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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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what we do maybe taboo, but it is far from illegal. so why, oh why do so many venues refuse to allow us to host events?
We want to be honest and open about what we do, but small minded venue owners and managers mean we need to lie!
should we have to hide who we are?
we arrange social events so we can be open about who we are, so we can meet like minded people in a safe environment and the bars do very very well out of it in the process.
Are we being discriminated against?
your comments are appreciated |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"what we do maybe taboo, but it is far from illegal. so why, oh why do so many venues refuse to allow us to host events?
We want to be honest and open about what we do, but small minded venue owners and managers mean we need to lie!
should we have to hide who we are?
we arrange social events so we can be open about who we are, so we can meet like minded people in a safe environment and the bars do very very well out of it in the process.
Are we being discriminated against?
your comments are appreciated"
No, we don't have to hide - that's a personal choice each individual has to make for themselves or as part of a couple.
No, we don't have to lie - that's a personal choice each individual makes. I simply choose not to be overt about the nature of the event. We're celebrating an anniversary. A birthdays. An engagement. All of those are true. The venue manager needn't know about our sex lives. We don't intend to fuck on the bar.
No, we aren't being discriminated against - venue managers have a host of things to consider; the venue's reputation, the health, safety and well being of the staff employed as well as the expectations of normal 'civilian' patrons of their establishment. |
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We never told pubs or bars it was a swingers social.
Never told them anything, just turned up.
When one social group needed a room in a pub they said they were a motorbike group.
Think if the people who showed up to our social meets knew we told the venue they were part of a swingers group meet, they probably wouldn't show up.
To many of us swinging is a private experience not one for public consumption.
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We didnt tell the truth to our venues when we ran socials and parties. It was always someones birthday or another kind of social meetup. A small amount of cloak and dagger is fun. I wish lying wasn't necessary as it complicates things, but it often is. |
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I had all of this to consider when i ran the club in Dublin. Venue owners are generally conservative, and dont want adverse publicity. And, as a business, have to take into account many factors, as outlined above. Simply, book a room for a school reunion, or work party, or meet-up group, and help them make an easy decision. You could do what the Munch organisers do, and dont publish the venue location until the last minute, so avoiding all the online gossip and chit chat about the venue. |
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"what we do maybe taboo, but it is far from illegal. so why, oh why do so many venues refuse to allow us to host events?
We want to be honest and open about what we do, but small minded venue owners and managers mean we need to lie!
should we have to hide who we are?
we arrange social events so we can be open about who we are, so we can meet like minded people in a safe environment and the bars do very very well out of it in the process.
Are we being discriminated against?
your comments are appreciated"
In our experience we have tried to book city centre venues and found them to be sympathetic to our needs. The biggest problem is that we are asking them to give up their regular guests on a Friday or Saturday night with a guaranteed income of 12-20k for a swingers social that might only give them half of that. One bar we approached in Belfast wanted us to guarantee that our guests would spend at least 4k at the bar. Any shortfall would have to be met by ourselves. This is why we stick to our regular venue that knows what we do, they keep our secret and allow our freedom of expression and total privacy. Once you have that there is no other venue you would want to go to. We have come across alot of venues that are happy to have us who host weddings etc but their setup which involves large banquet tables offering zero atmosphere and anti social setups would not suit a swingers social. |
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"what we do maybe taboo, but it is far from illegal. so why, oh why do so many venues refuse to allow us to host events?
We want to be honest and open about what we do, but small minded venue owners and managers mean we need to lie!
should we have to hide who we are?
we arrange social events so we can be open about who we are, so we can meet like minded people in a safe environment and the bars do very very well out of it in the process.
Are we being discriminated against?
your comments are appreciated"
But to directly answer your question then no, I don't think we have ever once felt discrimated against for being swingers. The main barrier is a financial one or a loyalty to their regular guests. |
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I would imagine that the venue would like to protect its name for family events dirt sticks but I'm sure they cop when grown ass women turn up in school girl outfits or other costumes Alot of hard work goes into these events so try to respect organisers as much as the venue |
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"I would imagine that the venue would like to protect its name for family events dirt sticks but I'm sure they cop when grown ass women turn up in school girl outfits or other costumes Alot of hard work goes into these events so try to respect organisers as much as the venue "
We've never attended or organised a social where the dress code is anything different from a normal Saturday night meeting friends.
We found the socials great for initial meets and to invite folks to future parties.
Initially the timewaster rate is about 75% but as verifications show the event as real, well organised and friendly the numbers creep up.
The usual amount of timewasters, dreamers, fantasists to contend with but all in all, a great time.
Be prepared to put in buckets of effort and to be trolled. |
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