Wonder are others finding it the same ?
Since post lockdown we have been encountering this more and more.
This seems to be more with guys (but not exclusive, nor is this an anti male post) that they mail and chat but never actually ask to meet
They will mail and after a few mails, will hint at meeting but never actually come out and say "are ye for a coffee this weekend' for example
Don't get us wrong we don't expect the other party to be the one to ask all the time , but more and more these days it had come down to us.
Is it a fear of rejection?
Is it laziness?
This would happen in the past but these days it's more prevalent |
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"Wonder are others finding it the same ?
Since post lockdown we have been encountering this more and more.
This seems to be more with guys (but not exclusive, nor is this an anti male post) that they mail and chat but never actually ask to meet
They will mail and after a few mails, will hint at meeting but never actually come out and say "are ye for a coffee this weekend' for example
Don't get us wrong we don't expect the other party to be the one to ask all the time , but more and more these days it had come down to us.
Is it a fear of rejection?
Is it laziness?
This would happen in the past but these days it's more prevalent "
I think it goes both ways tbh.
I've met up with a few people in the last few weeks, for a tea and a chat. Had a few cancelled which I understand but sometimes you can just loose interest. Especially when alot of people couldn't be bothered to reply.
Still though, no point in dwelling on it with such beautiful sunshine to brighten everyone's day  |
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We aren't talking about people no showing or nothing happening after a coffee meet, we simply mean people not even bringing it as far as a coffee. Guys (mostly) chatting a bit and saying how they'd love to meet but never actually saying fancy a coffee. We are not afraid to ask people for coffee but we are just getting a bit tired of it always being us |
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By *on655Man
over a year ago
Bronte |
"We aren't talking about people no showing or nothing happening after a coffee meet, we simply mean people not even bringing it as far as a coffee. Guys (mostly) chatting a bit and saying how they'd love to meet but never actually saying fancy a coffee. We are not afraid to ask people for coffee but we are just getting a bit tired of it always being us "
Maybe it comes down to fellas not having as much confidence as they thought they had? Could be a host of reasons. At the end of the day why talk if you’ve no intention of meeting? |
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It's fairly common on here in my experience. A lot of guys are just looking for chats. And some people are fantasists with no intention of ever meeting.
Be forward and ask for a coffee meet if that is what you want. You'll know fairly quickly if they intend to actually meet you. |
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"It's fairly common on here in my experience. A lot of guys are just looking for chats. And some people are fantasists with no intention of ever meeting.
Be forward and ask for a coffee meet if that is what you want. You'll know fairly quickly if they intend to actually meet you. "
Fancy a coffee?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Cant really blame them.. Single men get treated very badly here, people expect you to drop everything and run to their beckon call if they clicked their fingers and if you don't you're branded a timewaster or messer |
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"Cant really blame them.. Single men get treated very badly here, people expect you to drop everything and run to their beckon call if they clicked their fingers and if you don't you're branded a timewaster or messer "
THIS |
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By *indenMan
over a year ago
Naas which is South West of Dublin |
I think it’s difficult at times here being a single fella to get the right balance between being respectful, friendly and patient, and being pushy.
I think if I’ve been chatting to someone for a while and I’ve said let me know if you’re free for a coffee some time, or we should have coffee some time, personally, I probably leave it at that and let the other person make the next move or suggestion so to speak, otherwise I just feel like I’m being pushy, I’ve made the suggestion and feel if the other person is interested they’ll say so, if or when it suits them and then arrangements can be make for a time and place to please all. |
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By *on655Man
over a year ago
Bronte |
"I think it’s difficult at times here being a single fella to get the right balance between being respectful, friendly and patient, and being pushy.
I think if I’ve been chatting to someone for a while and I’ve said let me know if you’re free for a coffee some time, or we should have coffee some time, personally, I probably leave it at that and let the other person make the next move or suggestion so to speak, otherwise I just feel like I’m being pushy, I’ve made the suggestion and feel if the other person is interested they’ll say so, if or when it suits them and then arrangements can be make for a time and place to please all."
Nail on the head |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
"Cant really blame them.. Single men get treated very badly here, people expect you to drop everything and run to their beckon call if they clicked their fingers and if you don't you're branded a timewaster or messer "
Not my experience as a single man on here at all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cant really blame them.. Single men get treated very badly here, people expect you to drop everything and run to their beckon call if they clicked their fingers and if you don't you're branded a timewaster or messer
Not my experience as a single man on here at all "
No need to rub it in.
In all seriousness however, you may be lucky I have had the most demanding experiences with women and couples alike. Part of the reason I rarely use this site tbh. |
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"We aren't talking about people no showing or nothing happening after a coffee meet, we simply mean people not even bringing it as far as a coffee. Guys (mostly) chatting a bit and saying how they'd love to meet but never actually saying fancy a coffee. We are not afraid to ask people for coffee but we are just getting a bit tired of it always being us "
You can invite me for coffee..... anytime  |
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"We aren't talking about people no showing or nothing happening after a coffee meet, we simply mean people not even bringing it as far as a coffee. Guys (mostly) chatting a bit and saying how they'd love to meet but never actually saying fancy a coffee. We are not afraid to ask people for coffee but we are just getting a bit tired of it always being us
You can invite me for coffee..... anytime "
Likewise |
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By *indenMan
over a year ago
Naas which is South West of Dublin |
"In all seriousness however, you may be lucky I have had the most demanding experiences with women and couples alike. Part of the reason I rarely use this site tbh. "
I get lots of demand too but they usually start with “stop” and end with “ya little fucker”………    |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We aren't talking about people no showing or nothing happening after a coffee meet, we simply mean people not even bringing it as far as a coffee. Guys (mostly) chatting a bit and saying how they'd love to meet but never actually saying fancy a coffee. We are not afraid to ask people for coffee but we are just getting a bit tired of it always being us
You can invite me for coffee..... anytime
Likewise"
have you all single men blocked since this post? |
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"Cant really blame them.. Single men get treated very badly here, people expect you to drop everything and run to their beckon call if they clicked their fingers and if you don't you're branded a timewaster or messer "
My experience has been the complete opposite. |
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"Cant really blame them.. Single men get treated very badly here, people expect you to drop everything and run to their beckon call if they clicked their fingers and if you don't you're branded a timewaster or messer "
Never had this happen, thank god! |
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"Cant really blame them.. Single men get treated very badly here, people expect you to drop everything and run to their beckon call if they clicked their fingers and if you don't you're branded a timewaster or messer
My experience has been the complete opposite. "
I have experienced this but only because I don't react as expected to introductory messages which are basically a list of instructions.
As already said above there is a fine line between being confident and asking to meet and being too pushy.
It's not just men who get knocked back or rejected but it's all in the tone.
I don't send messages so all conversations are started by others and the only abuse I've ever received have been simply because I said no. No arguments, no disagreements but just a polite no I'm not interested in your demands and that's when the dummy spitting starts. |
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By *ettaManMan
over a year ago
Kerry and Dublin |
"
They will mail and after a few mails, will hint at meeting but never actually come out and say "are ye for a coffee this weekend' for example
"
How many mails are we talking and how well has the conversation been flowing?
Have ye given reasonable indication that ye would be willing to meet for a coffee?
If a guy asks to meet too early in an interaction, then the likely answer is no and that's the end of the conversation.
The guy is probably thinking that he needs to build enough rapport before asking and, not just that, have a reasonable idea that the answer is going to be yes bcos, again, if he asks too soon the answer is likely to be no and that's the end of the conversation.
When replies are scarce on here, there might be a tendency to err on the side of over caution.
That being said, let's meet for a coffee. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it’s difficult at times here being a single fella to get the right balance between being respectful, friendly and patient, and being pushy.
I think if I’ve been chatting to someone for a while and I’ve said let me know if you’re free for a coffee some time, or we should have coffee some time, personally, I probably leave it at that and let the other person make the next move or suggestion so to speak, otherwise I just feel like I’m being pushy, I’ve made the suggestion and feel if the other person is interested they’ll say so, if or when it suits them and then arrangements can be make for a time and place to please all."
Well said, I do think it's difficult for many men to make the first move and there's only so much rejection one person can be expected to take. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We aren't talking about people no showing or nothing happening after a coffee meet, we simply mean people not even bringing it as far as a coffee. Guys (mostly) chatting a bit and saying how they'd love to meet but never actually saying fancy a coffee. We are not afraid to ask people for coffee but we are just getting a bit tired of it always being us
You can invite me for coffee..... anytime "
Plus Dinner, Bed and Breakfast |
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By *inion42Man
over a year ago
minionland |
I was reading this post and was pondering in adding my 2cents so I though I would.
After he lockdown I think people were very much in town minds whether to do anything, as in I should be doing something, but I need to be pushed, people need to infused with the social dopamine that comes from meeting people
On a personal level I would never have the “bottle” to actually essage a couple I saw an interest in, however in a social setting I would definitely say hello and have a yap
To Conclude and something that could be tied together (see what I did there) is rejection from a lots of people on here and rejection criteria.
Myself I’m just going with the flow
Rejection is when your past V1 and your ass is on fire on the runway |
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