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Coloured girls
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By *asual777Man
over a year ago
i travel all over |
I think we just need to be thoughtful in the terms we use
From the BBC
In europe the term is, at best, seen as old fashioned and "something your gran might say".
But it's also regarded as a highly offensive racial slur which recalls a time when casual racism was a part of everyday life.
In the US, because of the country's recent era of racial segregation, it is among the most offensive words for describing a black person.
"[It] was used to describe anybody who was not white, which may imply that to be white is 'normal' or default," |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It was just something I noticed and asked about nothing racist or anything like that "
I don't think casual was saying you meant it is as racist. Just trying to help educate on appropriate language.
Good job Casual. |
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By *iscuits8Man
over a year ago
Meath / Dublin / Birmingham |
Nobody is "going off on rants" though. They're just educating you. It's an offensive term and has been for a long time. You're the one getting worked up.
Be thankful for it... you never know, it could save you from a smack in the mouth if it's ever uttered to the wrong person somewhere some day. |
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"Nobody is "going off on rants" though. They're just educating you. It's an offensive term and has been for a long time. You're the one getting worked up.
Be thankful for it... you never know, it could save you from a smack in the mouth if it's ever uttered to the wrong person somewhere some day."
The arrogance of telling somebody they should be helpful for what you deem as them being educated.
For somebody so enlightened You think you'd know better than to be so condescending. |
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By *iscuits8Man
over a year ago
Meath / Dublin / Birmingham |
I'm not being condescending to anyone I've used terms in the past, we probably all have.. but then I learned that they a bit outdated and possibly offensive so didn't use them anymore. Jaysus, I was only pointing out that he said people were ranting when they weren't. |
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By *iscuits8Man
over a year ago
Meath / Dublin / Birmingham |
"you never know, it could save you from a smack in the mouth if it's ever uttered to the wrong person somewhere some day."
For what it's worth I should've put a or something on the end of this, it reads kind of badly. I was in now way condoning or justifying something like that, just suggesting people can potentially react bad to particular terms! |
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
"I think we just need to be thoughtful in the terms we use
From the BBC
In europe the term is, at best, seen as old fashioned and "something your gran might say".
But it's also regarded as a highly offensive racial slur which recalls a time when casual racism was a part of everyday life.
In the US, because of the country's recent era of racial segregation, it is among the most offensive words for describing a black person.
"[It] was used to describe anybody who was not white, which may imply that to be white is 'normal' or default,""
Although both of my grannies were sexually no saints I can't imagine that they even knew what BBC stands for. |
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By *ealmc1973Man
over a year ago
Limerick, Clare, Tipperary |
...of Jewish religion.
'POC' jeeeeez, heard it all now Sure, that could be anyone.
Although on strictly technical term note, White and Black are not colours
BTW, I think, there's no ranting happening here, just discussion. |
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"Just after been chatting to an old lady friend of mine and she said just refer to a black lady as a black lady and before someone attacks me yes xhe is a black lady"
I like her ... she makes sense |
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"...of Jewish religion.
'POC' jeeeeez, heard it all now Sure, that could be anyone.
Although on strictly technical term note, White and Black are not colours
BTW, I think, there's no ranting happening here, just discussion."
It’s a good acronym tbf, Paul O’ Connell was one of Ireland’s greatest ever redheads |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just after been chatting to an old lady friend of mine and she said just refer to a black lady as a black lady and before someone attacks me yes xhe is a black lady"
And that's perfectly acceptable.
Persons of colour is an umbrella term that refers to anyone who is not white. This includes black people but does not exclusively mean black people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Coloured isn’t a great term to use
So what word do you use to describe the colour of a person's skin that is the opposite to white ? "
Did I miss something, I thought white was a colour too |
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"Coloured isn’t a great term to use
So what word do you use to describe the colour of a person's skin that is the opposite to white ?
Did I miss something, I thought white was a colour too "
Call everyone colored??? |
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"I'm not being condescending to anyone I've used terms in the past, we probably all have.. but then I learned that they a bit outdated and possibly offensive so didn't use them anymore. Jaysus, I was only pointing out that he said people were ranting when they weren't."
Why do you have to take the Lords name in vain?... Shame on you, Where's your good Christian values?? Whats the site coming to. |
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"Just after been chatting to an old lady friend of mine and she said just refer to a black lady as a black lady and before someone attacks me yes xhe is a black lady"
Yes, but why say she is old? Does her age matter,why mention it? If she was young, would you mention your young friend... |
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By *iscuits8Man
over a year ago
Meath / Dublin / Birmingham |
"How about African or Caribbean or Asian? Are these racist words? "
No, because these terms weren't historically widely used in a derogatory manner against people from there like 'coloured' was. |
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By *yesgreenMan
over a year ago
north and south |
"How about African or Caribbean or Asian? Are these racist words?
No, because these terms weren't historically widely used in a derogatory manner against people from there like 'coloured' was." Find women that you fancy and good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Coloured isn’t a great term to use
So what word do you use to describe the colour of a person's skin that is the opposite to white ?
Did I miss something, I thought white was a colour too
Call everyone colored??? "
Or nobody |
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"Coloured isn’t a great term to use
So what word do you use to describe the colour of a person's skin that is the opposite to white ?
Did I miss something, I thought white was a colour too
Call everyone colored???
Or nobody "
So if you need to refer to someone's skin colour .... say suitable makeup ...or artificial skin graph pigmentation...? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Coloured isn’t a great term to use
So what word do you use to describe the colour of a person's skin that is the opposite to white ?
Did I miss something, I thought white was a colour too
Call everyone colored???
Or nobody
So if you need to refer to someone's skin colour .... say suitable makeup ...or artificial skin graph pigmentation...?"
Then refer to them by their actual skin colour or nationality. White is white, black is black.... Asian is Asian. If you are trying to give an accurate description of a person coloured won't do it. |
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"Coloured isn’t a great term to use
So what word do you use to describe the colour of a person's skin that is the opposite to white ?
Did I miss something, I thought white was a colour too
Call everyone colored???
Or nobody
So if you need to refer to someone's skin colour .... say suitable makeup ...or artificial skin graph pigmentation...?
Then refer to them by their actual skin colour or nationality. White is white, black is black.... Asian is Asian. If you are trying to give an accurate description of a person coloured won't do it. "
Were you not avacating that white is part of colored too ??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Coloured isn’t a great term to use
So what word do you use to describe the colour of a person's skin that is the opposite to white ?
Did I miss something, I thought white was a colour too
Call everyone colored???
Or nobody
So if you need to refer to someone's skin colour .... say suitable makeup ...or artificial skin graph pigmentation...?
Then refer to them by their actual skin colour or nationality. White is white, black is black.... Asian is Asian. If you are trying to give an accurate description of a person coloured won't do it.
Were you not avacating that white is part of colored too ???"
No I was actually hoping you would see how ridiculous the word coloured is to use by pointing out every single skin colour technically falls under the term coloured. Unless you see white as in some way different or dare i say superior and that's where the racism may sneak in.
Just my perspective |
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"Coloured isn’t a great term to use
So what word do you use to describe the colour of a person's skin that is the opposite to white ?
Did I miss something, I thought white was a colour too
Call everyone colored???
Or nobody
So if you need to refer to someone's skin colour .... say suitable makeup ...or artificial skin graph pigmentation...?
Then refer to them by their actual skin colour or nationality. White is white, black is black.... Asian is Asian. If you are trying to give an accurate description of a person coloured won't do it.
Were you not avacating that white is part of colored too ???
No I was actually hoping you would see how ridiculous the word coloured is to use by pointing out every single skin colour technically falls under the term coloured. Unless you see white as in some way different or dare i say superior and that's where the racism may sneak in.
Just my perspective "
Jeasus . I was asking what word you would use instead of colored... your mind went to white Supremacy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Coloured isn’t a great term to use
So what word do you use to describe the colour of a person's skin that is the opposite to white ?
Did I miss something, I thought white was a colour too
Call everyone colored???
Or nobody
So if you need to refer to someone's skin colour .... say suitable makeup ...or artificial skin graph pigmentation...?
Then refer to them by their actual skin colour or nationality. White is white, black is black.... Asian is Asian. If you are trying to give an accurate description of a person coloured won't do it.
Were you not avacating that white is part of colored too ???
No I was actually hoping you would see how ridiculous the word coloured is to use by pointing out every single skin colour technically falls under the term coloured. Unless you see white as in some way different or dare i say superior and that's where the racism may sneak in.
Just my perspective
Jeasus . I was asking what word you would use instead of colored... your mind went to white Supremacy. "
Actually i just asked a question too |
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To be honest race is literally the last thing I would think about i couldn't careless if someone was was pink with yellow polka dots all over if we get along then nothing else should matter perhaps it's threads like this that may put off people from joining here |
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"Coloured isn’t a great term to use
So what word do you use to describe the colour of a person's skin that is the opposite to white ?
Did I miss something, I thought white was a colour too
Call everyone colored???
Or nobody
So if you need to refer to someone's skin colour .... say suitable makeup ...or artificial skin graph pigmentation...?
Then refer to them by their actual skin colour or nationality. White is white, black is black.... Asian is Asian. If you are trying to give an accurate description of a person coloured won't do it.
Were you not avacating that white is part of colored too ???
No I was actually hoping you would see how ridiculous the word coloured is to use by pointing out every single skin colour technically falls under the term coloured. Unless you see white as in some way different or dare i say superior and that's where the racism may sneak in.
Just my perspective
Jeasus . I was asking what word you would use instead of colored... your mind went to white Supremacy.
Actually i just asked a question too"
Hmmmm followed by a lil annoyed judgmental emoji ... whatever |
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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago
Newry Down |
This is an exceptionally sensitive issue, that merits detailed discussion
Personally, I really enjoy speaking to people from different cultures, and especially those who are not white because although the environments in which many were brought up were very different from the typical Irish culture, it quickly becomes apparent that as humans we are very similar, remarkably so!
Some swingers sites in the USA do cater exclusively for black people, but apart from the skin colour of their members, they are almost indistinguishable from other swingers sites.
In the Republic of Ireland there seems to be a larger percentage of the populace who are coloured, than in Northern Ireland, but I do not have access to precise statistics about this. |
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"This is an exceptionally sensitive issue, that merits detailed discussion
Personally, I really enjoy speaking to people from different cultures, and especially those who are not white because although the environments in which many were brought up were very different from the typical Irish culture, it quickly becomes apparent that as humans we are very similar, remarkably so!
Some swingers sites in the USA do cater exclusively for black people, but apart from the skin colour of their members, they are almost indistinguishable from other swingers sites.
In the Republic of Ireland there seems to be a larger percentage of the populace who are coloured, than in Northern Ireland, but I do not have access to precise statistics about this. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Coloured isn’t a great term to use
So what word do you use to describe the colour of a person's skin that is the opposite to white ?
Did I miss something, I thought white was a colour too
Call everyone colored???
Or nobody
So if you need to refer to someone's skin colour .... say suitable makeup ...or artificial skin graph pigmentation...?
Then refer to them by their actual skin colour or nationality. White is white, black is black.... Asian is Asian. If you are trying to give an accurate description of a person coloured won't do it.
Were you not avacating that white is part of colored too ???
No I was actually hoping you would see how ridiculous the word coloured is to use by pointing out every single skin colour technically falls under the term coloured. Unless you see white as in some way different or dare i say superior and that's where the racism may sneak in.
Just my perspective
Jeasus . I was asking what word you would use instead of colored... your mind went to white Supremacy.
Actually i just asked a question too
Hmmmm followed by a lil annoyed judgmental emoji ... whatever "
If ya say so |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be honest race is literally the last thing I would think about i couldn't careless if someone was was pink with yellow polka dots all over if we get along then nothing else should matter perhaps it's threads like this that may put off people from joining here"
New kink unlocked |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Only Black?
I'd love to see more girls in general, regardless of their race age or colour
...but I'd love to see more Redheads - PM open...ehmm "
Lol…. Here here!!!! |
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"Just after been chatting to an old lady friend of mine and she said just refer to a black lady as a black lady and before someone attacks me yes xhe is a black lady
Yes, but why say she is old? Does her age matter,why mention it? If she was young, would you mention your young friend... "
Old as in a friend from a long time not elderly |
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
I wonder if it was a woman posting looking for more black cock would the thread have taken this curve
If I want a fat bird ill look for a fat bird
If I want a skinny bird should I not look for a skinny bird
If I want a black bird isnt it a black bird I should look for
If I want kinky bird should I not look for a kinky bird
Its not being rasist its being decripitive and before you ask whats this bird shit its slang for a woman, the same as women look for BWC or BBC
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I hope I don't offend anyone but here in ireland there seems to be a severe shortage of black girls on this site. I personally would love to see a lot more"
Don't be so ignorant using the term coloured, white is a colour too, correct term is black |
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By *in_ToncMan
over a year ago
London/Dublin |
"I think we just need to be thoughtful in the terms we use
From the BBC
In europe the term is, at best, seen as old fashioned and "something your gran might say".
But it's also regarded as a highly offensive racial slur which recalls a time when casual racism was a part of everyday life.
In the US, because of the country's recent era of racial segregation, it is among the most offensive words for describing a black person.
"[It] was used to describe anybody who was not white, which may imply that to be white is 'normal' or default,""
The problem is these days where do we stop with this, Everything is racist, everyone’s getting cancelled it’ll never stop.. If I’m white I can call myself a “white boy” but if a black guy calls me “white boy” he’s racist.. |
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By *in_ToncMan
over a year ago
London/Dublin |
"So what's the craic looking for a blond as opposed to a ginger ..is that racist
Seriously? "
Yep unfortunately this is the way the world is going, Apparently if you call someone “bald” it’s sexual harassment too |
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"So what's the craic looking for a blond as opposed to a ginger ..is that racist
Seriously?
Yep unfortunately this is the way the world is going, Apparently if you call someone “bald” it’s sexual harassment too " have felt so violated i now wear a hat everyday |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So what's the craic looking for a blond as opposed to a ginger ..is that racist
Seriously?
Yep unfortunately this is the way the world is going, Apparently if you call someone “bald” it’s sexual harassment too "
It was a rhetorical "seriously". I don't need protected characteristics incorrectly mansplained to me. And as with most attention-grabbing headlines, calling someone bald is not of and in itself sexual harassment |
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"The whole premise of fetishising people based on their ethnicity is quite racist.
They are all people within their own right, not a box for anyone to tick."
Surly by that logic... it should apply to size, hair colour , nationality, age , body type , book size and on and on and on ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The whole premise of fetishising people based on their ethnicity is quite racist.
They are all people within their own right, not a box for anyone to tick.
Surly by that logic... it should apply to size, hair colour , nationality, age , body type , book size and on and on and on ?"
The key word was fetishising. Many people find being fetishised for a particular characteristic repugnant. Obviously not all are about race and ergo are not racist. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The whole premise of fetishising people based on their ethnicity is quite racist.
They are all people within their own right, not a box for anyone to tick.
Surly by that logic... it should apply to size, hair colour , nationality, age , body type , book size and on and on and on ?
The key word was fetishising. Many people find being fetishised for a particular characteristic repugnant. Obviously not all are about race and ergo are not racist."
Or nationality!!! |
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"The whole premise of fetishising people based on their ethnicity is quite racist.
They are all people within their own right, not a box for anyone to tick.
Surly by that logic... it should apply to size, hair colour , nationality, age , body type , book size and on and on and on ?
The key word was fetishising. Many people find being fetishised for a particular characteristic repugnant. Obviously not all are about race and ergo are not racist."
What I'm getting from this is if I say I want sex with black people its ok
If I say I want sex with only black people its racist???
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
"The whole premise of fetishising people based on their ethnicity is quite racist.
They are all people within their own right, not a box for anyone to tick.
Surly by that logic... it should apply to size, hair colour , nationality, age , body type , book size and on and on and on ?
The key word was fetishising. Many people find being fetishised for a particular characteristic repugnant. Obviously not all are about race and ergo are not racist.
What I'm getting from this is if I say I want sex with black people its ok
If I say I want sex with only black people its racist???
"
No its a preference |
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"The whole premise of fetishising people based on their ethnicity is quite racist.
They are all people within their own right, not a box for anyone to tick.
Surly by that logic... it should apply to size, hair colour , nationality, age , body type , book size and on and on and on ?
The key word was fetishising. Many people find being fetishised for a particular characteristic repugnant. Obviously not all are about race and ergo are not racist.
What I'm getting from this is if I say I want sex with black people its ok
If I say I want sex with only black people its racist???
No its a preference "
Thats what I thought .... |
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"The whole premise of fetishising people based on their ethnicity is quite racist.
They are all people within their own right, not a box for anyone to tick.
Surly by that logic... it should apply to size, hair colour , nationality, age , body type , book size and on and on and on ?
The key word was fetishising. Many people find being fetishised for a particular characteristic repugnant. Obviously not all are about race and ergo are not racist.
What I'm getting from this is if I say I want sex with black people its ok
If I say I want sex with only black people its racist???
"
Suppose you do actually only want sex with black people, can you tell me why that might be?
More generally, what's different about sex with a person of another race?
There are all sorts of reasons to be attracted to someone, and finding them exotic is perfectly legitimate.
But saying you'd love to have sex with a black person, like it's somehow radically different, and just so you'd have that box ticked - that is rooted in racism. |
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"The whole premise of fetishising people based on their ethnicity is quite racist.
They are all people within their own right, not a box for anyone to tick.
Surly by that logic... it should apply to size, hair colour , nationality, age , body type , book size and on and on and on ?
The key word was fetishising. Many people find being fetishised for a particular characteristic repugnant. Obviously not all are about race and ergo are not racist.
What I'm getting from this is if I say I want sex with black people its ok
If I say I want sex with only black people its racist???
Suppose you do actually only want sex with black people, can you tell me why that might be?
More generally, what's different about sex with a person of another race?
There are all sorts of reasons to be attracted to someone, and finding them exotic is perfectly legitimate.
But saying you'd love to have sex with a black person, like it's somehow radically different, and just so you'd have that box ticked - that is rooted in racism."
It would strike me that the only thing racist in the sentence " i want to have sex with black people " is in the perception from those interpreting it through their own filters?
I don't agree that anyone can ascertain someone is racist for wanting this . If they do apply that assumption, its from their own beliefs no ? |
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"
It would strike me that the only thing racist in the sentence " i want to have sex with black people " is in the perception from those interpreting it through their own filters?
I don't agree that anyone can ascertain someone is racist for wanting this . If they do apply that assumption, its from their own beliefs no ? "
Do you not think seeking someone out because of their race is fetishising?
I said rooted in racism because it isn't overt.
It might not be harmful in and of itself, but it contributes to the notion that they are "others". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Here's the thing. It matters not what your intent is really. It's how it's perceived by the person on the receiving end. It's context. It's sustained. It's a million other things, subtle and not so. It is rarely a snapshot.
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Oh Gosh, is that thread still going ?
.
Okay, please allow me to add a little humble insight from a coloured human being (that is myself) since I am one of this group of humans who might be impacted by this discussion and the various possible perceptions it might lead to.
.
It is NOT in any way a form of racism to use linguistic terminologies or adjectives like (black, brown, white, coloured...etc) to describe or identify a human being with a factual characteristic of their physical features.
This is exactly what it is, just use of language to communicate information.
.
What worries me more are things like: denying me a job I am most qualified for and giving it to a less qualified local individual(s) because they went to school with the hiring manager or they played hurling on the same team or they drink together at the same local or they are friends or family members... etc.
Or when someone blocks me all together as a human being and firmly refuses to interact with me at a human-to-human level because I look or sound different or because I have a different heritage(s).
.
And just to be clear, since this discussion has arisen within a fab context, it is very different story when someone not wanting to play because I am not within their personal preferences, But we still interact socially and courteously as humans with the same red blood running through our veins.
This is absolutely Fine and there in NOthing wrong or sinister or malice about that.
.
Racism is a mindset, intentions and actions. But it most definitely is NOT the use of words.
.
Love and peace to all and sorry for the long response. |
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"
It would strike me that the only thing racist in the sentence " i want to have sex with black people " is in the perception from those interpreting it through their own filters?
I don't agree that anyone can ascertain someone is racist for wanting this . If they do apply that assumption, its from their own beliefs no ?
Do you not think seeking someone out because of their race is fetishising?
I said rooted in racism because it isn't overt.
It might not be harmful in and of itself, but it contributes to the notion that they are "others"."
I honestly don't see it as fetishing (i must admit I don't fully understand the meaning) only the person seeking it knows their motivation.
Seeking to have sex with people different than ourselfs , weather by colour or other factor isn't racist unless racially motivated. |
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"Here's the thing. It matters not what your intent is really. It's how it's perceived by the person on the receiving end. It's context. It's sustained. It's a million other things, subtle and not so. It is rarely a snapshot.
"
I would disagree. We are not responsible for the perception of others. Perception is made up of soulmatings outside of what you might say or do including your childhood your own morals and beliefs incidents that have happened you true life to shape your perceptions. We cannot be responsible for somebody else's perceptions having not lived their life. Misinterpretation Is mainly on the part of the person interpretand is usually due to not seeking clarification and working off assumptions are on inner views.no? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Here's the thing. It matters not what your intent is really. It's how it's perceived by the person on the receiving end. It's context. It's sustained. It's a million other things, subtle and not so. It is rarely a snapshot.
I would disagree. We are not responsible for the perception of others. Perception is made up of soulmatings outside of what you might say or do including your childhood your own morals and beliefs incidents that have happened you true life to shape your perceptions. We cannot be responsible for somebody else's perceptions having not lived their life. Misinterpretation Is mainly on the part of the person interpretand is usually due to not seeking clarification and working off assumptions are on inner views.no?"
Quite the contrary. The perception of the individual is paramount. You can't treat people unfavourably or differently and then claim it's their fault because you didn't mean any harm by it. It's literally why the protected characteristics exist
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jesus christ people will ye all just calm down
It does be brilliant though, And all getting very serious lol “Mansplaining” even comes into it apparently
God help her Mr "
I can assure you he's absolutely fine but I'm sure he'll appreciate your concern |
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"Here's the thing. It matters not what your intent is really. It's how it's perceived by the person on the receiving end. It's context. It's sustained. It's a million other things, subtle and not so. It is rarely a snapshot.
I would disagree. We are not responsible for the perception of others. Perception is made up of soulmatings outside of what you might say or do including your childhood your own morals and beliefs incidents that have happened you true life to shape your perceptions. We cannot be responsible for somebody else's perceptions having not lived their life. Misinterpretation Is mainly on the part of the person interpretand is usually due to not seeking clarification and working off assumptions are on inner views.no?"
Is that not the same as offering a hollow apology by saying "I'm sorry you feel that way"?
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"Here's the thing. It matters not what your intent is really. It's how it's perceived by the person on the receiving end. It's context. It's sustained. It's a million other things, subtle and not so. It is rarely a snapshot.
I would disagree. We are not responsible for the perception of others. Perception is made up of soulmatings outside of what you might say or do including your childhood your own morals and beliefs incidents that have happened you true life to shape your perceptions. We cannot be responsible for somebody else's perceptions having not lived their life. Misinterpretation Is mainly on the part of the person interpretand is usually due to not seeking clarification and working off assumptions are on inner views.no?
Quite the contrary. The perception of the individual is paramount. You can't treat people unfavourably or differently and then claim it's their fault because you didn't mean any harm by it. It's literally why the protected characteristics exist
" How you treat somebody is wildly different from the motives you might have behind Your choices are preferences Your choices are preferences. How you treat somebody is not subject to perception as it is a factual action. We are talking about the motives behind people's preferences and how if they're Perceived negatively would have no negative or positive connotations then that solely down to the person perceiving them and how they choose to see the world. How can a persons preference be responsible for that? |
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"Here's the thing. It matters not what your intent is really. It's how it's perceived by the person on the receiving end. It's context. It's sustained. It's a million other things, subtle and not so. It is rarely a snapshot.
I would disagree. We are not responsible for the perception of others. Perception is made up of soulmatings outside of what you might say or do including your childhood your own morals and beliefs incidents that have happened you true life to shape your perceptions. We cannot be responsible for somebody else's perceptions having not lived their life. Misinterpretation Is mainly on the part of the person interpretand is usually due to not seeking clarification and working off assumptions are on inner views.no?
Is that not the same as offering a hollow apology by saying "I'm sorry you feel that way"?
"
That's not what I would consider a hollow apology. Feelings are connected to how you perceive the world and how you have grown up things that have shaped you. The actions of others are catalysts to stimulating these feelings inside you. There's no getting away from the fact that they emanate from inside. Therefore somebody saying they are sorry you feel that way is genuine because they know that you feel that way due to many circumstances not solely as a result of their actions. |
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"Here's the thing. It matters not what your intent is really. It's how it's perceived by the person on the receiving end. It's context. It's sustained. It's a million other things, subtle and not so. It is rarely a snapshot.
I would disagree. We are not responsible for the perception of others. Perception is made up of soulmatings outside of what you might say or do including your childhood your own morals and beliefs incidents that have happened you true life to shape your perceptions. We cannot be responsible for somebody else's perceptions having not lived their life. Misinterpretation Is mainly on the part of the person interpretand is usually due to not seeking clarification and working off assumptions are on inner views.no?
Is that not the same as offering a hollow apology by saying "I'm sorry you feel that way"?
That's not what I would consider a hollow apology. Feelings are connected to how you perceive the world and how you have grown up things that have shaped you. The actions of others are catalysts to stimulating these feelings inside you. There's no getting away from the fact that they emanate from inside. Therefore somebody saying they are sorry you feel that way is genuine because they know that you feel that way due to many circumstances not solely as a result of their actions."
Any apology that doesn't acknowledge your own part in their distress is hollow.
It's just another way of saying this is my opinion so suck it up. |
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By *iscuits8Man
over a year ago
Meath / Dublin / Birmingham |
"Quite the contrary. The perception of the individual is paramount. You can't treat people unfavourably or differently and then claim it's their fault because you didn't mean any harm by it. It's literally why the protected characteristics exist"
You're wasting your time unfortunately BH.
I'd assume by the same logic that some people are arguing here, it's alright to go up and call someone a n****r to their face... and if they find it offensive, you can just say woops, I don't think it's really a derogatory word myself but sorry if you think so!
Mad suggestion but maybe people coulf just... be sound and don't use particular terms if they can cause hurt to people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's not an inherently bad idea to say the onus is on the speaker not to offend rather than on the listener to manage their expectations and emotions.
But no single person can go through life under the expectation that they will never ever feel offended or disagree with a person, point or view. The arrogance and entitlement of that is staggering.
Sadly, as has happened with Human Rights bills and issues, the free-speech police and agitators have hijacked and re-purposed a well-intentioned effort to make people accountable.
They have weaponised it to control and dictate permitted behaviours according to what is their order of the day and what's in good favor on the day.
Yes of course people are offensive, both deliberately and through innocent ignorance or lack of awareness or more. Racism and unacceptable behaviours should be challenged 100%. And if the agenda was used for good that'd be awesome.
But the majority who behave with respect and mutual acceptance and don't offend are held to ransom and intimidated in to silence as a social power play.
Sad times |
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The biggest problem these days is that many people are quick to either be offended on behalf of others or feel they have to be apologists for others.
Those who we assume should be offended often take no offence at all while others get their knickers in a twist over something that isn't even aimed at them.
I have opinions which are my actual opinions and haven't been cherry picked because they are fashionable but I never use them as a big stick to beat people with.
Lots of people and situations offend me but more often than not it's because they are so intransigent and don't give a fuck what anyone else thinks and I reserve the right to place the blame for that offence on them rather than my own need to be offended. |
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"The biggest problem these days is that many people are quick to either be offended on behalf of others or feel they have to be apologists for others.
Those who we assume should be offended often take no offence at all while others get their knickers in a twist over something that isn't even aimed at them.
I have opinions which are my actual opinions and haven't been cherry picked because they are fashionable but I never use them as a big stick to beat people with.
Lots of people and situations offend me but more often than not it's because they are so intransigent and don't give a fuck what anyone else thinks and I reserve the right to place the blame for that offence on them rather than my own need to be offended. " |
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By *in_ToncMan
over a year ago
London/Dublin |
"Jesus christ people will ye all just calm down
It does be brilliant though, And all getting very serious lol “Mansplaining” even comes into it apparently
God help her Mr
I can assure you he's absolutely fine but I'm sure he'll appreciate your concern "
You ok hun? |
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I think like for like is not being compared here .
To offend someone on purpose in on the offender .
I offended someone through ignorance is on the offender .
To be offended as a result of applying your own interpretation or meaning to someone else's words with out clarification is on the offended.
When i say Noone is responsible for my feelings, at most they are the catalyst I mean .
Feelings are are result of needs .
So someone tells me I'm useless.
I feel hurt.
I feel hurt because I have an internal need to feel useful and valued. If I didn't have that need my feelings would be different even though the person had said the same thing.
Thus the feelings are generated in me not made by the person who said I'm useless.
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By *asual777Man
over a year ago
i travel all over |
There is a big difference between stating that something is intentionally discriminatory or offensive , and stating that a term is outdated.
If the OP had used the N word , there would be less of a debate . I would argue that coloured whilst not as problematic , is fairly so . I have quoted the reasons for this .
This is not about being a snowflake , or woke , or whatever the culture wars terminology makes us things others are . It is about not using a term which people stopped using several decades ago because it implied difference rather than giving an accurate description of one’s race .
I wish the OP every luck in his quest. On a separate note , tolerance and demanding tolerance of potentially problematic terminology on here is the same as using it in my view . |
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"There is a big difference between stating that something is intentionally discriminatory or offensive , and stating that a term is outdated.
If the OP had used the N word , there would be less of a debate . I would argue that coloured whilst not as problematic , is fairly so . I have quoted the reasons for this .
This is not about being a snowflake , or woke , or whatever the culture wars terminology makes us things others are . It is about not using a term which people stopped using several decades ago because it implied difference rather than giving an accurate description of one’s race .
I wish the OP every luck in his quest. On a separate note , tolerance and demanding tolerance of potentially problematic terminology on here is the same as using it in my view . "
I'd agree colored can be problematic. Interesting in I think 2020 a survey done with black Americans and Hispanics found that 50% preferred black over African American, 50% didn't mind which. The same with Hispanics and the word Latino.
Again 50% didn't mind .
Maybe one of the biggest issues is that we white people think we know what is and isn't correct or offensive... when really its not our place to say ... |
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"Oh Gosh, is that thread still going ?
.
Okay, please allow me to add a little humble insight from a coloured human being (that is myself) since I am one of this group of humans who might be impacted by this discussion and the various possible perceptions it might lead to.
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It is NOT in any way a form of racism to use linguistic terminologies or adjectives like (black, brown, white, coloured...etc) to describe or identify a human being with a factual characteristic of their physical features.
This is exactly what it is, just use of language to communicate information.
.
What worries me more are things like: denying me a job I am most qualified for and giving it to a less qualified local individual(s) because they went to school with the hiring manager or they played hurling on the same team or they drink together at the same local or they are friends or family members... etc.
Or when someone blocks me all together as a human being and firmly refuses to interact with me at a human-to-human level because I look or sound different or because I have a different heritage(s).
.
And just to be clear, since this discussion has arisen within a fab context, it is very different story when someone not wanting to play because I am not within their personal preferences, But we still interact socially and courteously as humans with the same red blood running through our veins.
This is absolutely Fine and there in NOthing wrong or sinister or malice about that.
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Racism is a mindset, intentions and actions. But it most definitely is NOT the use of words.
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Love and peace to all and sorry for the long response. "
I missed this .... well put bud . |
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By *asual777Man
over a year ago
i travel all over |
"There is a big difference between stating that something is intentionally discriminatory or offensive , and stating that a term is outdated.
If the OP had used the N word , there would be less of a debate . I would argue that coloured whilst not as problematic , is fairly so . I have quoted the reasons for this .
This is not about being a snowflake , or woke , or whatever the culture wars terminology makes us things others are . It is about not using a term which people stopped using several decades ago because it implied difference rather than giving an accurate description of one’s race .
I wish the OP every luck in his quest. On a separate note , tolerance and demanding tolerance of potentially problematic terminology on here is the same as using it in my view .
I'd agree colored can be problematic. Interesting in I think 2020 a survey done with black Americans and Hispanics found that 50% preferred black over African American, 50% didn't mind which. The same with Hispanics and the word Latino.
Again 50% didn't mind .
Maybe one of the biggest issues is that we white people think we know what is and isn't correct or offensive... when really its not our place to say ... "
Coloured and the N word are beyond this . They’re erased as acceptable words really . It’s like having a debate about whether spastic is an acceptable term . You don’t have to have cerebral palsy to answer that . |
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