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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi fabbers I would like to know people's different views on jealousy, when building swing friendships/relationships? Is there such a thing as a healthy/unhealthy kind and how do people deal with it, i know everyone is different.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I feel that some jealousy can help everyone improve their life through understanding where the emotion came from.
If one feels that the emotion stems from something within their control then one could adapt their lifestyle to moderate one's emotions.
Should the emotion grow from something beyond one's control then a choice must be made on whether one can manage that feeling for the rest of one's life.
As above, if another's emotion is affecting your lifestyle negatively then one must weigh the value of their affects on your own well being. |
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By *s LollyWoman
over a year ago
The pub then supermacs ... |
As a single person on here i wouldn't be a jealous person per say but if i was meeting someone regularly and being intimate with them i could see how jealous could set especially if they were seeing other people aswell,if it got to the stage it was eating me up thinking about them id step back from them and also from fab.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always find it strange how people get jealous on here, I know its a natural emotion but it's a swinger site and of its casual sex why bring jealousy into it.
I've been on the end of it when chatting and flirting with guys, have got kicked from chat groups because of it, have heard stories back etc.
If you with someone and starting to get jealous of them chatting or meeting other people on here you need to take a step back and look at what you want. I had a fwb for a few months on here and knew he was meeting other people it never bothered me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I feel that some jealousy can help everyone improve their life through understanding where the emotion came from.
If one feels that the emotion stems from something within their control then one could adapt their lifestyle to moderate one's emotions.
Should the emotion grow from something beyond one's control then a choice must be made on whether one can manage that feeling for the rest of one's life.
As above, if another's emotion is affecting your lifestyle negatively then one must weigh the value of their affects on your own well being."
Thanks for this yes that's how i feel it's effecting me negatively but things are laid out up front so I don't understand then. I know it's something that can be worked on in some people and others are maybe not cut out for it, i enjoy listening to someone i am playing with telling me about their play or meets. This turns me on but when one doesn't know how to work it and the jealousy come in and i begin to feel like i am doing something wrong and i am being honest. |
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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago
Newry Down |
Jealousy, by definition is connected to possessivness and insecurity and is more associated with fill-time couples who decide to swing; if for example the fem sees that her male partner is enjoying the fem of another couple she may be jealous of this because of her insecurity and ownership of him in a permanent relationship.
However, in an ad hoc and temporary relationship that is not permanent, such as marriage, then jealousy should not arise if this couple have thoroughly discussed their arrangement, are secure in themselves, and thus both have the freedom to act as they please, within meets.
As with most issues in life communication is the key and agreeing foursome groundrules; it is difficult to get everyone onto the same page in a foursome and there should be an agreed signal, a word, that terminates the meet if one partner is not happy; for example if the other couple are d*unk, or break the no BB rule.
A sound verbal agreement sets the rules and the tone of the arrangement.
However, some people are inherently jealous or envious, for a variety of reasons; and from my own experience that can be problematic; possibly leading to a termination.
Swinging should enable a couple to explore new sexual possibilities; it can never be successful used to solve other unresolved issues, such as jealousy; in my opinion!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Jealousy is a completely human emotion and completely natural. It does creep in now and again with me but I always remember I'm the one she has built a life with not them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi fabbers I would like to know people's different views on jealousy, when building swing friendships/relationships? Is there such a thing as a healthy/unhealthy kind and how do people deal with it, i know everyone is different. "
On a previous profile a few years back I had a regular girl I met.... always got on well and more than just sexually but we both understood about meeting others and tbh it usually resulted in mind blowing horny sex between us when we told the other about our other meets and maybe even looked at pics/vids of these too. If there’s a hint of jealousy I’m afraid you have to bail out. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Jealousy, by definition is connected to possessivness and insecurity and is more associated with fill-time couples who decide to swing; if for example the fem sees that her male partner is enjoying the fem of another couple she may be jealous of this because of her insecurity and ownership of him in a permanent relationship.
However, in an ad hoc and temporary relationship that is not permanent, such as marriage, then jealousy should not arise if this couple have thoroughly discussed their arrangement, are secure in themselves, and thus both have the freedom to act as they please, within meets.
As with most issues in life communication is the key and agreeing foursome groundrules; it is difficult to get everyone onto the same page in a foursome and there should be an agreed signal, a word, that terminates the meet if one partner is not happy; for example if the other couple are d*unk, or break the no BB rule.
A sound verbal agreement sets the rules and the tone of the arrangement.
However, some people are inherently jealous or envious, for a variety of reasons; and from my own experience that can be problematic; possibly leading to a termination.
Swinging should enable a couple to explore new sexual possibilities; it can never be successful used to solve other unresolved issues, such as jealousy; in my opinion!
"
Yeah thanks and that's with full time couples so i am talking about just building casual friendships/relationships with a view to more serious relationship. So if this happens early on in the friendship do you think it could be worked on over time or is it a big no no from the get go. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Yeah thanks and that's with full time couples so i am talking about just building casual friendships/relationships with a view to more serious relationship. So if this happens early on in the friendship do you think it could be worked on over time or is it a big no no from the get go."
I would consider it a difficult hurdle but someone has to adapt to improve the relationship. If the negativity grows so will the difficulty to adapt and emotional strenght to progress. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Two of the worse words that can be used when your seeing someone, jealousy and paranoia!!!!
So hard to convince a person that there's nothing to worry about about!!!
Tell me about it!!
Its melted my head and heart!!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi fabbers I would like to know people's different views on jealousy, when building swing friendships/relationships? Is there such a thing as a healthy/unhealthy kind and how do people deal with it, i know everyone is different. "
I think swing relationships/friendships don’t a abide by the usual rules that we hold regular relationships.
With that being said there are still major red flags. I think a bit of jealousy is expected because we’re all human at the end of the day. if you get into a swing relationship / friendship with somebody and became jealous of them being with other people, well, what did you expect ?? The nature of the friendship / relationship isn’t exactly inclusive |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hi fabbers I would like to know people's different views on jealousy, when building swing friendships/relationships? Is there such a thing as a healthy/unhealthy kind and how do people deal with it, i know everyone is different.
I think swing relationships/friendships don’t a abide by the usual rules that we hold regular relationships.
With that being said there are still major red flags. I think a bit of jealousy is expected because we’re all human at the end of the day. if you get into a swing relationship / friendship with somebody and became jealous of them being with other people, well, what did you expect ?? The nature of the friendship / relationship isn’t exactly inclusive "
I didn't get jealous at all you didn't read above, i said i enjoy listening to the experiences of another am playing with or seeing with permission of course. It's when the other is showing signs if jealousy. |
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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago
Newry Down |
"Jealousy, by definition...
Yeah thanks and that's with full time couples so i am talking about just building casual friendships/relationships with a view to more serious relationship. So if this happens early on in the friendship do you think it could be worked on over time or is it a big no no from the get go."
I think it is necessary to decide what you are really looking for, initially and in the longer term; do you want a purely casual swinging relationship where you meet other couples; or do you really want to have a permanent relationship but with a focus on swinging.
They are very different.
Everything can be openly discussed and fully worked through, but both parties need to be broadly on the same page.
This being a popular swingers site, the vast majority just want NSA, no strings attached sex with others who are at least theoretically like-minded.
But people here have a vast range of preferences.
For example, some men might find it difficult to watch his fem partner using a strapon on another woman or pegging another guy; or not!
In Scandinavia, I have read in research about swinging, penetrative contact between men who do not identify as bi, at group meets is accepted and sometimes expected.
Scandinavia is a very different culture!
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Jealousy can be affection or adoration projected in an unflattering light.
Jealousy rooted in affection warrants understanding,
Jealousy rooted in control/position warrants a review of what has lead this person to think they can have control.
Or feck it maybe sharing is caring ... swapsees   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Jealousy, by definition...
Yeah thanks and that's with full time couples so i am talking about just building casual friendships/relationships with a view to more serious relationship. So if this happens early on in the friendship do you think it could be worked on over time or is it a big no no from the get go.
I think it is necessary to decide what you are really looking for, initially and in the longer term; do you want a purely casual swinging relationship where you meet other couples; or do you really want to have a permanent relationship but with a focus on swinging.
They are very different.
Everything can be openly discussed and fully worked through, but both parties need to be broadly on the same page.
This being a popular swingers site, the vast majority just want NSA, no strings attached sex with others who are at least theoretically like-minded.
But people here have a vast range of preferences.
For example, some men might find it difficult to watch his fem partner using a strapon on another woman or pegging another guy; or not!
In Scandinavia, I have read in research about swinging, penetrative contact between men who do not identify as bi, at group meets is accepted and sometimes expected.
Scandinavia is a very different culture!
"
I feel i am definitely ready for something more permanent with swing focus hence why i gave up "normal" dating seeing as i have accepted long ago that I am not "normal' lol. I am just dating fabbers now with a view to something more permanent but of course that begins some what casual and either processes nicely or not i guess. |
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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago
Newry Down |
"Jealousy, by definition...
Yeah thanks and that's with full time couples so i am talking about just building casual friendships/relationships with a view to more serious relationship. So if this happens early on in the friendship do you think it could be worked on over time or is it a big no no from the get go.
I think it is necessary to decide what you are really looking for, initially and in the longer term; do you want a purely casual swinging relationship where you meet other couples; or do you really want to have a permanent relationship but with a focus on swinging.
They are very different.
Everything can be openly discussed and fully worked through, but both parties need to be broadly on the same page.
This being a popular swingers site, the vast majority just want NSA, no strings attached sex with others who are at least theoretically like-minded.
But people here have a vast range of preferences.
For example, some men might find it difficult to watch his fem partner using a strapon on another woman or pegging another guy; or not!
In Scandinavia, I have read in research about swinging, penetrative contact between men who do not identify as bi, at group meets is accepted and sometimes expected.
Scandinavia is a very different culture!
I feel i am definitely ready for something more permanent with swing focus hence why i gave up "normal" dating seeing as i have accepted long ago that I am not "normal' lol. I am just dating fabbers now with a view to something more permanent but of course that begins some what casual and either processes nicely or not i guess. "
The ideal outcome on this site, from my perspective, is to build up a list of contacts who are discreet, circumspect and are able to meet each other's diverse sexual needs in a comfortable respectful manner.
I do not use dating sites because I know roughly what I am dealing with here: a diverse group of educated intelligent individuals who have set out their swinging stall.
Covid has stalled the plan, but that will change as normality gradually returns. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi fabbers I would like to know people's different views on jealousy, when building swing friendships/relationships? Is there such a thing as a healthy/unhealthy kind and how do people deal with it, i know everyone is different.
I think swing relationships/friendships don’t a abide by the usual rules that we hold regular relationships.
With that being said there are still major red flags. I think a bit of jealousy is expected because we’re all human at the end of the day. if you get into a swing relationship / friendship with somebody and became jealous of them being with other people, well, what did you expect ?? The nature of the friendship / relationship isn’t exactly inclusive
I didn't get jealous at all you didn't read above, i said i enjoy listening to the experiences of another am playing with or seeing with permission of course. It's when the other is showing signs if jealousy. "
Oh my mistake ! I didn’t mean you specifically just voicing a thought in general haha I should have worded my reply better ! |
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"Dont think theres room in swinginging for jealousy. If your not very comfortable with your partner fucking someone else, it isnt for you. Just our opinion. Jack"
Agree with this. If we ever felt jealous of each other or of those with our partner, then we'd have issues which needed to be addressed and we'd leave the lifestyle. Jealousy is a destructive emotion which is a big red flag in any relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm on and of fab for for nearly 10years and I've total respect for couples here, it takes a strong relationship if your into swinging, there's no room for jealousy in this lifestyle.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jealousy is a natural emotion. Learning to deal with it is part of swinging. Realising its ok and not let it ruin your relationship. All part of the trust and communication as a couple.
Well Said
Roxy x "
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