You keep me in the dark, like a mushroom, squashed up in a bag, and then at a moment's notice you expect me to blossom like a stinkhorn; and push me into another dark wet place.

Is it any wonder I can't always comply with your instructions!

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By *adger BrocMan over a year ago

Co. Cork

I'm dying for a cuppa tea or coffee.

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By *hydubcplCouple over a year ago

Dublin

“I’m a talking cock, get me on stage and we’ll split the profits 50:50”

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By *elfastDMan over a year ago

belfast

Why do you insist on closing me into these tight boxers

I prefer it when you let me out to play

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By *asual777 OP Man over a year ago

i travel all over

Some of you have given this a lot of thought

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By *dfabMan over a year ago

Dunboyne

Am I ever gonna see a nice juicy pussy again??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Am I ever gonna see a nice juicy pussy again??

Aww really

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By *nickers pants guyMan over a year ago

Cork killkenny laois Limerick Offaly kildare carlow Dublin Waterford and everywhere else

Mine would say let's create more organisms in 2023

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By *dfabMan over a year ago

Dunboyne

"Am I ever gonna see a nice juicy pussy again??

Aww really "

2022 was a very dry year

I'm hoping it was just the global warming but I fear not

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By *ot neuteredMan over a year ago

Kildare

Dip me in beans,not that type, I meant Human Beings

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By *entleman PoliteMan over a year ago

Mars

They will tell me they want to see her again.

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By *avey444Man over a year ago

abbeyleix

Would you ever leave me alone

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Legs would you please stop sticking to me

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By *astelloWoman over a year ago

Far far away

Need some Mr Sheen for dusting off the cobwebs.

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By *s979Man over a year ago

same

"Love hanging around waiting for the call to stand again "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Her,her, her, her, her , her , her, her, her,her, her....

All whist pointing like an over excited puppy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm bored!!!

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By *southguyMan over a year ago

D18

"From the lounge

What would your genitals say if they could talk ? "

"omg i've reicarnated as a sentient penis"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"From the lounge

What would your genitals say if they could talk ?

"omg i've reicarnated as a sentient penis""

Well hello dolly

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By *ulu00Woman over a year ago

Donegal

Swear to god theres bats roosting in your cervix

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Swear to god theres bats roosting in your cervix

Girl I know need help too get them out when your ready lol

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By *aptain Caveman41Man over a year ago

Home

Use us for what we were designed for instead of practicing on your own

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

All of those folk smoking cigarettes with their vaginas would be feeling very proud of themselves, being ahead of the curve....

Mine might say 'You know how to whistle, don't you?'

Too random?

How's about....

'Closer, closer, left a bit, up, up, down, left a bit more, BINGO.... tally hoe ole chap'

Apparently my fandango is posh

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By *dfabMan over a year ago

Dunboyne

"All of those folk smoking cigarettes with their vaginas would be feeling very proud of themselves, being ahead of the curve....

Mine might say 'You know how to whistle, don't you?'

Too random?

How's about....

'Closer, closer, left a bit, up, up, down, left a bit more, BINGO.... tally hoe ole chap'

Apparently my fandango is posh

Not random, put your lips together and blow

I'll keep to the left then

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Suck just a lil bit, lick just a lil bit, swirl just a lil bit swirl some more, a song comes to mind but I dunno

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By *ollypop9Woman over a year ago

wouldn't you like to know

"Her,her, her, her, her , her , her, her, her,her, her....

All whist pointing like an over excited puppy"

Him, him, him, him, him, him, him, him,him, him, him....

All whilst clapping like an overexcited seal.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hello, hello, hello I'm down here , hello. All by myself, don't wanna be, all by myself, anymore"

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By *asual777 OP Man over a year ago

i travel all over

""Hello, hello, hello I'm down here , hello. All by myself, don't wanna be, all by myself, anymore" "

Why is Celine Dione in your underwear ?

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By *aucyladMan over a year ago

Dublin

Give me a day off please.

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By * la carteCouple over a year ago

Dublin

"Give me a day off please."

Seem to be the only one

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By *aucyladMan over a year ago

Dublin

"Give me a day off please.

Seem to be the only one

Absence makes the heart grow fonder...and the cock grow harder.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

""Hello, hello, hello I'm down here , hello. All by myself, don't wanna be, all by myself, anymore"

Why is Celine Dione in your underwear ? "

At least someone is

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/12/22 11:36:27]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Please leave me alone

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By *ot neuteredMan over a year ago

Kildare

I'm not, or never will be a Helicopter rotar blade

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By *he zephyrCouple over a year ago

The Sol

Singing like a choir of angels

Hallelujah

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By *LIVEANDKICKING100Man over a year ago

DUBLIN

It's just gone dark again!

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By *B 4099Man over a year ago

North West, Outer Letterkenny area

I feel alone though I'm with two bollocks and an arsehole.

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By *ouble Trouble 1000Couple over a year ago

ireland

Been there ,done that and got the Tshirt !

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