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What to do when your boss asks to look at your tits???
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
Did u not reply
Only if he shows you hes willie first
With no provacation depending on the relationship maybe advise him hes stepped over the line and if her presists theres a proceedure to follow called a sexual harrasment report thats providong your employer is one of the bigger companys
If its a SME and theres no HR as such you should seek the advise of a legal professional and take action trough the labour relations court
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Definitely leverage it in your friend's favour. Want a pay rise? More annual leave? Flexi time? A 4 day work week? Now's the time to ask.
He's made an amateur mistake and should be made to sweat a little. At the very least 
Also, can we get a little context? Was his "request" on a night out or just randomly during work hours or what? |
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"Definitely leverage it in your friend's favour. Want a pay rise? More annual leave? Flexi time? A 4 day work week? Now's the time to ask.
He's made an amateur mistake and should be made to sweat a little. At the very least
Also, can we get a little context? Was his "request" on a night out or just randomly during work hours or what? "
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With all due respect context is irrelevant. Whether it is a night out or during working hours, decent individuals (women or men) do not ask work colleagues for that. |
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Wait till he asks you again . Record and then get whatever you want.
That person needs to learn a lesson and you deserve deserve to be the one that teaches them.
On a little bit of a more serious note mind yourself. Somebody who is that blatant out of nowhere Clearly has massive issues or disregard for boundaries. Or walk out of your job And in legal terms you're looking at 5 years wages.   |
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So some follow up -
No HR
He is a much younger guy with no wife
They have worked together for 4 years and never ever even a hint of anything before
It happened in his office, out of the blue - she actually thought he was going to have a heart attack or something first he was acting so strangely before he said it! |
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"So some follow up -
No HR
He is a much younger guy with no wife
They have worked together for 4 years and never ever even a hint of anything before
It happened in his office, out of the blue - she actually thought he was going to have a heart attack or something first he was acting so strangely before he said it! "
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No HR, then straight to the WRC (Workplace Relations Commission).
But without that recording or witnesses, it will be a rather difficult complaint to uphold.
I can only assume that he showed up to work that day under the influence and was not aware of his actions.
Really advice your friend to install a recording app on her phone and to never step a foot into his office without her phone on her and recording. |
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Another dilemma . .
As of yet she hasn’t told her husband - should she?
She’s afraid he’ll blow a gasket and kill the guy and that he’ll make her give up the job.
She doesn’t know yet what she’ll do but doesn’t want the choice taken out of her hands? |
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"Another dilemma . .
As of yet she hasn’t told her husband - should she?
She’s afraid he’ll blow a gasket and kill the guy and that he’ll make her give up the job.
She doesn’t know yet what she’ll do but doesn’t want the choice taken out of her hands?"
Tell the husband back off , while its understandable he will be angry Nd hurt ,,, he shouldn't harm there relationship by crossing boundaries too !
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"Another dilemma . .
As of yet she hasn’t told her husband - should she?
She’s afraid he’ll blow a gasket and kill the guy and that he’ll make her give up the job.
She doesn’t know yet what she’ll do but doesn’t want the choice taken out of her hands?"
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No .
No need to involve the husband just yet, until she secures that concrete evidence that will enable her to submit a successful claim to the WRC.
That should soften the husband's outrage and persuade him away from making any stupid move and go to vent his anger physically on that manager. Things can turn ugly and instead of being a victim, she and him will be dealt with as offenders |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All this talk of recording him? Wtaf? No-one should ever - EVER - put themselves at risk by doing that, and no HR professional worth their salt or with one iota of knowledge would ask someone to do that.
Your friend should seek guidance immediately from the relevant authorities...I'm sorry, I'm in NI and my HR experience was all in England so I'm not sure which those are.
It may be a long and arduous process and your friend will almost certainly need the support of her husband so it would be best to tell him ASAP but also impress upon him the importance of his actions staying on the right side of the law |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is so unprofessional and also dangerous.
I would be seeking HR advice here.
If this guy is asking that (considering it’s 2022- not that it’s acceptable in any era), you’d have to wonder what his mindset is like.
Red flag on steroids there.
PS: Make sure you have a good relationship with others in the office/workplace who are close to him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would go back to her boss, tell him that his comment about seeing her boobs was not acceptable and if such a comment was ever made again she will take the matter further.
I would possibly let someone else know so they have a witness that all this happen incase of a repeat. Her boss can then not denie the first incident happened. |
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"All this talk of recording him? Wtaf? No-one should ever - EVER - put themselves at risk by doing that, and no HR professional worth their salt or with one iota of knowledge would ask someone to do that.
Your friend should seek guidance immediately from the relevant authorities...I'm sorry, I'm in NI and my HR experience was all in England so I'm not sure which those are.
It may be a long and arduous process and your friend will almost certainly need the support of her husband so it would be best to tell him ASAP but also impress upon him the importance of his actions staying on the right side of the law"
Hr would never advise it true..
Then to be fair hr run with the hare and the hound .
Hr are not allow ask you to do that.
Evidence is key if you wish to presue ...
Also worth mentioning,,,, you need to leave asap if you are to pursue constructive dismissal,,, which may be your best approach as it puts the responsibility on the company to prove it didn't happen ... |
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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago
Newry Down |
Gather as much evidence as possible of his egregious behaviour and put it to whatever use you can to further your objectives: ranging from FO and leave me alone, or else; through to a 50% pay rise and a lump sum paid into your pension fund.
Bosses do some amazingly unwise things at times; I could write a book about it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd report the creep, but try to get evidence first.
I don't think there's anything wrong with finding you attractive, or even him having those thoughts. But acting on them out of the blue, when you've not done anything to show you're interested is vile and completely inappropriate. |
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"Report him to his immediate superior or, if he doesn't have one, to HR"
Fully agree. I reckon he has spotted your friend on a site like this and thinks your friend wants "ot" all the time , any where and any place - including work |
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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago
Newry Down |
This is a really serious reply without frivolity.
In a work setting, the very best approach to take, on being subjected to any inappropriate behaviour by another employee, no matter what their position in the hierarchical pecking order, is to pounce on it immediately, react angrily and attract witnesses' attention if any are close
HR is not your friend or ally; do not depend on it to take effective action against the aggressor or perpetrator.
If you react immediately and forcefully your reputation for intolerance or inappropriateness will precede you and life at work will be trouble-free.
In extreme cases, you may need to follow-thru if there is a second instance
One director at a business that I worked in was very unwell and eventually started to undress in my presence after months if harassment; he eventually took his own life!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Recording without all parties agree to it is illegal and my not be admissible in court. It would be very good for outside court negotiations. Anyway multiple salaries are possible. |
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So out of nowhere he just asked could be see her tit ? Is it possible she misheard him and he said something else. And what was her immediate response ? Did she say no that's inappropriate or yes absolutely her you go.
Seems super strange in this day and age that anyone would randomly come out and say that to a anyone unless it was in here and even then you could be told to f off but at least you wouldn't get the jail and lose your job |
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"Definitely unwanted & not as much as a hint of anything before this "
There is banter you can have with some people but this is not that.
It's grounds to being an issue.
In a side note, is he aware your on fab or do you suspect he may have spotted you. If they is the case, he is using his position in a power senario.
That's harressment |
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"So out of nowhere he just asked could be see her tit ? Is it possible she misheard him and he said something else. And what was her immediate response ? Did she say no that's inappropriate or yes absolutely her you go.
Seems super strange in this day and age that anyone would randomly come out and say that to a anyone unless it was in here and even then you could be told to f off but at least you wouldn't get the jail and lose your job"
She didn’t mis-hear. She was taken aback and shocked at first as he started talking but then stood up and said I am not listening to this and walked out - He told her not to tell anyone about it as she left room! |
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"Report him to his immediate superior or, if he doesn't have one, to HR
Fully agree. I reckon he has spotted your friend on a site like this and thinks your friend wants "ot" all the time , any where and any place - including work"
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"Report him to his immediate superior or, if he doesn't have one, to HR
Fully agree. I reckon he has spotted your friend on a site like this and thinks your friend wants "ot" all the time , any where and any place - including work"
Definitely not seen her on any site |
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"Is it possible that he's not the full shilling, of took some kind of turn, maybe a mental illness of some soft? . Theres always two sides to a story(as the WRC will find out). "
She actually thinks he may have developed a mental illness of some sort . . It just doesn’t make sense otherwise |
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She wasn’t really looking to have him get into trouble or looking to sue him . . She was wondering how to approach going into work after it. Whether to speak to him or ignore? She chose ignore!! She took a few days off work directly following it and told her husband who was very understanding. Didn’t blow a gasket or anything like she thought he might. She had hub come into office with her on first day back (not something they would have done before)under the pretence of giving him
Something from her office but made sure boss saw him. A subtle sign of unity. Alls been fine since - No mention of anything. All very cordial and professional. |
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By *payneMan
over a year ago
Northside |
Unfortunately the reality ia if he said it verbally and with no witness it would never stand up.
Best thing she could do is either forget it and consider if it's the right place for her to stay.
Alternatively, she might send him a txt / mail saying, remember you asked me in the office if you could see my tits? Do you still want to? I'd he replies yes thej she has the proof he asked her. Otherwise I don't see a way to prove it |
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"She wasn’t really looking to have him get into trouble or looking to sue him . . She was wondering how to approach going into work after it. Whether to speak to him or ignore? She chose ignore!! She took a few days off work directly following it and told her husband who was very understanding. Didn’t blow a gasket or anything like she thought he might. She had hub come into office with her on first day back (not something they would have done before)under the pretence of giving him
Something from her office but made sure boss saw him. A subtle sign of unity. Alls been fine since - No mention of anything. All very cordial and professional. "
Any update? |
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