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D.I.V.O.R.C,E
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So, you’ve seen the forum posts on groups for Married (cheaters), you’ve seen the posts on bi groups, you’ve seen the posts on groups for single females etc etc …..so how about a group for people who have been through the big D?…..
Although a lot of us laugh and joke about our own divorces, it can be s very difficult time for some folk and having long lasting effects. Me personally, I absolutely hated women for quite a few years but I’m over thst now and have come out the other side smiling.
So, basically, in a nutshell, would a group for divorcees be a good way of meeting other similar people and who wouid be interested?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good idea ! Can't say I have come across many divorced men here ,and on hearing my divorced status most people instantly think I'm a man hater,and emotionally fucked up , then they tell me they are sorry my husband left me ,truth is I divorced him ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No marred but going through a separation after 6 years,hard have a kid,told a co worker, you don't look disappointed, no it was over a long time ago for me,no one man or women should take abuse fiscally or verbly... |
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I'm divorced. Luckily my ex and I get on fine and we work together coparenting our kids. It took a long time to get paperwork and legal bits done though mostly because we are both quite easy going. Planning wedding #2 now!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm divorced. Luckily my ex and I get on fine and we work together coparenting our kids. It took a long time to get paperwork and legal bits done though mostly because we are both quite easy going. Planning wedding #2 now!
"
best for luck with it.. |
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"I'm divorced. Luckily my ex and I get on fine and we work together coparenting our kids. It took a long time to get paperwork and legal bits done though mostly because we are both quite easy going. Planning wedding #2 now!
best for luck with it.."
Thanks. I know I'm lucky. I realise a lot of people have a really really horrible experience, but life will continue and you can be happy again  |
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I think this is a great idea. As nice as other people can be, there's a different in the understanding and emotional support from someone who has been there or going through it too. Different priorities and emotional scars as well. Biggest thing I find is if there are kids, then hoping that access schedules match up well between people is probably the biggest issue though! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No marred but going through a separation after 6 years,hard have a kid,told a co worker, you don't look disappointed, no it was over a long time ago for me,no one man or women should take abuse fiscally or verbly..."
Totally relate to this. The sense of relief was incredible |
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I’m in the middle of divorce procedure too , hard at first but we are friends now because we have to as theirs a Kid involved, I joined this group for a relief of
It all it’s a DIY divorce we are going through it’s hell of a lot cheaper but very slow to get through paperwork! We just had a tough goings on with miscarriages that set us apart no cheating was done on both sides |
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"Lots of divorced people here I’d say, it’s not the exclusive club it once was…"
Thank god! It needs to be ok to divorce, and the taboo needs to be gone. There is no shame in each going your own way if needs be. |
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By *indenMan
over a year ago
Naas which is South West of Dublin |
"Lots of divorced people here I’d say, it’s not the exclusive club it once was…
Thank god! It needs to be ok to divorce, and the taboo needs to be gone. There is no shame in each going your own way if needs be."
There’s definitely still a stigma about being divorced, not saying it’s necessarily in here but I’m t exists…
Good luck to anyone going through it, keep it amicable if at all possible, the alternative is exceptionally unpleasant to say the least….. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lots of divorced people here I’d say, it’s not the exclusive club it once was…
Thank god! It needs to be ok to divorce, and the taboo needs to be gone. There is no shame in each going your own way if needs be.
There’s definitely still a stigma about being divorced, not saying it’s necessarily in here but I’m t exists…
Good luck to anyone going through it, keep it amicable if at all possible, the alternative is exceptionally unpleasant to say the least….."
.....and can be way more expensive  |
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By *indenMan
over a year ago
Naas which is South West of Dublin |
"Lots of divorced people here I’d say, it’s not the exclusive club it once was…
Thank god! It needs to be ok to divorce, and the taboo needs to be gone. There is no shame in each going your own way if needs be.
There’s definitely still a stigma about being divorced, not saying it’s necessarily in here but I’m t exists…
Good luck to anyone going through it, keep it amicable if at all possible, the alternative is exceptionally unpleasant to say the least…..
.....and can be way more expensive "
The actual words you’re looking for in there is waaaaaaaaayyyyyy more expensive…….   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It can be a mess , anyone that thinks different has never been in such a situation , there is more involved than meets the eye ...but everyone will have their own take on it . |
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"Lots of divorced people here I’d say, it’s not the exclusive club it once was…
Thank god! It needs to be ok to divorce, and the taboo needs to be gone. There is no shame in each going your own way if needs be.
There’s definitely still a stigma about being divorced, not saying it’s necessarily in here but I’m t exists…
Good luck to anyone going through it, keep it amicable if at all possible, the alternative is exceptionally unpleasant to say the least…..
.....and can be way more expensive
The actual words you’re looking for in there is waaaaaaaaayyyyyy more expensive……. "
But still cheaper than letting them take you for everything if you let them. Plus so far it's been costs for making sure access arrangements are fair for me and it doesn't matter how much that costs me, it's worth every penny (even if it should have been unnecessary).  |
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"Lots of divorced people here I’d say, it’s not the exclusive club it once was…
Thank god! It needs to be ok to divorce, and the taboo needs to be gone. There is no shame in each going your own way if needs be.
There’s definitely still a stigma about being divorced, not saying it’s necessarily in here but I’m t exists…
Good luck to anyone going through it, keep it amicable if at all possible, the alternative is exceptionally unpleasant to say the least…..
.....and can be way more expensive
The actual words you’re looking for in there is waaaaaaaaayyyyyy more expensive…….
But still cheaper than letting them take you for everything if you let them. Plus so far it's been costs for making sure access arrangements are fair for me and it doesn't matter how much that costs me, it's worth every penny (even if it should have been unnecessary). "
Been there done that and good mate in the eyes of the Irish courts system dad's seem to be obsolete your just used as a cash machine |
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By *dfabMan
over a year ago
Dunboyne |
"Lots of divorced people here I’d say, it’s not the exclusive club it once was…
Thank god! It needs to be ok to divorce, and the taboo needs to be gone. There is no shame in each going your own way if needs be.
There’s definitely still a stigma about being divorced, not saying it’s necessarily in here but I’m t exists…
Good luck to anyone going through it, keep it amicable if at all possible, the alternative is exceptionally unpleasant to say the least…..
.....and can be way more expensive
The actual words you’re looking for in there is waaaaaaaaayyyyyy more expensive…….
But still cheaper than letting them take you for everything if you let them. Plus so far it's been costs for making sure access arrangements are fair for me and it doesn't matter how much that costs me, it's worth every penny (even if it should have been unnecessary).
Been there done that and good mate in the eyes of the Irish courts system dad's seem to be obsolete your just used as a cash machine "
This would be one of my main fears and I don't earn that much. No way I could pay current rent prices and support kids.
Not joining yet but never say never. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Lots of divorced people here I’d say, it’s not the exclusive club it once was…
Thank god! It needs to be ok to divorce, and the taboo needs to be gone. There is no shame in each going your own way if needs be.
There’s definitely still a stigma about being divorced, not saying it’s necessarily in here but I’m t exists…
Good luck to anyone going through it, keep it amicable if at all possible, the alternative is exceptionally unpleasant to say the least…..
.....and can be way more expensive
The actual words you’re looking for in there is waaaaaaaaayyyyyy more expensive…….
But still cheaper than letting them take you for everything if you let them. Plus so far it's been costs for making sure access arrangements are fair for me and it doesn't matter how much that costs me, it's worth every penny (even if it should have been unnecessary).
Been there done that and good mate in the eyes of the Irish courts system dad's seem to be obsolete your just used as a cash machine "
Irish law always favours the Mother & Kids way before the Dad, some Women take the dad's to hell but not all do ,some can be lucky and things are kept without any more upheaval in lives but if it's not .. wow..there just ain't limits , btw , it's just my opinion , it may not be everyone's but it's mine . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lots of divorced people here I’d say, it’s not the exclusive club it once was…
Thank god! It needs to be ok to divorce, and the taboo needs to be gone. There is no shame in each going your own way if needs be.
There’s definitely still a stigma about being divorced, not saying it’s necessarily in here but I’m t exists…
Good luck to anyone going through it, keep it amicable if at all possible, the alternative is exceptionally unpleasant to say the least…..
.....and can be way more expensive
The actual words you’re looking for in there is waaaaaaaaayyyyyy more expensive…….
But still cheaper than letting them take you for everything if you let them. Plus so far it's been costs for making sure access arrangements are fair for me and it doesn't matter how much that costs me, it's worth every penny (even if it should have been unnecessary).
Been there done that and good mate in the eyes of the Irish courts system dad's seem to be obsolete your just used as a cash machine
This would be one of my main fears and I don't earn that much. No way I could pay current rent prices and support kids.
Not joining yet but never say never."
Sometimes the cost is taken out of our hands wether we want to or not , the choice isn't ours to be made , Ireland is a fierce expensive Country to live in . |
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"Lots of divorced people here I’d say, it’s not the exclusive club it once was…
Thank god! It needs to be ok to divorce, and the taboo needs to be gone. There is no shame in each going your own way if needs be.
There’s definitely still a stigma about being divorced, not saying it’s necessarily in here but I’m t exists…
Good luck to anyone going through it, keep it amicable if at all possible, the alternative is exceptionally unpleasant to say the least…..
.....and can be way more expensive
The actual words you’re looking for in there is waaaaaaaaayyyyyy more expensive…….
But still cheaper than letting them take you for everything if you let them. Plus so far it's been costs for making sure access arrangements are fair for me and it doesn't matter how much that costs me, it's worth every penny (even if it should have been unnecessary).
Been there done that and good mate in the eyes of the Irish courts system dad's seem to be obsolete your just used as a cash machine
This would be one of my main fears and I don't earn that much. No way I could pay current rent prices and support kids.
Not joining yet but never say never."
Your income is taken into account by a judge. You won't be expected to pay more than you have. You have your own living expenses and whatever is left is assessed as means for maintenance. |
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Dirk is still married on paper, but divorce is coming close to an end.
His kids are over very often, everyone is getting along well, everyone is happy with it.
Minor inconvenience that kids might have about not seeing their friends some weekends is compensated with double holidays, double birthday parties, double Christmas & birthday presents and everyone generally being in a better form and zero tension at both homes.
People reach a point of no return in relationships and its okay to walk away.
Yes, it might get a little expensive on the legal side, but freedom from something that isn't fulfilling is worth it.
Too many people waste their lives stuck in a rut just because its convenient
Missus |
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"I'm divorced 15 years and haven't seen her once in that time, we have one child together who is now 19.
So you haven’t seen your child in 15 years either?"
Oh, I can see now how that read now, my bad!
I'm a single parent of 15 years, my child lives with me. |
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"Lots of divorced people here I’d say, it’s not the exclusive club it once was…
Thank god! It needs to be ok to divorce, and the taboo needs to be gone. There is no shame in each going your own way if needs be.
There’s definitely still a stigma about being divorced, not saying it’s necessarily in here but I’m t exists…
Good luck to anyone going through it, keep it amicable if at all possible, the alternative is exceptionally unpleasant to say the least…..
.....and can be way more expensive
The actual words you’re looking for in there is waaaaaaaaayyyyyy more expensive…….
But still cheaper than letting them take you for everything if you let them. Plus so far it's been costs for making sure access arrangements are fair for me and it doesn't matter how much that costs me, it's worth every penny (even if it should have been unnecessary).
Been there done that and good mate in the eyes of the Irish courts system dad's seem to be obsolete your just used as a cash machine
This would be one of my main fears and I don't earn that much. No way I could pay current rent prices and support kids.
Not joining yet but never say never.
Your income is taken into account by a judge. You won't be expected to pay more than you have. You have your own living expenses and whatever is left is assessed as means for maintenance."
Well I disagree there but don't like discussing this stuff on public forum but if anyone wants too message private I can fill them in on the shite storm that is in front of them through the Irish courts |
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That was my experience. The judge seemed very aware that my income had to support 2 households and the maintenence was fair in my opinion. I guess it helps a lot that we were amicable. I'm told a lot depends on the judge you get on the day, which seems really haphazard. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well, the response has been heart rendering to say the least. I really do hope that anyone going through a divorce or separation is coping both mentally and physically.
I have started a “group” and, having read some of your experiences, I genuinely hope that folks can ask questions and share their advice and help.
Feel free to message me with your usernames and I will sift through them and get as many on board as possible 
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By *indenMan
over a year ago
Naas which is South West of Dublin |
"I'm told a lot depends on the judge you get on the day, which seems really haphazard."
I’d go so far as to say absolutely everything depends on the judge you get, everything else can at times be completely disregarded…. |
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