FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Don't call me Babe!!
Don't call me Babe!!
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By *eija OP Woman
over a year ago
City Centre |
Seriously, does anyone else's skin crawl when someone calls you Babe, Hun or luv when they don't know you...
Actually anyone that calls me Babe...is not my type of human
 
Rant over
B x |
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I think what matters more is how these words are said or in what context. Otherwise I don't see the big issue.
I used to work with an older lady from Manchester, she'd always say "hi, ya'alright luv" it was endearing. I would be repeating it to Mrs unintentionally! |
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"Seriously, does anyone else's skin crawl when someone calls you Babe, Hun or luv when they don't know you...
Actually anyone that calls me Babe...is not my type of human
Rant over
B x"
At time's ya. 
Their ton or what form I'm in can have an effect on it aswell.
It's up there along with someone using verbs ,aswell( Not saying verbs should be used,some people can't help themselves). |
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"Seriously, does anyone else's skin crawl when someone calls you Babe, Hun or luv when they don't know you...
Actually anyone that calls me Babe...is not my type of human
Rant over
B x"
I wouldn't come to limerick so because the townies love saying "hi-ya luv" down here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was in my local supervalu today the checkout girl asked how was your day hun she was a teenager, I did reply as I'm a lady.. I am lol .. but I hate pet names |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seriously, does anyone else's skin crawl when someone calls you Babe, Hun or luv when they don't know you...
Actually anyone that calls me Babe...is not my type of human
Rant over
B x"
Yes! Especially when it's someone I don't even know |
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By *eija OP Woman
over a year ago
City Centre |
"I was in my local supervalu today the checkout girl asked how was your day hun she was a teenager, I did reply as I'm a lady.. I am lol .. but I hate pet names "
I actually don't mind being called Hun by people close to me..strangers no..it's the context too..
B x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was in my local supervalu today the checkout girl asked how was your day hun she was a teenager, I did reply as I'm a lady.. I am lol .. but I hate pet names
I actually don't mind being called Hun by people close to me..strangers no..it's the context too..
B x"
Same if I know the person .. not a stranger and she was a teenager I'm old enough to be her Mam |
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Guilty as charged sometimes , I say it though to people im friendly with & like. Cant say id mind some Hunk of a guy calling me Babe in person . But not from guys txting on here & dont know me or havent met , its too pretentious |
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"Not particularly. Around its more boi or lad tho
It's world known that ye call people boi, down there, unless they're living under rock's. 
Limerick would nearly be the same aswell. not its sham and kid in limerick "
I knew a Limerick man & he used to use boi. I'm sure there used aswell.
Sham would be a Galway thing aswell. |
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"Not particularly. Around its more boi or lad tho
It's world known that ye call people boi, down there, unless they're living under rock's.
Limerick would nearly be the same aswell. not its sham and kid in limerick
I knew a Limerick man & he used to use boi. I'm sure there used aswell.
Sham would be a Galway thing aswell. "
he must have been a blow in or maybe form the cork border |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not particularly. Around its more boi or lad tho
It's world known that ye call people boi, down there, unless they're living under rock's.
Limerick would nearly be the same aswell. "
So it’s boy even if you’re under rocks come out here boy |
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"Not particularly. Around its more boi or lad tho
It's world known that ye call people boi, down there, unless they're living under rock's.
Limerick would nearly be the same aswell. not its sham and kid in limerick
I knew a Limerick man & he used to use boi. I'm sure there used aswell.
Sham would be a Galway thing aswell. he must have been a blow in or maybe form the cork border "
South of the City alright. Nearer to the city than the Cork border, at the same time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not particularly. Around its more boi or lad tho
It's world known that ye call people boi, down there, unless they're living under rock's.
Limerick would nearly be the same aswell. not its sham and kid in limerick
I knew a Limerick man & he used to use boi. I'm sure there used aswell.
Sham would be a Galway thing aswell. he must have been a blow in or maybe form the cork border
South of the City alright. Nearer to the city than the Cork border, at the same time. "
See some people think it’s boi it’s not it’s a simple boy not meant in anyway to offend
Same as when someone says go way ya langer
If someone from cork says your some langer it doesn’t mean that they dislike you |
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"Not particularly. Around its more boi or lad tho
It's world known that ye call people boi, down there, unless they're living under rock's.
Limerick would nearly be the same aswell. not its sham and kid in limerick
I knew a Limerick man & he used to use boi. I'm sure there used aswell.
Sham would be a Galway thing aswell. he must have been a blow in or maybe form the cork border
South of the City alright. Nearer to the city than the Cork border, at the same time.
See some people think it’s boi it’s not it’s a simple boy not meant in anyway to offend
Same as when someone says go way ya langer
If someone from cork says your some langer it doesn’t mean that they dislike you "
Personally I wondered what was the right way to spell it, alright.
Personally I've never been called that face to face, not yet anyway's. I always knew that alright. |
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"Seriously, does anyone else's skin crawl when someone calls you Babe, Hun or luv when they don't know you...
Actually anyone that calls me Babe...is not my type of human
Rant over
B x"
Chill out babe...
Sure ya know your self love ...
There only being friendly hun . |
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"Seriously, does anyone else's skin crawl when someone calls you Babe, Hun or luv when they don't know you...
Actually anyone that calls me Babe...is not my type of human
Rant over
B x"
I feel your pain...fecking hate that too |
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"Seriously, does anyone else's skin crawl when someone calls you Babe, Hun or luv when they don't know you...
Actually anyone that calls me Babe...is not my type of human
Rant over
B x"
Yes hate it too..! Although being male don’t happen as much.. hate hate hate being called hun.!
If I’m in a relationship then I’d call herself babe a bit but don’t be going ott on the pet names |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What is the best way to address you? I always use name she put on profile but if there is not I just simple call lady or ma'am if woman is much older then me. Is that correct to address?  |
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Unfortunately due to where I grew up in London, my automatic response to women is mostly ‘darling’, ‘babe’ or others. I don’t say it to belittle a female it’s more of an endearment or a friendly response. I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea but I can’t help myself.
Sorry babe  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Babe, Darlin, Hun, Mate,Geezer, Fellah ! I’ve been called a lot worse in my time. Lol I think it’s just that people get into a habit of using some of those as ways of greeting people. Personally I prefer my first name if some knows me and always say Hi , I’m G**** when I meet someone new |
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By *yesgreenMan
over a year ago
north and south |
"Seriously, does anyone else's skin crawl when someone calls you Babe, Hun or luv when they don't know you...
Actually anyone that calls me Babe...is not my type of human
Rant over
B x"
 What do you like to be called first thing in the morning sexy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think its tottally disrespectful to call anyone u don't know babe hun etc
When u haven't even seen or met them
Some might like it
But me if I was chatting to someone who refrain for referring to them as one of thoose pet names
Just me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So what’s the alternative..hello there, you, gorgeous, ugly,bitch,cunt..!! It’s only a word In the absence of a name but in my experience most who don’t like or feel a word is inappropriate use that nonsense to belittle the person.!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So what’s the alternative..hello there, you, gorgeous, ugly,bitch,cunt..!! It’s only a word In the absence of a name but in my experience most who don’t like or feel a word is inappropriate use that nonsense to belittle the person.!!"
Hello or hi would be sufficient, no? |
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By *eija OP Woman
over a year ago
City Centre |
"So what’s the alternative..hello there, you, gorgeous, ugly,bitch,cunt..!! It’s only a word In the absence of a name but in my experience most who don’t like or feel a word is inappropriate use that nonsense to belittle the person.!!
Hello or hi would be sufficient, no?"
Exactly |
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"Hey I don't know you and this is crazy you can't have my number so don't call me baby sing it with me now
Now I can't stop singing that "
Literally was listening to the song while posting my version light bulb moment right there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So what’s the alternative..hello there, you, gorgeous, ugly,bitch,cunt..!! It’s only a word In the absence of a name but in my experience most who don’t like or feel a word is inappropriate use that nonsense to belittle the person.!!
Hello or hi would be sufficient, no?"
it would for sum but the same people will crucify you no matter!!! |
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I actually like to be called babe, does the ego some good.
I wouldn't use it to open a líne of communication in person or on Fab with someone though. A lot can be inferred from someone's time as well I suppose.
Ah well as she says OP wasn't too bothered. But it was interesting to read people's thoughts. |
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"A Woman at work repeatedly says Hi darling , im like wtf it’s not even a word that slips easily off the tongue
I think she’s possibly being a condescending bitch though
"
Just reply every time with " alright petal " |
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"Think its tottally disrespectful to call anyone u don't know babe hun etc
When u haven't even seen or met them
Some might like it
But me if I was chatting to someone who refrain for referring to them as one of thoose pet names
Just me "
For you to think it's totally disrespectful it means that you are assuming the person means it disrespectfully.
It can only be deemed "meant as disrespectful" by the person who said.
If you feel disrespected when somebody says it it's because you are assuming they are being disrespectful without clarifying that with them. As you can see from most posts here they are an actual effect being endearing.
Does it change things to view it from the point of view that anyone who says that to you ,actually is trying to be friendly or endearing towards you rather than disrespectful? |
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"So what’s the alternative..hello there, you, gorgeous, ugly,bitch,cunt..!! It’s only a word In the absence of a name but in my experience most who don’t like or feel a word is inappropriate use that nonsense to belittle the person.!!
Hello or hi would be sufficient, no?"
Clearly some people like to express more endearment in their greetings ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Think its tottally disrespectful to call anyone u don't know babe hun etc
When u haven't even seen or met them
Some might like it
But me if I was chatting to someone who refrain for referring to them as one of thoose pet names
Just me
For you to think it's totally disrespectful it means that you are assuming the person means it disrespectfully.
It can only be deemed "meant as disrespectful" by the person who said.
If you feel disrespected when somebody says it it's because you are assuming they are being disrespectful without clarifying that with them. As you can see from most posts here they are an actual effect being endearing.
Does it change things to view it from the point of view that anyone who says that to you ,actually is trying to be friendly or endearing towards you rather than disrespectful?"
Could the same not be said of someone putting an arm round you to talk to you or placing their hand on your knee while chatting? Perhaps they're only being friendly but that's irrelevant if it's unwanted. Winking, wolf-whistling, being leery. It goes on and on.
In every single piece of training I've done in management, mentoring & safeguarding it is absolutely about how the action is received, not how it was intended. If we continue to make the excuse "oh but they didn't mean any harm by it, they're just being friendly" it leaves us in a society where it's still OK to cop a feel of a work colleague, to call someone by a nickname that belittles them, to cat-call someone in the street.
It literally takes a split second to check your behaviour and ask yourself "might this be unwanted?"
Someone thinking their behaviour is friendly and endearing is not an acceptable excuse
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I know in Belfast “luv” is added to a hell of a lot of the population. I don’t use it myself, but it’s force of habit up here. Not so much in the south. It’s a bit chavvy. No offence to its users. Do t attack me |
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"Think its tottally disrespectful to call anyone u don't know babe hun etc
When u haven't even seen or met them
Some might like it
But me if I was chatting to someone who refrain for referring to them as one of thoose pet names
Just me
For you to think it's totally disrespectful it means that you are assuming the person means it disrespectfully.
It can only be deemed "meant as disrespectful" by the person who said.
If you feel disrespected when somebody says it it's because you are assuming they are being disrespectful without clarifying that with them. As you can see from most posts here they are an actual effect being endearing.
Does it change things to view it from the point of view that anyone who says that to you ,actually is trying to be friendly or endearing towards you rather than disrespectful?
Could the same not be said of someone putting an arm round you to talk to you or placing their hand on your knee while chatting? Perhaps they're only being friendly but that's irrelevant if it's unwanted. Winking, wolf-whistling, being leery. It goes on and on.
In every single piece of training I've done in management, mentoring & safeguarding it is absolutely about how the action is received, not how it was intended. If we continue to make the excuse "oh but they didn't mean any harm by it, they're just being friendly" it leaves us in a society where it's still OK to cop a feel of a work colleague, to call someone by a nickname that belittles them, to cat-call someone in the street.
It literally takes a split second to check your behaviour and ask yourself "might this be unwanted?"
Someone thinking their behaviour is friendly and endearing is not an acceptable excuse
"
The same couldn't be said for physical contact. that isn't like-for-like at all. However you given your money's been positioned are well aware of this.
To be noted too ,this isn't in reference to workplace scenarios it's in reference to everyday life chats.
I could perceive you as an argumentative for the sake of being argumentative on here from my perception and assumptions of the meaning behind your interactions and comments. Am I right ? Or in actual fact am I assuming the meaning behind your words and making wrong assumptions based on my own feelings ? |
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"Think its tottally disrespectful to call anyone u don't know babe hun etc
When u haven't even seen or met them
Some might like it
But me if I was chatting to someone who refrain for referring to them as one of thoose pet names
Just me
For you to think it's totally disrespectful it means that you are assuming the person means it disrespectfully.
It can only be deemed "meant as disrespectful" by the person who said.
If you feel disrespected when somebody says it it's because you are assuming they are being disrespectful without clarifying that with them. As you can see from most posts here they are an actual effect being endearing.
Does it change things to view it from the point of view that anyone who says that to you ,actually is trying to be friendly or endearing towards you rather than disrespectful?
Could the same not be said of someone putting an arm round you to talk to you or placing their hand on your knee while chatting? Perhaps they're only being friendly but that's irrelevant if it's unwanted. Winking, wolf-whistling, being leery. It goes on and on.
In every single piece of training I've done in management, mentoring & safeguarding it is absolutely about how the action is received, not how it was intended. If we continue to make the excuse "oh but they didn't mean any harm by it, they're just being friendly" it leaves us in a society where it's still OK to cop a feel of a work colleague, to call someone by a nickname that belittles them, to cat-call someone in the street.
It literally takes a split second to check your behaviour and ask yourself "might this be unwanted?"
Someone thinking their behaviour is friendly and endearing is not an acceptable excuse
"
What's also important to note is your use of the words unwanted.
If someone uses an endearing term to greet you they cannot know its unwanted unless you have stays at it beforehand and in which case it would not longer be considered endearment, rather agitation.
What you may be referring to is PC culture! This is where you cannot say anything that comes naturally to you if there is even the slightest doubt it may be misinterpreted by others.
Frankly that's not a world I want to live in and thankfully it seems globally it's not a world that people want to live in either.
Management and work scenarios are completely different world because everybody is covering their own a**. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think its tottally disrespectful to call anyone u don't know babe hun etc
When u haven't even seen or met them
Some might like it
But me if I was chatting to someone who refrain for referring to them as one of thoose pet names
Just me
For you to think it's totally disrespectful it means that you are assuming the person means it disrespectfully.
It can only be deemed "meant as disrespectful" by the person who said.
If you feel disrespected when somebody says it it's because you are assuming they are being disrespectful without clarifying that with them. As you can see from most posts here they are an actual effect being endearing.
Does it change things to view it from the point of view that anyone who says that to you ,actually is trying to be friendly or endearing towards you rather than disrespectful?
Could the same not be said of someone putting an arm round you to talk to you or placing their hand on your knee while chatting? Perhaps they're only being friendly but that's irrelevant if it's unwanted. Winking, wolf-whistling, being leery. It goes on and on.
In every single piece of training I've done in management, mentoring & safeguarding it is absolutely about how the action is received, not how it was intended. If we continue to make the excuse "oh but they didn't mean any harm by it, they're just being friendly" it leaves us in a society where it's still OK to cop a feel of a work colleague, to call someone by a nickname that belittles them, to cat-call someone in the street.
It literally takes a split second to check your behaviour and ask yourself "might this be unwanted?"
Someone thinking their behaviour is friendly and endearing is not an acceptable excuse
The same couldn't be said for physical contact. that isn't like-for-like at all. However you given your money's been positioned are well aware of this.
To be noted too ,this isn't in reference to workplace scenarios it's in reference to everyday life chats.
I could perceive you as an argumentative for the sake of being argumentative on here from my perception and assumptions of the meaning behind your interactions and comments. Am I right ? Or in actual fact am I assuming the meaning behind your words and making wrong assumptions based on my own feelings ? "
Not just workplace situations. I've trained and mentored in all sorts of areas and in various roles both voluntary and in employment - preschool, schools, clubs, sports - from I was 17. I'm still a safeguarding officer today in a voluntary capacity.
And although you chose to highlight the unwanted physical contact, I did mention others that weren't physical. Unwanted verbal interactions can be just as distressing even when the person "was just being friendly and endearing". |
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"Think its tottally disrespectful to call anyone u don't know babe hun etc
When u haven't even seen or met them
Some might like it
But me if I was chatting to someone who refrain for referring to them as one of thoose pet names
Just me
For you to think it's totally disrespectful it means that you are assuming the person means it disrespectfully.
It can only be deemed "meant as disrespectful" by the person who said.
If you feel disrespected when somebody says it it's because you are assuming they are being disrespectful without clarifying that with them. As you can see from most posts here they are an actual effect being endearing.
Does it change things to view it from the point of view that anyone who says that to you ,actually is trying to be friendly or endearing towards you rather than disrespectful?
Could the same not be said of someone putting an arm round you to talk to you or placing their hand on your knee while chatting? Perhaps they're only being friendly but that's irrelevant if it's unwanted. Winking, wolf-whistling, being leery. It goes on and on.
In every single piece of training I've done in management, mentoring & safeguarding it is absolutely about how the action is received, not how it was intended. If we continue to make the excuse "oh but they didn't mean any harm by it, they're just being friendly" it leaves us in a society where it's still OK to cop a feel of a work colleague, to call someone by a nickname that belittles them, to cat-call someone in the street.
It literally takes a split second to check your behaviour and ask yourself "might this be unwanted?"
Someone thinking their behaviour is friendly and endearing is not an acceptable excuse
The same couldn't be said for physical contact. that isn't like-for-like at all. However you given your money's been positioned are well aware of this.
To be noted too ,this isn't in reference to workplace scenarios it's in reference to everyday life chats.
I could perceive you as an argumentative for the sake of being argumentative on here from my perception and assumptions of the meaning behind your interactions and comments. Am I right ? Or in actual fact am I assuming the meaning behind your words and making wrong assumptions based on my own feelings ?
Not just workplace situations. I've trained and mentored in all sorts of areas and in various roles both voluntary and in employment - preschool, schools, clubs, sports - from I was 17. I'm still a safeguarding officer today in a voluntary capacity.
And although you chose to highlight the unwanted physical contact, I did mention others that weren't physical. Unwanted verbal interactions can be just as distressing even when the person "was just being friendly and endearing". "
As you can read above . I highlighted your use of the word unwanted!
I also gave you a real life example of how interpretation of one's meaning without clarification lends itself to misinterpretation on the part of the interpreter!!!! ( which you've not taken up)
The key being . Is someone wrong for using an endering term because it is unknowingly unwanted or incorrectly interpreted?  |
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I've had a work related situation recently where a new member of staff repeatedly called the woman she was replacing "babes" during her first couple of training days.
They are both mid 50s and when she was told by the other woman that she despised the term and to please not use it she said she had never been pulled up on it before.
That was a few months ago but ever since she has used it numerous times when chatting to a younger woman and tries to pass it off as a joke now.
The 19 year old says she has no issue with it because all her friends use the word but I've asked her not to joke about it as she is belittling the feelings of the woman who was offended even though she is no longer there.
It's not a term I've ever used and never really passed any remarks on people using it until that happened. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You didn't answer ... you just listed your credentials.
I didn't ask you for examples , only to address the points raised instead of avoiding them . Its ok not if thats what you want to do . "
You've chosen not to see where I've already answered you. But it's ok if that's not what you want to do |
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"You didn't answer ... you just listed your credentials.
I didn't ask you for examples , only to address the points raised instead of avoiding them . Its ok not if thats what you want to do .
You've chosen not to see where I've already answered you. But it's ok if that's not what you want to do "
Interesting that thats how you seem to actually see it ! Speaks volumes.  |
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