FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Is this place real?
Is this place real?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Hello all. Bear with me. Im the most normal ordinary successful guy you could meet.
I'm divorced 8 years. I get on super with my ex. I say that to show Im not a creep!
Ive had a ball since meeting great women organically and on Tinder. I realised that Im not looking for a relationship but like any normal functioning adult Id still like some grown up fun with sane intelligent like minded people. So I was drawn here a couple of times.
But despite being patient and respectful and trying to be distinct from the idiots the interaction with some women and couples has been terrible, shallow and robotic. I say so with due respect. I dont want to come across as a dick. Im just making an observation for discussiin.
The fear of the fake accounts also adds to the suspicion.
So my question is how to stay here and trust that Im not wasting tome or being drawn in by bots to keep numbers up?. I appreciate you reading this long rant!!
Regards
Dan |
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"Hello all. Bear with me. Im the most normal ordinary successful guy you could meet.
I'm divorced 8 years. I get on super with my ex. I say that to show Im not a creep!
Ive had a ball since meeting great women organically and on Tinder. I realised that Im not looking for a relationship but like any normal functioning adult Id still like some grown up fun with sane intelligent like minded people. So I was drawn here a couple of times.
But despite being patient and respectful and trying to be distinct from the idiots the interaction with some women and couples has been terrible, shallow and robotic. I say so with due respect. I dont want to come across as a dick. Im just making an observation for discussiin.
The fear of the fake accounts also adds to the suspicion.
So my question is how to stay here and trust that Im not wasting tome or being drawn in by bots to keep numbers up?. I appreciate you reading this long rant!!
Regards
Dan"
All I can say is I feel your pain and welcome to Fab. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hello all. Bear with me. Im the most normal ordinary successful guy you could meet.
I'm divorced 8 years. I get on super with my ex. I say that to show Im not a creep!
Ive had a ball since meeting great women organically and on Tinder. I realised that Im not looking for a relationship but like any normal functioning adult Id still like some grown up fun with sane intelligent like minded people. So I was drawn here a couple of times.
But despite being patient and respectful and trying to be distinct from the idiots the interaction with some women and couples has been terrible, shallow and robotic. I say so with due respect. I dont want to come across as a dick. Im just making an observation for discussiin.
The fear of the fake accounts also adds to the suspicion.
So my question is how to stay here and trust that Im not wasting tome or being drawn in by bots to keep numbers up?. I appreciate you reading this long rant!!
Regards
Dan"
As the song says " welcome to the Jungle "  |
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"Hello all. Bear with me. Im the most normal ordinary successful guy you could meet.
I'm divorced 8 years. I get on super with my ex. I say that to show Im not a creep!
Ive had a ball since meeting great women organically and on Tinder. I realised that Im not looking for a relationship but like any normal functioning adult Id still like some grown up fun with sane intelligent like minded people. So I was drawn here a couple of times.
But despite being patient and respectful and trying to be distinct from the idiots the interaction with some women and couples has been terrible, shallow and robotic. I say so with due respect. I dont want to come across as a dick. Im just making an observation for discussiin.
The fear of the fake accounts also adds to the suspicion.
So my question is how to stay here and trust that Im not wasting tome or being drawn in by bots to keep numbers up?. I appreciate you reading this long rant!!
Regards
Dan"
'Tis real alright! Not the fake accounts, they are fake. The rest is real. Oh and apart from some of the pics which are stolen.
Ive never heard anyone complain of bots so thats a plus.
But I have heard MANY men complain about how tricky it is to get meets .. its par for the course OP |
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Based on this post alone op there are a few things that spring to mind that may be causing some of the issues you are experiencing.
You have said a number of times that you are a nice guy but you need to show that by your actions rather than words. If you need to tell people you are a nice guy it means you are projecting a different image.
You want to stand out from the idiots.
That's just a variation on a theme where a lot of men as a last resort will claim that they aren't like all the other guys but aren't able to back that up.
You say you have been patient. I've no idea how long you were here before but your current profile is only 3 months old and you have already resorted to writing this thread which doesn't bode well for your level of patience.
You have a fear of being drawn in by bots. What bots?
I've yet to see a single one in all the time I've been here. If you are repeatedly being caught out by fake accounts you may need to look at how you vet those you are chatting to and consider what the common denominator may be.
Effort, patience and consistency are the keywords.
A good variety of pics, a considered bio that shows your personality and doesn't require others to do all the hard work and have to ask you questions will reap rewards if you genuinely are patient. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
No its all make believe,
Get involved on the forums, if you can get to a social do it helps to get to know people.
Lose the noone has permission to use my pics etc that's never deterred anyone from using pics |
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"A little smack of arrogance and entitlement the way this (and the profile) is worded. You're not better than the other men on here. "
Sorry, but I don't get a hint of arrogance from OP's profile at all... and his post shows the frustration that most men may feel when they're up against the numbers game that is Fab.
OP, get yourself to a social, check out the thread where verified Fabbers kindly give their time to meet for a coffee without expectation.
And get involved in the forum's - show that you are who you say you are.
Welcome to Fab Mrs |
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By *1CorkCouple
over a year ago
Cork |
Hang on, the OP has all hallmarks of a bot - recently joined, scant pics, no veris, short bio. They are getting more sophisticated!
On a serious note, it’s tough for men, we get that, but we believe that there is sometimes an under-appreciation by men on here as to the risks couples and women take if meeting single men, and the sheer number imbalance they are up against. Men have to go the extra mile to stand out.
If OP is as successful in life as he asserts, we’re confident he will figure out a strategy of what going the extra mile to be successful on here will entail. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" is this place real?"
Or
"Is this place just fantasy?
Caught in a landside,
No escape from reality
Open your eyes,
Look up to the skies and see"
 
Good luck OP  |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
" is this place real?
Or
"Is this place just fantasy?
Caught in a landside,
No escape from reality
Open your eyes,
Look up to the skies and see"
Good luck OP "
Ffs....be singing that all day now |
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By *XlalaXXWoman
over a year ago
tipperary |
" is this place real?
Or
"Is this place just fantasy?
Caught in a landside,
No escape from reality
Open your eyes,
Look up to the skies and see"
Good luck OP
Ffs....be singing that all day now "
Easy cum easy go |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Here on and off years and never came across a bot, drop your expectations and remember this isn’t a hook up site but more a social media for swingers, for people to chat, share pics and maybe make connections  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" is this place real?
Or
"Is this place just fantasy?
Caught in a landside,
No escape from reality
Open your eyes,
Look up to the skies and see"
Good luck OP
Ffs....be singing that all day now
Easy cum easy go "
"I'm just a poor boy... nobody loves me..."  |
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Personal opinion here.
People starting out by telling me they're successful turn me off right away. We're all successful in one way or another and I don't care whether someone is financially well off or not.
The blurb at the end of the profile about not giving permission for your pics to be used, stolen, etc, also turns me off people... For one, if you did give permission then it wouldn't be stealing but why would anyone think that that statement could possibly protect them?  |
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" is this place real?
Or
"Is this place just fantasy?
Caught in a landside,
No escape from reality
Open your eyes,
Look up to the skies and see"
Good luck OP
Ffs....be singing that all day now
Easy cum easy go
"I'm just a poor boy... nobody loves me..." "
Did any of your family have any money at all? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" is this place real?
Or
"Is this place just fantasy?
Caught in a landside,
No escape from reality
Open your eyes,
Look up to the skies and see"
Good luck OP
Ffs....be singing that all day now
Easy cum easy go
"I'm just a poor boy... nobody loves me..."
Did any of your family have any money at all? "
No  , really sad story 
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me.....
for me.....
For meeeeeeeeeee |
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
I'd say a m&g is your best chance to get you of the ground. Once you cracked the clique you'll be flying.
There's bit of ageism here on fab, once you're above 45 your fab life is just getting bit more difficult. However I noticed the same rules don't apply at socials, ie nobody will ask you for your age before deciding if they talk to you or not.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
There's bit of ageism here on fab, once you're above 45 your fab life is just getting bit more difficult."
I didn't realise this 
Mind if I ask; is it more difficult to meet on here at 45+ or you find that not many people are looking for people 45+ as much? Trying to understand what the difficult part may be..
Just wondering as i'm not a million miles from that cutoff point myself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
For some reason, this thread has me thinking of Dream Weaver...
Alas, I digress. OP. This place is essentially what you want it to be.
If you don't mind holding out, you'll have some great meets. Some will be shit. That's the nature of it.
As for standing out... Just try to be as much of yourself as you can be. Don't make bold claims you can't back up; don't commit yourself to anything unless you feel comfortable. If you want to go to some of the socials, by all means do so. Personally, they're not really my cup of tea, but I'd not discourage anyone from attending them.
And, one thing I've learned is... Don't complain and moan. It sends out an attitude that's only going to attract other moaners and whingers.
If you're not feeling a connection with someone, you're under no obligation to stay in communication. You don't owe anyone on here anything, and they don't owe you either.
Oh yeah, try and avoid the dick pics. Unless you're specifically asked for one (or 12) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
What did you actually expect when you came on fab?
What is your measure of success?
A shag a week? Two?
It's disposable sex for many, with some meeting more frequently than others, but that doesn't mean everyone on fab is available and obliged to sex it up with anyone who knows the secret handshake....
Like someone said, it's a social platform for likeminded folk to find eachother. Not a 'McSex takeaway&delivery'.
A change in perspective would be your first step here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What did you actually expect when you came on fab?
What is your measure of success?
A shag a week? Two?
It's disposable sex for many, with some meeting more frequently than others, but that doesn't mean everyone on fab is available and obliged to sex it up with anyone who knows the secret handshake....
Like someone said, it's a social platform for likeminded folk to find eachother. Not a 'McSex takeaway&delivery'.
A change in perspective would be your first step here."
"Your McSexy delivery has his dick stuck in the letterbox.... Don't forget to tip your driver" |
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"A little smack of arrogance and entitlement the way this (and the profile) is worded. You're not better than the other men on here.
Sorry, but I don't get a hint of arrogance from OP's profile at all... and his post shows the frustration that most men may feel when they're up against the numbers game that is Fab.
OP, get yourself to a social, check out the thread where verified Fabbers kindly give their time to meet for a coffee without expectation.
And get involved in the forum's - show that you are who you say you are.
Welcome to Fab Mrs "
Agreed ... and well put |
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As said above ... and it comes as a shock to most... fab isn't a hookup site .. its a social pedestal for many .. look at the people your interested in and check their vers... rule out the many that last had a meet ages ago and fill their page with social meets That will help you not waste your time with people who are on here to chat only .. if thats what your looking for |
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Messaging is so overrated!
For now focus on:
- getting your profile to stand out
- get yourself to the many, many events happening in Dublin. With the price of hotels there, many country people can't get to them at the moment. You're lucky.
- chat on the Irish forum, show your personality.
- have lots of patience, lots!
That's the formula  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What did you actually expect when you came on fab?
What is your measure of success?
A shag a week? Two?
It's disposable sex for many, with some meeting more frequently than others, but that doesn't mean everyone on fab is available and obliged to sex it up with anyone who knows the secret handshake....
Like someone said, it's a social platform for likeminded folk to find eachother. Not a 'McSex takeaway&delivery'.
A change in perspective would be your first step here.
"Your McSexy delivery has his dick stuck in the letterbox.... Don't forget to tip your driver""
Well my first tip would be not to put his dick in a letter box.... my dog likes to bite things from it |
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
"
There's bit of ageism here on fab, once you're above 45 your fab life is just getting bit more difficult.
I didn't realise this
Mind if I ask; is it more difficult to meet on here at 45+ or you find that not many people are looking for people 45+ as much? Trying to understand what the difficult part may be..
Just wondering as i'm not a million miles from that cutoff point myself "
Many many fabbers have a cut off age of 45 on their profile. Which means once you're over 45 your chances are reduced quite remarkably as your pool of possible meet partners shrinks. The age filters won't allow you to contact them.
Now just to clarify that applies to men only. If you're a woman - no matter how old and dried out of a bisquit you are - you still have plenty of choice and opportunities. |
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"
There's bit of ageism here on fab, once you're above 45 your fab life is just getting bit more difficult.
I didn't realise this
Mind if I ask; is it more difficult to meet on here at 45+ or you find that not many people are looking for people 45+ as much? Trying to understand what the difficult part may be..
Just wondering as i'm not a million miles from that cutoff point myself
Many many fabbers have a cut off age of 45 on their profile. Which means once you're over 45 your chances are reduced quite remarkably as your pool of possible meet partners shrinks. The age filters won't allow you to contact them.
Now just to clarify that applies to men only. If you're a woman - no matter how old and dried out of a bisquit you are - you still have plenty of choice and opportunities. "
Beautiful imagery |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As said above ... and it comes as a shock to most... fab isn't a hookup site .. its a social pedestal for many .. look at the people your interested in and check their vers... rule out the many that last had a meet ages ago and fill their page with social meets That will help you not waste your time with people who are on here to chat only .. if thats what your looking for "
Oh that explains a lot no wonder I can't get the ride as all my veris are from socials |
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"As said above ... and it comes as a shock to most... fab isn't a hookup site .. its a social pedestal for many .. look at the people your interested in and check their vers... rule out the many that last had a meet ages ago and fill their page with social meets That will help you not waste your time with people who are on here to chat only .. if thats what your looking for "
...and maybe then take note of the fact that many people don't seek verifications at all after the first one or two. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Make sense now you explain it from age filters and a man only thing
"
If you're a woman - no matter how old and dried out of a bisquit you are - you still have plenty of choice and opportunities. "
Must update my profile to a more old dried out bisquit friendly one so |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Make sense now you explain it from age filters and a man only thing
If you're a woman - no matter how old and dried out of a bisquit you are - you still have plenty of choice and opportunities.
Must update my profile to a more old dried out bisquit friendly one so "
You should say you operate a park&ride system and click&collect you never know lol
L |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Must update my profile to a more old dried out bisquit friendly one so
"
"
You should say you operate a park&ride system and click&collect you never know lol
L"
You maybe onto something there
Could be my little niche market on Fab
Loyalty cards are another way to entice back repeat visits also..
park&ride followed by click&collect followed by cum&go followed by a stamp on the loyalty card.
Fill the card and get rewards..who doesn't get suckered into that type of marketing shit.
You are a genius |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Must update my profile to a more old dried out bisquit friendly one so
You should say you operate a park&ride system and click&collect you never know lol
L
You maybe onto something there
Could be my little niche market on Fab
Loyalty cards are another way to entice back repeat visits also..
park&ride followed by click&collect followed by cum&go followed by a stamp on the loyalty card.
Fill the card and get rewards..who doesn't get suckered into that type of marketing shit.
You are a genius "
Lmao |
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"As said above ... and it comes as a shock to most... fab isn't a hookup site .. its a social pedestal for many .. look at the people your interested in and check their vers... rule out the many that last had a meet ages ago and fill their page with social meets That will help you not waste your time with people who are on here to chat only .. if thats what your looking for
Oh that explains a lot no wonder I can't get the ride as all my veris are from socials "
Ah I'm sure you can ... just try harder |
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"As said above ... and it comes as a shock to most... fab isn't a hookup site .. its a social pedestal for many .. look at the people your interested in and check their vers... rule out the many that last had a meet ages ago and fill their page with social meets That will help you not waste your time with people who are on here to chat only .. if thats what your looking for
...and maybe then take note of the fact that many people don't seek verifications at all after the first one or two. "
Umhmm |
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"Is this the real life?
Or is it just fantasy…….
Lmao .... oh you just replied to first post didn't ya
Still funny second time though "
Damn it, didn’t see that
And I had so much more to add… I didn’t even get to the chorus  |
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"Is this the real life?
Or is it just fantasy…….
Lmao .... oh you just replied to first post didn't ya
Still funny second time though
Damn it, didn’t see that
And I had so much more to add… I didn’t even get to the chorus "
Proper lol |
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"Hello all. Bear with me. Im the most normal ordinary successful guy you could meet.
I'm divorced 8 years. I get on super with my ex. I say that to show Im not a creep!
Ive had a ball since meeting great women organically and on Tinder. I realised that Im not looking for a relationship but like any normal functioning adult Id still like some grown up fun with sane intelligent like minded people. So I was drawn here a couple of times.
But despite being patient and respectful and trying to be distinct from the idiots the interaction with some women and couples has been terrible, shallow and robotic. I say so with due respect. I dont want to come across as a dick. Im just making an observation for discussiin.
The fear of the fake accounts also adds to the suspicion.
So my question is how to stay here and trust that Im not wasting tome or being drawn in by bots to keep numbers up?. I appreciate you reading this long rant!!
Regards
Dan"
Drop me a pm, I'm happy to give you some advice and tips. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hello all. Bear with me. Im the most normal ordinary successful guy you could meet.
I'm divorced 8 years. I get on super with my ex. I say that to show Im not a creep!
Ive had a ball since meeting great women organically and on Tinder. I realised that Im not looking for a relationship but like any normal functioning adult Id still like some grown up fun with sane intelligent like minded people. So I was drawn here a couple of times.
But despite being patient and respectful and trying to be distinct from the idiots the interaction with some women and couples has been terrible, shallow and robotic. I say so with due respect. I dont want to come across as a dick. Im just making an observation for discussiin.
The fear of the fake accounts also adds to the suspicion.
So my question is how to stay here and trust that Im not wasting tome or being drawn in by bots to keep numbers up?. I appreciate you reading this long rant!!
Regards
Dan"
As they said above. Have some banter. Dont see it as i must get laid right off. I found the best folk ive met off here started with me asking the most random of questions ie what end of the bathtub do u sit in. Ended up talking non stop to the point we havent stopped chatting in 6 months. Meet friends first the rest will happen eventually. And if ur ever up in Belshaft ill meet ya for a coffee n a yarn |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Thanks all for responses. Im not entitled. We are all here in good faith. Sometimes we may not express ourselves properly
Re: bots. Its probably a pejorative or clumsy word to describe those that I sometimes feel are keeping you interested but no intetest from their part!
And after being lured into a meeting in town that was a "no show" the last time I was on, its natural to be sceptical!!
Anyway.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
There's bit of ageism here on fab, once you're above 45 your fab life is just getting bit more difficult.
I didn't realise this
Mind if I ask; is it more difficult to meet on here at 45+ or you find that not many people are looking for people 45+ as much? Trying to understand what the difficult part may be..
Just wondering as i'm not a million miles from that cutoff point myself
Many many fabbers have a cut off age of 45 on their profile. Which means once you're over 45 your chances are reduced quite remarkably as your pool of possible meet partners shrinks. The age filters won't allow you to contact them.
Now just to clarify that applies to men only. If you're a woman - no matter how old and dried out of a bisquit you are - you still have plenty of choice and opportunities. "
Totally agree!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Messaging is so overrated!
For now focus on:
- getting your profile to stand out
- get yourself to the many, many events happening in Dublin. With the price of hotels there, many country people can't get to them at the moment. You're lucky.
- chat on the Irish forum, show your personality.
- have lots of patience, lots!
That's the formula "
Great advice. Thanks guys. But I suppose its hard work!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What did you actually expect when you came on fab?
What is your measure of success?
A shag a week? Two?
It's disposable sex for many, with some meeting more frequently than others, but that doesn't mean everyone on fab is available and obliged to sex it up with anyone who knows the secret handshake....
Like someone said, it's a social platform for likeminded folk to find eachother. Not a 'McSex takeaway&delivery'.
A change in perspective would be your first step here."
Agreed and great points. My OP prob ficussed too much on the negative side of things! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Not another one . Face palm emoji required "
Apols. But I think I got a discussion going. And thats my loint, I don't want to be "not another one". Happy fabbing guys and delighted its working for you. Lucky to be a couple on here. Maybe Mr might try a solo week..he will gwt my drift!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Go to a social great fun and you will meet loads of fabbers together. It's a great way to connect and have a great night out.Thats just my little input"
Thankyou Lolou |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"A little smack of arrogance and entitlement the way this (and the profile) is worded. You're not better than the other men on here. "
No no. Certainly not arrogant or entitled. Quite the opposite actually. Just trying to make a point based on experience. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"A little smack of arrogance and entitlement the way this (and the profile) is worded. You're not better than the other men on here.
Sorry, but I don't get a hint of arrogance from OP's profile at all... and his post shows the frustration that most men may feel when they're up against the numbers game that is Fab.
OP, get yourself to a social, check out the thread where verified Fabbers kindly give their time to meet for a coffee without expectation.
And get involved in the forum's - show that you are who you say you are.
Welcome to Fab Mrs "
Thankyou. Much appreciated advice. |
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By *ettaManMan
over a year ago
Kerry and Dublin |
Don't worry OP, you're not alone. But, a major part of the issue can be our own expectations. So, it can save a lot of frustration and exasperation by dropping all expectations of how Fab should be or what will happen from a meet.
I haven't managed any larger social meets yet, due to my work schedule, but it makes sense that that would be the best way to go. It gives the opportunity to meet people in a no-expectation, low-risk context and also to meet a larger number of people at once.
You might need to be verified to get an invite to some social meets so, as has already been mentioned, search the forum for "help a fabber out" |
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