FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Catfished, has it happened to you..
Catfished, has it happened to you..
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Hi here to tell a story about me ..just after Christmas I got chatting with a lady from another platform chatting back and forth as it goes nothing heavy small talk,then work went mental for me for a week emergency flooding to deal with, save peoples homes, which we did ,but in the meantime still chatting with said lady.
Things went back to normal for so I decided to ask I call here pam out of a drink and a chat, ye OK she said by this time where chatting on the phone, plans put in place but a day before meeting up nothing...set time came and went nothing, 2 days later massage sorry something came up..I said yea OK.. put I could see a pattern forming, by this time were well in to February, I have a child who with me every second weekend, the weekend I have my kid all talk chatting mad..but the weekend I am free nothing from Thursday night to Monday morning, tried to set up to meet a few more times same thing..,but had enough of it was set to meet up last Saturday night, I was away in meath Saturday at a tournament was meeting on the way home, got a message to say best of luck, which was nice, that was it for the rest of the day in sent photos from the day massage, called when I was leaving, but nothing, I said to myself I be drinking alone again tonight,and I was,got home sent a message what the plan, o my friend died I am at the funeral have few drinks not going to happen..massage in the morning asking what game is she playing..as to say she was not happy with me calling her out on her behaviour..so there you go that it 3 months chatting not to show for it... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry to hear that happened for you. I've had it done to me before and it's not one but nice at all.
Thankfully, it wasn't anything serious, but it left a very sour taste. |
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Catfishing isn’t right but it happens, remember exchanging vids with a woman who had American sockets on the wall and a humongous California state flag in the background, who still swore blind it was her
Huge bit of naivety on the OPs part, strung along for 3 months after numerous no shows, ye’ve to take a bit of responsibility for your own part on this |
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By *ombikerMan
over a year ago
the right side of the river |
We probably all have had the meet arranged. Chatting away right up until meet time and then now show and no replies.
Or a “couple” arrange a meet with you but some guy appears and says oh the other half couldn’t make it. But a lot wiser now, when there is no pics or no phone contact from the lady friend you know they don’t exist. |
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When there's a sudden silence or disappearance before a confirmed arrangement, I'd be highly suspicious.
And if the excuse afterwards isn't an emergency (a hangover or your hamster dying doesn't count!), I'd be highly unlikely to keep contact, never mind rearranging another social/meet.
I'm generally the kind of person to give someone the benefit of the doubt but my time is too precious for Fab games.
It's never happened to me when a time, date and location has been arranged so either I've been lucky or have good instincts on fakes and flakes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s what makes fab a complete minefield at times. So many women (genuine or otherwise) point-blank refuse to send a face pic, but will demand one before you even contact them.
It makes it that bit harder to establish who’s real and who’s spoofing. Especially given how easy it is to be “verified” on fab. The obsession with kik is another pain in the hole, as if it’s the only app on the planet to verify while also remaining anonymous.
Then there’s the inevitable hissy fit when you ask them to provide further evidence they are who they say they are… (if you’re real you’d take it as a f**king compliment that I think that you’re too good to be true!)
With all that said, the red flags are usually easy to spot from the start. |
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"Hi here to tell a story about me ..just after Christmas I got chatting with a lady from another platform chatting back and forth as it goes nothing heavy small talk,then work went mental for me for a week emergency flooding to deal with, save peoples homes, which we did ,but in the meantime still chatting with said lady.
Things went back to normal for so I decided to ask I call here pam out of a drink and a chat, ye OK she said by this time where chatting on the phone, plans put in place but a day before meeting up nothing...set time came and went nothing, 2 days later massage sorry something came up..I said yea OK.. put I could see a pattern forming, by this time were well in to February, I have a child who with me every second weekend, the weekend I have my kid all talk chatting mad..but the weekend I am free nothing from Thursday night to Monday morning, tried to set up to meet a few more times same thing..,but had enough of it was set to meet up last Saturday night, I was away in meath Saturday at a tournament was meeting on the way home, got a message to say best of luck, which was nice, that was it for the rest of the day in sent photos from the day massage, called when I was leaving, but nothing, I said to myself I be drinking alone again tonight,and I was,got home sent a message what the plan, o my friend died I am at the funeral have few drinks not going to happen..massage in the morning asking what game is she playing..as to say she was not happy with me calling her out on her behaviour..so there you go that it 3 months chatting not to show for it..."
I'm having Déjà vu, anyone else ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And sometimes it's not catfishing it's just tome wasters enjoying messing ya about.
My rule is is 2 chances to meet, have given guys the benefit of doubt but last guy got 3 chances, I had done the travelling etc and between the flu,emergency dental apt and too tired to drive 40 mins to meet me, I called it a day.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never had a no show yet.
I have little free time and if a meet is arranged and things go quiet, I message to see if things are ok. If no reply, I cancel it.
If he has a genuine sounding excuse and wants to rearrange, thats fine.
If things go quiet days before the meet, I block him!
2 strikes and you're out....no mercy!
 |
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"Hi here to tell a story about me ..just after Christmas I got chatting with a lady from another platform chatting back and forth as it goes nothing heavy small talk,then work went mental for me for a week emergency flooding to deal with, save peoples homes, which we did ,but in the meantime still chatting with said lady.
Things went back to normal for so I decided to ask I call here pam out of a drink and a chat, ye OK she said by this time where chatting on the phone, plans put in place but a day before meeting up nothing...set time came and went nothing, 2 days later massage sorry something came up..I said yea OK.. put I could see a pattern forming, by this time were well in to February, I have a child who with me every second weekend, the weekend I have my kid all talk chatting mad..but the weekend I am free nothing from Thursday night to Monday morning, tried to set up to meet a few more times same thing..,but had enough of it was set to meet up last Saturday night, I was away in meath Saturday at a tournament was meeting on the way home, got a message to say best of luck, which was nice, that was it for the rest of the day in sent photos from the day massage, called when I was leaving, but nothing, I said to myself I be drinking alone again tonight,and I was,got home sent a message what the plan, o my friend died I am at the funeral have few drinks not going to happen..massage in the morning asking what game is she playing..as to say she was not happy with me calling her out on her behaviour..so there you go that it 3 months chatting not to show for it..."
prob dude messaging ye lol |
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"Hi here to tell a story about me ..just after Christmas I got chatting with a lady from another platform chatting back and forth as it goes nothing heavy small talk,then work went mental for me for a week emergency flooding to deal with, save peoples homes, which we did ,but in the meantime still chatting with said lady.
Things went back to normal for so I decided to ask I call here pam out of a drink and a chat, ye OK she said by this time where chatting on the phone, plans put in place but a day before meeting up nothing...set time came and went nothing, 2 days later massage sorry something came up..I said yea OK.. put I could see a pattern forming, by this time were well in to February, I have a child who with me every second weekend, the weekend I have my kid all talk chatting mad..but the weekend I am free nothing from Thursday night to Monday morning, tried to set up to meet a few more times same thing..,but had enough of it was set to meet up last Saturday night, I was away in meath Saturday at a tournament was meeting on the way home, got a message to say best of luck, which was nice, that was it for the rest of the day in sent photos from the day massage, called when I was leaving, but nothing, I said to myself I be drinking alone again tonight,and I was,got home sent a message what the plan, o my friend died I am at the funeral have few drinks not going to happen..massage in the morning asking what game is she playing..as to say she was not happy with me calling her out on her behaviour..so there you go that it 3 months chatting not to show for it... prob dude messaging ye lol "
no it was a lady ,we chatted on the phone a lot , |
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I've had this happen twice with two ladies. Both cancelled at last minute and then cancelled again at last minute after rearranging to meet again. This was never done by phone text. It was through KIK or fab messages. Got blocked as soon as meetings were cancelled second time. I think the best way forward is to arrange by phone or by WhatsApp. No chat prior to meet, then no meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi here to tell a story about me ..just after Christmas I got chatting with a lady from another platform chatting back and forth as it goes nothing heavy small talk,then work went mental for me for a week emergency flooding to deal with, save peoples homes, which we did ,but in the meantime still chatting with said lady.
Things went back to normal for so I decided to ask I call here pam out of a drink and a chat, ye OK she said by this time where chatting on the phone, plans put in place but a day before meeting up nothing...set time came and went nothing, 2 days later massage sorry something came up..I said yea OK.. put I could see a pattern forming, by this time were well in to February, I have a child who with me every second weekend, the weekend I have my kid all talk chatting mad..but the weekend I am free nothing from Thursday night to Monday morning, tried to set up to meet a few more times same thing..,but had enough of it was set to meet up last Saturday night, I was away in meath Saturday at a tournament was meeting on the way home, got a message to say best of luck, which was nice, that was it for the rest of the day in sent photos from the day massage, called when I was leaving, but nothing, I said to myself I be drinking alone again tonight,and I was,got home sent a message what the plan, o my friend died I am at the funeral have few drinks not going to happen..massage in the morning asking what game is she playing..as to say she was not happy with me calling her out on her behaviour..so there you go that it 3 months chatting not to show for it..."
3 months ???? ..a week is plenty , if no interest shown or expressed in meeting after a week then its a polite goodbye , a typical Timewaster. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Never had a no show yet.
I have little free time and if a meet is arranged and things go quiet, I message to see if things are ok. If no reply, I cancel it.
If he has a genuine sounding excuse and wants to rearrange, thats fine.
If things go quiet days before the meet, I block him!
2 strikes and you're out....no mercy!
"
You're so cruel |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont think I've been taken in by a catfisher in all honesty. Never had a no-show as a single or a couple. Laura has had 1 no-show. 100+ meets between us.bullshit "
Why would they not tell the truth ? ..why do you think it's Bullshit ? I believe them anyway. |
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"I dont think I've been taken in by a catfisher in all honesty. Never had a no-show as a single or a couple. Laura has had 1 no-show. 100+ meets between us.bullshit "
Why do you think that? I said exactly the same at the top of the thread.
Six years here across 4 different profiles and have met 60-70 people and never been catfished or had a no show.
If you continuously ignore the warning signs you will always be vulnerable to catfishing. |
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"bullshit "
Believe or don't believe no issue for me.
I build rapport over time with anyone I'm looking to meet. I don't send bulk messages. I look for folk who meet my needs and I meet theirs. I'm in no rush and take my time. I chat to people I've met from here on the forums, or on the chat groups, or in person at events. If there is a genuine connection then people don't tend to noshow. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"bullshit
Believe or don't believe no issue for me.
I build rapport over time with anyone I'm looking to meet. I don't send bulk messages. I look for folk who meet my needs and I meet theirs. I'm in no rush and take my time. I chat to people I've met from here on the forums, or on the chat groups, or in person at events. If there is a genuine connection then people don't tend to noshow."
This is pretty much what I do or have done when I'm meeting on here.And I'm the same so far I've never had a no show. I did have one guy turn up who looked nothing like his pic though.
Yes at the very start I had a couple of men who said they wanted to meet but never had a notion to. But I learnt fast how to avoid them and to spot the red flags.OP you even say in your post you spotted a pattern early enough but reading the rest of your post you ignored it and carried on anyhow. The simple truth is people can only waste your time if you allow them to. If you realised she was playing games why not either say it to her then or stop interacting.People will do it to you if you allow them them to on here. |
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"bullshit
Believe or don't believe no issue for me.
I build rapport over time with anyone I'm looking to meet. I don't send bulk messages. I look for folk who meet my needs and I meet theirs. I'm in no rush and take my time. I chat to people I've met from here on the forums, or on the chat groups, or in person at events. If there is a genuine connection then people don't tend to noshow.
This is pretty much what I do or have done when I'm meeting on here.And I'm the same so far I've never had a no show. I did have one guy turn up who looked nothing like his pic though.
Yes at the very start I had a couple of men who said they wanted to meet but never had a notion to. But I learnt fast how to avoid them and to spot the red flags.OP you even say in your post you spotted a pattern early enough but reading the rest of your post you ignored it and carried on anyhow. The simple truth is people can only waste your time if you allow them to. If you realised she was playing games why not either say it to her then or stop interacting.People will do it to you if you allow them them to on here. "
Hi bo.but it was not here that's the problem..if it was here I would not bat a eyelid..but it wasn't.. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"bullshit
Believe or don't believe no issue for me.
I build rapport over time with anyone I'm looking to meet. I don't send bulk messages. I look for folk who meet my needs and I meet theirs. I'm in no rush and take my time. I chat to people I've met from here on the forums, or on the chat groups, or in person at events. If there is a genuine connection then people don't tend to noshow.
This is pretty much what I do or have done when I'm meeting on here.And I'm the same so far I've never had a no show. I did have one guy turn up who looked nothing like his pic though.
Yes at the very start I had a couple of men who said they wanted to meet but never had a notion to. But I learnt fast how to avoid them and to spot the red flags.OP you even say in your post you spotted a pattern early enough but reading the rest of your post you ignored it and carried on anyhow. The simple truth is people can only waste your time if you allow them to. If you realised she was playing games why not either say it to her then or stop interacting.People will do it to you if you allow them them to on here. Hi bo.but it was not here that's the problem..if it was here I would not bat a eyelid..but it wasn't.."
Even outside of here don't allow them to do it.If you notice a pattern like that just move on. Don't allow people to use you or make you their plan b. That's my motto anyhow both on here and outside of here.  |
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"bullshit
Believe or don't believe no issue for me.
I build rapport over time with anyone I'm looking to meet. I don't send bulk messages. I look for folk who meet my needs and I meet theirs. I'm in no rush and take my time. I chat to people I've met from here on the forums, or on the chat groups, or in person at events. If there is a genuine connection then people don't tend to noshow.
This is pretty much what I do or have done when I'm meeting on here.And I'm the same so far I've never had a no show. I did have one guy turn up who looked nothing like his pic though.
Yes at the very start I had a couple of men who said they wanted to meet but never had a notion to. But I learnt fast how to avoid them and to spot the red flags.OP you even say in your post you spotted a pattern early enough but reading the rest of your post you ignored it and carried on anyhow. The simple truth is people can only waste your time if you allow them to. If you realised she was playing games why not either say it to her then or stop interacting.People will do it to you if you allow them them to on here. Hi bo.but it was not here that's the problem..if it was here I would not bat a eyelid..but it wasn't..
Even outside of here don't allow them to do it.If you notice a pattern like that just move on. Don't allow people to use you or make you their plan b. That's my motto anyhow both on here and outside of here. "
starting to think trust no one.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"starting to think trust no one..
That's a slight overreaction.
Just don't continue to ignore blatant red flags "
Totally this. Rather than trust no-one, be more careful with your trust - and at the first sign that trust is being abused, park it and move on. |
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"starting to think trust no one..
That's a slight overreaction.
Just don't continue to ignore blatant red flags
Totally this. Rather than trust no-one, be more careful with your trust - and at the first sign that trust is being abused, park it and move on. "
I'll never get out of the driveway so..lol lol lol... |
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This is a swinging site. Prob 50%fakes, dunno really. But I get the impression you might be better off on a dating site. Sounds to me you’re looking for a friend before a fuck . Best of look regardless |
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
I'm not really experienced in this field, I'm a doghunter and catfishing isn't my thing.
Anyhow what always surprises me how long it takes before people realise that they've been strung along respectively run out of patience. If something smells like shit... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi here to tell a story about me ..just after Christmas I got chatting with a lady from another platform chatting back and forth as it goes nothing heavy small talk,then work went mental for me for a week emergency flooding to deal with, save peoples homes, which we did ,but in the meantime still chatting with said lady.
Things went back to normal for so I decided to ask I call here pam out of a drink and a chat, ye OK she said by this time where chatting on the phone, plans put in place but a day before meeting up nothing...set time came and went nothing, 2 days later massage sorry something came up..I said yea OK.. put I could see a pattern forming, by this time were well in to February, I have a child who with me every second weekend, the weekend I have my kid all talk chatting mad..but the weekend I am free nothing from Thursday night to Monday morning, tried to set up to meet a few more times same thing..,but had enough of it was set to meet up last Saturday night, I was away in meath Saturday at a tournament was meeting on the way home, got a message to say best of luck, which was nice, that was it for the rest of the day in sent photos from the day massage, called when I was leaving, but nothing, I said to myself I be drinking alone again tonight,and I was,got home sent a message what the plan, o my friend died I am at the funeral have few drinks not going to happen..massage in the morning asking what game is she playing..as to say she was not happy with me calling her out on her behaviour..so there you go that it 3 months chatting not to show for it..."
That's not catfishing, catfishing is when somebody pretends to be someone else ie a man pretending to be a woman or vice versa, sounds like you met a good old fashioned time waster |
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