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Are you a straight talker ?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Can you compliment someone beyond surface waffle ?
Can you constructively criticise without being personal ?
If you are in a restaurant and the waiting staff ask your opinion , are you honest or always say "it's great".
If you are at a hairdressers/barbers do you acquiesce to platitudes . When someone asks how you are , is your default "fine/grand"?
Do you say you feel shit when you do ? Great when you do ? If someone asks you how they look and they ask for your honest opinion , do you give it or just people please ?
From a sexual side , have you faked an orgasm ?
Are you able to articulate your desires in bed ?
If you had a niche sexual fetish that may be conaidered outside of what is societally considered "normal" , could you be honest about it ?
Reason I ask is there is a lot of talk around authenticity and yet in so many ways where people communicate they'll anaesthesise their words for whatever reason it may be . I do understand at times there can be a cost to the truth but in general do you communicate how you really feel ?
Any other examples of where people avoid voicing their truth I'd be interested in hearing/learning about . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I say it to the way it is no point in beating around the bush "
In the few examples I gave , you've no issue being straight out ?
(If so, I commend you ) |
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"I say it to the way it is no point in beating around the bush
In the few examples I gave , you've no issue being straight out ?
(If so, I commend you )"
id never do it in a bad way i know when to hold back and be tactful |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I say it to the way it is no point in beating around the bush
In the few examples I gave , you've no issue being straight out ?
(If so, I commend you )id never do it in a bad way i know when to hold back and be tactful "
There's a difference for sure between honesty and being ruthless just for the sake of it |
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"I say it to the way it is no point in beating around the bush
In the few examples I gave , you've no issue being straight out ?
(If so, I commend you )id never do it in a bad way i know when to hold back and be tactful
There's a difference for sure between honesty and being ruthless just for the sake of it"
totally agree |
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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago
Newry Down |
I shoot straight from the hip, and I get into really serious trouble from always telling the truth, unvarnished and red in tooth and claw.
I have been assaulted on numerous occasions for my plain speaking. |
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It is entirely dependent on who's asking the question and why.
I often don't say it as it is because I can't be arsed getting into a conversation with some or an argument with others.
Not every question needs a straight up honest answer.
I have little respect for anyone who claims to always say it as it is because they have little or no tact, no ability to read the room and they like to announce that this is who I am, deal with it with no thought to the consequences. |
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This is me. I'm often a bit too brutal in the way I speak my truth though. I could definitely operate with a bit more consideration as my words might upset or annoy. I feel that it stands me in good stead as an employer and as a partner, but it can make me look hard-headed and perhaps unkind. It helps me think and act decisively and confidently, but can make mecome off as arrogant and judgemental. There are definitely positives and negatives to openly speaking your truth. It's not that I don't have a filter at all, because I do, it's just that if I feel I have something to say that can help someone or work towards fixing a problem, then it comes out fast and honest even if its uncomfortable to speak or hear. It gets me into trouble constantly, but I'd rather be this way than a nodder or a yes man who agrees when they don't agree, and stays quiet because it's nice to be nice. |
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"This is me. I'm often a bit too brutal in the way I speak my truth though. I could definitely operate with a bit more consideration as my words might upset or annoy. I feel that it stands me in good stead as an employer and as a partner, but it can make me look hard-headed and perhaps unkind. It helps me think and act decisively and confidently, but can make mecome off as arrogant and judgemental. There are definitely positives and negatives to openly speaking your truth. It's not that I don't have a filter at all, because I do, it's just that if I feel I have something to say that can help someone or work towards fixing a problem, then it comes out fast and honest even if its uncomfortable to speak or hear. It gets me into trouble constantly, but I'd rather be this way than a nodder or a yes man who agrees when they don't agree, and stays quiet because it's nice to be nice."
I get this though it’s understandable. Few moments of being uncomfortable or a longer time of regretting not saying anything. It’s not a bad thing atall |
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By *ancy38Woman
over a year ago
galway |
"Can you compliment someone beyond surface waffle ?
Can you constructively criticise without being personal ?
If you are in a restaurant and the waiting staff ask your opinion , are you honest or always say "it's great".
If you are at a hairdressers/barbers do you acquiesce to platitudes . When someone asks how you are , is your default "fine/grand"?
Do you say you feel shit when you do ? Great when you do ? If someone asks you how they look and they ask for your honest opinion , do you give it or just people please ?
From a sexual side , have you faked an orgasm ?
Are you able to articulate your desires in bed ?
If you had a niche sexual fetish that may be conaidered outside of what is societally considered "normal" , could you be honest about it ?
Reason I ask is there is a lot of talk around authenticity and yet in so many ways where people communicate they'll anaesthesise their words for whatever reason it may be . I do understand at times there can be a cost to the truth but in general do you communicate how you really feel ?
Any other examples of where people avoid voicing their truth I'd be interested in hearing/learning about ."
I try not to most times just to be nice although I have a partner who is brutally honest. To honest at times. I have noticed alot people don't like this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am 100% honest and deep with really good friends but with the average Joe soap i would be but depending on the situation or conversation. Same with aqaintences honest on simple things like you mentioned above but cautious about how i answer the questions also without to much depth. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can you compliment someone beyond surface waffle ?
Can you constructively criticise without being personal ?
If you are in a restaurant and the waiting staff ask your opinion , are you honest or always say "it's great".
If you are at a hairdressers/barbers do you acquiesce to platitudes . When someone asks how you are , is your default "fine/grand"?
Do you say you feel shit when you do ? Great when you do ? If someone asks you how they look and they ask for your honest opinion , do you give it or just people please ?
From a sexual side , have you faked an orgasm ?
Are you able to articulate your desires in bed ?
If you had a niche sexual fetish that may be conaidered outside of what is societally considered "normal" , could you be honest about it ?
Reason I ask is there is a lot of talk around authenticity and yet in so many ways where people communicate they'll anaesthesise their words for whatever reason it may be . I do understand at times there can be a cost to the truth but in general do you communicate how you really feel ?
Any other examples of where people avoid voicing their truth I'd be interested in hearing/learning about ."
This is a quality post. Making me think ! Although it is a bit early to make my brain work this hard |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is entirely dependent on who's asking the question and why.
I often don't say it as it is because I can't be arsed getting into a conversation with some or an argument with others.
Not every question needs a straight up honest answer.
I have little respect for anyone who claims to always say it as it is because they have little or no tact, no ability to read the room and they like to announce that this is who I am, deal with it with no thought to the consequences. "
I agree with this, blunt honesty is a totally different thing to behaving with integrity with a mind to the feelings of others. |
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"It is entirely dependent on who's asking the question and why.
I often don't say it as it is because I can't be arsed getting into a conversation with some or an argument with others.
Not every question needs a straight up honest answer.
I have little respect for anyone who claims to always say it as it is because they have little or no tact, no ability to read the room and they like to announce that this is who I am, deal with it with no thought to the consequences. "
Spot on as always rb. A lot of people hide behind the veil of "im a straight talker" to justify being an absolute arse |
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By *oseredWoman
over a year ago
Dublin |
Gotta say I agree with reality on this one. I think a lot of people confuse rude, thoughtless and ill mannered behaviours with "just being honest". Every interaction is different and managing a situation does not mean you're a people pleaser or a nodding yes person. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It is entirely dependent on who's asking the question and why.
I often don't say it as it is because I can't be arsed getting into a conversation with some or an argument with others.
Not every question needs a straight up honest answer.
I have little respect for anyone who claims to always say it as it is because they have little or no tact, no ability to read the room and they like to announce that this is who I am, deal with it with no thought to the consequences.
Spot on as always rb. A lot of people hide behind the veil of "im a straight talker" to justify being an absolute arse"
People at times masquerade as a straight talker but in reality it's a way for them to be vindictive . It's certainly possible to be straight with someone without being nasty under the guise of straight talking . |
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"Gotta say I agree with reality on this one. I think a lot of people confuse rude, thoughtless and ill mannered behaviours with "just being honest". Every interaction is different and managing a situation does not mean you're a people pleaser or a nodding yes person. "
It does if you're saying you agree with something that you don't agree with, or saying yes when you know you really want to say no. |
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It's way easier to agree and to nod than it is to say no and present your actual opinion. A lot of the time that's the real reason why it's not done. It's easier, quicker, and totally non-confrontational. |
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"It is entirely dependent on who's asking the question and why.
I often don't say it as it is because I can't be arsed getting into a conversation with some or an argument with others.
Not every question needs a straight up honest answer.
I have little respect for anyone who claims to always say it as it is because they have little or no tact, no ability to read the room and they like to announce that this is who I am, deal with it with no thought to the consequences.
Spot on as always rb. A lot of people hide behind the veil of "im a straight talker" to justify being an absolute arse
People at times masquerade as a straight talker but in reality it's a way for them to be vindictive . It's certainly possible to be straight with someone without being nasty under the guise of straight talking . "
That's why I said it depends not only on who is asking but also why.
Some people only know how to ask loaded questions so two people could ask the same question but get different answers based on their reason for asking.
In management the person taking the "I'll always say it as it is" approach often has poor man management skills and every situation becomes a sideshow and staff turnover increases more than productivity.
Be honest and upfront but make it constructive rather than having to be the loudest voice in the room. |
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"It is entirely dependent on who's asking the question and why.
I often don't say it as it is because I can't be arsed getting into a conversation with some or an argument with others.
Not every question needs a straight up honest answer.
I have little respect for anyone who claims to always say it as it is because they have little or no tact, no ability to read the room and they like to announce that this is who I am, deal with it with no thought to the consequences.
I agree with this, blunt honesty is a totally different thing to behaving with integrity with a mind to the feelings of others. "
 Yes to all the above!
Personally I hate the term "straight talker". I just can't help but think that anybody who uses the term to describe themselves, is probably a bit of a gobshite! |
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