FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > What holds you back?
What holds you back?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Following on from belles thread.
What holds you back from ....
Life
Swinging
Etc
I definitely have a bit of imposter syndrome, and may cone across as confident etc but I'm shocking at putting myself first |
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Fab and swinging isn't a lifestyle choice for me. It's more of a hobby so the only thing holding me back is a conscious decision to continue choosing quality over quantity even if that makes me a fussy cunt.
In saying that though the last 15 months have been very challenging health-wise both for me personally and friends and family.
I lost 2 close family members in the space of 5 weeks over Christmas and January.
All of that has held me back in life over that period and things that used to be simple are now very complicated.
Hence why I'm not meeting for the foreseeable future and have had to postpone so many non fab adventures. |
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Life and swinging wise it’s pretty much the same
I need to put myself out there more
Although swing wise I’m afraid of walking into a social or party and finding it consists entirely of family and work colleagues….. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Swinging- not being a swinger
Life - mostly motivation, not that I could do anything I set my mind to because that's nonsense but things which are attainable which I might like my own focus is the only thing to blame |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
On here and swinging there's a few reasons one being I'm not a swinger I've never thought of myself as one,in the last year or so I've too much going on in my life outside of here and that will always take priority over fab, and lack of mojo to be bothered as well when I do get any rare spare time as well.
In life outside of here pretty much the same with too much going on in my life with family and friends and work to have the time or energy at present especially to do some of the things I want to do.I am hoping things will calm down and I can start to make some plans in the coming year. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I need to just say "fuck it"
COVID had a huge impact on me. I had been on a roll and had great momentum in a lot of areas; I'm only starting to get some of that confidence back. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It has been a difficult period in my life since Covid started with work, personal health, family illness, and close family bereavement.
All of the above have made me reassess the important things in my life and concentrate more on my own health and my family.
Fab has been a very small part of my life during this time. I don't see myself as a swinger, and have always preferred quality over quantity.
Going forward, I really don't know if Fab will become as interesting as it used to be. Time will tell! |
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Like most answers here health troubles both mine and close family members have held us back over the last 2 years and even more so recently.
Like of self-confidence for Mrs also… but that’s mostly on Fab.
And for like most people also… life is just very busy… too busy!
Wishing all of ye guys better health and brighter future xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well I guess that Lisa would probably say me on here but we’ve been together a long time and she’s still not home
So hopefully something is going right for her she definitely deserves it night all |
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By *alvin.Man
over a year ago
Cork/Dublin |
Holding me back?
Life....I love my life tbh..It's full and focussed. My only role is to love my kids. I'll probably falter but I won't give up.. Work will look after itself. My family and friends held my forehead when I needed it. I'll do the same...x
Swinging. I'm single so that's a broad church.
etc. The broader context of other things in my life holding me back that doesn't come from the other two questions above is I suppose.... Shelter. Health. wellbeing. I'm a lucky sucker and let's leave it at that. I hope the best for all you. I really do...xx |
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By *alvin.Man
over a year ago
Cork/Dublin |
Oh yeah...And The Ma always says (in her Dub granny accent) " drive on gorgeous, just be kind". The gorgeous bit was her over reaching. But she's a Ma overall. Nothing fuking ever held her back. Apples falling from trees...you know the score  |
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In the last 3 years there has been Covid, Marriage break up, Lost my job/career mid first lockdown, 2 house moves and total heartbreak that has left me empty. I’m now back at a better job role, bought my own property and things will get better but the cost of living solo and the heartbreak has swept my feet from me and I’m desperate to find me again no confidence whatsoever , no desire to be in a relationship ever again and absolutely no mojo. Terrified this is it. Haha this is like a therapy thread. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In the last 3 years there has been Covid, Marriage break up, Lost my job/career mid first lockdown, 2 house moves and total heartbreak that has left me empty. I’m now back at a better job role, bought my own property and things will get better but the cost of living solo and the heartbreak has swept my feet from me and I’m desperate to find me again no confidence whatsoever , no desire to be in a relationship ever again and absolutely no mojo. Terrified this is it. Haha this is like a therapy thread. "
Good for you Belle. You sound like you are a strong woman! Good things lay ahead for you I'm sure of it! |
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"In the last 3 years there has been Covid, Marriage break up, Lost my job/career mid first lockdown, 2 house moves and total heartbreak that has left me empty. I’m now back at a better job role, bought my own property and things will get better but the cost of living solo and the heartbreak has swept my feet from me and I’m desperate to find me again no confidence whatsoever , no desire to be in a relationship ever again and absolutely no mojo. Terrified this is it. Haha this is like a therapy thread.
Good for you Belle. You sound like you are a strong woman! Good things lay ahead for you I'm sure of it! "
Thanks Mel life is for living and the knocks as well as the up times let u know u are alive so my life will be great whatever that looks like |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
"In the last 3 years there has been Covid, Marriage break up, Lost my job/career mid first lockdown, 2 house moves and total heartbreak that has left me empty. I’m now back at a better job role, bought my own property and things will get better but the cost of living solo and the heartbreak has swept my feet from me and I’m desperate to find me again no confidence whatsoever , no desire to be in a relationship ever again and absolutely no mojo. Terrified this is it. Haha this is like a therapy thread. "
And yet you always have a smile on your face and a very positive outlook....fair play to you |
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Yep bog gotta take what life throws at you with the greatest respect and live life to the full I was a widow at age 30 so I know that I will always always be thankful and search for the fun. Lol it means I’m a bit full on though as I’m a yeah let’s try it kinda person haha. All good. Now someone put a good post up next fgs. |
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"In the last 3 years there has been Covid, Marriage break up, Lost my job/career mid first lockdown, 2 house moves and total heartbreak that has left me empty. I’m now back at a better job role, bought my own property and things will get better but the cost of living solo and the heartbreak has swept my feet from me and I’m desperate to find me again no confidence whatsoever , no desire to be in a relationship ever again and absolutely no mojo. Terrified this is it. Haha this is like a therapy thread.
Good for you Belle. You sound like you are a strong woman! Good things lay ahead for you I'm sure of it!
Thanks Mel life is for living and the knocks as well as the up times let u know u are alive so my life will be great whatever that looks like"
Well said Belle. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger! We get back up and keep smiling.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In the last 3 years there has been Covid, Marriage break up, Lost my job/career mid first lockdown, 2 house moves and total heartbreak that has left me empty. I’m now back at a better job role, bought my own property and things will get better but the cost of living solo and the heartbreak has swept my feet from me and I’m desperate to find me again no confidence whatsoever , no desire to be in a relationship ever again and absolutely no mojo. Terrified this is it. Haha this is like a therapy thread. "
I thought this WAS a therapy thread   |
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"In the last 3 years there has been Covid, Marriage break up, Lost my job/career mid first lockdown, 2 house moves and total heartbreak that has left me empty. I’m now back at a better job role, bought my own property and things will get better but the cost of living solo and the heartbreak has swept my feet from me and I’m desperate to find me again no confidence whatsoever , no desire to be in a relationship ever again and absolutely no mojo. Terrified this is it. Haha this is like a therapy thread.
I thought this WAS a therapy thread "
I will take the therapy any where I can get it lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In the last 3 years there has been Covid, Marriage break up, Lost my job/career mid first lockdown, 2 house moves and total heartbreak that has left me empty. I’m now back at a better job role, bought my own property and things will get better but the cost of living solo and the heartbreak has swept my feet from me and I’m desperate to find me again no confidence whatsoever , no desire to be in a relationship ever again and absolutely no mojo. Terrified this is it. Haha this is like a therapy thread.
I thought this WAS a therapy thread
I will take the therapy any where I can get it lol "
You're in luck... I'm a qualified counselor... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you all who posted, your are all bloody marvellous and warriors.
Justbo here's to you having a great year and getting to do more for you and coming to sligo for a visit.
Belle you are gorgeous, with a stunning smile and your mojo will appear, she's probably on the sane beach mine is on in bora bora for the last 20 years. See you in 2 weeks xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Looking forward to a great nites craic with all u cool people. Do we have a dancefloor as once JimmyGinger tickles my tonsils I won’t be able to sit down lol. "
Jesus christ don't give them tickled tonsils imagery this early in the morning |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Looking forward to a great nites craic with all u cool people. Do we have a dancefloor as once JimmyGinger tickles my tonsils I won’t be able to sit down lol. "
I'm sure that they'll have chairs. You'll be able to sit down  |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"Thank you all who posted, your are all bloody marvellous and warriors.
Justbo here's to you having a great year and getting to do more for you and coming to sligo for a visit.
Belle you are gorgeous, with a stunning smile and your mojo will appear, she's probably on the sane beach mine is on in bora bora for the last 20 years. See you in 2 weeks xx
"
A trip to Sligo is definitely one of my plans this year |
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What holds me back?
For decades I allowed my anxiety to hold me back. The fear of the unknown. The fear of doing or saying something embarrassing. The fear of doing or saying something that upsets someone, not that I set out to upset people in the first place. Thankfully this has gotten better over the years but since and during covid I’ve felt it’s dirty tendrils trying to take hold again.
The fear of letting people get too close, the constant feeling at the back of my head of people dropping and moving on once something better comes along
The feeling of not being good enough, of always being one or two steps behind my peers.
Being an introvert and not a big talker I tend not to put myself out there, not wanting to be centre of attention.
My list could go on but I won’t bore ye. And these aren’t exclusive to fab it’s pretty much life in general. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At this stage of my life, I am where I want to be, it's not been easy but I've learned what happens when you don't prioritise your own well-being. Laziness is what holds me back quite frequently, but I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. I would like to reduce my working days from 4 to 3, and have just got my boss to agree we will work towards this over the next few months. Time is the only thing I don't have enough of, and every day there's a little less of it left.
Fab-wise, we've had the experiences we came here for, right now we have no interest in meeting, maybe that will change again, maybe it won't. |
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