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By *NawtyCpl OP Couple
over a year ago
Around and about |
Seeing as how its pride month, I have a question.
Lots of wonderful folk on here identify as bi and yes, we know there is bi and theres fab bi and they are not the same.
Are there many who are out as bi? Many in hetero relationships whose family ( outside of partner) know they are bi?
I've often thought about it but for now, it's just between myself and MrN  |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
I've told a few people I work with when one made a joke in a group I was having a coffee with one day
It felt good to say something to be honest but I also believe that its more acceptable on here to be a bi woman than a bi man.
I've never seen one profile saying " no bi women contact us" I see " no bi men contact us" every single day ....it's no wonder men hide it . |
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"Seeing as how its pride month, I have a question.
Lots of wonderful folk on here identify as bi and yes, we know there is bi and theres fab bi and they are not the same.
Are there many who are out as bi? Many in hetero relationships whose family ( outside of partner) know they are bi?
I've often thought about it but for now, it's just between myself and MrN "
It always saddens me that people in Ireland still fear peoples judgement of their life choices! I’m straight, but if I was any other way, my family would be the first to know, and wouldn’t bat an eyelid! Someday the world won’t see sexuality as a one way or other thing  just people living as they choose and not having to define themselves or their choices from one day to the next! |
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"I've told a few people I work with when one made a joke in a group I was having a coffee with one day
It felt good to say something to be honest but I also believe that its more acceptable on here to be a bi woman than a bi man.
I've never seen one profile saying " no bi women contact us" I see " no bi men contact us" every single day ....it's no wonder men hide it ."
All that says to me is the male partner of that profile isn’t fully comfortable in their sexuality, or is, and doesn’t want a bi man trying to cross boundaries, as a straight man, what I’ve learned, is bi or gay men, can be pretty out of line when it comes to their behaviour! |
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"I've told a few people I work with when one made a joke in a group I was having a coffee with one day
It felt good to say something to be honest but I also believe that its more acceptable on here to be a bi woman than a bi man.
I've never seen one profile saying " no bi women contact us" I see " no bi men contact us" every single day ....it's no wonder men hide it .
All that says to me is the male partner of that profile isn’t fully comfortable in their sexuality, or is, and doesn’t want a bi man trying to cross boundaries, as a straight man, what I’ve learned, is bi or gay men, can be pretty out of line when it comes to their behaviour! "
I mean I’ve had gay men sexually harass and be quite vocally out of line in regards their treatment of me, if a man said similar or behaved similar ways to a woman, they’d probably end up in court! |
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By *NawtyCpl OP Couple
over a year ago
Around and about |
"I've told a few people I work with when one made a joke in a group I was having a coffee with one day
It felt good to say something to be honest but I also believe that its more acceptable on here to be a bi woman than a bi man.
I've never seen one profile saying " no bi women contact us" I see " no bi men contact us" every single day ....it's no wonder men hide it ."
We are super lucky, we are together since we were teens. If I told friends or family I was Bi now, first question.. well how do you know? your with MrN for the last 25 plus years. For me it would open up way too many questions into swinging and our lifestyle world |
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By *NawtyCpl OP Couple
over a year ago
Around and about |
"I've told a few people I work with when one made a joke in a group I was having a coffee with one day
It felt good to say something to be honest but I also believe that its more acceptable on here to be a bi woman than a bi man.
I've never seen one profile saying " no bi women contact us" I see " no bi men contact us" every single day ....it's no wonder men hide it .
All that says to me is the male partner of that profile isn’t fully comfortable in their sexuality, or is, and doesn’t want a bi man trying to cross boundaries, as a straight man, what I’ve learned, is bi or gay men, can be pretty out of line when it comes to their behaviour!
I mean I’ve had gay men sexually harass and be quite vocally out of line in regards their treatment of me, if a man said similar or behaved similar ways to a woman, they’d probably end up in court! "
Welcome to the world of women |
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"I've told a few people I work with when one made a joke in a group I was having a coffee with one day
It felt good to say something to be honest but I also believe that its more acceptable on here to be a bi woman than a bi man.
I've never seen one profile saying " no bi women contact us" I see " no bi men contact us" every single day ....it's no wonder men hide it .
All that says to me is the male partner of that profile isn’t fully comfortable in their sexuality, or is, and doesn’t want a bi man trying to cross boundaries, as a straight man, what I’ve learned, is bi or gay men, can be pretty out of line when it comes to their behaviour!
I mean I’ve had gay men sexually harass and be quite vocally out of line in regards their treatment of me, if a man said similar or behaved similar ways to a woman, they’d probably end up in court!
Welcome to the world of women "
I have 4 sisters, no brothers, women can slap men for that and it’s acceptable, I can’t punch a gay guy for the same! Men are expected to just take it and laugh it off! Which I admit I do, I just take the piss out of them, but if I heard a man speak to one of my sisters in a similar fashion, he’d need an ambulance |
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By *NawtyCpl OP Couple
over a year ago
Around and about |
Sorry, my bad. I was more referring to the action not the reaction.
Women experience what you described in far more abundance than men typically.
Reactions, be they violent or not are subjective. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Seeing as how its pride month, I have a question.
Lots of wonderful folk on here identify as bi and yes, we know there is bi and theres fab bi and they are not the same.
Are there many who are out as bi? Many in hetero relationships whose family ( outside of partner) know they are bi?
I've often thought about it but for now, it's just between myself and MrN "
Great topic OP, I have been talking about this to someone on the outside looking in and one or two in the swing circle aswell. I have disclosed my sexualality to one close family member and to a few close friends outside of swing. I was encouraged not to be carrying shame for the sexual being within myself which i am slowly working on, good friends or family won't judge no matter what, they will be supportive. However i am still cautious who i open up to but my main aim is to be kind and loving to myself as a whole, the good, the bad and indifferent that makes me who i am .   |
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"Sorry, my bad. I was more referring to the action not the reaction.
Women experience what you described in far more abundance than men typically.
Reactions, be they violent or not are subjective. "
Ohh I wasn’t trying to one up anyone, just saying that as a straight man, sexual abuse and harassment is just as bad and prolific for us, unfortunately though, most cases are probably referred and seen as Homophobic attacks, by men who aren’t as non violent as I am. But hey, men should be able to take it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've told a few people I work with when one made a joke in a group I was having a coffee with one day
It felt good to say something to be honest but I also believe that its more acceptable on here to be a bi woman than a bi man.
I've never seen one profile saying " no bi women contact us" I see " no bi men contact us" every single day ....it's no wonder men hide it .
All that says to me is the male partner of that profile isn’t fully comfortable in their sexuality, or is, and doesn’t want a bi man trying to cross boundaries, as a straight man, what I’ve learned, is bi or gay men, can be pretty out of line when it comes to their behaviour!
I mean I’ve had gay men sexually harass and be quite vocally out of line in regards their treatment of me, if a man said similar or behaved similar ways to a woman, they’d probably end up in court!
Welcome to the world of women
I have 4 sisters, no brothers, women can slap men for that and it’s acceptable, I can’t punch a gay guy for the same! Men are expected to just take it and laugh it off! Which I admit I do, I just take the piss out of them, but if I heard a man speak to one of my sisters in a similar fashion, he’d need an ambulance "
If you laugh it off which you admit you do then you are the one allowing and actually potentially enabling the behaviour and not putting any boundaries in place which does break that cycle. |
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Very valid topic, its okay to lust and live fantasies, be Male female or both in less angles of desire....live life and live it what way you and your partner or partners choose, being irish has it's dark areas and that's because we in control of the catholic church and the priest for confession gets aroused..... I love motorcycles and know I break the law every day to work but should I stop, stop for who? No one, drive on with life and regret nothing that doesn't hurt anyone else..... sorry for rant |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've told a few people I work with when one made a joke in a group I was having a coffee with one day
It felt good to say something to be honest but I also believe that its more acceptable on here to be a bi woman than a bi man.
I've never seen one profile saying " no bi women contact us" I see " no bi men contact us" every single day ....it's no wonder men hide it .
All that says to me is the male partner of that profile isn’t fully comfortable in their sexuality, or is, and doesn’t want a bi man trying to cross boundaries, as a straight man, what I’ve learned, is bi or gay men, can be pretty out of line when it comes to their behaviour!
I mean I’ve had gay men sexually harass and be quite vocally out of line in regards their treatment of me, if a man said similar or behaved similar ways to a woman, they’d probably end up in court!
Welcome to the world of women
I have 4 sisters, no brothers, women can slap men for that and it’s acceptable, I can’t punch a gay guy for the same! Men are expected to just take it and laugh it off! Which I admit I do, I just take the piss out of them, but if I heard a man speak to one of my sisters in a similar fashion, he’d need an ambulance
If you laugh it off which you admit you do then you are the one allowing and actually potentially enabling the behaviour and not putting any boundaries in place which doesn't break that cycle. "
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"I've told a few people I work with when one made a joke in a group I was having a coffee with one day
It felt good to say something to be honest but I also believe that its more acceptable on here to be a bi woman than a bi man.
I've never seen one profile saying " no bi women contact us" I see " no bi men contact us" every single day ....it's no wonder men hide it .
All that says to me is the male partner of that profile isn’t fully comfortable in their sexuality, or is, and doesn’t want a bi man trying to cross boundaries, as a straight man, what I’ve learned, is bi or gay men, can be pretty out of line when it comes to their behaviour!
I mean I’ve had gay men sexually harass and be quite vocally out of line in regards their treatment of me, if a man said similar or behaved similar ways to a woman, they’d probably end up in court!
Welcome to the world of women
I have 4 sisters, no brothers, women can slap men for that and it’s acceptable, I can’t punch a gay guy for the same! Men are expected to just take it and laugh it off! Which I admit I do, I just take the piss out of them, but if I heard a man speak to one of my sisters in a similar fashion, he’d need an ambulance
If you laugh it off which you admit you do then you are the one allowing and actually potentially enabling the behaviour and not putting any boundaries in place which does break that cycle. "
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"I've told a few people I work with when one made a joke in a group I was having a coffee with one day
It felt good to say something to be honest but I also believe that its more acceptable on here to be a bi woman than a bi man.
I've never seen one profile saying " no bi women contact us" I see " no bi men contact us" every single day ....it's no wonder men hide it .
All that says to me is the male partner of that profile isn’t fully comfortable in their sexuality, or is, and doesn’t want a bi man trying to cross boundaries, as a straight man, what I’ve learned, is bi or gay men, can be pretty out of line when it comes to their behaviour!
I mean I’ve had gay men sexually harass and be quite vocally out of line in regards their treatment of me, if a man said similar or behaved similar ways to a woman, they’d probably end up in court!
Welcome to the world of women
I have 4 sisters, no brothers, women can slap men for that and it’s acceptable, I can’t punch a gay guy for the same! Men are expected to just take it and laugh it off! Which I admit I do, I just take the piss out of them, but if I heard a man speak to one of my sisters in a similar fashion, he’d need an ambulance
If you laugh it off which you admit you do then you are the one allowing and actually potentially enabling the behaviour and not putting any boundaries in place which does break that cycle. "
Should have actually replied first I laugh it off because I’d rather not be someone who lowers themselves to react negatively to their behaviour |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've told a few people I work with when one made a joke in a group I was having a coffee with one day
It felt good to say something to be honest but I also believe that its more acceptable on here to be a bi woman than a bi man.
I've never seen one profile saying " no bi women contact us" I see " no bi men contact us" every single day ....it's no wonder men hide it .
All that says to me is the male partner of that profile isn’t fully comfortable in their sexuality, or is, and doesn’t want a bi man trying to cross boundaries, as a straight man, what I’ve learned, is bi or gay men, can be pretty out of line when it comes to their behaviour!
I mean I’ve had gay men sexually harass and be quite vocally out of line in regards their treatment of me, if a man said similar or behaved similar ways to a woman, they’d probably end up in court!
Welcome to the world of women
I have 4 sisters, no brothers, women can slap men for that and it’s acceptable, I can’t punch a gay guy for the same! Men are expected to just take it and laugh it off! Which I admit I do, I just take the piss out of them, but if I heard a man speak to one of my sisters in a similar fashion, he’d need an ambulance
If you laugh it off which you admit you do then you are the one allowing and actually potentially enabling the behaviour and not putting any boundaries in place which does break that cycle.
Should have actually replied first I laugh it off because I’d rather not be someone who lowers themselves to react negatively to their behaviour "
Putting boundaries are not a negative reaction they are quite positive and healthy actually. |
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"I've told a few people I work with when one made a joke in a group I was having a coffee with one day
It felt good to say something to be honest but I also believe that its more acceptable on here to be a bi woman than a bi man.
I've never seen one profile saying " no bi women contact us" I see " no bi men contact us" every single day ....it's no wonder men hide it .
All that says to me is the male partner of that profile isn’t fully comfortable in their sexuality, or is, and doesn’t want a bi man trying to cross boundaries, as a straight man, what I’ve learned, is bi or gay men, can be pretty out of line when it comes to their behaviour!
I mean I’ve had gay men sexually harass and be quite vocally out of line in regards their treatment of me, if a man said similar or behaved similar ways to a woman, they’d probably end up in court!
Welcome to the world of women
I have 4 sisters, no brothers, women can slap men for that and it’s acceptable, I can’t punch a gay guy for the same! Men are expected to just take it and laugh it off! Which I admit I do, I just take the piss out of them, but if I heard a man speak to one of my sisters in a similar fashion, he’d need an ambulance
If you laugh it off which you admit you do then you are the one allowing and actually potentially enabling the behaviour and not putting any boundaries in place which does break that cycle.
Should have actually replied first I laugh it off because I’d rather not be someone who lowers themselves to react negatively to their behaviour
Putting boundaries are not a negative reaction they are quite positive and healthy actually. "
Is that what women do when their sexually harassed and abused?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've told a few people I work with when one made a joke in a group I was having a coffee with one day
It felt good to say something to be honest but I also believe that its more acceptable on here to be a bi woman than a bi man.
I've never seen one profile saying " no bi women contact us" I see " no bi men contact us" every single day ....it's no wonder men hide it .
All that says to me is the male partner of that profile isn’t fully comfortable in their sexuality, or is, and doesn’t want a bi man trying to cross boundaries, as a straight man, what I’ve learned, is bi or gay men, can be pretty out of line when it comes to their behaviour!
I mean I’ve had gay men sexually harass and be quite vocally out of line in regards their treatment of me, if a man said similar or behaved similar ways to a woman, they’d probably end up in court!
Welcome to the world of women
I have 4 sisters, no brothers, women can slap men for that and it’s acceptable, I can’t punch a gay guy for the same! Men are expected to just take it and laugh it off! Which I admit I do, I just take the piss out of them, but if I heard a man speak to one of my sisters in a similar fashion, he’d need an ambulance
If you laugh it off which you admit you do then you are the one allowing and actually potentially enabling the behaviour and not putting any boundaries in place which does break that cycle.
Should have actually replied first I laugh it off because I’d rather not be someone who lowers themselves to react negatively to their behaviour
Putting boundaries are not a negative reaction they are quite positive and healthy actually.
Is that what women do when their sexually harassed and abused?? "
I would imagine that's what any human being would do when dealing with these situations in the correct manner. |
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By *NawtyCpl OP Couple
over a year ago
Around and about |
"Seeing as how its pride month, I have a question.
Lots of wonderful folk on here identify as bi and yes, we know there is bi and theres fab bi and they are not the same.
Are there many who are out as bi? Many in hetero relationships whose family ( outside of partner) know they are bi?
I've often thought about it but for now, it's just between myself and MrN
Great topic OP, I have been talking about this to someone on the outside looking in and one or two in the swing circle aswell. I have disclosed my sexualality to one close family member and to a few close friends outside of swing. I was encouraged not to be carrying shame for the sexual being within myself which i am slowly working on, good friends or family won't judge no matter what, they will be supportive. However i am still cautious who i open up to but my main aim is to be kind and loving to myself as a whole, the good, the bad and indifferent that makes me who i am . "
I like this
I know my family would welcome me with open arms, straight, bi,gay or any orientation under the rainbow. But I also know there will be digging and conversations and questions.
It would almost be easier if I had a period of being single that i could say I experimented in.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Seeing as how its pride month, I have a question.
Lots of wonderful folk on here identify as bi and yes, we know there is bi and theres fab bi and they are not the same.
Are there many who are out as bi? Many in hetero relationships whose family ( outside of partner) know they are bi?
I've often thought about it but for now, it's just between myself and MrN
Great topic OP, I have been talking about this to someone on the outside looking in and one or two in the swing circle aswell. I have disclosed my sexualality to one close family member and to a few close friends outside of swing. I was encouraged not to be carrying shame for the sexual being within myself which i am slowly working on, good friends or family won't judge no matter what, they will be supportive. However i am still cautious who i open up to but my main aim is to be kind and loving to myself as a whole, the good, the bad and indifferent that makes me who i am .
I like this
I know my family would welcome me with open arms, straight, bi,gay or any orientation under the rainbow. But I also know there will be digging and conversations and questions.
It would almost be easier if I had a period of being single that i could say I experimented in.
"
What's wrong with telling the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth whatever that is , if it's that both of you found this lifestyle together and discovered ye'rselves here then so be it. You might be surprised if you explain how difficult it is for ye to express ye're selves to them and that Yr would prefer not to be asked a million awkward questions all at once lol.
I am sure that they would respect that and give ye the time that ye need to discuss it, or they might also find it awkward to discuss right away. It's carrying the shame and possibly guilt as though we are doing something total wrong that eats us up inside, I think it's not healthy anyway but easier said than done aswell, little by little maybe start with telling one or two first and let the communication happen between them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Only a minority of my friends know that I'm bi and it's not because I'm trying to hide it. I just think that who I have sex with and what the gender of my partners is really none of their business. |
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"Only a minority of my friends know that I'm bi and it's not because I'm trying to hide it. I just think that who I have sex with and what the gender of my partners is really none of their business."
This  |
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I wouldn't be supporting of a "don't ask don't tell" policy. I'd be more of a "here's me, fuck you if you don't like it" kinda person. Nearly everyone knows we are sexually open and Laura is bi-bi not fab-bi. |
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By *yche_xWoman
over a year ago
nearby |
"Seeing as how its pride month, I have a question.
Lots of wonderful folk on here identify as bi and yes, we know there is bi and theres fab bi and they are not the same.
Are there many who are out as bi? Many in hetero relationships whose family ( outside of partner) know they are bi?
I've often thought about it but for now, it's just between myself and MrN "
I am bi-sexual, I came out to my family at 18 when I brought my first girlfriend home. Now most of my family also know I am here with my partner who is also bi.
I have always encouraged open and honest conversations at home and with my friends, which I believe has allowed the people around me to speak openly about sex and relationships. The conversations around my dinner table I imagine are not typical of normal homes lol.
I do believe there is more of a stigma towards Bisexual men. Which is not good. Especially in this day in age. It has always seemed a bisexual woman is so much more accepted. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The term fab straight is massively counter productive. And it's only ever used towards men on here.
You want to experiment with men? Oh you must change your status as soon as you see that cock or your vilified!!!!
The sooner people stop caring about how others label themselves on here the sooner fab can sneer at the rest of the world for not being as Open minded |
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By *1CorkCouple
over a year ago
Cork |
We feel there’s a pressure on female half of couples to be some bit bi in the swinging world… otherwise you are ruled out by many couples. Our Mrs is straight but would be bi playful with right woman; her play being limited to kissing and touching but not oral. Another great description we’ve read on someone’s profile that we feel applies is that Mrs is spaghetti - straight until wet. We feel this meets threshold of bi curious in the swinging world but in real world wouldn’t feel this blurs fact she is straight. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't be supporting of a "don't ask don't tell" policy. I'd be more of a "here's me, fuck you if you don't like it" kinda person. Nearly everyone knows we are sexually open and Laura is bi-bi not fab-bi."
I like this attitude |
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"The term fab straight is massively counter productive. And it's only ever used towards men on here.
You want to experiment with men? Oh you must change your status as soon as you see that cock or your vilified!!!!
The sooner people stop caring about how others label themselves on here the sooner fab can sneer at the rest of the world for not being as Open minded"
I agree, live and let live - I personally couldn't care less how anyone identifies sexually or who they've had intercourse with as long as it's mutually consensual and no-one is harmed.
I also am one of those women who finds bisexual men a massive turn on - unlucky for me, my partner is very straight  and therefore a boundary of his which I respect and expect others to as well!
But...
There are (unfortunately) women who have issues with homo/gay/bi/bicurious men (for whatever reason) and they do not want to engage/have sex with a man who has gone there. This is a boundary.
Boundaries are expressed to be RESPECTED!!!
And I personally take contention to those who deceive and lie about their sexuality in order to cross those boundaries, or in this case - to have sex with a woman who clearly states that she doesn't want to have sex with a man who had sex with another man, however discriminatory they may seem or feel.
The same goes for any other boundary which is clearly communicated, however it may be perceived by another!!!
Many women have communicated certain boundaries on their profiles, admittedly some in what may come across as in an entitled fashion or rude manner and these boundaries are crossed daily on this site. Common examples being cock pics, no attached without permission, no bisexual men, no drugs etc...
And I don't like to bang on about men who cross women's or couple's boundaries here because God, you lot get some bashing here and I hate these generalisations. We all know that women and couples are just as guilty of doing the same and are rarely called out for it! |
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By *indenMan
over a year ago
Naas which is South West of Dublin |
"Sorry, my bad. I was more referring to the action not the reaction.
Women experience what you described in far more abundance than men typically.
Reactions, be they violent or not are subjective.
Ohh I wasn’t trying to one up anyone, just saying that as a straight man, sexual abuse and harassment is just as bad and prolific for us, unfortunately though, most cases are probably referred and seen as Homophobic attacks, by men who aren’t as non violent as I am. But hey, men should be able to take it! "
You’re having a laugh aren’t you?
I don’t believe that sexual abuse and harassment is just as prolific for men either here or anywhere else for that matter.
And if it is the case, why is it any different for a man being abused or harassed than a woman?
Men are entitled to the same level of protection from this sort of thing as anyone else.
And this “But hey, men should be able to take it!” thing is bullshit…. |
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By *NawtyCpl OP Couple
over a year ago
Around and about |
Anyway, the point of the thread was not to say what is right or wrong or have anyone justify their own boundaries or sexualality. We all agree everyone has the right to just be themselves.
The question was more if you are Bi on here or part of a Bi couple, how many are also Bi to friends and family and how many just keep it to themselves within the lifestyle |
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By *indenMan
over a year ago
Naas which is South West of Dublin |
"Nice Pineapple "
Thanks, it’s part of a healthy balanced diet, the meat and two veg are just out of view…. 
But to answer your question, I suspect that most people would keep their sexuality and preferences to themselves and the lifestyle as it may have little or no effect or impact on their life outside. |
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"Sorry, my bad. I was more referring to the action not the reaction.
Women experience what you described in far more abundance than men typically.
Reactions, be they violent or not are subjective.
Ohh I wasn’t trying to one up anyone, just saying that as a straight man, sexual abuse and harassment is just as bad and prolific for us, unfortunately though, most cases are probably referred and seen as Homophobic attacks, by men who aren’t as non violent as I am. But hey, men should be able to take it!
You’re having a laugh aren’t you?
I don’t believe that sexual abuse and harassment is just as prolific for men either here or anywhere else for that matter.
And if it is the case, why is it any different for a man being abused or harassed than a woman?
Men are entitled to the same level of protection from this sort of thing as anyone else.
And this “But hey, men should be able to take it!” thing is bullshit…."
I wholeheartedly agree, and it’s not near as prolific for men, what I was saying is from my own experiences! And no it is not ok for anyone to experience it!
But sorry for taking thread off topic, my original comment was in regards the fact people in Ireland still feel the need to hide who they are. Personally, to each their own, anyone who isn’t ok with who a person is, doesn’t need to be in their lives. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Only a minority of my friends know that I'm bi and it's not because I'm trying to hide it. I just think that who I have sex with and what the gender of my partners is really none of their business."
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seeing as how its pride month, I have a question.
Lots of wonderful folk on here identify as bi and yes, we know there is bi and theres fab bi and they are not the same.
Are there many who are out as bi? Many in hetero relationships whose family ( outside of partner) know they are bi?
I've often thought about it but for now, it's just between myself and MrN "
I never had a big coming out as bi but my close friends and family know. Not that I'm not proud or anything, and I would still be afraid to tell some family members, but I do feel it's my business and no one else's. |
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I'm out decades now, friends and family and some work colleagues know (and that's just cos I'm kinda new there!)
Bi visibility matters, cos I know how much invisibility can hurt. So I'm as open as I can be cos it's not just about me. And that's why Pride still matters to me. |
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No one of my close friends knows that I would potentially have sex with a guy – but since I haven't yet and it would have to be under the right circumstances – I don't feel there's a need to come out, as I'm also not romantically attracted to them. I might tell one or two of my friends once I do, but then I also don't usually discuss sex in general with a lot of people – especially not my family.
Although my mom did at some point ask me very casually if I was gay when I didn't get a girlfriend for quite a while as a young adult. 
My future wife, who is the only one that really matters, knows all about the nuances of my sexuality and we actually had a very similar discussion to this one just yesterday evening
Happy pride month everyone |
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By *inxySTV/TS
over a year ago
dublin |
Such an interesting thread for many reasons. It's great to see any conversation around bi sexuality with the variations and terms we use.
Personally my choices were made for me in my own mind when I was pretty young so it wasn't a conscious adult decision, it's just who I am.
The difficulty is when trying to explain the why's of it to people, why don't you come out and what are you afraid of etc. Each one of us here has a different set of circumstances that dictate what we can let out. In the grand scheme of things the online world doesn't matter but our close family and friends often choose our path for us when it comes to coming out. It's all well and good saying fuck them but just because someone can't understand my choices I'm not going to make my own life unbearable to tell all around me about my alter ego. I'm lucky enough to have a small few real world people who know and I'm happy with my lot.
I've talked to so many females and couples here that aren't bi (to my knowledge, none of my business) and they can respect my choices and kinks while others choose to openly shun bi guys and not so much females. Preference is a wonderful thing when accompanied by common decency and manners.
It's a topic I could ramble on and on about so I'll stop now. Thanks to OP for posting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Interesting thread..
I think a person's sexuality is no one's business but their own. There's a whole spectrum on sexuality types. It's fascinating, irish people werent thought that in education...hmm I wonder why lol
The term fab bi is very narrow minded for an alternative lifestyle site and it reeks of ignorance and negative projection. as someone said shaming men in general for exploring their sexuality.
The persons approval that's needed the most is there own ,not external validation or acceptance from family and friends who really don't care, as they have their own stuff going on . Get over your self.
If People have an issue with your sexuality ....move on and stop waisting your time on ignorance..life is far too short to be asking permission to be your self.
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By *inxySTV/TS
over a year ago
dublin |
"Interesting thread..
If People have an issue with your sexuality ....move on and stop waisting your time on ignorance..life is far too short to be asking permission to be your self.
It's a nice sentiment but it's not how the real world works. If it was then every single person on fab wouldn't care if their family and friends knew what they get up to. Even in my situation i need to balance my friendships and mental health. I never felt the need to tell the world but I have a huge amount of empathy for trans friends who regret losing so much when coming out. It's never as simple as saying fuck anyone who doesn't accept you
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Interesting thread..
If People have an issue with your sexuality ....move on and stop waisting your time on ignorance..life is far too short to be asking permission to be your self.
It's a nice sentiment but it's not how the real world works. If it was then every single person on fab wouldn't care if their family and friends knew what they get up to. Even in my situation i need to balance my friendships and mental health. I never felt the need to tell the world but I have a huge amount of empathy for trans friends who regret losing so much when coming out. It's never as simple as saying fuck anyone who doesn't accept you
It's not simple and i am living in the real world. People complicate stuff when fear and isolation is influenceing their process. I emphatically recognise and support this.
i never said to tell people go fuck themselves these are your words ....
Move on I said .Move on with peace if someone doesn't accept me . Its not my problem ... seek like minded people who will take you as they find you and are some what aligned to your values set and life style . They are out there in the real world.
I prefer having less people who get me and celebrate my individuality "that loads of people I'm hiding my true self from fearing rejection and disapproval. Life is too short.
"
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"Interesting thread..
If People have an issue with your sexuality ....move on and stop waisting your time on ignorance..life is far too short to be asking permission to be your self.
It's a nice sentiment but it's not how the real world works. If it was then every single person on fab wouldn't care if their family and friends knew what they get up to. Even in my situation i need to balance my friendships and mental health. I never felt the need to tell the world but I have a huge amount of empathy for trans friends who regret losing so much when coming out. It's never as simple as saying fuck anyone who doesn't accept you
"
Nearly all our friends and family DO know what we do. We are very open. We've had positive and negative reactions.. but anyone who really knows us expresses a total lack of surprise lol. Life is too short to worry about people who aren't accepting. Move up and leave them behind. |
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By *inxySTV/TS
over a year ago
dublin |
"Interesting thread..
If People have an issue with your sexuality ....move on and stop waisting your time on ignorance..life is far too short to be asking permission to be your self.
It's a nice sentiment but it's not how the real world works. If it was then every single person on fab wouldn't care if their family and friends knew what they get up to. Even in my situation i need to balance my friendships and mental health. I never felt the need to tell the world but I have a huge amount of empathy for trans friends who regret losing so much when coming out. It's never as simple as saying fuck anyone who doesn't accept you
Nearly all our friends and family DO know what we do. We are very open. We've had positive and negative reactions.. but anyone who really knows us expresses a total lack of surprise lol. Life is too short to worry about people who aren't accepting. Move up and leave them behind."
It's great that they "DO" know and you are in a very privileged position. Put yourself in the shoes of a younger male of female who hasn't got the support of a partner friends or family yet. Saying life is to short isn't really showing much understanding of the struggles many face.
Your situation is a fantastic place to be but rare |
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I'm mostly responding to the suggestion that swingers are not open about what they do... but some of us are and don't hide it at all.
I do realise it's not the same thing as coming out for other people. |
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