FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Married guilt after playing
Married guilt after playing
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Someone asked me do I feel guilty after playing with someone I met on fab. I thought about it, and decided why would I feel guilty if I was intimate with another woman when there's no intimacy at home. Even after trying so may ways to encourage intimacy at home.
I’m married and I don’t feel guilty after being to bed with a woman. I so enjoy our nakedness, our kissing, our stimulation of each other. I adore the nipple sucking, the moaning, feeling her bum or any part of her. The joy of cumming and kissing.
I don’t feel guilty though I have been so intimate, I feel happy, refreshed, yes, so happy. Many may judge me as unfair, and wrong, but I guess we all have our own story. |
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Everyone deserves happiness, you included. But so does your wife and that starts with a bit of honesty from you.
Have you discussed the lack of intimacy? Have you sought counselling? If not, why not? A lack of intimacy is a big problem in a marriage and needs to be addressed.
If she has no interest in intimacy, can you come to an arrangement where you don't need to go behind her back?
No judgement here, you both deserve to be happy but it appears that neither if you are happy at present and that needs to change for both your sakes. Good luck with it all.
Mrs. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Everyone deserves happiness, you included. But so does your wife and that starts with a bit of honesty from you.
Have you discussed the lack of intimacy? Have you sought counselling? If not, why not? A lack of intimacy is a big problem in a marriage and needs to be addressed.
If she has no interest in intimacy, can you come to an arrangement where you don't need to go behind her back?
No judgement here, you both deserve to be happy but it appears that neither if you are happy at present and that needs to change for both your sakes. Good luck with it all.
Mrs."
Thanks for your message. Yes, we've discussed it all, but the deal breaker is letting me play.. |
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"Everyone deserves happiness, you included. But so does your wife and that starts with a bit of honesty from you.
Have you discussed the lack of intimacy? Have you sought counselling? If not, why not? A lack of intimacy is a big problem in a marriage and needs to be addressed.
If she has no interest in intimacy, can you come to an arrangement where you don't need to go behind her back?
No judgement here, you both deserve to be happy but it appears that neither if you are happy at present and that needs to change for both your sakes. Good luck with it all.
Mrs.
Thanks for your message. Yes, we've discussed it all, but the deal breaker is letting me play.."
So what made you decide to "break the deal" ( might you explain what this deal is ) ? |
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"Everyone deserves happiness, you included. But so does your wife and that starts with a bit of honesty from you.
Have you discussed the lack of intimacy? Have you sought counselling? If not, why not? A lack of intimacy is a big problem in a marriage and needs to be addressed.
If she has no interest in intimacy, can you come to an arrangement where you don't need to go behind her back?
No judgement here, you both deserve to be happy but it appears that neither if you are happy at present and that needs to change for both your sakes. Good luck with it all.
Mrs.
Thanks for your message. Yes, we've discussed it all, but the deal breaker is letting me play.."
You shouldn't have to go without sex for the rest of your life, that's not fair nor realistic. But you're playing with fire by playing away, you could lose everything. You both need counselling in my opinion.
Not sure if you're looking for advice or looking for validation of what you are doing. You can ignore my comments if it's the latter. |
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"Everyone deserves happiness, you included. But so does your wife and that starts with a bit of honesty from you.
Have you discussed the lack of intimacy? Have you sought counselling? If not, why not? A lack of intimacy is a big problem in a marriage and needs to be addressed.
If she has no interest in intimacy, can you come to an arrangement where you don't need to go behind her back?
No judgement here, you both deserve to be happy but it appears that neither if you are happy at present and that needs to change for both your sakes. Good luck with it all.
Mrs.
Thanks for your message. Yes, we've discussed it all, but the deal breaker is letting me play..
You shouldn't have to go without sex for the rest of your life, that's not fair nor realistic. But you're playing with fire by playing away, you could lose everything. You both need counselling in my opinion.
Not sure if you're looking for advice or looking for validation of what you are doing. You can ignore my comments if it's the latter."
Playing with fire will only result in you being burned.
If you can't come to an arrangement, then perhaps the best option is to walk (if the finances permit it)
Either way, it's going to cost you. The question is, what's the ultimate price that your willing to pay? |
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By *anandJCouple
over a year ago
Citywest |
"Someone asked me do I feel guilty after playing with someone I met on fab. I thought about it, and decided why would I feel guilty if I was intimate with another woman when there's no intimacy at home. Even after trying so may ways to encourage intimacy at home.
I’m married and I don’t feel guilty after being to bed with a woman. I so enjoy our nakedness, our kissing, our stimulation of each other. I adore the nipple sucking, the moaning, feeling her bum or any part of her. The joy of cumming and kissing.
I don’t feel guilty though I have been so intimate, I feel happy, refreshed, yes, so happy. Many may judge me as unfair, and wrong, but I guess we all have our own story. "
You do feel guilty…. Otherwise you wouldn’t publicly confess, expecting a tap in the back… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah you are on a swinging site to play away??? ...beats the whole point of swinging ,having trust with your partner both enjoying it sharing things that you enjoy.
Maybe leave your partner as its not all about you if you are married is it? Maybe tell your partner you are on here see how guilty you feel when you have to face the reality of breaking her trust. I'm sorry its not each to their own if you're married and cheating. Maybe be honest and separate as just comes across selfish . Mr here BTW. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your marriage is over why torture yourself and her and how ever else is involved. You are not the first and you won’t be the last so just do the decent thing when you are strong enough as your mental health will suffer. |
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By *aid backMan
over a year ago
by a lake with my rod out |
"Someone asked me do I feel guilty after playing with someone I met on fab. I thought about it, and decided why would I feel guilty if I was intimate with another woman when there's no intimacy at home. Even after trying so may ways to encourage intimacy at home.
I’m married and I don’t feel guilty after being to bed with a woman. I so enjoy our nakedness, our kissing, our stimulation of each other. I adore the nipple sucking, the moaning, feeling her bum or any part of her. The joy of cumming and kissing.
I don’t feel guilty though I have been so intimate, I feel happy, refreshed, yes, so happy. Many may judge me as unfair, and wrong, but I guess we all have our own story.
You do feel guilty…. Otherwise you wouldn’t publicly confess, expecting a tap in the back… "
If she finds out he'll probably get a double tap in the back of his skull |
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By *aid backMan
over a year ago
by a lake with my rod out |
"Yeah you are on a swinging site to play away??? ...beats the whole point of swinging ,having trust with your partner both enjoying it sharing things that you enjoy.
Maybe leave your partner as its not all about you if you are married is it? Maybe tell your partner you are on here see how guilty you feel when you have to face the reality of breaking her trust. I'm sorry its not each to their own if you're married and cheating. Maybe be honest and separate as just comes across selfish . Mr here BTW. "
Couldn't have put it better myself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe the OP loves his wife but isn't getting satisfied at home so what, who are we do judge if we don't want to meet married or attached don't.. move on  I'm like a dog with a bone I can't let it go lol, I'm on the site along time and threads like this makes me laugh,people saying they won't meet married and the amount of messages I get saying I met her but she wouldn't let me give a verif  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe the OP loves his wife but isn't getting satisfied at home so what, who are we do judge if we don't want to meet married or attached don't.. move on I'm like a dog with a bone I can't let it go lol, I'm on the site along time and threads like this makes me laugh,people saying they won't meet married and the amount of messages I get saying I met her but she wouldn't let me give a verif "
So true |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's a topic I feel very strongly abt sorry .. I'll probably be on the sin bin for 48hrs but it's worth it lol"
Never have guessed.p.s did he gets his balls sorted?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just found out my cousin and his wife are living separate lives under the same roof. She found out he's been having an affair with another woman, has spent nights and weekends away with this woman, has met this other woman's family and friends, has spent time with her son, yet ignores his own, spent the night with this woman while his wife went into labour. He has destroyed two women , yes I get each to their own and we don't know what goes on behind closed doors but are the consequences of the hurt and damage been caused just for some intimacy justified?
If no intimacy why stay? That might seem like a simple question but life is so short we deserve to be happy ,everyone deserves to be happy, the material things like houses , money etc none of that matters.
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"Everyone deserves happiness, you included. But so does your wife and that starts with a bit of honesty from you.
Have you discussed the lack of intimacy? Have you sought counselling? If not, why not? A lack of intimacy is a big problem in a marriage and needs to be addressed.
If she has no interest in intimacy, can you come to an arrangement where you don't need to go behind her back?
No judgement here, you both deserve to be happy but it appears that neither if you are happy at present and that needs to change for both your sakes. Good luck with it all.
Mrs."
I echo this sentiment.
OP I would add you are indeed an adult and old enough to weigh the risk of the fall out. Your wife however, has not consented to take that risk with you and it's my belief that you do not have the right to subvert the consent of another person like that when the stakes are so high. |
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I'm not judging you OP or trying to either. As I & other's, don't know what goes on behind closed doors.
When I was a teenager, up to my late twenties. I wouldn't have no interest in knowing a person that was married. But slept with another person(for personal reasons to me). As I've got older that has changed my way of thinking with people that do this. As I don't have the right to judge them people & I don't know what's happening behind closed doors.
You said that ye talked about things & the deal breaker was you playing with another woman. Yet you joined here, which is your right to do. I'm wondering if you couldn't stick to the deal
Why are you still married, still living with your wife?
Have ye kids? Is it cause of what other's will say about ye breaking up? Financially?
If it's cause of the kids? Your kid's will be more understanding of ye breaking up & you moving out. Compared to finding out that your on here & slepting with other women, behind there back.
I'm going on what you've said on here OP. The deal was you couldn't play with another woman(have I/we that right)? If so, why did you agree to it? As you knew beforehand that you couldn't stick with it. You'd have been better to have said no to it, move out & get on with your life. Yes you'd have done harm to your wife & kids(if ye have them). By doing what you've done, you've done more damage to them.
You've opened a can of worms for yourself OP eitherway. It's up to you deside how to or do anything about it, not me.
For me, it's the same if it was a woman that did this, in this case the OP is man. I've nothing against married people being on here. 1 being on here & playing behind the older person's back isn't right, under any circumstance.
Each to they're own. |
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By *nardriMan
over a year ago
near town |
"Just found out my cousin and his wife are living separate lives under the same roof. She found out he's been having an affair with another woman, has spent nights and weekends away with this woman, has met this other woman's family and friends, has spent time with her son, yet ignores his own, spent the night with this woman while his wife went into labour. He has destroyed two women , yes I get each to their own and we don't know what goes on behind closed doors but are the consequences of the hurt and damage been caused just for some intimacy justified?
If no intimacy why stay? That might seem like a simple question but life is so short we deserve to be happy ,everyone deserves to be happy, the material things like houses , money etc none of that matters.
"
Having an affair like that is completely different to having the odd ride with a stranger |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As they say each to their own all adults here ,we all have our own reasons to be on the site  "
I agree! In my humble opinion Op! You should just do whatever you decide but keep it to yourself! You are going to lots of different opinions on this subject here , some which may not be what you appear to be hoping for!! |
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By *om TangoMan
over a year ago
aughnacloy monaghan area |
Guilty. Hell no. I’m told to fuck what I want, just don’t bring it home. We were on here as a couple years ago to try and improve our sex live. Yes it worked for awhile. She decided she didn’t want it anymore. For 2 years I went without sex. Said it to her and she told me to go back on fab so here I am. We don’t share a bed anymore but we’re best friends. We’ve talked about me moving out but with mortgage and raising kids it just doesn’t make sense yet. Plan is to move out in 4 years. Like every morning I wake her up with a coffee. We sit have breakfast together before I go to work. If I say I won’t be home after work she doesn’t question it. If she says she has somewhere to go I don’t question her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just found out my cousin and his wife are living separate lives under the same roof. She found out he's been having an affair with another woman, has spent nights and weekends away with this woman, has met this other woman's family and friends, has spent time with her son, yet ignores his own, spent the night with this woman while his wife went into labour. He has destroyed two women , yes I get each to their own and we don't know what goes on behind closed doors but are the consequences of the hurt and damage been caused just for some intimacy justified?
If no intimacy why stay? That might seem like a simple question but life is so short we deserve to be happy ,everyone deserves to be happy, the material things like houses , money etc none of that matters.
Having an affair like that is completely different to having the odd ride with a stranger"
Maybe but the damage is still hurtful |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The misses here.
Did you know that unfortunately the people who are at greater risk of catching STDs are partners of people that play away.
So yes for us cheating is wrong. If you are so unhappy leave. The people who are so ok with cheating would you be happy if done to you? Doubt it |
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After years of rut of vanilla marriage... do cheating men (women) not think for a second that their wife (husbands) deserves a chance to find someone else to have those happy moments of intimacy too?
If a person strictly believes that cheating is 100% wrong and it would break them apart if they found out their partner was cheating on them. Why hold them hostage in a marriage that already run its course?
It is so extremely selfish to rob them of a chance to find someone else they might be compatible with.
It is so narcissistic to assume that staying in that dysfunctional relationship is better for their spouse or the kids.
What makes them think that they're so irreplaceable within a relationship that they would rather go away to cheat than just put all the cards on the table and try to work a happy future separately like responsible adults do? |
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"After years of rut of vanilla marriage... do cheating men (women) not think for a second that their wife (husbands) deserves a chance to find someone else to have those happy moments of intimacy too?
If a person strictly believes that cheating is 100% wrong and it would break them apart if they found out their partner was cheating on them. Why hold them hostage in a marriage that already run its course?
It is so extremely selfish to rob them of a chance to find someone else they might be compatible with.
It is so narcissistic to assume that staying in that dysfunctional relationship is better for their spouse or the kids.
What makes them think that they're so irreplaceable within a relationship that they would rather go away to cheat than just put all the cards on the table and try to work a happy future separately like responsible adults do?"
This post implies that marriage = sex life? |
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"After years of rut of vanilla marriage... do cheating men (women) not think for a second that their wife (husbands) deserves a chance to find someone else to have those happy moments of intimacy too?
If a person strictly believes that cheating is 100% wrong and it would break them apart if they found out their partner was cheating on them. Why hold them hostage in a marriage that already run its course?
It is so extremely selfish to rob them of a chance to find someone else they might be compatible with.
It is so narcissistic to assume that staying in that dysfunctional relationship is better for their spouse or the kids.
What makes them think that they're so irreplaceable within a relationship that they would rather go away to cheat than just put all the cards on the table and try to work a happy future separately like responsible adults do?
This post implies that marriage = sex life?"
This post implies that if your sex drive and need for sexual intimacy is more important than your spouces trust, feelings, morals and pretty much everything they believe what marriage is supposed to stand for like being a team, being honest and truthful with each other and having each other's backs - then yes, it's better to end that marriage all together.
If one openly tells their partner that they need more sex and the partner just doesn't want to have sex with them at all any more - sex will never magically come back to that relationship.
That said - if the partner who doesn't want to have sex with their own spouse it doesn't mean that they won't ever find or want to find another person outside their marriage who they can feel close to and enjoy life with. They just don't want to cheat and find cheating extremely hurtful.
Sex isn't everything, but it's a huge part of any relationship as the intimacy grounds both partners together and helps them bond outside the mundane chores and life around work and kids.
Sex outside the marriage where one partner did not consent to it happening CAN and often IS the one thing that hurts a person beyond repair, it hurts them so deep - they will have trust issues for the rest of their life - why on earth would someone do it to their partner for just some mere sex? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just don’t understand why people expect the rest of society to be ok or validate their infidelities.
If you really feel things are done with your partner. The love and intimacy is truly gone.
Grow a pair and end it.
Women have needs too and she is more than likely doing the same. If not yet it will happen at sometime.
That’s all well and good if ye are both on the same page. If not it will all end in disaster.
If there are kids involved it will be you who looses your home.
Best be honest now and the two of ye move on with your lives.
For your own sakes.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you don't feel guilty after cheating on your wife perhaps your marriage isn't worthwhile at all, if a marriage meant something like really meant something and you cheated on your spouse you would be racked with guilt but some people don't care about anything or anyone just themselves and what makes them feel good , typical narcissistic behaviour, it's all about me me me |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
The reason that most ( not all) men dont tell people that they're marriaged is because of the abuse they get
The amount of married men and woman on here that say nothing,go to socials and advertised club events and play with married couples ( that have on their profile that they dont play with married men ...but dont mention married women funnily enough )
As long as a married man or women tells the person that they're playing with I dont see the problem....it's between them
If you want more people to tell the truth maybe a little less abuse would help
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The reason that most ( not all) men dont tell people that they're marriaged is because of the abuse they get
The amount of married men and woman on here that say nothing,go to socials and advertised club events and play with married couples ( that have on their profile that they dont play with married men ...but dont mention married women funnily enough )
As long as a married man or women tells the person that they're playing with I dont see the problem....it's between them
If you want more people to tell the truth maybe a little less abuse would help
"
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By *ogladyWoman
over a year ago
The bog |
"The reason that most ( not all) men dont tell people that they're marriaged is because of the abuse they get
The amount of married men and woman on here that say nothing,go to socials and advertised club events and play with married couples ( that have on their profile that they dont play with married men ...but dont mention married women funnily enough )
As long as a married man or women tells the person that they're playing with I dont see the problem....it's between them
If you want more people to tell the truth maybe a little less abuse would help
"
Totally agree |
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I haven't heard any abuse of cheaters here. I've heard a lot of good reasons why people think it's a bad thing, and unfair on partners, and something that many don't want to be part of, but no abuse. I think if people are looking to be told it's ok to do what they are doing then they are going to be disappointed. I actually think this place is very tolerant of this stuff. Most portions of society would be much more against this behaviour than here. It's pretty much universally unacceptable. |
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"The reason that most ( not all) men dont tell people that they're marriaged is because of the abuse they get
The amount of married men and woman on here that say nothing,go to socials and advertised club events and play with married couples ( that have on their profile that they dont play with married men ...but dont mention married women funnily enough )
As long as a married man or women tells the person that they're playing with I dont see the problem....it's between them
If you want more people to tell the truth maybe a little less abuse would help
"
I hear what you're saying bog but OP fairly left his arse hangin out on this one
There is no doubt that there are plenty of situations, usually financial or kids, where it must seem impossible to find resolution and whatever my personal beliefs I am inclined to reserve judgment.
But this is a public forum. And if a lad comes along bragging that he doesn't feel guilty and enjoys sucking his mistresses nipples then he's fair game as far as I'm concerned.
The whole subject has never been so visible to me since I joined fab and I do waver in how I feel about it.
I had twenty years of monogamy and I'm familiar with the peak's and throughs of libidos, illness, boredom and all else that goes with it.
Making the decision to play away is a big one. I don't actually believe OP feels nothing. He'd have to be inhuman and people, myself included, do have empathy for those who are in intractable situations. That empathy also extends to the spouse at home and I think that's fair. |
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"The misses here.
Did you know that unfortunately the people who are at greater risk of catching STDs are partners of people that play away.
So yes for us cheating is wrong. If you are so unhappy leave. The people who are so ok with cheating would you be happy if done to you? Doubt it "
Might it not be more likely that committed partners who both have sex with people outside their individual relationship are at twice the risk of contracting an STI and transmitting it to their partner than if only one person is being intimate with others outside of a relationship.
Basic mathematics would suggest this to be the case.
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I think it's also important to separate a particular behaviour from a person in general. It's ok to think someone is doing something wrong in cheating on their partners, but that doesn't mean that person should be abused or hated because of that. It doesn't make up all that the person is. I'm sure we all sometimes do things that other people would consider unacceptable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The misses here.
Did you know that unfortunately the people who are at greater risk of catching STDs are partners of people that play away.
So yes for us cheating is wrong. If you are so unhappy leave. The people who are so ok with cheating would you be happy if done to you? Doubt it "
A greater risk than who? |
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"The reason that most ( not all) men dont tell people that they're marriaged is because of the abuse they get
The amount of married men and woman on here that say nothing,go to socials and advertised club events and play with married couples ( that have on their profile that they dont play with married men ...but dont mention married women funnily enough )
As long as a married man or women tells the person that they're playing with I dont see the problem....it's between them
If you want more people to tell the truth maybe a little less abuse would help
"
Lol what?
Who said anything about abuse? I think it’s basic courtesy to tell someone you’re trying to hook up with if you’re married or not. It would be a huge huge huge dealbreaker for me. I have no interest in “abusing” or scolding anyone but I wouldn’t waste my energy on a man that was married, and there is absolutely no valid reason to conceal that from someone. In my opinion, of course. |
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"Everyone deserves happiness, you included. But so does your wife and that starts with a bit of honesty from you.
Have you discussed the lack of intimacy? Have you sought counselling? If not, why not? A lack of intimacy is a big problem in a marriage and needs to be addressed.
If she has no interest in intimacy, can you come to an arrangement where you don't need to go behind her back?
No judgement here, you both deserve to be happy but it appears that neither if you are happy at present and that needs to change for both your sakes. Good luck with it all.
Mrs."
I would think hes very happy! |
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"Guilty. Hell no. I’m told to fuck what I want, just don’t bring it home. We were on here as a couple years ago to try and improve our sex live. Yes it worked for awhile. She decided she didn’t want it anymore. For 2 years I went without sex. Said it to her and she told me to go back on fab so here I am. We don’t share a bed anymore but we’re best friends. We’ve talked about me moving out but with mortgage and raising kids it just doesn’t make sense yet. Plan is to move out in 4 years. Like every morning I wake her up with a coffee. We sit have breakfast together before I go to work. If I say I won’t be home after work she doesn’t question it. If she says she has somewhere to go I don’t question her. "
Common sense at last. |
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"I haven't heard any abuse of cheaters here. I've heard a lot of good reasons why people think it's a bad thing, and unfair on partners, and something that many don't want to be part of, but no abuse. I think if people are looking to be told it's ok to do what they are doing then they are going to be disappointed. I actually think this place is very tolerant of this stuff. Most portions of society would be much more against this behaviour than here. It's pretty much universally unacceptable."
At least 2 posts referring to narcissistic behaviour. Very tolerant? |
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By *affa31Woman
over a year ago
Galway |
I can’t help but wonder is the OP a masochist or did he know he was going to get people riled up and is enjoying it.
I really don’t know why this conversation is rehashed on a monthly, if not weekly basis.
People will do what they want, all that we can ask is that it’s made clear on your profile if you are married so that people can make an informed choice.
Also, it would be wonderful if married women here without their partner’s knowledge were treated the same as married men tend to be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can’t help but wonder is the OP a masochist or did he know he was going to get people riled up and is enjoying it.
I really don’t know why this conversation is rehashed on a monthly, if not weekly basis.
People will do what they want, all that we can ask is that it’s made clear on your profile if you are married so that people can make an informed choice.
Also, it would be wonderful if married women here without their partner’s knowledge were treated the same as married men tend to be. "
Thank you, I can’t understand what’s the need for validation or alternatively the need to lecture or evangelise. |
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"Guilty. Hell no. I’m told to fuck what I want, just don’t bring it home. We were on here as a couple years ago to try and improve our sex live. Yes it worked for awhile. She decided she didn’t want it anymore. For 2 years I went without sex. Said it to her and she told me to go back on fab so here I am. We don’t share a bed anymore but we’re best friends. We’ve talked about me moving out but with mortgage and raising kids it just doesn’t make sense yet. Plan is to move out in 4 years. Like every morning I wake her up with a coffee. We sit have breakfast together before I go to work. If I say I won’t be home after work she doesn’t question it. If she says she has somewhere to go I don’t question her. "
Your in a different boat altogether, than OP. Ye have an agreement sorted out already & ye're both living by it. Which is the right thing.
I'm sure it wasn't easy in the first place or even now at time's. |
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"I can’t help but wonder is the OP a masochist or did he know he was going to get people riled up and is enjoying it.
I really don’t know why this conversation is rehashed on a monthly, if not weekly basis.
People will do what they want, all that we can ask is that it’s made clear on your profile if you are married so that people can make an informed choice.
Also, it would be wonderful if married women here without their partner’s knowledge were treated the same as married men tend to be. "
Your sentiment is well intended Jaffa but I'll change it slightly; it would be wonderful if married men here without their partner’s knowledge were treated the same as married women tend to be! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yeah you are on a swinging site to play away??? ...beats the whole point of swinging ,having trust with your partner both enjoying it sharing things that you enjoy.
Maybe leave your partner as its not all about you if you are married is it? Maybe tell your partner you are on here see how guilty you feel when you have to face the reality of breaking her trust. I'm sorry its not each to their own if you're married and cheating. Maybe be honest and separate as just comes across selfish . Mr here BTW. "
100% ?? |
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"Maybe the OP loves his wife but isn't getting satisfied at home so what, who are we do judge if we don't want to meet married or attached don't.. move on I'm like a dog with a bone I can't let it go lol, I'm on the site along time and threads like this makes me laugh,people saying they won't meet married and the amount of messages I get saying I met her but she wouldn't let me give a verif "
You judge people who you think are kink shaming, being abusive, size shaming etc , however people are wrong to judge weather cheating is right or wrong ? |
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"Just found out my cousin and his wife are living separate lives under the same roof. She found out he's been having an affair with another woman, has spent nights and weekends away with this woman, has met this other woman's family and friends, has spent time with her son, yet ignores his own, spent the night with this woman while his wife went into labour. He has destroyed two women , yes I get each to their own and we don't know what goes on behind closed doors but are the consequences of the hurt and damage been caused just for some intimacy justified?
If no intimacy why stay? That might seem like a simple question but life is so short we deserve to be happy ,everyone deserves to be happy, the material things like houses , money etc none of that matters.
"
It is right to be non judgmental , as much as we can. It is also a race to not be too harsh on people when you don't know the full circumstances of their situation. However I think sometimes "each to their own" seems to be a phrase to used to make people who disagree with the harmful nature of cheating , sound like they arnt open or accepting!
I don't believe this is the case.
You can't compare cheating and people's views on it 2 tings such as kinks and preferences and cultural acceptance.
You are comparing dishonesty to differences. They are not comparable |
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"Just found out my cousin and his wife are living separate lives under the same roof. She found out he's been having an affair with another woman, has spent nights and weekends away with this woman, has met this other woman's family and friends, has spent time with her son, yet ignores his own, spent the night with this woman while his wife went into labour. He has destroyed two women , yes I get each to their own and we don't know what goes on behind closed doors but are the consequences of the hurt and damage been caused just for some intimacy justified?
If no intimacy why stay? That might seem like a simple question but life is so short we deserve to be happy ,everyone deserves to be happy, the material things like houses , money etc none of that matters.
Having an affair like that is completely different to having the odd ride with a stranger"
Infidelity isn't determined by duration surly? |
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"The reason that most ( not all) men dont tell people that they're marriaged is because of the abuse they get
The amount of married men and woman on here that say nothing,go to socials and advertised club events and play with married couples ( that have on their profile that they dont play with married men ...but dont mention married women funnily enough )
As long as a married man or women tells the person that they're playing with I dont see the problem....it's between them
If you want more people to tell the truth maybe a little less abuse would help
"
Bog how can you say its between them ... when there clearly is a third party involved involuntary!? |
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"The misses here.
Did you know that unfortunately the people who are at greater risk of catching STDs are partners of people that play away.
So yes for us cheating is wrong. If you are so unhappy leave. The people who are so ok with cheating would you be happy if done to you? Doubt it
Might it not be more likely that committed partners who both have sex with people outside their individual relationship are at twice the risk of contracting an STI and transmitting it to their partner than if only one person is being intimate with others outside of a relationship.
Basic mathematics would suggest this to be the case.
"
No because they won't need any secrecy around testing unlike cheating partners. This inturn leads to lest testing . |
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"I can’t help but wonder is the OP a masochist or did he know he was going to get people riled up and is enjoying it.
I really don’t know why this conversation is rehashed on a monthly, if not weekly basis.
People will do what they want, all that we can ask is that it’s made clear on your profile if you are married so that people can make an informed choice.
Also, it would be wonderful if married women here without their partner’s knowledge were treated the same as married men tend to be. "
Oh he definitely knew ... and selected v carefully who he didn't reply too  |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
"The reason that most ( not all) men dont tell people that they're marriaged is because of the abuse they get
The amount of married men and woman on here that say nothing,go to socials and advertised club events and play with married couples ( that have on their profile that they dont play with married men ...but dont mention married women funnily enough )
As long as a married man or women tells the person that they're playing with I dont see the problem....it's between them
If you want more people to tell the truth maybe a little less abuse would help
Bog how can you say its between them ... when there clearly is a third party involved involuntary!?"
There's also kids in many instances
If people have on their profile they don't play with married men or women surely its better if people are honest about their married status in the first place for everyone to make an informed choice
|
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By *3nsesMan
over a year ago
Dublin |
"The reason that most ( not all) men dont tell people that they're marriaged is because of the abuse they get
The amount of married men and woman on here that say nothing,go to socials and advertised club events and play with married couples ( that have on their profile that they dont play with married men ...but dont mention married women funnily enough )
As long as a married man or women tells the person that they're playing with I dont see the problem....it's between them
If you want more people to tell the truth maybe a little less abuse would help
"
Oh the poor selfish lairs who cheat, there's a tear rolling down my eye with how tough they have it.
The reason most selfish liars don't tell people they're married is because, shock horror, they are selfish liars. And they feel if they tell people it will reduce the chances of them getting sex, so being selfish they're only concern is for themselves and they don't care about someone else, and being liars they are happy to, well, lie.
There's no need to over complicate it Bog, it has nothing to do with abuse and is solely to do with their chances of getting the ride. |
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"The reason that most ( not all) men dont tell people that they're marriaged is because of the abuse they get
The amount of married men and woman on here that say nothing,go to socials and advertised club events and play with married couples ( that have on their profile that they dont play with married men ...but dont mention married women funnily enough )
As long as a married man or women tells the person that they're playing with I dont see the problem....it's between them
If you want more people to tell the truth maybe a little less abuse would help
Bog how can you say its between them ... when there clearly is a third party involved involuntary!?
There's also kids in many instances
If people have on their profile they don't play with married men or women surely its better if people are honest about their married status in the first place for everyone to make an informed choice
"
Thats not answering what I asked you at all ... thats just clarifying that it isn't just between them !!!!  |
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"The misses here.
Did you know that unfortunately the people who are at greater risk of catching STDs are partners of people that play away.
So yes for us cheating is wrong. If you are so unhappy leave. The people who are so ok with cheating would you be happy if done to you? Doubt it
Might it not be more likely that committed partners who both have sex with people outside their individual relationship are at twice the risk of contracting an STI and transmitting it to their partner than if only one person is being intimate with others outside of a relationship.
Basic mathematics would suggest this to be the case.
No because they won't need any secrecy around testing unlike cheating partners. This inturn leads to lest testing . "
Yours is a fairly broad assumption regarding STI testing amongst couples versus singles and I doubt very much if there is any statistical evidence available to support your theory. It is however a mathematical fact that two people, both playing with random partners, does actually double the risk of a person contracting an STI and passing it on to their partner. |
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"The misses here.
Did you know that unfortunately the people who are at greater risk of catching STDs are partners of people that play away.
So yes for us cheating is wrong. If you are so unhappy leave. The people who are so ok with cheating would you be happy if done to you? Doubt it
Might it not be more likely that committed partners who both have sex with people outside their individual relationship are at twice the risk of contracting an STI and transmitting it to their partner than if only one person is being intimate with others outside of a relationship.
Basic mathematics would suggest this to be the case.
No because they won't need any secrecy around testing unlike cheating partners. This inturn leads to lest testing .
Yours is a fairly broad assumption regarding STI testing amongst couples versus singles and I doubt very much if there is any statistical evidence available to support your theory. It is however a mathematical fact that two people, both playing with random partners, does actually double the risk of a person contracting an STI and passing it on to their partner. "
We know a lot of couples in the Irish swing community and it is standard practice to be routinely tested using the SH:24 free testing service. You order online and the package is delivered by the postman.
It is also standard practice to inform sexual partners if someone becomes infected.
No issue for swinging couples but you can be damned sure all of this is an issue for cheaters living with their partner. Please don't pretend otherwise. |
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"The misses here.
Did you know that unfortunately the people who are at greater risk of catching STDs are partners of people that play away.
So yes for us cheating is wrong. If you are so unhappy leave. The people who are so ok with cheating would you be happy if done to you? Doubt it
Might it not be more likely that committed partners who both have sex with people outside their individual relationship are at twice the risk of contracting an STI and transmitting it to their partner than if only one person is being intimate with others outside of a relationship.
Basic mathematics would suggest this to be the case.
No because they won't need any secrecy around testing unlike cheating partners. This inturn leads to lest testing .
Yours is a fairly broad assumption regarding STI testing amongst couples versus singles and I doubt very much if there is any statistical evidence available to support your theory. It is however a mathematical fact that two people, both playing with random partners, does actually double the risk of a person contracting an STI and passing it on to their partner. "
if you To use maths to further your point instead of common sense reality around the likelihood of STI testing. That's up to you |
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"The reason that most ( not all) men dont tell people that they're marriaged is because of the abuse they get
The amount of married men and woman on here that say nothing,go to socials and advertised club events and play with married couples ( that have on their profile that they dont play with married men ...but dont mention married women funnily enough )
As long as a married man or women tells the person that they're playing with I dont see the problem....it's between them
If you want more people to tell the truth maybe a little less abuse would help
Totally agree "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Someone asked me do I feel guilty after playing with someone I met on fab. I thought about it, and decided why would I feel guilty if I was intimate with another woman when there's no intimacy at home. Even after trying so may ways to encourage intimacy at home.
I’m married and I don’t feel guilty after being to bed with a woman. I so enjoy our nakedness, our kissing, our stimulation of each other. I adore the nipple sucking, the moaning, feeling her bum or any part of her. The joy of cumming and kissing.
I don’t feel guilty though I have been so intimate, I feel happy, refreshed, yes, so happy. Many may judge me as unfair, and wrong, but I guess we all have our own story. "
She know you having sexual fun? Or she has no clue? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Someone asked me do I feel guilty after playing with someone I met on fab. I thought about it, and decided why would I feel guilty if I was intimate with another woman when there's no intimacy at home. Even after trying so may ways to encourage intimacy at home.
I’m married and I don’t feel guilty after being to bed with a woman. I so enjoy our nakedness, our kissing, our stimulation of each other. I adore the nipple sucking, the moaning, feeling her bum or any part of her. The joy of cumming and kissing.
I don’t feel guilty though I have been so intimate, I feel happy, refreshed, yes, so happy. Many may judge me as unfair, and wrong, but I guess we all have our own story.
She know you having sexual fun? Or she has no clue?"
Well of course she doesn’t know! Why would you tell her! Selfish narcissistic and try justify for it…. Some marriage!
Good luck hope she finds out |
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OP
Do you know why your wife has gone off sex with you?
Could you discuss the lifestyle with her or come to some agreement about ethical non monogamy?
How would you feel if your wife was having sex with someone else? |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
"Someone asked me do I feel guilty after playing with someone I met on fab. I thought about it, and decided why would I feel guilty if I was intimate with another woman when there's no intimacy at home. Even after trying so may ways to encourage intimacy at home.
I’m married and I don’t feel guilty after being to bed with a woman. I so enjoy our nakedness, our kissing, our stimulation of each other. I adore the nipple sucking, the moaning, feeling her bum or any part of her. The joy of cumming and kissing.
I don’t feel guilty though I have been so intimate, I feel happy, refreshed, yes, so happy. Many may judge me as unfair, and wrong, but I guess we all have our own story.
She know you having sexual fun? Or she has no clue?
Well of course she doesn’t know! Why would you tell her! Selfish narcissistic and try justify for it…. Some marriage!
Good luck hope she finds out"
I take if that you wont meet married women |
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"Someone asked me do I feel guilty after playing with someone I met on fab. I thought about it, and decided why would I feel guilty if I was intimate with another woman when there's no intimacy at home. Even after trying so may ways to encourage intimacy at home.
I’m married and I don’t feel guilty after being to bed with a woman. I so enjoy our nakedness, our kissing, our stimulation of each other. I adore the nipple sucking, the moaning, feeling her bum or any part of her. The joy of cumming and kissing.
I don’t feel guilty though I have been so intimate, I feel happy, refreshed, yes, so happy. Many may judge me as unfair, and wrong, but I guess we all have our own story.
She know you having sexual fun? Or she has no clue?
Well of course she doesn’t know! Why would you tell her! Selfish narcissistic and try justify for it…. Some marriage!
Good luck hope she finds out
I take if that you wont meet married women "
Or anyone cause sti and all |
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"Someone asked me do I feel guilty after playing with someone I met on fab. I thought about it, and decided why would I feel guilty if I was intimate with another woman when there's no intimacy at home. Even after trying so may ways to encourage intimacy at home.
I’m married and I don’t feel guilty after being to bed with a woman. I so enjoy our nakedness, our kissing, our stimulation of each other. I adore the nipple sucking, the moaning, feeling her bum or any part of her. The joy of cumming and kissing.
I don’t feel guilty though I have been so intimate, I feel happy, refreshed, yes, so happy. Many may judge me as unfair, and wrong, but I guess we all have our own story. "
why you still with the wife so ?? Kids ? |
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I haven't been intimate with my wife for years have spoke about it several times I told her I was going to leave several times she said she loves me and would make and effort but never does I love her but we live like brother and sister she has caught me wanking and looked at me like what is wrong with you at my wits end with it all now |
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"I haven't been intimate with my wife for years have spoke about it several times I told her I was going to leave several times she said she loves me and would make and effort but never does I love her but we live like brother and sister she has caught me wanking and looked at me like what is wrong with you at my wits end with it all now"
What's keeping ye together?
Ye say ye love eachother, but are ye in love with eachother anymore?
Sound's like torcher to me.   
Also it sound's like ye'd be better apart altogether. It's up to ye at the end of the day, nobody else. Hopefully something is sorted out between ye.  |
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By *XlalaXXWoman
over a year ago
tipperary |
"I haven't been intimate with my wife for years have spoke about it several times I told her I was going to leave several times she said she loves me and would make and effort but never does I love her but we live like brother and sister she has caught me wanking and looked at me like what is wrong with you at my wits end with it all now"
Does she know ur bisexual ? |
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"I haven't been intimate with my wife for years have spoke about it several times I told her I was going to leave several times she said she loves me and would make and effort but never does I love her but we live like brother and sister she has caught me wanking and looked at me like what is wrong with you at my wits end with it all now"
Honestly, I genuinely feel for people who struggle, weather its with something I agree with or not . A struggle is a tought place to be .
Having said that, reading about all these people who come on here saying how difficult their relationship , how they can't communicate within their marriage, how they need sex but partner dosnt, not to mention the amount of similar stories where the person won't actually engage or pics and chooses what to discuss after raising the topic, I can't help be think why ?
Are these just pity posts?
Are they looking for support?
Do they think that the difficulties and pain in their relationship will be aided by looking for casual sex ?
Are they just stirring for entertainment?
I just don't get the logic in a situation where you love someone dearly and in order to try address issues in that relationship, fabswingwrs seems like the place to go !
|
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Why not suprise her and go to a swingers club. Let her play with other men....
It's the least she deserves and it might bring a spark back into her.
It's surely a better option that shagging behind her back |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Someone asked me do I feel guilty after playing with someone I met on fab. I thought about it, and decided why would I feel guilty if I was intimate with another woman when there's no intimacy at home. Even after trying so may ways to encourage intimacy at home.
I’m married and I don’t feel guilty after being to bed with a woman. I so enjoy our nakedness, our kissing, our stimulation of each other. I adore the nipple sucking, the moaning, feeling her bum or any part of her. The joy of cumming and kissing.
I don’t feel guilty though I have been so intimate, I feel happy, refreshed, yes, so happy. Many may judge me as unfair, and wrong, but I guess we all have our own story.
She know you having sexual fun? Or she has no clue?
Well of course she doesn’t know! Why would you tell her! Selfish narcissistic and try justify for it…. Some marriage!
Good luck hope she finds out"
This sound like married man deflection |
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By *adylaceWoman
over a year ago
Waterford City |
"The reason that most ( not all) men dont tell people that they're marriaged is because of the abuse they get
The amount of married men and woman on here that say nothing,go to socials and advertised club events and play with married couples ( that have on their profile that they dont play with married men ...but dont mention married women funnily enough )
As long as a married man or women tells the person that they're playing with I dont see the problem....it's between them
If you want more people to tell the truth maybe a little less abuse would help
"
this
I personally don't like to meet attached people if I can avoid it. I'm not judging them it's just not something I'm into. Unfortunately I have found out after the fact with a few people here over the years and it's not a pleasant feeling. Just be honest about it from the start and let the person decide for themselves if they are happy to meet you. |
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"The reason that most ( not all) men dont tell people that they're marriaged is because of the abuse they get
The amount of married men and woman on here that say nothing,go to socials and advertised club events and play with married couples ( that have on their profile that they dont play with married men ...but dont mention married women funnily enough )
As long as a married man or women tells the person that they're playing with I dont see the problem....it's between them
If you want more people to tell the truth maybe a little less abuse would help
"
Could not agree more B. Wow for such a proposed open minded bunch people are so judgemental of others. Just get on with what you all like and don’t play with what you don’t like. I know many a loving married couple where one person doesn’t want the intimacy but they love each other and care and respect and the reason the other is on here and saying they are married is because sometimes others on here are looking for relationships. Each to their own    |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I am married as it says on my profile and my reason(s) for being on here are my own and I don't feel the need to tell you all to get slated, judged, advised or approved. It was my choice to join fab, my choice and no one elses.
I am not being disrespectful to anyone by agreeing that if you don't approve of married people playing away, just don't meet them. Simple as.
I do however, wonder if people's maritial status are checked before being invited to socials, clubs etc as in how is it known if 'single' guys or ladies are truly single or is that ok in those situations?
Never been to any so just wondering |
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No one has to explain themselves of course.
It is worth bearing in mind though that those who choose to broach the subject on a public forum, and especially in the case of the unsavoury post from the OP, are, by the very act of participating, opening themselves and their choices up for discussion, debate and support or criticism.
It's a forum. That's the craic like
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No one has to explain themselves of course.
It is worth bearing in mind though that those who choose to broach the subject on a public forum, and especially in the case of the unsavoury post from the OP, are, by the very act of participating, opening themselves and their choices up for discussion, debate and support or criticism.
It's a forum. That's the craic like
"
Of course. I just don't understand why people need/want justification for what they are doing. |
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I suspect part of the reason for these threads is that they are looking for someone to tell them that it's ok, because deep down they they ARE feeling guilty... I know I would. Maybe I'm wrong I don't know |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I suspect part of the reason for these threads is that they are looking for someone to tell them that it's ok, because deep down they they ARE feeling guilty... I know I would. Maybe I'm wrong I don't know"
You could be right. Who knows.
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