FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Swingers .....what does it mean to you
Swingers .....what does it mean to you
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By *og-Man OP Man
over a year ago
somewhere |
Swingers ....collins English Dictionary
Swingers are people who are married or in a long term relationship and who like to have sex with other people's partners
So single men and woman are not swingers ...or are they
Fuck buddies or friends with benefits are not swingers ...or are they
Exactly how long do you have to be in a relationship for it to be long term or if its a new relationship does it not count
I seem to remember that a previous thread asking if you considered yourself a swinger and most people on here said no
If you're married in a religious ceremony then I presume you're breaking their rules or commandments if you're having sex outside that marriage ( is there a religion that says its fine )
So why is it a problem what others do.....
Not judging just issues in my head since the radio show yesterday
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For me personally just because I don’t have a partner doesn't change my interest or willingness to participate in this lifestyle. I joined 5 years ago to use it solely to meet single guys and didn't consider myself a swinger back then but I consider myself to be one now. |
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By *1CorkCouple
over a year ago
Cork |
Why is it so wrong for couples who engage in ethical non monogamy to have a name for their activity - swinging. Just because the couples might engage in that activity with single men or single women, doesn’t automatically make those singletons swingers. |
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"ETHICAL non-monogamy"
INFORMAL
a lively and fashionable person who goes to a lot of social events.
"one of the oldest swingers in town"
2.
INFORMAL
a person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners.
"a twilight world of swingers and wife-swapping"
a person who dates/sleeps with multiple people at the same time.
"you seein' someone?"
"im seein a few people, i guess you could say"
"oh, so you're a swinger?"
noun One that swings.
noun A person who actively seeks excitement and moves with the latest trends.
noun A person who engages freely in promiscuous sex.
noun A member of a couple, especially a married couple, who exchanges sexual partners.
nging, sometimes called wife-swapping, husband-swapping, or partner-swapping, is a sexual activity in which both singles and partners in a committed relationship sexually engage with others for recreational purposes.[1] Swinging is a form of non-monogamy and is an open relationship. People may choose a swinging lifestyle for a variety of reasons. Practitioners cite an increased quality and quantity of sex.
The definition of swinger in the dictionary is a person regarded as being modern and lively. Other definition of swinger is a person who swaps sexual partners in a group, esp habitually.
INFORMAL
the practice of engaging in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners within a group, especially on a habitual basis.
Informal term for unreserved, bold sexual behaviour. Such behaviour is expressed through sexual experiments, exchanges of sexual partners between couples, etc. It is a slang term used for expressing uncontrolled sexual activity.
Its interesting that none of the above include the word "ethical"
May simply be due to ethics being personal! |
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By *og-Man OP Man
over a year ago
somewhere |
"Why is it so wrong for couples who engage in ethical non monogamy to have a name for their activity - swinging. Just because the couples might engage in that activity with single men or single women, doesn’t automatically make those singletons swingers."
So what would you call the single people |
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By *affa31Woman
over a year ago
Galway |
"Why is it so wrong for couples who engage in ethical non monogamy to have a name for their activity - swinging. Just because the couples might engage in that activity with single men or single women, doesn’t automatically make those singletons swingers.
So what would you call the single people"
Scuts  |
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Back in my youth on here as a single guy I would have classed myself as a swinger as I regularly met couples and women, attached but playing with permission and single alike.
Nowadays I haven't a clue what I would class myself. I haven't played with someone other then Dee for a number of years for reasons I won't go into. I do enjoy Dee playing with others but not in a cuckold way. Honestly I have no idea and I won't worry about it. Never been one to put a label on myself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is it so wrong for couples who engage in ethical non monogamy to have a name for their activity - swinging. Just because the couples might engage in that activity with single men or single women, doesn’t automatically make those singletons swingers.
So what would you call the single people"
Players!!! More than lightly in this category women don’t want to commit to a relationship with a guy. But would rather play with multiple partners. And guy can’t get a woman to commit so lands up doing same. Or Greek word Polyamory ( it’s shit!!!) |
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By *affa31Woman
over a year ago
Galway |
"Why is it so wrong for couples who engage in ethical non monogamy to have a name for their activity - swinging. Just because the couples might engage in that activity with single men or single women, doesn’t automatically make those singletons swingers.
So what would you call the single people
Players!!! More than lightly in this category women don’t want to commit to a relationship with a guy. But would rather play with multiple partners. And guy can’t get a woman to commit so lands up doing same. Or Greek word Polyamory ( it’s shit!!!)"
Wooo there’s a bang of misogyny off that post! |
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By *anandJCouple
over a year ago
Citywest |
"ETHICAL non-monogamy.
Its interesting that none of the above include the word "ethical"
May simply be due to ethics being personal! "
But you have read the headline and you know that it’s along what it mean to you? Right? For me it’s ethical for you not- enjoy it, just not with me |
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"ETHICAL non-monogamy.
Its interesting that none of the above include the word "ethical"
May simply be due to ethics being personal!
But you have read the headline and you know that it’s along what it mean to you? Right? For me it’s ethical for you not- enjoy it, just not with me "
If you weren't so hell bent on forcing your view .... but SHOUTING... you'd have realized I haven't given my at all  |
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By *1CorkCouple
over a year ago
Cork |
"Why is it so wrong for couples who engage in ethical non monogamy to have a name for their activity - swinging. Just because the couples might engage in that activity with single men or single women, doesn’t automatically make those singletons swingers.
So what would you call the single people"
Smart answer: we call them by their names.
Kerry answer: Why do they have to be called something?
Our answer: just individual people that have a kink for threesomes and/ or groupsex. We genuinely aren’t aware of any collective name or nomenclature for them, at least not in same way the established understanding of ‘Swingers’ referring to couples who swap partners. |
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By *1CorkCouple
over a year ago
Cork |
Sometimes we swing with couples. Sometimes we have threesomes (mostly with men). Sometimes we have groupsex with a few men or with a mixture of men and women and/ or a mixture of couples and singletons. It doesn’t bother us if some of our non-monogamous activity isn’t swinging. Why does it bother single people if they aren’t ‘classified’ as swingers? |
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"Sometimes we swing with couples. Sometimes we have threesomes (mostly with men). Sometimes we have groupsex with a few men or with a mixture of men and women and/ or a mixture of couples and singletons. It doesn’t bother us if some of our non-monogamous activity isn’t swinging. Why does it bother single people if they aren’t ‘classified’ as swingers?"
Why do you think it dose bother single people that you don't classify them as swingers?
I wager most people couldn't give a fuck what others classify them as .. and if singles want to classify themselves as swingers who is anyone to tell them they are wrong ?
Its an ever evolving definition in itself  |
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By *1CorkCouple
over a year ago
Cork |
"Sometimes we swing with couples. Sometimes we have threesomes (mostly with men). Sometimes we have groupsex with a few men or with a mixture of men and women and/ or a mixture of couples and singletons. It doesn’t bother us if some of our non-monogamous activity isn’t swinging. Why does it bother single people if they aren’t ‘classified’ as swingers?
Why do you think it dose bother single people that you don't classify them as swingers?
I wager most people couldn't give a fuck what others classify them as .. and if singles want to classify themselves as swingers who is anyone to tell them they are wrong ?
Its an ever evolving definition in itself "
You’re right. That was a clumsy assumption on our part. The assumption being that if a person identifies as X, they wish to be accepted as X. Also premised on the very discussion about the classification, meaning it is important to some at least.
We are, however, entitled to think singles who classify themselves as swingers may be stretching the definition / long established use of the term. We weren’t aware the definition was evolving, but happy to be classified as dinosaurs if this is the case. |
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"Sometimes we swing with couples. Sometimes we have threesomes (mostly with men). Sometimes we have groupsex with a few men or with a mixture of men and women and/ or a mixture of couples and singletons. It doesn’t bother us if some of our non-monogamous activity isn’t swinging. Why does it bother single people if they aren’t ‘classified’ as swingers?
Why do you think it dose bother single people that you don't classify them as swingers?
I wager most people couldn't give a fuck what others classify them as .. and if singles want to classify themselves as swingers who is anyone to tell them they are wrong ?
Its an ever evolving definition in itself
You’re right. That was a clumsy assumption on our part. The assumption being that if a person identifies as X, they wish to be accepted as X. Also premised on the very discussion about the classification, meaning it is important to some at least.
We are, however, entitled to think singles who classify themselves as swingers may be stretching the definition / long established use of the term. We weren’t aware the definition was evolving, but happy to be classified as dinosaurs if this is the case."
Swinging dinosaurs it is so ... good username |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me personally just because I don’t have a partner doesn't change my interest or willingness to participate in this lifestyle. I joined 5 years ago to use it solely to meet single guys and didn't consider myself a swinger back then but I consider myself to be one now. "
A single person can always decide wether they're a Swinger or not, a single person doesn't need anyone's permission to do so , a single person isn't a cheater, a single person can fuck whoever they want , provided the other person/s wants to fuck them as well, whatever a single person wants to do is completely up to themselves , a huge element in their life , no one to answer to or hide their actions from ...way ta go lady ..  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is it so wrong for couples who engage in ethical non monogamy to have a name for their activity - swinging. Just because the couples might engage in that activity with single men or single women, doesn’t automatically make those singletons swingers.
So what would you call the single people
Players!!! More than lightly in this category women don’t want to commit to a relationship with a guy. But would rather play with multiple partners. And guy can’t get a woman to commit so lands up doing same. Or Greek word Polyamory ( it’s shit!!!)"
Not all guys are players . |
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By *ohnFKMan
over a year ago
Where the Streets Have No Name |
I feel like I'm a swinger.
- But perhaps I am not.
I don't really mind if others don't see me as one.
I do like the 'ethical non monogamy' classification... whether it's a label or not, I think it's a nice term/roadmap for the lifestyle I find myself in.
(In my head, for whatever reason, a player is a little different: perhaps a little less honest, or a little less open.)
But again...just in my head.
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I can't decide who is more annoyed
a) the couples at singles claiming they are swingers or
b) the singles at couples claiming they are not!
How about we concentrate on the first part of the site name and just try to be fab! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Damned if we know! We're just here muddling along, enjoying the craic, going to some socials and occasionally having sex with other people, mostly together.
I think what stings,for me, with the idea that only couples are really swingers and that singles aren't - even if that couple only ever exclusively meets singles in whatever guise that takes - is that it almost treats the single as a commodity; a plaything for the couple that devalues the role of the single. And I know that's probably not what people mean when they say that, but that's how it makes me feel. It makes me uncomfortable |
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We're together nearly 29 years and we dont put a label on it. We're just here to have fun. Together, separately, with couples, with singles whatever tickles our fancy at the time. As long as we arent hurting each other or anyone else who cares what the term is for it! |
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"We're together nearly 29 years and we dont put a label on it. We're just here to have fun. Together, separately, with couples, with singles whatever tickles our fancy at the time. As long as we arent hurting each other or anyone else who cares what the term is for it! "
That’s it 100%
It’s all about your own fun |
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By *eijaWoman
over a year ago
City Centre |
"Damned if we know! We're just here muddling along, enjoying the craic, going to some socials and occasionally having sex with other people, mostly together.
I think what stings,for me, with the idea that only couples are really swingers and that singles aren't - even if that couple only ever exclusively meets singles in whatever guise that takes - is that it almost treats the single as a commodity; a plaything for the couple that devalues the role of the single. And I know that's probably not what people mean when they say that, but that's how it makes me feel. It makes me uncomfortable "
This has been a bug bear of mine for many years. I've been in the scene over 10 years and have experience as a single but also as part of a couple.
Whilst I have such amazing friends in the scene (both singles and couples) and I really feel part of a really great open minded community, I do feel (and I have had this discussion many many times) that singles can be treated on occasion as commodities. Whilst I say this most couples are very inclusive of singles but some do treat singles like their play things.
I am all about inclusivity and having mutual pleasure and fun. No one should be made feel 2nd class or left out.
There are so many wonderful singles in the scene and sure most couples fantasies wouldn't be fulfilled without them.
I totally understand people's frustration with the million guys using the scene purely as a hook up site but there are PLENTY of genuine single men who are swingers and embrace this lifestyle.
As for cheating (meeting without the consent of your partner I've also been very vocal about that. It is not ethical and not right. Believe me I've been cheated on and it is horrible. It can break you as a person and lead to trust issues in the future. As I always say put yourself in your partner's shoes and imagine the heart break and devastation you will cause. This community is a very open one (which I love) so why do something like that. It makes no sense to me never will (no matter how many times you explain your circumstances). Cheating is an choice I want nothing to do with.
These are just my opinions and in my experience.
B x |
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By *affa31Woman
over a year ago
Galway |
What I don’t understand is what the problem is with people using the site as a hook up site? I will agree that it’s not it’s original intent but in all honesty, who cares?
There are plenty of couples who will only meet a single guy or girl once, with no repeat meets. Is that not technically a hook up?
Can we not just agree to use the site however we want, while being respectful towards everybody and their choices.
As for labels, my choice would be scut or slapper |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What I don’t understand is what the problem is with people using the site as a hook up site? I will agree that it’s not it’s original intent but in all honesty, who cares?
There are plenty of couples who will only meet a single guy or girl once, with no repeat meets. Is that not technically a hook up?
Can we not just agree to use the site however we want, while being respectful towards everybody and their choices.
As for labels, my choice would be scut or slapper "
Agreed Jaffa. We almost exclusively meet single guys, repeat meets are the exception not the rule for us (though if they happen, great), we've never met anyone for sex off the back of a social or M&G, we usually meet without a social first...so to all intents and purposes, hook ups. |
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By *affa31Woman
over a year ago
Galway |
"What I don’t understand is what the problem is with people using the site as a hook up site? I will agree that it’s not it’s original intent but in all honesty, who cares?
There are plenty of couples who will only meet a single guy or girl once, with no repeat meets. Is that not technically a hook up?
Can we not just agree to use the site however we want, while being respectful towards everybody and their choices.
As for labels, my choice would be scut or slapper
Agreed Jaffa. We almost exclusively meet single guys, repeat meets are the exception not the rule for us (though if they happen, great), we've never met anyone for sex off the back of a social or M&G, we usually meet without a social first...so to all intents and purposes, hook ups."
Feckin scuts  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What I don’t understand is what the problem is with people using the site as a hook up site? I will agree that it’s not it’s original intent but in all honesty, who cares?
There are plenty of couples who will only meet a single guy or girl once, with no repeat meets. Is that not technically a hook up?
Can we not just agree to use the site however we want, while being respectful towards everybody and their choices.
As for labels, my choice would be scut or slapper
Agreed Jaffa. We almost exclusively meet single guys, repeat meets are the exception not the rule for us (though if they happen, great), we've never met anyone for sex off the back of a social or M&G, we usually meet without a social first...so to all intents and purposes, hook ups.
Feckin scuts "
Down with that sort of thing  |
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"What I don’t understand is what the problem is with people using the site as a hook up site? I will agree that it’s not it’s original intent but in all honesty, who cares?
There are plenty of couples who will only meet a single guy or girl once, with no repeat meets. Is that not technically a hook up?
Can we not just agree to use the site however we want, while being respectful towards everybody and their choices.
As for labels, my choice would be scut or slapper "
This! |
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
"ETHICAL non-monogamy
INFORMAL
a lively and fashionable person who goes to a lot of social events.
"one of the oldest swingers in town"
2.
INFORMAL
a person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners.
"a twilight world of swingers and wife-swapping"
a person who dates/sleeps with multiple people at the same time.
"you seein' someone?"
"im seein a few people, i guess you could say"
"oh, so you're a swinger?"
noun One that swings.
noun A person who actively seeks excitement and moves with the latest trends.
noun A person who engages freely in promiscuous sex.
noun A member of a couple, especially a married couple, who exchanges sexual partners.
nging, sometimes called wife-swapping, husband-swapping, or partner-swapping, is a sexual activity in which both singles and partners in a committed relationship sexually engage with others for recreational purposes.[1] Swinging is a form of non-monogamy and is an open relationship. People may choose a swinging lifestyle for a variety of reasons. Practitioners cite an increased quality and quantity of sex.
The definition of swinger in the dictionary is a person regarded as being modern and lively. Other definition of swinger is a person who swaps sexual partners in a group, esp habitually.
INFORMAL
the practice of engaging in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners within a group, especially on a habitual basis.
Informal term for unreserved, bold sexual behaviour. Such behaviour is expressed through sexual experiments, exchanges of sexual partners between couples, etc. It is a slang term used for expressing uncontrolled sexual activity.
Its interesting that none of the above include the word "ethical"
May simply be due to ethics being personal! "
Ethical or not, personal or not, I think swinging has very little to do with monogamy/non-monogamy. It simply refers to being sexually promiscuous while the greek root -gamy indicates and involves committing relationship(s).
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I don't think it matters much. Singles are necessary for what many/most couples are looking for.
Fab is a commercial entity that own and run this site, and of they are happy then it matters precisely fuckall when mine or anyone else's opinions are on the subject. |
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"What I don’t understand is what the problem is with people using the site as a hook up site? I will agree that it’s not it’s original intent but in all honesty, who cares?
There are plenty of couples who will only meet a single guy or girl once, with no repeat meets. Is that not technically a hook up?
Can we not just agree to use the site however we want, while being respectful towards everybody and their choices.
As for labels, my choice would be scut or slapper "
100% agree.
I think people get annoyed at ones who assume if you're here - you must be here only for quick, faceless hookups and everyone is fair game. All they need to do is drop you a dick pic for evaluation and that's you good to go.
You know the sort I'm talking about?
The "wanna fuck" brigade with zero human manners. |
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"What I don’t understand is what the problem is with people using the site as a hook up site? I will agree that it’s not it’s original intent but in all honesty, who cares?
There are plenty of couples who will only meet a single guy or girl once, with no repeat meets. Is that not technically a hook up?
Can we not just agree to use the site however we want, while being respectful towards everybody and their choices.
As for labels, my choice would be scut or slapper "
I agree. There are plenty of people on fab and in the swinging scene for decades who purely just want sex and not the social site. To describe swinging as a social community Lucy who occasionally swap partners as couples is not only Stone age but incorrect.
It's not the 60s with key parties for couples anymore. Jesus move on live and let live.
Isragaard's cheating.
Who is anyone to say what is right or wrong for another person when they can't possibly understand what they are experiencing or going through or where they are thinking from.
I've been cheated on in the past. I've never cheated on anyone and absolutely never will. I don't see any excuse for it and have 0 tolerance for it whatsoever.
That doesn't stop me acknowledging the fact that those are moi morals and my boundaries and may not be somebody else's and that doesn't make them different. It makes them wrong for me and anyone I care about I can't assume it makes them wrong for them.
Wanting I do think some of these trends are highlighting within the swinging scene in Ireland. There appear to be some egotistical control freaks who believe they're no best for everybody and the dare point of view Must Be right for all. Honestly in my opinion I think that flies in the face of openness and acceptance of different sexual preferences and lifestyles.
It's a high fall from your high horse let me tell you |
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"What I don’t understand is what the problem is with people using the site as a hook up site? I will agree that it’s not it’s original intent but in all honesty, who cares?
There are plenty of couples who will only meet a single guy or girl once, with no repeat meets. Is that not technically a hook up?
Can we not just agree to use the site however we want, while being respectful towards everybody and their choices.
As for labels, my choice would be scut or slapper
100% agree.
I think people get annoyed at ones who assume if you're here - you must be here only for quick, faceless hookups and everyone is fair game. All they need to do is drop you a dick pic for evaluation and that's you good to go.
You know the sort I'm talking about?
The "wanna fuck" brigade with zero human manners. "
I think the bit some seem annoyed with is being comfortable with the fact that at least 50% of fab users use it exactly as you described above and are entitled too. |
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By *affa31Woman
over a year ago
Galway |
"What I don’t understand is what the problem is with people using the site as a hook up site? I will agree that it’s not it’s original intent but in all honesty, who cares?
There are plenty of couples who will only meet a single guy or girl once, with no repeat meets. Is that not technically a hook up?
Can we not just agree to use the site however we want, while being respectful towards everybody and their choices.
As for labels, my choice would be scut or slapper
100% agree.
I think people get annoyed at ones who assume if you're here - you must be here only for quick, faceless hookups and everyone is fair game. All they need to do is drop you a dick pic for evaluation and that's you good to go.
You know the sort I'm talking about?
The "wanna fuck" brigade with zero human manners. "
Sure we all get annoyed at them and there’s plenty of women who behave in that way too. They’re just doses though and it’s easy enough to ignore them.
There’s a difference between them and those of us just here for casual sex though.
The site would be very quiet without us, the clubs would have less attendees and couples would struggle to fulfil their fantasies. It’s fairly tiresome to hear that we don’t belong and should fuck off to one of the many apps.
Btw, most of that isn’t even a reply to you Missus…mostly just ramblings. I’m fairly certain you don’t see singles as surplus to requirements  |
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"What I don’t understand is what the problem is with people using the site as a hook up site? I will agree that it’s not it’s original intent but in all honesty, who cares?
There are plenty of couples who will only meet a single guy or girl once, with no repeat meets. Is that not technically a hook up?
Can we not just agree to use the site however we want, while being respectful towards everybody and their choices.
As for labels, my choice would be scut or slapper
100% agree.
I think people get annoyed at ones who assume if you're here - you must be here only for quick, faceless hookups and everyone is fair game. All they need to do is drop you a dick pic for evaluation and that's you good to go.
You know the sort I'm talking about?
The "wanna fuck" brigade with zero human manners.
Sure we all get annoyed at them and there’s plenty of women who behave in that way too. They’re just doses though and it’s easy enough to ignore them.
There’s a difference between them and those of us just here for casual sex though.
The site would be very quiet without us, the clubs would have less attendees and couples would struggle to fulfil their fantasies. It’s fairly tiresome to hear that we don’t belong and should fuck off to one of the many apps.
Btw, most of that isn’t even a reply to you Missus…mostly just ramblings. I’m fairly certain you don’t see singles as surplus to requirements "
I love singles
Also believe that singes can very much be swingers. Like if a single wants to sleep around for a bit, have a bit of fun, but only sees themselves settling down for a monogamous relationship in future - they're obviously not swingers. Do they still belong in a lifestyle - yes of course, while they're still single.
If they decide to continue their lifestyle after forming a monogamous relationship, well, I think everyone knows at this point what I think of them lol
But there's also lots of singles who do want to meet someone to share a swinging lifestyle with.
Those people imo are as much swingers as swinging couples. They just haven't found their swinging buddy yet
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