group socials I'm quite happy that its preferable to establish that rapport in person too.
I've had face pics sent to me that did not translate into the real world. Filters really can alter reality.
Also been asked for a pic and refused when I said you first and of course I've been blanked after sending and got nothing back. Won't make those mistakes again.
It's not a requirement OP. Go with your gut. |
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I’m more interested in just a few messages back and forth (not a never ending pen pal cos my attention span does not last that long) before a face pic. No matter how pretty a person/couple is, if the conversation doesn’t gel I may not be interested in a face pic tbh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We prefer to get to know someone first and if we wanted to plan a meet would request a face pic. If they weren't comfortable with it, that's fine too. It's not really a deal breaker but much higher chances of a meet with a face pic.(with us anyways)
While personality def comes first, there has to be some attraction there right?
In saying that we've received face pics of some really stunning people who we refused to meet because of their personalities
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I would like to add that I once went on a blind date with a woman that had a hidden profile and it was truly exceptional.
She unhid for profile for ten minutes so I could read her (very good) verifications. She had no photos beyond a profile pic.
It was amazing and I would do it again in the right circumstances. Her messages were just so eloquent I knew I had to meet her. The not knowing and pre meet tension made it incredibly exciting. |
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"I would like to add that I once went on a blind date with a woman that had a hidden profile and it was truly exceptional.
She unhid for profile for ten minutes so I could read her (very good) verifications. She had no photos beyond a profile pic.
It was amazing and I would do it again in the right circumstances. Her messages were just so eloquent I knew I had to meet her. The not knowing and pre meet tension made it incredibly exciting."
You got lucky that you were attracted to her though. Could easily have been otherwise which could have been awkward and frustrating if babysitting and travel possibly hotel costs etc. |
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"I would like to add that I once went on a blind date with a woman that had a hidden profile and it was truly exceptional.
She unhid for profile for ten minutes so I could read her (very good) verifications. She had no photos beyond a profile pic.
It was amazing and I would do it again in the right circumstances. Her messages were just so eloquent I knew I had to meet her. The not knowing and pre meet tension made it incredibly exciting.
You got lucky that you were attracted to her though. Could easily have been otherwise which could have been awkward and frustrating if babysitting and travel possibly hotel costs etc. "
It was a coffee meet first and yep I rolled the dice and knew the risk. Attraction aside I was very confident I would have a good time with a woman who could write like that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's a catch-22.
Do you ...
A. Swap face pics first without knowing their personality or
B. Chat first (the same convo every time) without knowing what they look like or
C. Arrange a social meet and risk zero attraction after going to the effort.
None of the above are ideal so we mostly (not exclusively) prefer meeting lots of people in the one 'sitting' at socials/parties and going from there. That's what works for us
But to answer your question op, I wouldn't send a face pic with a first message but it does limit your options if you don't. Get yourself to a social and meet people face to face, that's a much better option and more successful."
I would concur with all of the above from _ofusplus. Its one thing to be attracted to headless bodies but it's important to be attracted to a person's face...eyes and smile are my thing. Ideal combination is attractive face, body and soul |
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"I would like to add that I once went on a blind date with a woman that had a hidden profile and it was truly exceptional.
She unhid for profile for ten minutes so I could read her (very good) verifications. She had no photos beyond a profile pic.
It was amazing and I would do it again in the right circumstances. Her messages were just so eloquent I knew I had to meet her. The not knowing and pre meet tension made it incredibly exciting.
You got lucky that you were attracted to her though. Could easily have been otherwise which could have been awkward and frustrating if babysitting and travel possibly hotel costs etc.
It was a coffee meet first and yep I rolled the dice and knew the risk. Attraction aside I was very confident I would have a good time with a woman who could write like that."
Yes, gut instinct and doing your due diligence often avoids no shows and other nasty surprises. |
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"It's a catch-22.
Do you ...
A. Swap face pics first without knowing their personality or
B. Chat first (the same convo every time) without knowing what they look like or
C. Arrange a social meet and risk zero attraction after going to the effort.
None of the above are ideal so we mostly (not exclusively) prefer meeting lots of people in the one 'sitting' at socials/parties and going from there. That's what works for us
But to answer your question op, I wouldn't send a face pic with a first message but it does limit your options if you don't. Get yourself to a social and meet people face to face, that's a much better option and more successful.
I would concur with all of the above from _ofusplus. Its one thing to be attracted to headless bodies but it's important to be attracted to a person's face...eyes and smile are my thing. Ideal combination is attractive face, body and soul"
Hubby only said it a few days ago, the face is the first thing he is attracted to, followed by personality and then body shape |
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"When I had a single profile it was definitely a deal breaker for me as I had too many bad and awkward experiences with people who go by "let's chat and see how it goes"
You chat with someone for a while, establish some sort of connection, they finally send you a face pic and you're just not attracted to them in any way.
Then the aul "I'm sorry you're not my type" "whyyyyyy nooooot, but we get on so well" chestnut starts and you end up having to eventually block that person because of their hurt feelings.
Rather get the face pic thing out of the way asap and get on with either chatting and establishing connection or going separate ways.
Missus "
Well said Missus |
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By *xcel21Man
over a year ago
dublin |
If I'm texting a girl I send face pic with first message and she's interested she comes back and if not its grand. No point in spending hours chatting to someone and realising that one or both don't fancy the look of the other |
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I personally have no interest in wasting my free time talking to people I have no attraction towards. I’ve enough up of myself that people can message me based on if they like what they see. And if they like what they see, then I expect to be afforded the same. |
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"I personally have no interest in wasting my free time talking to people I have no attraction towards. I’ve enough up of myself that people can message me based on if they like what they see. And if they like what they see, then I expect to be afforded the same. "
Yip. Totally my attitude too.
Missus |
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By *etergemmaCouple
over a year ago
South Dublin Area |
Why waste your time talking to someone if you dont find them attractive? Most of us are here for same reason.
Thats how tinder and swipe right works after all. Thats why its so successful.
Sending a face pic and a decent message as a guy cuts through all the bs. Its the lads that are decent looking generally do as they know its a great feature and will get them attention.
Imagine spending days talking to someone and he shows up looking like voldermort?
Madness |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
"Why waste your time talking to someone if you dont find them attractive? Most of us are here for same reason.
Thats how tinder and swipe right works after all. Thats why its so successful.
Sending a face pic and a decent message as a guy cuts through all the bs. Its the lads that are decent looking generally do as they know its a great feature and will get them attention.
Imagine spending days talking to someone and he shows up looking like voldermort?
Madness"
Whats wrong with looking like Voldermort |
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My face pic may not be a deal breaker but it has probably broken a few mirrors and cameras. Also broke a few hearts in its day.
Was thinking of putting it up on DoneDeal to see if there would be any takers. |
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