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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So this is about pet names it's only men that have done it and it really drives me mad an opening message using a pet name and when you tell them to stop they keep using it
It's happened a few times now so
For the ladies how do you feel about it
And men does it actually get you anywhere |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I only use pet names for people I really know and get on with. Wouldn't use it in open messages or on first meets, feels weird and I think it makes me sound like a dickhead |
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By *MAsMan
over a year ago
Craigavon |
"So this is about pet names it's only men that have done it and it really drives me mad an opening message using a pet name and when you tell them to stop they keep using it
It's happened a few times now so
For the ladies how do you feel
about it
And men does it actually get you
anywhere "
I thought pet names where used when 16 years old |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I only use pet names for people I really know and get on with. Wouldn't use it in open messages or on first meets, feels weird and I think it makes me sound like a dickhead "
It definitely sent the dickhead vibe my way when I opened the message from him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So this is about pet names it's only men that have done it and it really drives me mad an opening message using a pet name and when you tell them to stop they keep using it
It's happened a few times now so
For the ladies how do you feel about it
And men does it actually get you anywhere "
Princess  |
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By *ealmc1973Man
over a year ago
Limerick, Clare, Tipperary |
Not sure if that was me, Wendi, who called you that... If so, my apology
I had different 'pet name' from the animal kingdom in my mind, but thought, that wouldn't be even less suitable 
...and as for the question, I am not too keen on using some silly names myself, but, message beginning with 'love', 'honey' and written in proper language gets my attention every time and I do prefer those to the lazy 'Hi'  |
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By *ealmc1973Man
over a year ago
Limerick, Clare, Tipperary |
"If its foxy you were thinking of that's not a problem but love honey darling they really erk me unless you know me it's not appropriate "
In Limerick, everyone is 'luv' or 'hun' regardless of their gender, age or place |
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"If its foxy you were thinking of that's not a problem but love honey darling they really erk me unless you know me it's not appropriate
In Limerick, everyone is 'luv' or 'hun' regardless of their gender, age or place "
It's a figure of speech up here too and especially in Belfast. Women call everyone including strangers "luv" or "hun" and men call everyone "mate".
The one that bugs me is "alright lad" from someone half my age |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So this is about pet names it's only men that have done it and it really drives me mad an opening message using a pet name and when you tell them to stop they keep using it
It's happened a few times now so
For the ladies how do you feel about it
And men does it actually get you anywhere "
I don't and never have used pet names , they are something that are just not my way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yea, my late father used to call all my female friends “peaches” or “chicken” which they thought was kinda cute -
As I did until I twigged he had no idea what their names were.
Unless in the context of a relationship or close friendship, I think such monikers are creepy at best and sometimes downright disrespectful. |
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Can't say it upsets me or makes me angry...I take it in my stride - sometimes as a compliment, sometimes as a term of endearment but rarely as offensive. Maybe growing up in rural Ireland, where a lot of people call you luv, hun or pet made me immune...but there's a way some use/say it and a look which then makes it sleazy and gives me the ick. |
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By *r. JMan
over a year ago
Wicklow |
"So this is about pet names it's only men that have done it and it really drives me mad an opening message using a pet name and when you tell them to stop they keep using it
It's happened a few times now so
For the ladies how do you feel about it
And men does it actually get you anywhere "
Perhaps if your age range was wider you would get more mature messages from more mature men without those silly pet names |
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"I don’t think sexy is a pet name like him or love or chick
Doesn’t everyone want to be sexy??
Not a pet name user myself"
Gotta agree, I refer to women and couples as sexy when I think they are wouldn’t think it upsets.
Like to keep playful pet names for people I’ve been intimate with, more for fun and to show the connection and they generally like it. Think it’s more when a stranger uses pet names it feels condescending or empty as there’s no previous connection. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So this is about pet names it's only men that have done it and it really drives me mad an opening message using a pet name and when you tell them to stop they keep using it
It's happened a few times now so
For the ladies how do you feel about it
And men does it actually get you anywhere
Perhaps if your age range was wider you would get more mature messages from more mature men without those silly pet names"
I can only speak for myself and not the OP but, in my experience, pet names are not solely the preserve of younger men. |
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"So this is about pet names it's only men that have done it and it really drives me mad an opening message using a pet name and when you tell them to stop they keep using it
It's happened a few times now so
For the ladies how do you feel about it
And men does it actually get you anywhere "
Its creepy and misogynistic imo...
At the same time I know some people mean noting more than endearment by it.. for others a habit or ice breaker ..
Those who keep doing it after you ask to stop ... thats just sleezy  |
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"If its foxy you were thinking of that's not a problem but love honey darling they really erk me unless you know me it's not appropriate
In Limerick, everyone is 'luv' or 'hun' regardless of their gender, age or place "
Same |
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"So this is about pet names it's only men that have done it and it really drives me mad an opening message using a pet name and when you tell them to stop they keep using it
It's happened a few times now so
For the ladies how do you feel about it
And men does it actually get you anywhere
Perhaps if your age range was wider you would get more mature messages from more mature men without those silly pet names"
Subtle  |
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"If its foxy you were thinking of that's not a problem but love honey darling they really erk me unless you know me it's not appropriate
In Limerick, everyone is 'luv' or 'hun' regardless of their gender, age or place "
Eh? No they're not. |
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I can get this! Luckily never really fell into my repertoire!
Quite similar to being whistled at, or worse yet those on nights out that give an unsolicited smack on the arse when you dont know them from blue, or so i imagine..
Ofcourse that opinion can change when you know them and maybe enjoy the attention then... but as an intro, i agree it wouldn't exactly cast you in the best light.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve never really felt comfortable using pet names. Can’t even do the male-male equivalent of calling a guy “mate” or “buddy”. Just feels unnatural to me somehow |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In an opening message, good chance it's a copy and paste, as you don't need to bother changing it. Calling people pet names can stop you calling them the wrong name which can have a bad effect too. So in speech i have been guilty of using some but not in a written message.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So this is about pet names it's only men that have done it and it really drives me mad an opening message using a pet name and when you tell them to stop they keep using it "
A man using a pet name in an opening message to a woman he doesn't even know on a swingers website, is likely to be a man in the same subset of men also complaining that they don't have much luck with women on here.
*draws a venn diagram for illustration purposes* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So this is about pet names it's only men that have done it and it really drives me mad an opening message using a pet name and when you tell them to stop they keep using it
It's happened a few times now so
For the ladies how do you feel about it
And men does it actually get you anywhere "
If you don’t know someone then I don’t think you should be calling them a pet name.
Usually my message will read “hey there how’s it going”
If a woman calls me a pet name all well and good and can go from there |
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
Did some one upset you baby girl 
Its not something id normally do but theres one or two that earned their pet names but in a jovial way
Don't think its a male donimated ick there are quite a lot if ladys that use the usual babe, hun, darling, tags |
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"If its foxy you were thinking of that's not a problem but love honey darling they really erk me unless you know me it's not appropriate
In Limerick, everyone is 'luv' or 'hun' regardless of their gender, age or place
It's a figure of speech up here too and especially in Belfast. Women call everyone including strangers "luv" or "hun" and men call everyone "mate".
The one that bugs me is "alright lad" from someone half my age"
Or young lads (teens )serving you in a shop and asking "Do you need a bag love" |
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I sumtimes get misconstrued for useing "lovely". But being welsh i use it all the time, in work, with friends, strangers. Wether they are 16 or 80 its a habit. "You ok lovely", "can I help you lovely", So if I ever offend i hope you understand its not a pet name but a speach habit. |
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"If it's from people I know and like than I don't mind I tend to use them with people I'm close to. But from strangers it is a definite no and a turn off. "
Same....
For me, my nicknames are a sign of affection, trust and knowledge, both recieved and given...
But from strangers.... ewwwww |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Like everything depends on the context and person involved.
Not a fan but it also wouldn't be the only reason I choose not to interact with a person.
And its absolutely not just men. Its just less acceptable for me like most things on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I sumtimes get misconstrued for useing "lovely". But being welsh i use it all the time, in work, with friends, strangers. Wether they are 16 or 80 its a habit. "You ok lovely", "can I help you lovely", So if I ever offend i hope you understand its not a pet name but a speach habit. "
After living in England for quite a few years using "my lovely/my lovelies" is a habit I acquired too but its still not something I'd use in an opening message to someone I'd had no previous contact with. It's liberally used elsewhere though |
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