FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Being happily single
Being happily single
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So I'm kinda in a bit of a lull at the moment, after getting out of a bad relationship a year or 2 ago I told myself that id be better off alone, and initially I was full of beans about that idea, I am happy being single, but I'm sure its the same for everyone, you tend to forget after a while and long for another! Absolute madness im sure! I just need reminding that im better off alone, anyone else think this way?
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Main reason I joined here was because I wasn’t ready or interested in having to date people and go through the whole rigmarole of trying to reign my personality in enough so as I wouldn’t scare people away :D
Now I’m open to dating, or I say I am and then when any normal man shows any sort of genuine interest, I get the ick. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yes definitely dont miss having to deal with mundane drama, but do you find yourself thinking you'd like to couple up now and then, like you forget how simple it is ?
Im probably not making any sense! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No I really do not long to couple up, long for a ride every now and then but would hate to have to share my bed every night, listen to someone else shuffle around the room, and dort etc..... Lols |
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By *affa31Woman
over a year ago
Galway |
It’s ok not to be happy about being single though! Humans crave physical contact and often, we receive the majority of that with partners.
I am happily single but there are days that I’d love to have someone to snuggle up with or go off on a spontaneous adventure with.
What parts of a relationship are you missing? Think about those parts and whether they are things that you can do by yourself or with a friend.
Missing physical contact can be a big one for me and most of the time it’s missing kissing! A fuck buddy or friends with benefits can solve that though  |
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"Kissing is definitely missed, well good kissing, had a couple of dodgy kissers!
I think F buddies are a thing of myth? No? "
F buddies are not so much a thing of myth but a transitional relationship that comes to an end like so many others. And that can be for several reasons. The best ones stay on the same page for longer but sooner or later one or other partners page turns… |
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Why fab and fbuddies words for me...am happier single ,enjoy my own company and don't need another person to feel complete...I found later in life relationships aren't for me and fbuddies is the way forward ?? can't be doing with all the drama & baggage that comes in a relationship x |
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Much the same boat as yourself, single now nearly a year after a long term relationship. Gotta say I’m enjoying the single life and my own company. I think it’s a “freedom to do what you want when you want” kinda thing that does it for me being single. I get ya on the feels side of things too |
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By *he MickMan
over a year ago
southside |
Was in a similar situation myself a few years ago .
Happy when I got out of a bad relationship and I loved the single life but that didn't last too long as most of my friends are married and not always around so I was bored at weekends and only so much you can do alone .
So I started dating and I met someone and had a great year and a half to two years but that has ended several months ago .
So I am currently finding happiness alone again and when I am ready I will start dating again .
Being alone can be great but being part of a couple is just that bit better imo
But I believe you have to be happy on your own before you can find happiness with someone else
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By *adylaceWoman
over a year ago
Waterford City |
I am much happier single. I've always been that way. The longest I could ever stay in a relationship was about a year. I always found that I was expected to change who I am too much for the other person. I now love having fbuddies and friends with benefits who I care about a huge amount but we don't put any of the pressures of a relationship on eachother. |
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"So I'm kinda in a bit of a lull at the moment, after getting out of a bad relationship a year or 2 ago I told myself that id be better off alone, and initially I was full of beans about that idea, I am happy being single, but I'm sure its the same for everyone, you tend to forget after a while and long for another! Absolute madness im sure! I just need reminding that im better off alone, anyone else think this way?
"
Your probably not 
The heart and the gut don't lie ... the head and the mind often do ... which one is lacking something? |
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There's good part's & bad part's to being single. Just like being in a relationship, I'm sure.
Personally not the best person to comment in this thread(Can't miss, what you've never had). That's all I'm saying. 
If you were in a relationship in the past. The longer your single, can make it hard to be in a relationship again in the future, for some people(I think).  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yeah, i had a big gap in between relationships, i think that didn't help , got used to being on my own!
But hey ho! It is what it is! I won't get too worried about it, was just feeling a bit down and it was bugging me a little, but definitely better being alone than unhappy!
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Ur not alone I’m kinda single 2 years ish too and at times its grand being free and able do as ya please but its nice to have a partner too. I enjoyed the fab lifestyle years ago when i was single but its changed since then and changed for the worst or maybe its just this website. Its so hard find genuine hot people on here. |
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By *issC_UseMeWoman
over a year ago
London & South Coast |
Don't reign in your personality lovely. If they can't handle all of you, they're not the one for you. Suppressing parts of yourself is frickin exhausting
"Main reason I joined here was because I wasn’t ready or interested in having to date people and go through the whole rigmarole of trying to reign my personality in enough so as I wouldn’t scare people away :D
Now I’m open to dating, or I say I am and then when any normal man shows any sort of genuine interest, I get the ick. "
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"Was in a similar situation myself a few years ago .
Happy when I got out of a bad relationship and I loved the single life but that didn't last too long as most of my friends are married and not always around so I was bored at weekends and only so much you can do alone .
So I started dating and I met someone and had a great year and a half to two years but that has ended several months ago .
So I am currently finding happiness alone again and when I am ready I will start dating again .
Being alone can be great but being part of a couple is just that bit better imo
But I believe you have to be happy on your own before you can find happiness with someone else
"
100% agree with this. Single life is great, but if you find the right person to date, it just makes it a bit different. I miss someone in bed in the morning for a cheeky spoon or for me to climb on top of. FBuddies are great for satisfying the short term 'itch' but I crave that getting lost in someone and the intimacy now really. If they makes sense  |
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"So I'm kinda in a bit of a lull at the moment, after getting out of a bad relationship a year or 2 ago I told myself that id be better off alone, and initially I was full of beans about that idea, I am happy being single, but I'm sure its the same for everyone, you tend to forget after a while and long for another! Absolute madness im sure! I just need reminding that im better off alone, anyone else think this way?
"
I think it's a case of each to their own. When I first joined fab 4 years ago, I was out of a long term relationship and the last thing I wanted was another one. Fab served the purpose of short term fun without the fear or expectations of commitment. Fast forward a few years and I do want more than that now. Men interested in regular meets or even those interested in dating are what I'm looking for now. Someone to explore the swinging scene with, and I wouldn't have discovered that side of me if it wasn't for this site and some of the amazing men I've met along the way.
So yes I get the feeling of a need for relationship as I think it's a natural feeling. Humans are not meant to be by ourselves, we crave companionship and intimacy. But as many have said in this thread, it's what level of that you want, one night stands, FBuddies or more, there's something for everyone. Hope you find what you're looking for x  |
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Hey all, so reading all your messages, I agree with everyone at the same time in a weird sort of way. Let me give a long explanation 
I was in a long term relationship for nearly 5 years. One of them symbiotic, can’t live without the other person kinda relationships. And I loved it. Loved every minute of it (although towards the end I did have the odd thought that there was things I really wanna do, that I never have time for)
When It ended, I was heart broken, but I quickly built a whole new life for myself and it’s great I’ve started hobbies I’d always wanted to get into, I’m travelling places the other person never wanted to go and of course I got into swinging and all sorts of sexy adventures
As great as it all is, I do miss that kinda head over heels relationship life terribly. And I often wonder if one just as good or better presented itself, would I go for it. And honestly, I don’t know if I would. It’s hard to imagine giving up what I’ve built myself on my own. And I don’t think that I’d find myself a similar relationship where I’d also have as much free reign to do the things I love doing now.
So….. I dunno
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I personally think after coming out of a relationship it's good to kinda have time for yourself find yourself again. I've been single a longtime now, since teens was in relationships after relationship.
I'm at the time of my life I'm happy being single. I don't know if I'll meet someone and not bothered if someone does come along. Things could change I'm not getting younger and may want someone . I don't need it that's the difference. |
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After being in relationships all of my adult life I am finding being single, and being a parent, a whole new world.
I was a bit shocked when I realised I'd gotten to 42 without ever really being single and now I find myself determined to explore that life.
I do enjoy intimacy and connection and I've found that having an fwb/lover keeps the balance for me.
Honestly I thought I'd want all the sex when I joined fab but I slowly discovered that single or not my sexual nature hasn't changed and I still prefer to connect on a level beyond physical attraction with the people I meet. Could be humour, great chats, sensuality or kink but there needs to be something there.
So I'm happy to stay single at least until I'm satisfied that I can live with and love myself as independent man and parent.
Also monogamy, which might be another thread altogether, currently holds no appeal for me. |
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"There's good part's & bad part's to being single. Just like being in a relationship, I'm sure.
Personally not the best person to comment in this thread(Can't miss, what you've never had). That's all I'm saying.
If you were in a relationship in the past. The longer your single, can make it hard to be in a relationship again in the future, for some people(I think). "
I also meant to say that "it's better to have loved & lost. Then never loved at all."
Supposeitly.  |
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"There's good part's & bad part's to being single. Just like being in a relationship, I'm sure.
Personally not the best person to comment in this thread(Can't miss, what you've never had). That's all I'm saying.
If you were in a relationship in the past. The longer your single, can make it hard to be in a relationship again in the future, for some people(I think).
I also meant to say that "it's better to have loved & lost. Then never loved at all."
Supposeitly. "
It truly is ... no matter the loss.. relationships. Deaths.careers . Friends etc.
The only way we can escape the pain of loss is to give up the joys of life !
Give me the pain so
Now being single or at a loss gives you time to realize that the pain is worth it for the joys.
Just sometimes it takes quite a while to get to this stage again !
The world is a very different place now and it isn't that easy In my opinion to meet new potential partners as it was 20 years ago. This in turn can cause your single spells to be extended far beyond your desire and make them feel like quite a negative experience.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As another poster said ,if you're not happy in yourself , a relationship won't change that , and wouldn't add anything positive for the other person so singledom for me is by design moreso than choice for now |
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"There's good part's & bad part's to being single. Just like being in a relationship, I'm sure.
Personally not the best person to comment in this thread(Can't miss, what you've never had). That's all I'm saying.
If you were in a relationship in the past. The longer your single, can make it hard to be in a relationship again in the future, for some people(I think).
I also meant to say that "it's better to have loved & lost. Then never loved at all."
Supposeitly.
It truly is ... no matter the loss.. relationships. Deaths.careers . Friends etc.
The only way we can escape the pain of loss is to give up the joys of life !
Give me the pain so
Now being single or at a loss gives you time to realize that the pain is worth it for the joys.
Just sometimes it takes quite a while to get to this stage again !
The world is a very different place now and it isn't that easy In my opinion to meet new potential partners as it was 20 years ago. This in turn can cause your single spells to be extended far beyond your desire and make them feel like quite a negative experience. "
Ya,that's true alright. It's alot different these days now. Compared to 20 year's ago alright. I'm single, not by choice. It's just the way it is. I can't really see that changing in the future. Unless a miracle happens, while on here for me. Time will tell for 1 way or the other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m single 5 years now. Yes I do desire to meet the right person for me at times but the slightest sniff of disrespect I’m gone so i have accepted the fact I be forever alone.
Also the thoughts of sharing my space with someone gives me the ick.
Closing your door and having that space is priceless |
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By *rbubbleMan
over a year ago
wild west sligo mayo roscommon |
"I’m single 5 years now. Yes I do desire to meet the right person for me at times but the slightest sniff of disrespect I’m gone so i have accepted the fact I be forever alone.
Also the thoughts of sharing my space with someone gives me the ick.
Closing your door and having that space is priceless "
Couldn’t agree more to your last two sentences
Space is priceless |
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"Happiness is priceless!
I suppose its just that i haven't met the right person, that might seem obvious now i look at it! "
I was going to say this to you when you started the thread
When you meet the right person, there's no drama, no questioning, no crap, it all just naturally progresses, even for those who previously would have sworn by singledom  |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
I'm actually grown to my single life after a toxic relationship, had dates afterwards even small relationship but the freedom seems such an easier life I'm surrounded by fantastic friends and most of all I'm happy  until I'm ready to take another leap |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Happiness is priceless!
I suppose its just that i haven't met the right person, that might seem obvious now i look at it!
I was going to say this to you when you started the thread
When you meet the right person, there's no drama, no questioning, no crap, it all just naturally progresses, even for those who previously would have sworn by singledom "
yeah, was just having a bit of a sad day i think! |
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"Happiness is priceless!
I suppose its just that i haven't met the right person, that might seem obvious now i look at it!
I was going to say this to you when you started the thread
When you meet the right person, there's no drama, no questioning, no crap, it all just naturally progresses, even for those who previously would have sworn by singledom
yeah, was just having a bit of a sad day i think! "
Keep the faith |
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"I’m single 5 years now. Yes I do desire to meet the right person for me at times but the slightest sniff of disrespect I’m gone so i have accepted the fact I be forever alone.
Also the thoughts of sharing my space with someone gives me the ick.
Closing your door and having that space is priceless "
Absolutely and with a shadow of a doubt, this |
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By *issC_UseMeWoman
over a year ago
London & South Coast |
This is such an interesting thread.
Like others, I came to fab after getting out of a (very) long relationship where I'd definitely lost myself by trying to make the other person happy.
Experimenting with my sexuality and basically living out the promiscuous teen years I was too shy and sensible to have was so much fun.
A silver lining of a pretty painful siruationship with someone I met on fab is that I've realised I think I'm at a point where I want something more meaningful. That I miss that kind of on the couch quietly watching movies easy intimacy.
There will have to be some element of kink, obviously. This site has been great for helping me figure out who I am as an individual. Now I know that, I can take or leave a relationship, and I certainly won't settle for anyone who expects me to be anything less than myself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is such an interesting thread.
Like others, I came to fab after getting out of a (very) long relationship where I'd definitely lost myself by trying to make the other person happy.
Experimenting with my sexuality and basically living out the promiscuous teen years I was too shy and sensible to have was so much fun.
A silver lining of a pretty painful siruationship with someone I met on fab is that I've realised I think I'm at a point where I want something more meaningful. That I miss that kind of on the couch quietly watching movies easy intimacy.
There will have to be some element of kink, obviously. This site has been great for helping me figure out who I am as an individual. Now I know that, I can take or leave a relationship, and I certainly won't settle for anyone who expects me to be anything less than myself."
"This is such an interesting thread.
Like others, I came to fab after getting out of a (very) long relationship where I'd definitely lost myself by trying to make the other person happy.
Experimenting with my sexuality and basically living out the promiscuous teen years I was too shy and sensible to have was so much fun.
A silver lining of a pretty painful siruationship with someone I met on fab is that I've realised I think I'm at a point where I want something more meaningful. That I miss that kind of on the couch quietly watching movies easy intimacy.
There will have to be some element of kink, obviously. This site has been great for helping me figure out who I am as an individual. Now I know that, I can take or leave a relationship, and I certainly won't settle for anyone who expects me to be anything less than myself."
This sums it up !
Since I’ve been on my single/fab/swinging journey it has defo changed my whole attitude to everything and improved my sex life and outlook to sex.
It’s gonna take a bit more than an above average dick game to impress me.
Dick is dick at the end of the day.
Sexual chemistry is great and it’s so easily attainable though (and honestly no woman will ever take a man seriously who can be obtained by every woman ) it’s nothing compared intimacy though.
Personally I think the longer you are single when I say single I mean and not riding anyone at all (having an fwb and being single does not fall into this category) the harder it will be to impress someone who is single
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