FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Dating advice needed
Dating advice needed
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If ye saw my post about my date, ye'll know the jist.
If not,
Basically, I went on a date Saturday, met in Kildare, went for a walk and then for a bite to eat. Date lasted the bones of about 3 hours.
Later that night I sent her a message saying I had a great time and would like to do it again, she replied saying yeah it was lovely and definitely (with a blushing smiley face) and I haven't heard from her since. I sent her a message yesterday asking about her day and no reply yet.
I'm not going to message her again cause I reckon I'll come across crazy but how long should I hold onto hope that there might be a chance of a 2nd date? |
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Could be busy with work/life midweek.
If it was me (male here) I'd pop a message on Friday asking how she is and any plans for the weekend. If she says she has plans, wish her an enjoyable weekend and say you might catch up next week and see what she says.
If she says no, ask her if she fancies doing something. If she says yes, great. If she says no, I'd just give up at that point. |
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By *am74Man
over a year ago
inbetween north west ,sligo ,galway |
Society would dictate a standard 3 days after the first date. That allows for both parties to screw up the conversation so many times in their heads that by the third day a decent response comes out naturally. I also will send the 'I had fun, did you get home safe, etc' texts. |
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"Could be busy with work/life midweek.
If it was me (male here) I'd pop a message on Friday asking how she is and any plans for the weekend. If she says she has plans, wish her an enjoyable weekend and say you might catch up next week and see what she says.
If she says no, ask her if she fancies doing something. If she says yes, great. If she says no, I'd just give up at that point. "
I would but I'm working this weekend unfortunately hahah but i get where you're coming from |
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"Society would dictate a standard 3 days after the first date. That allows for both parties to screw up the conversation so many times in their heads that by the third day a decent response comes out naturally. I also will send the 'I had fun, did you get home safe, etc' texts."
Yeah, we did that, that's when I said it. But because we would message every day evem before the date, I didn't think waiting 3 days would be a good idea |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would leave it for now. If she's interested she knows where you are."
Female of the couple here. Completely agree with this. The ball is in her court now.
No offence meant to previous posters but the idea that there’s set rules or timelines when it comes to communicating is nonsense. If you contacting her before some arbitrary holding period is over affects her opinion of you then she didn’t like you in the first place and/or she’s a gobshite. As long as you’re respectful, sane and not pushy then it shouldn’t matter how soon you contacted her. |
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"She's just not that into you
Next!!"
.......................
Harsh ..... but most likely the truth.
Not everyone comes across as well face to face as they might in online chats.
Conversation skills, dress sense, manners, mannerisms, accent, personal grooming, flirting skills, etc. are all subjective and may or may not add to the other persons initial online attraction.
"Every failure is a step closer to success".
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"I would leave it for now. If she's interested she knows where you are.
Female of the couple here. Completely agree with this. The ball is in her court now.
No offence meant to previous posters but the idea that there’s set rules or timelines when it comes to communicating is nonsense. If you contacting her before some arbitrary holding period is over affects her opinion of you then she didn’t like you in the first place and/or she’s a gobshite. As long as you’re respectful, sane and not pushy then it shouldn’t matter how soon you contacted her. "
 There's not much I hate more than unclear communication and teenage games of timelines and who's contacting who first! You're both adults and can each make decisions for yourselves and communicate those respectively, respectfully.
As for other comments with regards to her not being into you after all - considering the sudden lull in communication - that may be true but she may also have personal issues she needs to deal with surrounding dating...after one date you won't know the half of what goes on in her life and mind...
Personally, I'd follow up on the unresponded text to seek clarification, politely. That's just me - you'll know from her response or lack of, where you stand...best of luck  |
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Don’t die wondering OP
Your best bet is to go to her house in the early hours of the morning, politely knock the door and ask her how she feels
Have your headlights on full beam facing the door so she can’t see you and can only hear your voice, it’ll be be extremely romantic |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
Op....you took my advice the last time
Go to her house, stand outside with a ghetto blaster above your head playing Peter Gabriel singing "In your eyes" on a high volume.....what could possibly go wrong |
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"Op....you took my advice the last time
Go to her house, stand outside with a ghetto blaster above your head playing Peter Gabriel singing "In your eyes" on a high volume.....what could possibly go wrong "
Glad we all agree that he should visit her house |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don’t die wondering OP
Your best bet is to go to her house in the early hours of the morning, politely knock the door and ask her how she feels
Have your headlights on full beam facing the door so she can’t see you and can only hear your voice, it’ll be be extremely romantic"
Have a few G&T’s beforehand too for added confidence  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You messaged her to quickly.always leave it a day or two.
We messaged like every day for the last couple of weeks before the date"
Don't listen to him. If she was interested she would have messaged. I would move on as sounds to me that you were more an option for her then anything.
Bit harsh I know, but it's the truth.
Misses |
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"Send her a dick picture to reignite the spark. "
If she's not into then you have nothing to lose by texting her again in a couple of days. If she is into you she might appreciate you following up.
She's not going to write you off for sending a few texts if, as said above, you are sane and polite. |
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Thanks for all the advice...
I reckon I'm gonna go with showing up at her door completely d*unk and maybe ask her to marry me #yolo hahahaha
I'd say a good few of ye are right, if she was interested she would have replied or sent a quick message, well at least I took the 1st step and got back out there.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Man, if she's playing games, you're best out of it.
It could be anything; she might have stuff going on, she might be washing her hair, or she's just a bit of a twat.
Never mind all that "you should text on a certain day" shite... You're both adults. If she isn't responding, NEXT! |
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"I would leave it for now. If she's interested she knows where you are.
Female of the couple here. Completely agree with this. The ball is in her court now.
No offence meant to previous posters but the idea that there’s set rules or timelines when it comes to communicating is nonsense. If you contacting her before some arbitrary holding period is over affects her opinion of you then she didn’t like you in the first place and/or she’s a gobshite. As long as you’re respectful, sane and not pushy then it shouldn’t matter how soon you contacted her.
There's not much I hate more than unclear communication and teenage games of timelines and who's contacting who first! You're both adults and can each make decisions for yourselves and communicate those respectively, respectfully.
As for other comments with regards to her not being into you after all - considering the sudden lull in communication - that may be true but she may also have personal issues she needs to deal with surrounding dating...after one date you won't know the half of what goes on in her life and mind...
Personally, I'd follow up on the unresponded text to seek clarification, politely. That's just me - you'll know from her response or lack of, where you stand...best of luck "
I agree .
Some of the above answers are perfectly acceptable if you're both 16. However as adults it is perfectly acceptable for you to send another message politely Confirming the situation and leaving the ball in her court. You might say something like, I know you may be busy don't want to be pestering you I leave it for you to get back to me,.... Or something like that |
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"Op....you took my advice the last time
Go to her house, stand outside with a ghetto blaster above your head playing Peter Gabriel singing "In your eyes" on a high volume.....what could possibly go wrong
Glad we all agree that he should visit her house"
We should all visit her house together... for moral support like |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would leave it for now. If she's interested she knows where you are."
Good advice and if I remember correctly you did say she has a child be patient all good things come to those who wait |
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By *3nsesMan
over a year ago
Dublin |
"Send her a dick picture to reignite the spark.
Stupid advice"
Tbf it was still better than your "wait 3 days so you don't cone across as eager" i thought people grew out of that approach once they reached 17? |
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Nothing yet anyway...
I might give her another message tomorrow maybe. Something might have happened and she just completely forgot, I can understand that does happen.
What I don't get is as an adult, if someone isn't interested I don't see why not say something like we're looking for different things or not compatible or whatever but the whole ghosting thing is childish I think. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nothing yet anyway...
I might give her another message tomorrow maybe. Something might have happened and she just completely forgot, I can understand that does happen.
What I don't get is as an adult, if someone isn't interested I don't see why not say something like we're looking for different things or not compatible or whatever but the whole ghosting thing is childish I think."
Some people (more than you'd imagine) are really uncomfortable with saying things like that, and they see it as more convenient to just ignore someone.
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"Nothing yet anyway...
I might give her another message tomorrow maybe. Something might have happened and she just completely forgot, I can understand that does happen.
What I don't get is as an adult, if someone isn't interested I don't see why not say something like we're looking for different things or not compatible or whatever but the whole ghosting thing is childish I think."
Its a social media kinda cultural thing . People think noting of not replying anymore.... weather its work , family etc .. can't wait till this time next year ... my God will we all have a different view  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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She was probably at a loose end that day fancied some company and you were convenient, she doesn't owe you anything so don't be surprised if you never heard from her again, chalk it down to experience and find another 1 |
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"Nothing yet anyway...
I might give her another message tomorrow maybe. Something might have happened and she just completely forgot, I can understand that does happen.
What I don't get is as an adult, if someone isn't interested I don't see why not say something like we're looking for different things or not compatible or whatever but the whole ghosting thing is childish I think.
Its a social media kinda cultural thing . People think noting of not replying anymore.... weather its work , family etc .. can't wait till this time next year ... my God will we all have a different view "
Why will we all have a different view? |
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"Nothing yet anyway...
I might give her another message tomorrow maybe. Something might have happened and she just completely forgot, I can understand that does happen.
What I don't get is as an adult, if someone isn't interested I don't see why not say something like we're looking for different things or not compatible or whatever but the whole ghosting thing is childish I think.
Its a social media kinda cultural thing . People think noting of not replying anymore.... weather its work , family etc .. can't wait till this time next year ... my God will we all have a different view
Why will we all have a different view?"
Watch the skies ... and the congress |
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"Nothing yet anyway...
I might give her another message tomorrow maybe. Something might have happened and she just completely forgot, I can understand that does happen.
What I don't get is as an adult, if someone isn't interested I don't see why not say something like we're looking for different things or not compatible or whatever but the whole ghosting thing is childish I think.
Its a social media kinda cultural thing . People think noting of not replying anymore.... weather its work , family etc .. can't wait till this time next year ... my God will we all have a different view
Why will we all have a different view?
Watch the skies ... and the congress "
I watch the skies for weather but I'm still none the wiser with what you mean |
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"Nothing yet anyway...
I might give her another message tomorrow maybe. Something might have happened and she just completely forgot, I can understand that does happen.
What I don't get is as an adult, if someone isn't interested I don't see why not say something like we're looking for different things or not compatible or whatever but the whole ghosting thing is childish I think.
Its a social media kinda cultural thing . People think noting of not replying anymore.... weather its work , family etc .. can't wait till this time next year ... my God will we all have a different view
Why will we all have a different view?
Watch the skies ... and the congress
I watch the skies for weather but I'm still none the wiser with what you mean "
I'm with you in that, I'm confused myself |
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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago
Newry Down |
There are so many unspoken rules but the key features are Not to appear to be:
Desperate
Needy
Creepy
In a hurry, etc., etc.
If she is not pressurised, you might be surprised; if not then learn, and move on. |
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