FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Why is being kinky so favourable?
Why is being kinky so favourable?
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By *anandJ OP Couple
over a year ago
Citywest |
My are “normal” marriage. Two normal people who love each other and love sex.
When I say “normal” I mean- we don’t bit the shit of each other or others to feel satisfied, we don’t take pain for pleasure. We don’t crate home Porn with everyone we have sex with. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that if you do that it’s wrong because who am into judge…
It is our observation that majority of people expect that everyone is “kinky”; but what with “vanilla people in the lifestyle? What if we just want to enjoy company of others, enjoying sex, enjoying theirs bodies etc… are we the only ones? |
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To be honest, I'm not entirely sure how being kinky is actually defined. I think being kinky means different things for different people. e.g. Is anal play kinky? Is there a difference if it's being done on a man (pegging)?
Someone might say being non-monogamous is already very kinky. Others put the line quite somewhere else and think that if you're not bound up, unable to move and having marks all over afterwards you're doing it wrong.
Fact is: the only way of doing it wrong is not enjoying yourself.
I for one enjoy many different things and will always try to find the lowest common denominator between me and my partners, although that's a matter of good communication, which I believe is vital in any kind of relationship, be in sexual or otherwise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't think there's a definite kinky definition, what's kinky to you might not be kinky to me. I guess it's learning what you do like and don't like.
I sometimes feel I'm way too vanilla for here but I'm still here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good question OP.
I kinda felt i was in the wrong place initially in terms of my preferences.
But ive learnt that its a spectrum and some people see just being on the site as kinky, or having photos up as kinky.
So wherever you are with it is where you are, what you like is good for you and enjoying yourselves while you are comfortable is the main thing.
I do find the longer Im here the more openminded i become but essentially im with you, i look for the connection and intimacy of 1-1 pleasure. |
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By *anandJ OP Couple
over a year ago
Citywest |
"
I do find the longer Im here the more openminded i become but essentially im with you, i look for the connection and intimacy of 1-1 pleasure. "
We understand that growing in to lifestyle in natural. But at the same time - even tho we are more and more open - we more and more crave for this 101 intimacy… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I do find the longer Im here the more openminded i become but essentially im with you, i look for the connection and intimacy of 1-1 pleasure.
We understand that growing in to lifestyle in natural. But at the same time - even tho we are more and more open - we more and more crave for this 101 intimacy…"
Has that craving for 1 on 1 intimacy and been on here made your relationship stronger?
I know for me I'm really only interested in 1 on 1, can't see the parry etc scene been my thing but I'm sometimes wonder is that insecurities, even the thought of playing with a couple, I think I'd spend too much time thinking oh she looks better than me etc that i wouldn't enjoy. I definitely know I need to " get out of my head" more |
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By *anandJ OP Couple
over a year ago
Citywest |
"
Has that craving for 1 on 1 intimacy and been on here made your relationship stronger?
I know for me I'm really only interested in 1 on 1, can't see the parry etc scene been my thing but I'm sometimes wonder is that insecurities, even the thought of playing with a couple, I think I'd spend too much time thinking oh she looks better than me etc that i wouldn't enjoy. I definitely know I need to " get out of my head" more "
To be honest i don’t think being in the Lifestyle can make us stronger or weaker… same as having dinner with friends have no impact on our personal relationship.
By one to one intimacy to mean being close to a person. Not just a senseless fuck… if you know what I mean. And it doesn’t have to be a your hubby or wife… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Has that craving for 1 on 1 intimacy and been on here made your relationship stronger?
I know for me I'm really only interested in 1 on 1, can't see the parry etc scene been my thing but I'm sometimes wonder is that insecurities, even the thought of playing with a couple, I think I'd spend too much time thinking oh she looks better than me etc that i wouldn't enjoy. I definitely know I need to " get out of my head" more
To be honest i don’t think being in the Lifestyle can make us stronger or weaker… same as having dinner with friends have no impact on our personal relationship.
By one to one intimacy to mean being close to a person. Not just a senseless fuck… if you know what I mean. And it doesn’t have to be a your hubby or wife… "
Ya totally agree on the not wanting the senseless fuck, I think you get to enjoy the sex more when you know the person, their likes your likes etc |
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By *anandJ OP Couple
over a year ago
Citywest |
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Don't knock it til you've tried it...."
We don’t. We do tray different stuff but only out of our own curiosity. Sometimes it feel like there is a bit of a pressure from within the lifestyle tho. |
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"
Don't knock it til you've tried it....
We don’t. We do tray different stuff but only out of our own curiosity. Sometimes it feel like there is a bit of a pressure from within the lifestyle tho. "
I was joking by saying that don't knock it til you try it ...it really depends what you define as vanilla or kinky I suppose...just my point of view but I find swinging kinky does that make it kinky? Because it doesn't sound vanilla to me either! Suppose maybe different cause am into kinky things and am single...for me being with a fella one to one its not for me as its pretty vanilla for me .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Kink is defined as “consensual, non-traditional sexual, sensual, and intimate behaviors such as sadomasochism, domination and submission, erotic roleplaying, fetishism, and erotic forms of discipline.
Hope it helped  |
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I'd view kink as anything outside societal norms.
You could very easily argue that swinging is a kinky lifestyle.
Ultimately we all have some levels of kinks or desires. Whatever extent we act on them is personal preference and once everyone's happy I wouldn't get worked up about putting a label on it.
Just enjoy what works for ye and whoever ye are involved with. There's nothing wrong with a comfort zone or sometimes stretching outside it! |
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As Rubs so eloquently put it, kink is a spectrum.
I remember chatting to a guy for a while and he asked if I gave blowjobs. That was his version of kinky. Mine would be slightly different but again, I’m not kinky in comparison to a good few people but then I am compared to others.
I also have recently rediscovered a lot of kinks because I’m in a safe and secure environment.
Don’t ever let anyone decide what your proclivities are and aren’t. They’re yours. That doesn’t have to be answered to. |
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People who are kinky need to communicate their kinkyness in order to get what they want. That's why you read a lot about it on profiles here. Its not always easy in real life to be open about what kinks you are looking for. Fab is a liberated space where we can be open about what we are, and what we are looking for. Don't ask don't get. People who don't share the same kinks as others might be surprised by this becasue here is different to real life. Even if I don't understand why someone finds something horny, I would still defend their right to openly look for it, and that means people who aren't into in hearing about it. Usual age/consent/safety rules apply. |
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By *adylaceWoman
over a year ago
Waterford City |
Kinky is definitely a spectrum. I would be classed as kinkier than some people here but to others I would be classed as tame and I find that even my kinkiness depends on my mood. Sometimes I want all the kink and sometimes all I want is soft intimate fun with someone 1 on 1. It doesn't have to be one way or the other. |
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I have certain preferences that would entice me to play with a person who shares my preferences. However I don’t judge anyone for what they enjoy  having said that I’d probably not be pushed meeting anyone if o don’t think we’re compatable |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Kinky is definitely a spectrum. I would be classed as kinkier than some people here but to others I would be classed as tame and I find that even my kinkiness depends on my mood. Sometimes I want all the kink and sometimes all I want is soft intimate fun with someone 1 on 1. It doesn't have to be one way or the other. "
This 
It absolutely depends on what your mind and body is looking for at that time... although there is always the best intimacy after a hot kinky session... |
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