FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > It's ok not to be ok
It's ok not to be ok
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I have been there myself. When life seems bleak and empty, when you can't see a way forward, when you feel you have no options...there's always help, there's always time and there ALWAYS are options  . Please reach out to family, friends, medical professionals, Samaritans... | |||
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"I'm sure this has been done several times over, but I don't think it can be pointed out enough. It crept up on me last week, between one thing and another by the end of the week I felt like screaming at someone but actually had the energy of a sloth. Since then, I've spend any free time I've had hiding away in my room, overthinking and watching Netflix to occupy the mind. Yes, I know, go for a walk, clears the head, try your hobbies, meet friends.... But sometimes, there is just no drive. I know I'm over the worst, as the crying has stopped. I also know that others suffer far worse and more frequent. But I thought I put it here, for anyone who would like to add that they sometimes feel it too and for others who thought it's just them who feel like that, so they can read about it. I'd like to add that I used to think of my kids and that helped me through, but now I also have my lovely fab friends and planned fab adventures, which are a goal to work towards....thank you x Also, if you do feel like this there is no shame and please speak to a GP to maybe get some help. Lollyx"
Be gentle & kind to yourself darling. | |||
Sending and apologies for the loooong comment.
When you find your baseline, you'll know it and you will steady and things will ease x | |||
"This is my daily, my 'good morning! I choose happy', my battle, my victory. Biggest challenge to mental health is seeing it for what it is. It's you depleted. And it doesn't happen overnight but the wall you hit very much will. Learning your triggers, learning your limits and respecting them whether they are emotional, physical or medical.... these are keys. These are your tools and your control. If you need to, then get practical support... if you need a short or long course of medication to lift your system whilst it finds it's equilibrium again get to your GP... if you need to process emotional or psychological issues, lean on family or friends or open sessions or counselling... do it, do it all until you find all your triggers and decode them. Biggest, scariest of all... don't deny it or squash it or ignore it or minimise it or exaggerate it or make it your identity or wallow in it or anything really other than face it down and wipe the floor with it. Just look it in the eye and say hello, because it's you. It's your head and heart and history all bubbling over and it's inescapable. So feel it, think it, process it, pick it apart, and put it back together. A MASSIVE tool in your tool box is placing responsibility where it truly belongs... spoiler, it's not always all you and it's not always the big bad world or the people in it. It'll be a little bit of this and a little bit of that. Taking ownership of what only you can affect is empowering. Setting down what isn't yours to carry.... feels fucking amazing! Wanting, with an unmatched determination, to avoid the mental quicksand that you can get sucked down in to... Saying, never again and meaning it. Self-care, every day, every week. Choosing happiness, every day, every week. I will never again allow things beyond me, myself to dictate or affect me, myself. You are your own captain.... you have to steer your ship to safe harbour every day
Sending and apologies for the loooong comment.
When you find your baseline, you'll know it and you will steady and things will ease x" | |||
"This is my daily, my 'good morning! I choose happy', my battle, my victory. Biggest challenge to mental health is seeing it for what it is. It's you depleted. And it doesn't happen overnight but the wall you hit very much will. Learning your triggers, learning your limits and respecting them whether they are emotional, physical or medical.... these are keys. These are your tools and your control. If you need to, then get practical support... if you need a short or long course of medication to lift your system whilst it finds it's equilibrium again get to your GP... if you need to process emotional or psychological issues, lean on family or friends or open sessions or counselling... do it, do it all until you find all your triggers and decode them. Biggest, scariest of all... don't deny it or squash it or ignore it or minimise it or exaggerate it or make it your identity or wallow in it or anything really other than face it down and wipe the floor with it. Just look it in the eye and say hello, because it's you. It's your head and heart and history all bubbling over and it's inescapable. So feel it, think it, process it, pick it apart, and put it back together. A MASSIVE tool in your tool box is placing responsibility where it truly belongs... spoiler, it's not always all you and it's not always the big bad world or the people in it. It'll be a little bit of this and a little bit of that. Taking ownership of what only you can affect is empowering. Setting down what isn't yours to carry.... feels fucking amazing! Wanting, with an unmatched determination, to avoid the mental quicksand that you can get sucked down in to... Saying, never again and meaning it. Self-care, every day, every week. Choosing happiness, every day, every week. I will never again allow things beyond me, myself to dictate or affect me, myself. You are your own captain.... you have to steer your ship to safe harbour every day
Sending and apologies for the loooong comment.
When you find your baseline, you'll know it and you will steady and things will ease x"This | |||
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"This is my daily, my 'good morning! I choose happy', my battle, my victory. Biggest challenge to mental health is seeing it for what it is. It's you depleted. And it doesn't happen overnight but the wall you hit very much will. Learning your triggers, learning your limits and respecting them whether they are emotional, physical or medical.... these are keys. These are your tools and your control. If you need to, then get practical support... if you need a short or long course of medication to lift your system whilst it finds it's equilibrium again get to your GP... if you need to process emotional or psychological issues, lean on family or friends or open sessions or counselling... do it, do it all until you find all your triggers and decode them. Biggest, scariest of all... don't deny it or squash it or ignore it or minimise it or exaggerate it or make it your identity or wallow in it or anything really other than face it down and wipe the floor with it. Just look it in the eye and say hello, because it's you. It's your head and heart and history all bubbling over and it's inescapable. So feel it, think it, process it, pick it apart, and put it back together. A MASSIVE tool in your tool box is placing responsibility where it truly belongs... spoiler, it's not always all you and it's not always the big bad world or the people in it. It'll be a little bit of this and a little bit of that. Taking ownership of what only you can affect is empowering. Setting down what isn't yours to carry.... feels fucking amazing! Wanting, with an unmatched determination, to avoid the mental quicksand that you can get sucked down in to... Saying, never again and meaning it. Self-care, every day, every week. Choosing happiness, every day, every week. I will never again allow things beyond me, myself to dictate or affect me, myself. You are your own captain.... you have to steer your ship to safe harbour every day
Sending and apologies for the loooong comment.
When you find your baseline, you'll know it and you will steady and things will ease x"Very well put together post well done you.mind yourself lolly good too hear your feeling better x L | |||
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"This is my daily, my 'good morning! I choose happy', my battle, my victory. Biggest challenge to mental health is seeing it for what it is. It's you depleted. And it doesn't happen overnight but the wall you hit very much will. Learning your triggers, learning your limits and respecting them whether they are emotional, physical or medical.... these are keys. These are your tools and your control. If you need to, then get practical support... if you need a short or long course of medication to lift your system whilst it finds it's equilibrium again get to your GP... if you need to process emotional or psychological issues, lean on family or friends or open sessions or counselling... do it, do it all until you find all your triggers and decode them. Biggest, scariest of all... don't deny it or squash it or ignore it or minimise it or exaggerate it or make it your identity or wallow in it or anything really other than face it down and wipe the floor with it. Just look it in the eye and say hello, because it's you. It's your head and heart and history all bubbling over and it's inescapable. So feel it, think it, process it, pick it apart, and put it back together. A MASSIVE tool in your tool box is placing responsibility where it truly belongs... spoiler, it's not always all you and it's not always the big bad world or the people in it. It'll be a little bit of this and a little bit of that. Taking ownership of what only you can affect is empowering. Setting down what isn't yours to carry.... feels fucking amazing! Wanting, with an unmatched determination, to avoid the mental quicksand that you can get sucked down in to... Saying, never again and meaning it. Self-care, every day, every week. Choosing happiness, every day, every week. I will never again allow things beyond me, myself to dictate or affect me, myself. You are your own captain.... you have to steer your ship to safe harbour every day
Sending and apologies for the loooong comment.
When you find your baseline, you'll know it and you will steady and things will ease x
"Some great advice there I'd add find at least one thing you love doing too where it's just you and it and you leave the world behind, I started doing colouring by numbers  and even tho it felt childish & almost silly to begin with it feels brilliant now, just me my pencils & that page for an hour or two every week helps massively to switch off, hope u get back to yourself soon OP n if you or anyone needs a non sexual chat bout stuff anytime feel free to dm | |||
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"Hardest step is saying you are struggling and honestly most people suffer and struggle with their mental health, we just need to be more open and less judgemental and sometimes just been there is enough. " This ^^ I simply don't understand why we feel we can't express our feelings to each other. We had an elderly neighbour whose wife had died and he was left on his own.. I still think of him sitting with us, repetitively apologizing for crying in front of us and explaining that he (as a man) shouldn't be openly displaying "weakness". My heart was breaking for him - he shouldn't have to feel that embarrassment on top of everything else he was going through. | |||
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"Hardest step is saying you are struggling and honestly most people suffer and struggle with their mental health, we just need to be more open and less judgemental and sometimes just been there is enough. This ^^ I simply don't understand why we feel we can't express our feelings to each other. We had an elderly neighbour whose wife had died and he was left on his own.. I still think of him sitting with us, repetitively apologizing for crying in front of us and explaining that he (as a man) shouldn't be openly displaying "weakness". My heart was breaking for him - he shouldn't have to feel that embarrassment on top of everything else he was going through." I don't think older people in general are used to opening up and sharing their feelings. They are used to just getting on with it! I live in a very rural area and notice it a lot and also see it in my job. Loneliness is a big issue among people married a long time and losing their partner who they have been with for most of their lives and they can't see how they go on and can become reclusive. He is lucky that he got chatting to you both and got the opportunity to open up. | |||
"Hardest step is saying you are struggling and honestly most people suffer and struggle with their mental health, we just need to be more open and less judgemental and sometimes just been there is enough. This ^^ I simply don't understand why we feel we can't express our feelings to each other. We had an elderly neighbour whose wife had died and he was left on his own.. I still think of him sitting with us, repetitively apologizing for crying in front of us and explaining that he (as a man) shouldn't be openly displaying "weakness". My heart was breaking for him - he shouldn't have to feel that embarrassment on top of everything else he was going through. I don't think older people in general are used to opening up and sharing their feelings. They are used to just getting on with it! I live in a very rural area and notice it a lot and also see it in my job. Loneliness is a big issue among people married a long time and losing their partner who they have been with for most of their lives and they can't see how they go on and can become reclusive. He is lucky that he got chatting to you both and got the opportunity to open up. "Loneliness is an issue I think in all ages, during covid their was lots of oh the old people alone etc but there are a lot of peopleslone not just elderly. As for opening up, it's hard to do when we have a society that tells us to cop on, or your told sure what have you to be depressed about, or there's people worse off than you. But people need to realise just because your issue isn't huge to anyone else to you it is and beem told its not important makes you feel you're not important, or your feelings aren't important, so what does the person do, stops talking, stops asking, because you feel like a burden and noone understands and noone cares. So way I see it just be kind you never know what someone is going through, that smile you give today, that text you may send, that phonecall you may make today could be the one that helps that person give life another day. | |||
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"Suffered with depression all throughout my early 20tys thought what was the point to life to living ,thought of how I had everything a beautiful daughter a family who loved me great friends but still felt the way I did . Eventually I went and spoke to someone and continue to see this lady anytime I feel the need too,it has been a long time since I've needed to go but that day,will come again at some point as I believe we all need to clear out the head now and again and it's nice to have a safe place to do that . Yes a walk helps yes healthy eating helps sleep etc.. but in that frame of mind none of those seem possible. I have not suffered since I was about 27, 35 now don't get me wrong I have days like that just not weeks and months and I know I have support and people to talk too now that would understand. Just know it does always get better ,no matter how bad it feels at that time ,always just remember there is always sunshine after the rain xx Lolly brilliant post and one very close to my heart lost a relative of mine from depression x x And wish she could have realized thing's always get better Sending all my love and support to you ???? " See you tomorrow for a massive hug xx | |||
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