FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Affection + sex
Affection + sex
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally, I don’t have any idea about affection lol for me affection will lead to attachment, which = toxic  let me run LOL…but definitely there should be good laugh, intense eye contact and similar interests, glue it together creates the vibrant physical intimacy between MM MF FF MMF FFM etc relationships   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Definitely agree has to be some affection. Had a fwb for a year on here and it was great, lots of hot sex, many a good afternoon in bed, cheeky afternoons of work, breakfast in bed, lunch date, or gym date but no relationship and it was great.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Connection is vital, I don’t see the attraction is sleeping with someone you haven’t got any chemistry with. Needs to be a bit of intimacy between both parties, plus it makes the whole experience so much better. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have to agree. Of course defection needs to be part of a meet….affection doesn’t need to mean developing feelings. Easy to have fun in the moment and leave it there. Affection often means a better connection and then a better moment |
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Having a good connection with someone doesn't always HAVE to led to something more serious. It doesn't always MEAN something more serious. But based on my experience of the random hook ups or the forming of a connection through conversation or multiple meets, it DOES lead to better se & an all around better use of my time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I mean it makes entire sense. If you’ve built a connection with someone you also want to make sure they’re comfortable and having a good time. Everyone benefits, plus after the deed is done you wanna know to can chill and chat with that person. Otherwise it’s just madly awkward and empty haha |
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We agree too. A connection is essential and when you can relax, chat, laugh and cuddle with the person you’re with, it makes it so much more enjoyable. Showing affection (kisses, caresses, cuddles) is NOT love. Just shows we are humans not robots!
We LOVE skin to skin contact… the sensuality of it!
Wham bam thank you m’am is definitely not for us! |
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I think having a good connection with a play partner is key! Affectionate kissing touching etc builds to the fun for me. And being able to communicate what feels good, not so good and what they want more of. Ive had some regular play friends and the sex was amazing because of this.  |
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"Just thinking here... People are looking for sex but rarely want to share some affection.
Even if it is a night NSA I prefer having a bit of connection, what do you think?"
I agree with you I’d like a bit of affection now and again rather than a fuck and go situation |
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By *ind PaddyMan
over a year ago
South County Dublin |
"Just thinking here... People are looking for sex but rarely want to share some affection.
Even if it is a night NSA I prefer having a bit of connection, what do you think?"
There has to be a connection, it is also nice to show some affection |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is where swinging and I part ways tbh. It's why I don't see the free-wheeling party/event/hotel after-party type of fuck&go sex as being genuinely satisfying.
I can see that it might be risky and fun and a novelty, but satisfying? Don't see it. |
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"Just thinking here... People are looking for sex but rarely want to share some affection.
Even if it is a night NSA I prefer having a bit of connection, what do you think?"
exactly sum on here just see it as another notch on there bedpost .not me definitely lots of cuddles afterwards and even during playtime is good |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I've done both on here and sex without affection to me is just okay. The sex itself might be grand and quite fun at the time I never found it to be mind blowing though. But after it just feels meh like something was missing.
Sex with affection is definitely better and more fulfilling. Not to mention more likely to be repeat meets. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Problem with sex that has affection unchecked, is although the sex is oh so much better, it blurs emotional boundaries and can lead to people getting hurt….."
Life is short and meant to be lived not endured or just existing.
I'm an adult and can deal with it if/when things reach the end of their natural life.
I'd rather dive in with my eyes as wide open as my heart and feel all the feels and the highest of the highs than play it too safe in the shallows of life  |
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I've only ever had one spontaneous meet on here and while I don't regret it I would place it well down the list of enjoyable experiences.
I've had sex with 7 people in 6 years here and that's by choice rather than opportunity and have said no many more times than I've said yes.
That's because I much prefer to have a connection with the person I'm getting naked with.
Not because I'm looking for a relationship but just because it's much more enjoyable knowing we are on the same wavelength.
Hugs and cuddles are all part of that and so is laughter rather than sex just for the sake of it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Affection is always a must for me.
Quality over quantity and I have no real interest in just sex for the sake of sex.
Affection is the icing on the cake and makes you want to come back for more each time. |
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"Problem with sex that has affection unchecked, is although the sex is oh so much better, it blurs emotional boundaries and can lead to people getting hurt…..
Life is short and meant to be lived not endured or just existing.
I'm an adult and can deal with it if/when things reach the end of their natural life.
I'd rather dive in with my eyes as wide open as my heart and feel all the feels and the highest of the highs than play it too safe in the shallows of life "
From life experience, people who get into casual arrangements, and then put their own selfishness first really shouldn’t do casual, I understand where you’re coming from, but I got into a casual arrangement once, and after a while, nothing would do her but express that she was getting feels, I begged her not to go there because I wasn’t ready, and she was leaving the country a while down the line, I was still processing my last relationship, but in my own foolishness and her stubborn selfishness, i let my guard down and I allowed myself fall in love, and then she left, and left me in a mess…
So since then, I’m careful with how I treat people I’m with, for their sake not mine, we all know pretty quickly whose for us and whose only for the now, and until I’m ready to give someone my all, I do my best to ensure that anyone I’m with is on the same page and that Their not at risk of being hurt by allowing themselves get attached. I’d rather people think I’m an asshole and want nothing to do with me, than end up hurt because they didn’t listen…… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Problem with sex that has affection unchecked, is although the sex is oh so much better, it blurs emotional boundaries and can lead to people getting hurt…..
Life is short and meant to be lived not endured or just existing.
I'm an adult and can deal with it if/when things reach the end of their natural life.
I'd rather dive in with my eyes as wide open as my heart and feel all the feels and the highest of the highs than play it too safe in the shallows of life
From life experience, people who get into casual arrangements, and then put their own selfishness first really shouldn’t do casual, I understand where you’re coming from, but I got into a casual arrangement once, and after a while, nothing would do her but express that she was getting feels, I begged her not to go there because I wasn’t ready, and she was leaving the country a while down the line, I was still processing my last relationship, but in my own foolishness and her stubborn selfishness, i let my guard down and I allowed myself fall in love, and then she left, and left me in a mess…
So since then, I’m careful with how I treat people I’m with, for their sake not mine, we all know pretty quickly whose for us and whose only for the now, and until I’m ready to give someone my all, I do my best to ensure that anyone I’m with is on the same page and that Their not at risk of being hurt by allowing themselves get attached. I’d rather people think I’m an asshole and want nothing to do with me, than end up hurt because they didn’t listen……"
Stop blaming her for your choice to grow feelings in return of hers.
There's nothing selfish in my comment. As it happens I'm wearing my big girl panties and dealing with a casual arrangement ending as I type.
Your comment reeks of immaturity.
Good luck |
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"Problem with sex that has affection unchecked, is although the sex is oh so much better, it blurs emotional boundaries and can lead to people getting hurt…..
Life is short and meant to be lived not endured or just existing.
I'm an adult and can deal with it if/when things reach the end of their natural life.
I'd rather dive in with my eyes as wide open as my heart and feel all the feels and the highest of the highs than play it too safe in the shallows of life
From life experience, people who get into casual arrangements, and then put their own selfishness first really shouldn’t do casual, I understand where you’re coming from, but I got into a casual arrangement once, and after a while, nothing would do her but express that she was getting feels, I begged her not to go there because I wasn’t ready, and she was leaving the country a while down the line, I was still processing my last relationship, but in my own foolishness and her stubborn selfishness, i let my guard down and I allowed myself fall in love, and then she left, and left me in a mess…
So since then, I’m careful with how I treat people I’m with, for their sake not mine, we all know pretty quickly whose for us and whose only for the now, and until I’m ready to give someone my all, I do my best to ensure that anyone I’m with is on the same page and that Their not at risk of being hurt by allowing themselves get attached. I’d rather people think I’m an asshole and want nothing to do with me, than end up hurt because they didn’t listen……
Stop blaming her for your choice to grow feelings in return of hers.
There's nothing selfish in my comment. As it happens I'm wearing my big girl panties and dealing with a casual arrangement ending as I type.
Your comment reeks of immaturity.
Good luck "
Neither do I blame her, or think you selfish, apologies if that’s what you took from it.
Good luck yourself |
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"Just thinking here... People are looking for sex but rarely want to share some affection.
Even if it is a night NSA I prefer having a bit of connection, what do you think?"
You can have either on their own and many are happy that way but for me, both together are greater than the sum of their parts. It's not even a question to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's more about chemistry and liking the person than "affection". Affection to me is an emotional connection that comes with long acquaintance.
And I'm not going to have sex with someone I neither like nor feel chemistry with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's more about chemistry and liking the person than "affection". Affection to me is an emotional connection that comes with long acquaintance.
And I'm not going to have sex with someone I neither like nor feel chemistry with."
Totally agree. You can feel chemistry when you meet a person, but affection comes with time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's more about chemistry and liking the person than "affection". Affection to me is an emotional connection that comes with long acquaintance.
And I'm not going to have sex with someone I neither like nor feel chemistry with.
Totally agree. You can feel chemistry when you meet a person, but affection comes with time."
Sadly not the case for everyone.
Some can put a disconnect between sex and feelings.
Nifty trick on a sex site to be fair.
It's not for me though. |
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"It's more about chemistry and liking the person than "affection". Affection to me is an emotional connection that comes with long acquaintance.
And I'm not going to have sex with someone I neither like nor feel chemistry with.
Totally agree. You can feel chemistry when you meet a person, but affection comes with time.
Sadly not the case for everyone.
Some can put a disconnect between sex and feelings.
Nifty trick on a sex site to be fair.
It's not for me though."
Nor I.
I crave the affection too. |
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"Problem with sex that has affection unchecked, is although the sex is oh so much better, it blurs emotional boundaries and can lead to people getting hurt…..
It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Life is short and meant to be lived not endured or just existing.
I'm an adult and can deal with it if/when things reach the end of their natural life.
I'd rather dive in with my eyes as wide open as my heart and feel all the feels and the highest of the highs than play it too safe in the shallows of life
From life experience, people who get into casual arrangements, and then put their own selfishness first really shouldn’t do casual, I understand where you’re coming from, but I got into a casual arrangement once, and after a while, nothing would do her but express that she was getting feels, I begged her not to go there because I wasn’t ready, and she was leaving the country a while down the line, I was still processing my last relationship, but in my own foolishness and her stubborn selfishness, i let my guard down and I allowed myself fall in love, and then she left, and left me in a mess…
So since then, I’m careful with how I treat people I’m with, for their sake not mine, we all know pretty quickly whose for us and whose only for the now, and until I’m ready to give someone my all, I do my best to ensure that anyone I’m with is on the same page and that Their not at risk of being hurt by allowing themselves get attached. I’d rather people think I’m an asshole and want nothing to do with me, than end up hurt because they didn’t listen……"
Its better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just thinking here... People are looking for sex but rarely want to share some affection.
Even if it is a night NSA I prefer having a bit of connection, what do you think?"
That sounds lovely |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Definitely agree has to be some affection. Had a fwb for a year on here and it was great, lots of hot sex, many a good afternoon in bed, cheeky afternoons of work, breakfast in bed, lunch date, or gym date but no relationship and it was great.
"
Fantastic!!! |
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"Just thinking here... People are looking for sex but rarely want to share some affection.
Even if it is a night NSA I prefer having a bit of connection, what do you think?"
You have to have attraction. Some kind of connection...otherwise there is no point in shag whatsoever. I would rather play with myself if that's the case. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is where swinging and I part ways tbh. It's why I don't see the free-wheeling party/event/hotel after-party type of fuck&go sex as being genuinely satisfying.
I can see that it might be risky and fun and a novelty, but satisfying? Don't see it."
totally agree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes the affection part gets me in trouble.
Feels don't behave well when the red head factor is engaged 
The challenges of being amazing... just ask Bob, he got it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just thinking here... People are looking for sex but rarely want to share some affection.
Even if it is a night NSA I prefer having a bit of connection, what do you think?"
Totally get what you are saying... Affection creates a connection that doesn't have to be attachment but a friendly warm relationship.. intimacy and sex under the umbrella of affection is absolutely awesome  |
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"I have to agree. Of course defection needs to be part of a meet….affection doesn’t need to mean developing feelings. Easy to have fun in the moment and leave it there. Affection often means a better connection and then a better moment"
To you of your meet tend to defect ? |
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"I have to agree. Of course defection needs to be part of a meet….affection doesn’t need to mean developing feelings. Easy to have fun in the moment and leave it there. Affection often means a better connection and then a better moment
To you of your meet tend to defect ? "
I think there is a difference in connection and chemistry compared to affection... I think connection and chemistry are great for a meet of fwb situation. Affection on the other hand tends to come from getting fond of someone on a more personal relationship type level . Imo |
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