FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > The elephant in the room...
The elephant in the room...
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So, I've been on here quite some time. At various moments I'm active. Other times not so much so, the same as anyone really sometimes life gets in the way.
I suppose to get to the subject of this; the ratio of men to women on here is obviously stacked favourably towards the lady folk. I find it incredibly hard to even get a conversation started where by you could get to know someone and arrange a social date at the least like.
I wouldn't say by any stretch I'm any ugly cvnt but equally I'm no Brad Pitt like but what is the deal? It seems awfully cliquey, like there are fab people & then there's everyone else who can't get a "text back".
I dunno what else to say but I think it's worth a discussion.
Not intending to in any way come across as having a sense of entitlement and well aware that theres no obligation for anyone to reply like but moreso just curious how does one "join the club" feel like I'm walking up to the door and being told "members only" 
I'm a decent enough looking bloke, intelligent, good sense of humour and we'll able to make people laugh, not in anyway hung like a horse or anything (average enough) but a tongue like a jackhammer also 
Anyhow, let's discuss this.....(braces himself) |
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Effort, patience and consistency are the buzzwords.
There's no one size fits all in regards to profiles, pics, messages or interests but you have to show a willingness to make an effort with all of those and keep them consistent with your forum engagement and interaction through group socials etc.
After that it's all about your own level of patience.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP try the help a fabber out, if someone is in your area can meet up for a cuppa and verify you, hope it helps, Dv8 has socials for newbies,just keep looking chatting on the forum, people will get to know you and your personality |
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"Effort, patience and consistency are the buzzwords.
There's no one size fits all in regards to profiles, pics, messages or interests but you have to show a willingness to make an effort with all of those and keep them consistent with your forum engagement and interaction through group socials etc.
After that it's all about your own level of patience.
"
That's true indeed, I guess it's moreso just a case of wondering "what gives like?" I understand it's ladies pick here and I ain't by any means looking for a penpal.
I would say I am cheeky but respectful 100% and do try to put a little thought into what it is I mail. Sure enough I have fell victim to my own horniness once or twice and haven't been as articulate as usual but it's all a learning curve like. |
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"I would say, try going to a few socials to get to know people face to face. It's very difficult to put your full personality forward over mails."
Yeah I have seen quite a few on here chatting about the events. I'm a little shy though, I mean I'm quite a private guy and would be introverted and nervous intially but give me an hour or so in the company of someone sound and jaysus the craic flows well like. |
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Stay the course.
Be creative with your messages....think outside the box.....absolutely soo many guys are on fab but 95% I'm told are absolute muppets.....
Some ladies wasn't a gent some want a prick...its hard but stay with it |
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"OP try the help a fabber out, if someone is in your area can meet up for a cuppa and verify you, hope it helps, Dv8 has socials for newbies,just keep looking chatting on the forum, people will get to know you and your personality"
Cheers Louise, you'd defo be on my "hitlist"  and your local so by all means if you are available for a drink some evening I'd be more than happy to meet....(risks severe rejection) #gottashootyourshotthough
For real though thanks for the tips. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I m going to be brutal, you need to try a few new poses, and get some really sharp, fresh boxers. I personally like lathered up shower shots. Get creative with the camera.... No toilets or trousers around the ankles. Think Calvin clein model.... Lols... Go for it.
The be chilled and up for a chat without expectation. Good luck. |
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"Stay the course.
Be creative with your messages....think outside the box.....absolutely soo many guys are on fab but 95% I'm told are absolute muppets.....
Some ladies wasn't a gent some want a prick...its hard but stay with it"
On the ball James sound for writing back and giving me some tips, much appreciated lad! |
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"I m going to be brutal, you need to try a few new poses, and get some really sharp, fresh boxers. I personally like lathered up shower shots. Get creative with the camera.... No toilets or trousers around the ankles. Think Calvin clein model.... Lols... Go for it.
The be chilled and up for a chat without expectation. Good luck. "
haha thanks for the tips lad & the so comedically put way of delivering that message.  |
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Don't forget that even though there are a bunch of people on here that are familiar through the forum and socials etc. That's a very small part of the over all fab membership.
And stick around for long though and you too will be a part of the clique whether you like it or not |
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"So, I've been on here quite some time. At various moments I'm active. Other times not so much so, the same as anyone really sometimes life gets in the way.
I suppose to get to the subject of this; the ratio of men to women on here is obviously stacked favourably towards the lady folk. I find it incredibly hard to even get a conversation started where by you could get to know someone and arrange a social date at the least like.
I wouldn't say by any stretch I'm any ugly cvnt but equally I'm no Brad Pitt like but what is the deal? It seems awfully cliquey, like there are fab people & then there's everyone else who can't get a "text back".
I dunno what else to say but I think it's worth a discussion.
Not intending to in any way come across as having a sense of entitlement and well aware that theres no obligation for anyone to reply like but moreso just curious how does one "join the club" feel like I'm walking up to the door and being told "members only"
I'm a decent enough looking bloke, intelligent, good sense of humour and we'll able to make people laugh, not in anyway hung like a horse or anything (average enough) but a tongue like a jackhammer also
Anyhow, let's discuss this.....(braces himself)"
Like you said ... you've been on here a while and you see a difference in how people interact.
Fab is far more about socials than it was 10 years ago .
There is a bit of a clique, however nothing worth paying any notice of as there are more fabbers who are not that way incline .
The forums give the impression that if your not in your out ... thats only because a small cohort of fab use them !
I've been on and off for quite some time and I can assure you the cliques are minorities and most on here don't buy into it
Socials are good if thats your thing ... offering a simple no conditions coffee meet on your profile is another ... also really take the time to only message the profiles you have fully looked over and really want to meet .
Just remember, there are way more fabbers on here that don't attend socials or forums and are meeting!
Best of luck bud. |
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"So, I've been on here quite some time. At various moments I'm active. Other times not so much so, the same as anyone really sometimes life gets in the way.
I suppose to get to the subject of this; the ratio of men to women on here is obviously stacked favourably towards the lady folk. I find it incredibly hard to even get a conversation started where by you could get to know someone and arrange a social date at the least like.
I wouldn't say by any stretch I'm any ugly cvnt but equally I'm no Brad Pitt like but what is the deal? It seems awfully cliquey, like there are fab people & then there's everyone else who can't get a "text back".
I dunno what else to say but I think it's worth a discussion.
Not intending to in any way come across as having a sense of entitlement and well aware that theres no obligation for anyone to reply like but moreso just curious how does one "join the club" feel like I'm walking up to the door and being told "members only"
I'm a decent enough looking bloke, intelligent, good sense of humour and we'll able to make people laugh, not in anyway hung like a horse or anything (average enough) but a tongue like a jackhammer also
Anyhow, let's discuss this.....(braces himself)
Like you said ... you've been on here a while and you see a difference in how people interact.
Fab is far more about socials than it was 10 years ago .
There is a bit of a clique, however nothing worth paying any notice of as there are more fabbers who are not that way incline .
The forums give the impression that if your not in your out ... thats only because a small cohort of fab use them !
I've been on and off for quite some time and I can assure you the cliques are minorities and most on here don't buy into it
Socials are good if thats your thing ... offering a simple no conditions coffee meet on your profile is another ... also really take the time to only message the profiles you have fully looked over and really want to meet .
Just remember, there are way more fabbers on here that don't attend socials or forums and are meeting!
Best of luck bud. "
Some solid advice there lad, thanks a mill! |
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"Personally speaking i always look at a persons profile/bio before choosing whether or not to engage. If theres nothing in the profile or pictures then there wont be a conversation"
Should say in theres nothing in the profile or pictures that captures my interest |
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"Personally speaking i always look at a persons profile/bio before choosing whether or not to engage. If theres nothing in the profile or pictures then there wont be a conversation"
That's fair enough too, guess I'll have to jizz I mean jazz it up a little thanks for your reply and tips |
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"Personally speaking i always look at a persons profile/bio before choosing whether or not to engage. If theres nothing in the profile or pictures then there wont be a conversation
Should say in theres nothing in the profile or pictures that captures my interest"
Totally got what you meant despite the "typo"
Thanks again |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
Op take part in the forums...let people see your personality...get your name out there....don't bother sending messages ....women get dozens every day if they allow their filters to let them past
Don't get worried about ratio's of women to men....nothing you can do about that
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP try the help a fabber out, if someone is in your area can meet up for a cuppa and verify you, hope it helps, Dv8 has socials for newbies,just keep looking chatting on the forum, people will get to know you and your personality"
Sound advice |
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"Op take part in the forums...let people see your personality...get your name out there....don't bother sending messages ....women get dozens every day if they allow their filters to let them past
Don't get worried about ratio's of women to men....nothing you can do about that
"
Sound man, yeah I'm beginning to get the sense that the forums are certainly a place to become more acquainted with like-minded folk.
Thanks for your reply! |
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"OP try the help a fabber out, if someone is in your area can meet up for a cuppa and verify you, hope it helps, Dv8 has socials for newbies,just keep looking chatting on the forum, people will get to know you and your personality
Sound advice "
In fairness she did hit the nail on the head there! Cheers for replying yourself too. Thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP try the help a fabber out, if someone is in your area can meet up for a cuppa and verify you, hope it helps, Dv8 has socials for newbies,just keep looking chatting on the forum, people will get to know you and your personality
Sound advice
In fairness she did hit the nail on the head there! Cheers for replying yourself too. Thanks "
persevere and be yourself |
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"OP try the help a fabber out, if someone is in your area can meet up for a cuppa and verify you, hope it helps, Dv8 has socials for newbies,just keep looking chatting on the forum, people will get to know you and your personality
Sound advice
In fairness she did hit the nail on the head there! Cheers for replying yourself too. Thanks persevere and be yourself "
On the ball lad, thanks again |
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"Op take part in the forums...let people see your personality...get your name out there....don't bother sending messages ....women get dozens every day if they allow their filters to let them past
Don't get worried about ratio's of women to men....nothing you can do about that
"
that limits the amount and the personality types to a minor selection of fab , think broader, and use the forums too if it suits ya. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My last meet was unverified and I've met plenty of unverified people over the years. I met them because they were lovely sound genuine nice decent not pushy people who actually talked to me like I'm a person rather than a set of holes. Normal conversation to me is a turn on rather than the usual nice ass can I fuck it messages I normally get. |
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"My last meet was unverified and I've met plenty of unverified people over the years. I met them because they were lovely sound genuine nice decent not pushy people who actually talked to me like I'm a person rather than a set of holes. Normal conversation to me is a turn on rather than the usual nice ass can I fuck it messages I normally get. "
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My last meet was unverified and I've met plenty of unverified people over the years. I met them because they were lovely sound genuine nice decent not pushy people who actually talked to me like I'm a person rather than a set of holes. Normal conversation to me is a turn on rather than the usual nice ass can I fuck it messages I normally get.
This "
Again This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My last meet was unverified and I've met plenty of unverified people over the years. I met them because they were lovely sound genuine nice decent not pushy people who actually talked to me like I'm a person rather than a set of holes. Normal conversation to me is a turn on rather than the usual nice ass can I fuck it messages I normally get. "
You mean women want to be treated like actual human beings?! Heresy!
It really is amazing how many guys forget this. Or know it in the first place, maybe! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My last meet was unverified and I've met plenty of unverified people over the years. I met them because they were lovely sound genuine nice decent not pushy people who actually talked to me like I'm a person rather than a set of holes. Normal conversation to me is a turn on rather than the usual nice ass can I fuck it messages I normally get. "
Rosy I see you on my near by list |
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"My last meet was unverified and I've met plenty of unverified people over the years. I met them because they were lovely sound genuine nice decent not pushy people who actually talked to me like I'm a person rather than a set of holes. Normal conversation to me is a turn on rather than the usual nice ass can I fuck it messages I normally get. "
Yeah to be fair I think it's just a case of the right tone in messages. I mean I'm respectful and perhaps to a fault a little cheeky to boot but I guess some may find that to be a charm. I never address a lady like she is some kind of sex doll and above all would rarely send a dreaded "cock pic" but at the same time it's hard to chisel through the wall of dickheads that have arrived previously in the inbox of a woman on here.
For example, I've seen your profile on here and being honest have kinda felt like "sure she must get tonnes of mails" so I kinda hold back on reaching out because I think there ain't a hope she will even see it amongst all the wonderful dickheads.
That being said, I'd be more than happy to learn a bit more about ya!  
Thanks for your reply! |
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"My last meet was unverified and I've met plenty of unverified people over the years. I met them because they were lovely sound genuine nice decent not pushy people who actually talked to me like I'm a person rather than a set of holes. Normal conversation to me is a turn on rather than the usual nice ass can I fuck it messages I normally get.
This "
Yes a great reply from her. Thanks for your acknowledgement of the post also, drop by and say hi sometime if you want or I will more than happily send you an intro mail. |
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"My last meet was unverified and I've met plenty of unverified people over the years. I met them because they were lovely sound genuine nice decent not pushy people who actually talked to me like I'm a person rather than a set of holes. Normal conversation to me is a turn on rather than the usual nice ass can I fuck it messages I normally get.
You mean women want to be treated like actual human beings?! Heresy!
It really is amazing how many guys forget this. Or know it in the first place, maybe!"
Haha I enjoy sarcasm and humour lad. And indeed I concur, it's the few rotten apples that spoil it for the good eggs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My last meet was unverified and I've met plenty of unverified people over the years. I met them because they were lovely sound genuine nice decent not pushy people who actually talked to me like I'm a person rather than a set of holes. Normal conversation to me is a turn on rather than the usual nice ass can I fuck it messages I normally get.
Rosy I see you on my near by list "
I was actually having dinner with a new enough guy on the scene. An example of one of the many guys here just genuinely a nice guy who knows how to speak to a lady. We're all here for the same thing but you can do it in a respectful way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My last meet was unverified and I've met plenty of unverified people over the years. I met them because they were lovely sound genuine nice decent not pushy people who actually talked to me like I'm a person rather than a set of holes. Normal conversation to me is a turn on rather than the usual nice ass can I fuck it messages I normally get.
Rosy I see you on my near by list
I was actually having dinner with a new enough guy on the scene. An example of one of the many guys here just genuinely a nice guy who knows how to speak to a lady. We're all here for the same thing but you can do it in a respectful way."
Sorry I ment no harm .. glad you had a lovely time |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
"My last meet was unverified and I've met plenty of unverified people over the years. I met them because they were lovely sound genuine nice decent not pushy people who actually talked to me like I'm a person rather than a set of holes. Normal conversation to me is a turn on rather than the usual nice ass can I fuck it messages I normally get.
Rosy I see you on my near by list
I was actually having dinner with a new enough guy on the scene. An example of one of the many guys here just genuinely a nice guy who knows how to speak to a lady. We're all here for the same thing but you can do it in a respectful way.
Sorry I ment no harm .. glad you had a lovely time "
Rosy didn't mean you ....she meant men in general being respectful |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My last meet was unverified and I've met plenty of unverified people over the years. I met them because they were lovely sound genuine nice decent not pushy people who actually talked to me like I'm a person rather than a set of holes. Normal conversation to me is a turn on rather than the usual nice ass can I fuck it messages I normally get.
Rosy I see you on my near by list
I was actually having dinner with a new enough guy on the scene. An example of one of the many guys here just genuinely a nice guy who knows how to speak to a lady. We're all here for the same thing but you can do it in a respectful way.
Sorry I ment no harm .. glad you had a lovely time
Rosy didn't mean you ....she meant men in general being respectful "
Yes exactly as BM said sorry that wasn't clear |
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"My last meet was unverified and I've met plenty of unverified people over the years. I met them because they were lovely sound genuine nice decent not pushy people who actually talked to me like I'm a person rather than a set of holes. Normal conversation to me is a turn on rather than the usual nice ass can I fuck it messages I normally get.
Rosy I see you on my near by list
I was actually having dinner with a new enough guy on the scene. An example of one of the many guys here just genuinely a nice guy who knows how to speak to a lady. We're all here for the same thing but you can do it in a respectful way.
Sorry I ment no harm .. glad you had a lovely time
Rosy didn't mean you ....she meant men in general being respectful "
Yeah sorry I got waht she meant by it I was just saying generally speaking I am a respectful guy on here like |
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"My last meet was unverified and I've met plenty of unverified people over the years. I met them because they were lovely sound genuine nice decent not pushy people who actually talked to me like I'm a person rather than a set of holes. Normal conversation to me is a turn on rather than the usual nice ass can I fuck it messages I normally get.
Rosy I see you on my near by list
I was actually having dinner with a new enough guy on the scene. An example of one of the many guys here just genuinely a nice guy who knows how to speak to a lady. We're all here for the same thing but you can do it in a respectful way.
Sorry I ment no harm .. glad you had a lovely time
Rosy didn't mean you ....she meant men in general being respectful
Yes exactly as BM said sorry that wasn't clear "
Nah totally clear, was just saying generally I am respectful when sending kails was all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don’t take it too seriously and it’ll just happen .. I don’t know how to explain it properly but just be patient , your a decent skin and eventually someone will see you and you’ll be what she / they want ..
Hard for ladies on here, they get fuckin bombarded every time their online .. and as Eric Cartman said (not about Fab but bear with me here ), “you’ve gotta wade through a lot of penis’s to find a friend “..
Hope that helps  |
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"Don’t take it too seriously and it’ll just happen .. I don’t know how to explain it properly but just be patient , your a decent skin and eventually someone will see you and you’ll be what she / they want ..
Hard for ladies on here, they get fuckin bombarded every time their online .. and as Eric Cartman said (not about Fab but bear with me here ), “you’ve gotta wade through a lot of penis’s to find a friend “..
Hope that helps "
True indeed man, I think the forums are a good place to break ice for sure based on the interaction and how active they are. Never bothered with them before really. On the ball for those words lad, well in agreement with ya! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Don’t take it too seriously and it’ll just happen .. I don’t know how to explain it properly but just be patient , your a decent skin and eventually someone will see you and you’ll be what she / they want ..
Hard for ladies on here, they get fuckin bombarded every time their online .. and as Eric Cartman said (not about Fab but bear with me here ), “you’ve gotta wade through a lot of penis’s to find a friend “..
Hope that helps "
.. Well said.. don't take it too seriously and have fun.. things happen naturally instead of forced |
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By *astelloWoman
over a year ago
Far far away |
Like many have said, it's not a race to the finish line.. All given above is good advice.. Those that read bios and make the effort to engage on that basis is far more appealing that hi, I'm horny line.
Work on the advice given and fortune favours the brave...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don’t take it too seriously and it’ll just happen .. I don’t know how to explain it properly but just be patient , your a decent skin and eventually someone will see you and you’ll be what she / they want ..
Hard for ladies on here, they get fuckin bombarded every time their online .. and as Eric Cartman said (not about Fab but bear with me here ), “you’ve gotta wade through a lot of penis’s to find a friend “..
Hope that helps
True indeed man, I think the forums are a good place to break ice for sure based on the interaction and how active they are. Never bothered with them before really. On the ball for those words lad, well in agreement with ya! "
I’m in Carlow if ya ever need to have a chat about things , no stress brother others said it better  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don’t take it too seriously and it’ll just happen .. I don’t know how to explain it properly but just be patient , your a decent skin and eventually someone will see you and you’ll be what she / they want ..
Hard for ladies on here, they get fuckin bombarded every time their online .. and as Eric Cartman said (not about Fab but bear with me here ), “you’ve gotta wade through a lot of penis’s to find a friend “..
Hope that helps
True indeed man, I think the forums are a good place to break ice for sure based on the interaction and how active they are. Never bothered with them before really. On the ball for those words lad, well in agreement with ya!
I’m in Carlow if ya ever need to have a chat about things , no stress brother others said it better "
You still trying to get a breakfast? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don’t take it too seriously and it’ll just happen .. I don’t know how to explain it properly but just be patient , your a decent skin and eventually someone will see you and you’ll be what she / they want ..
Hard for ladies on here, they get fuckin bombarded every time their online .. and as Eric Cartman said (not about Fab but bear with me here ), “you’ve gotta wade through a lot of penis’s to find a friend “..
Hope that helps
True indeed man, I think the forums are a good place to break ice for sure based on the interaction and how active they are. Never bothered with them before really. On the ball for those words lad, well in agreement with ya!
I’m in Carlow if ya ever need to have a chat about things , no stress brother others said it better
You still trying to get a breakfast? "
You’ve found the real reason I’m on Fab…
“Must also make fried bread “ |
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Most people are not mutually compatible with most other people, irrespective of any non-existent clique. It's needles in haystacks searches for everyone, whatever the gender, etc
If you truly believe you have done your very best to give others what they should see/know of you, then you're doing what you can. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My last meet was unverified and I've met plenty of unverified people over the years. I met them because they were lovely sound genuine nice decent not pushy people who actually talked to me like I'm a person rather than a set of holes. Normal conversation to me is a turn on rather than the usual nice ass can I fuck it messages I normally get.
This
Again This "
oh this again. well said x |
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It is mostly down to volume of messages. Single girls and most couples (if they have male pms on) get a huge amount on PMs. x10 if in Dublin/ cork/ Belfast. The way fab is laid out, means a lot of messages just get buried and even if you reply, you might not even see the message back unless you are a paying supporter as you can only go so far back in messages. It can be overwhelming and as most don't have face, you can almost forget who is who and from where. |
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"So, I've been on here quite some time. At various moments I'm active. Other times not so much so, the same as anyone really sometimes life gets in the way.
I suppose to get to the subject of this; the ratio of men to women on here is obviously stacked favourably towards the lady folk. I find it incredibly hard to even get a conversation started where by you could get to know someone and arrange a social date at the least like.
I wouldn't say by any stretch I'm any ugly cvnt but equally I'm no Brad Pitt like but what is the deal? It seems awfully cliquey, like there are fab people & then there's everyone else who can't get a "text back".
I dunno what else to say but I think it's worth a discussion.
Not intending to in any way come across as having a sense of entitlement and well aware that theres no obligation for anyone to reply like but moreso just curious how does one "join the club" feel like I'm walking up to the door and being told "members only"
I'm a decent enough looking bloke, intelligent, good sense of humour and we'll able to make people laugh, not in anyway hung like a horse or anything (average enough) but a tongue like a jackhammer also
Anyhow, let's discuss this.....(braces himself)"
Not sure how Fabs represents the “LIfestyle” and I don’t know what the swinging scene is like in Ireland though always wondered (my family is from the West). It seems like a quite small scene, and even more limited outside the large centres, so that has to be factored in? Anyway, for a single guy the key is to getting “in” (I.e being known, known as someone who turns up, known as someone who is respectful, known as someone who understands boundaries etc). The next question is: how to be known? Hard. I can only think of going to socials, club nights, and if you are up for it, attending gangbangs. Once you are “known” the invites should hopefully start as connections gets made. Good luck |
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"My last meet was unverified and I've met plenty of unverified people over the years. I met them because they were lovely sound genuine nice decent not pushy people who actually talked to me like I'm a person rather than a set of holes. Normal conversation to me is a turn on rather than the usual nice ass can I fuck it messages I normally get.
You mean women want to be treated like actual human beings?! Heresy!
It really is amazing how many guys forget this. Or know it in the first place, maybe!
Haha I enjoy sarcasm and humour lad. And indeed I concur, it's the few rotten apples that spoil it for the good eggs "
rotten apples won't affect eggs
Also why are you keeping them together...  |
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"My last meet was unverified and I've met plenty of unverified people over the years. I met them because they were lovely sound genuine nice decent not pushy people who actually talked to me like I'm a person rather than a set of holes. Normal conversation to me is a turn on rather than the usual nice ass can I fuck it messages I normally get.
You mean women want to be treated like actual human beings?! Heresy!
It really is amazing how many guys forget this. Or know it in the first place, maybe!
Haha I enjoy sarcasm and humour lad. And indeed I concur, it's the few rotten apples that spoil it for the good eggs rotten apples won't affect eggs
Also why are you keeping them together... "
haha you're right I may rethink the storage of my weekly shop. |
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Dear OP, "What is the deal?"...? You've already answered your own question; it's all about ratios and numbers, plain and simple.
In regards to the "clique", that is a more polarising topic which often prevails on here. However in this case - as in not getting any traction when it comes to conversations and social dates - the issue of clique is not relevant, nor is there any specific "join the club" situation.
If there is a pathway to get noticed then perhaps continue participating in the fora and in the Lounge, attend some Fab-organised socials or clubs, if at all possible. This isn't a panacea but it will help open up any opportunities.
Also, perhaps refine/update your profile. This isn't me critiquing your profile or giving you profile advice, which I'm not allowed to do because you haven't asked for it.
Either way, I wish you success. |
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"Dear OP, "What is the deal?"...? You've already answered your own question; it's all about ratios and numbers, plain and simple.
In regards to the "clique", that is a more polarising topic which often prevails on here. However in this case - as in not getting any traction when it comes to conversations and social dates - the issue of clique is not relevant, nor is there any specific "join the club" situation.
If there is a pathway to get noticed then perhaps continue participating in the fora and in the Lounge, attend some Fab-organised socials or clubs, if at all possible. This isn't a panacea but it will help open up any opportunities.
Also, perhaps refine/update your profile. This isn't me critiquing your profile or giving you profile advice, which I'm not allowed to do because you haven't asked for it.
Either way, I wish you success."
Thanks for your response mate. I suppose the original post was Bourne out of a little bit of frustration but I think I have found by posting on here that people are far more receptive than I thought or had previously experienced.
I appreciate your reply and indeed all the replies.
You're all a sound bunch to be fair! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dear OP, "What is the deal?"...? You've already answered your own question; it's all about ratios and numbers, plain and simple.
In regards to the "clique", that is a more polarising topic which often prevails on here. However in this case - as in not getting any traction when it comes to conversations and social dates - the issue of clique is not relevant, nor is there any specific "join the club" situation.
If there is a pathway to get noticed then perhaps continue participating in the fora and in the Lounge, attend some Fab-organised socials or clubs, if at all possible. This isn't a panacea but it will help open up any opportunities.
Also, perhaps refine/update your profile. This isn't me critiquing your profile or giving you profile advice, which I'm not allowed to do because you haven't asked for it.
Either way, I wish you success.
Thanks for your response mate. I suppose the original post was Bourne out of a little bit of frustration but I think I have found by posting on here that people are far more receptive than I thought or had previously experienced.
I appreciate your reply and indeed all the replies.
You're all a sound bunch to be fair! "
Most are sound here, the challenge is navigating the sea of messers lol |
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"Dear OP, "What is the deal?"...? You've already answered your own question; it's all about ratios and numbers, plain and simple.
In regards to the "clique", that is a more polarising topic which often prevails on here. However in this case - as in not getting any traction when it comes to conversations and social dates - the issue of clique is not relevant, nor is there any specific "join the club" situation.
If there is a pathway to get noticed then perhaps continue participating in the fora and in the Lounge, attend some Fab-organised socials or clubs, if at all possible. This isn't a panacea but it will help open up any opportunities.
Also, perhaps refine/update your profile. This isn't me critiquing your profile or giving you profile advice, which I'm not allowed to do because you haven't asked for it.
Either way, I wish you success.
Thanks for your response mate. I suppose the original post was Bourne out of a little bit of frustration but I think I have found by posting on here that people are far more receptive than I thought or had previously experienced.
I appreciate your reply and indeed all the replies.
You're all a sound bunch to be fair!
Most are sound here, the challenge is navigating the sea of messers lol "
True indeed, patience, respectfulness and perseverance are key I believe. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don't understand the level of commitment single men will put into meeting women via fab, and they won't do an ounce of work through other apps.
Most apps are hookey uppy, why not just go on a date ONS.
Men put all this work into dab, with very little return.. Odd |
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"I don't understand the level of commitment single men will put into meeting women via fab, and they won't do an ounce of work through other apps.
Most apps are hookey uppy, why not just go on a date ONS.
Men put all this work into dab, with very little return.. Odd "
•
Not all men.
Aside from reciprocal messages between friends and forumites on here, I've only sent three messages in the last two years. All of my interactions and meets have been on the back of women sending me the first message. |
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"I don't understand the level of commitment single men will put into meeting women via fab, and they won't do an ounce of work through other apps.
Most apps are hookey uppy, why not just go on a date ONS.
Men put all this work into dab, with very little return.. Odd "
To be honest the other dating apps are just as tricky in my experience.
At least with fab you don't have all this "faux" not interested in ONS stuff you find on the apps.
Also in general there seems to be more of a leaning towards relationships via those apps which leaves you in "just want to have NSA fun" limbo. |
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"Dear OP, "What is the deal?"...? You've already answered your own question; it's all about ratios and numbers, plain and simple.
In regards to the "clique", that is a more polarising topic which often prevails on here. However in this case - as in not getting any traction when it comes to conversations and social dates - the issue of clique is not relevant, nor is there any specific "join the club" situation.
If there is a pathway to get noticed then perhaps continue participating in the fora and in the Lounge, attend some Fab-organised socials or clubs, if at all possible. This isn't a panacea but it will help open up any opportunities.
Also, perhaps refine/update your profile. This isn't me critiquing your profile or giving you profile advice, which I'm not allowed to do because you haven't asked for it.
Either way, I wish you success.
Thanks for your response mate. I suppose the original post was Bourne out of a little bit of frustration but I think I have found by posting on here that people are far more receptive than I thought or had previously experienced.
I appreciate your reply and indeed all the replies.
You're all a sound bunch to be fair! "
Hold that thought bud |
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"I don't understand the level of commitment single men will put into meeting women via fab, and they won't do an ounce of work through other apps.
Most apps are hookey uppy, why not just go on a date ONS.
Men put all this work into dab, with very little return.. Odd "
That's quite the sweeping generalization
I don't send messages at all but I will always reply. Sometimes contact is made through a forum game the chat room or an off-site chat group or two I've been invited to.
Compared to getting a sore thumb swiping while submitting to an algorithm that makes money by keeping in the app, fab is living the dream.
I'm very happy with friends im making, the meets I've had, the parties I'm invited to and the events I've been accepted to attend.
|
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"seem when couple say even say looking for single guy still not reply not that hard to say no thanks."
People have advised you for years about this and you still do the same thing. No reply is no thanks. It's not rude. |
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"seem when couple say even say looking for single guy still not reply not that hard to say no thanks.
That "no reply" was your no thanks. Build a bridge. "
You might want to take your own advice there. you might need one for getting over yourself yourself it seems |
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"seem when couple say even say looking for single guy still not reply not that hard to say no thanks.
People have advised you for years about this and you still do the same thing. No reply is no thanks. It's not rude."
Why is it so hard to accept that some people think it is rude and some people think it isn't? Aren't bought those people right for themselves?
Please don't refer me to the rules because it's not fab's rules that govern what I think is mannerly or not ! |
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I feel like what a lot of women are often at pains to explain is that yes it might feel rude but in context it's impractical or nigh on impossible to reply to everyone.
Not every guy will know this but enough do that they will repeat this refrain to frustrated men when they vent.
Anyone who's been on the forum for more than a week knows it but not everyone is.
So you're not wrong. It might feel rude to not receive a reply if you don't understand the plight of a female member. But it's not rude if you are said female.
And like it or not this is spelled out in the FAQ for the very reason this thread exists. |
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"I feel like what a lot of women are often at pains to explain is that yes it might feel rude but in context it's impractical or nigh on impossible to reply to everyone.
Not every guy will know this but enough do that they will repeat this refrain to frustrated men when they vent.
Anyone who's been on the forum for more than a week knows it but not everyone is.
So you're not wrong. It might feel rude to not receive a reply if you don't understand the plight of a female member. But it's not rude if you are said female.
And like it or not this is spelled out in the FAQ for the very reason this thread exists."
All true ... except for the fact that some choose to reply to all !
The important thing being ,, was it ment to be rude or not by the person who didn't reply ... thats individual and can only be answered by the individual.
So I would think , better of to assume Noone is trying to be rude by not replying unless you factually know different .
That way you are giving everyone the benefit of the doubt and not annoying yourself by assuming the worst 
Thats just my view , however ye are all entitled to see it how you choose. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's a stampede of elephants in this room by the looks...I'm just gonna release the swarm of mosquitoes "
Or mice! That’ll have all the elephants up on the table. |
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"There's a stampede of elephants in this room by the looks...I'm just gonna release the swarm of mosquitoes
You would have a bag a buzzing lil fooks wouldn't ya !
I can be very resourceful "
oh oh ho I've no doubt |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We're not inundated with messages so when we don't reply it'll pretty much be:
The person messaging has very obviously not read our profile
The person messaging has read our profile and very obviously chosen to ignore it
The person messaging has a blank profile
The person messaging has a profile that's as good as blank
We can't be arsed at that particular time
We've taken a quick glance at Fab but haven't had time to reply there and then
The opening message is along the lines of "wanna suck my cock"
It's a meet now message at stupid o'clock
We've already said no thanks in previous messages
The person messaging isn't on the same island
If people think we're rude so be it |
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"seem when couple say even say looking for single guy still not reply not that hard to say no thanks.
That "no reply" was your no thanks. Build a bridge.
You might want to take your own advice there. you might need one for getting over yourself yourself it seems "
You're going to have to explain that strange comment to me. |
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nibble but they don't bite...
...well most, eh... some of them 
