FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Approaching a couple as a single man

Approaching a couple as a single man

By *nna and Mike OP Couple over a year ago

Kildare, Laois

I don't know how other couples are managing this, but I just couldn't keep my mouth shut this time.

Since we joined fab we have had single guys blocked. Reason: the ridiculous amount of one line messages and cock pics. Now, the ones who know me, know that I really appreciate a naughty pic once in a while, but guys, not as a first message.

I unblocked single guys last night and I'm... speechless and shocked. Guys sending face pics with their kids in, then guys asking to fuck now, like, of course, I've my legs spread 24/7, nothing else better to do so, pretty please, fuck me now!

Honestly, I feel so bad for saying this, but have some manners and common sense when texting a couple. 99% of the messages sound like they're meant for a single girl profile, and that's very sad as I get it now why single girls are so cautios even when meeting a genuine couple.

It's no harm to have a bit of respect for the male part when texting a couple, as he's often reading the messages.

Would love to hear other couples opinions regarding this topic and also, single guys opinions.

Anna x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *UREWHY-NOTWoman over a year ago

Dublin

"I don't know how other couples are managing this, but I just couldn't keep my mouth shut this time.

It's no harm to have a bit of respect for the male part when texting a couple, as he's often reading the messages.

Would love to hear other couples opinions regarding this topic and also, single guys opinions.

Anna x "

We have them blocked for same reason. But the mail is always at the woman and not the couple. Both there both read and reply.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ouple VCouple over a year ago

South East

We had a few messages, but your right,

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It’s unfortunate for single men on here that so many do this and ruin the genuine guys chances. I can’t blame couples & even females for having to put on these filters if 90% of the mail they get is like this.

I must admit, at the beginning of my journey on here, I probably was one of “those single males”

. The only reason I can offer up for me doing it at the beginning was the excitement of trying something different and also thinking with my k**b and not my head

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think the "we'll come looking for you" thing works very well here.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *omebirdWoman over a year ago

Men*

*not all

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ungry CatCouple over a year ago

Belfast

We have them blocked for same reason. But the mail is always at the woman and not the couple. Both there both read and reply. "

Completely opposite experience for us: "mate, she looks fuckable, would like to provide a service" and many more examples of men talking to Dirk about me in third person as if I can't read or write or even better - as if Dirk is solely in charge who gets to "provide the service".

What op said is true tho - approaching couples seems to be some kind of a mind boggle for men and women...

Had plenty of women chat and flirt to just Dirk completely ignoring my presence too, obviously neither of us are interested in those kind of people...

Should there be a FAQ on how to approach a couple?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *nna and Mike OP Couple over a year ago

Kildare, Laois

"It’s unfortunate for single men on here that so many do this and ruin the genuine guys chances. I can’t blame couples & even females for having to put on these filters if 90% of the mail they get is like this.

I must admit, at the beginning of my journey on here, I probably was one of “those single males”

. The only reason I can offer up for me doing it at the beginning was the excitement of trying something different and also thinking with my k**b and not my head

Thanks for taking the time to reply to my post. I do understand the excitement, and as I said, I very much appreciate a naughty pic, but not as an opening message.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *nna and Mike OP Couple over a year ago

Kildare, Laois

What op said is true tho - approaching couples seems to be some kind of a mind boggle for men and women...

Had plenty of women chat and flirt to just Dirk completely ignoring my presence too, obviously neither of us are interested in those kind of people...

Should there be a FAQ on how to approach a couple? "

Oh, we got that too. Plenty of ladies ignoring my presence on the profile, but that happened rarely to be honest.

I don't think that this is the first post about the way a couple should be approached, but I think that some tips might be helpful for singles who are looking to meet couples.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I must admit, at the beginning of my journey on here, I probably was one of “those single males”

. The only reason I can offer up for me doing it at the beginning was the excitement of trying something different and also thinking with my k**b and not my head

Thanks for taking the time to reply to my post. I do understand the excitement, and as I said, I very much appreciate a naughty pic, but not as an opening message. "

No problem, hopefully some other gents will share their thoughts and it might give ye some insight into the weird, wild and wonderful mind of us single guys

. Yeah I can’t imagine the naughty pic being a great ice breaker

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *nna and Mike OP Couple over a year ago

Kildare, Laois

"Men*

*not all "

Indeed, not all. We have been lucky enough to meet lovely genuine single guys who certainly gave us hope that there's light at the end of the tunnel

lol it's a tough journey to find them though, but worth the effort x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There are some really amazing single men on here and they are the reason I stay on Fab. But f*Uck me you do get weary being looked upon as a unpaid Escorts Ireland girl.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *entleman PoliteMan over a year ago

Mars

The problem with single men is that they don't realise how many messages you could be receiving per day and how annoying it is but also you may realise that not all men are coming from The same basket.

It is always nice to see and understand what people are looking for but you will have the people who don't read profiles or the one who don't make an effort in responding to someone who tried to send a proper message.

Meaning you will always have positives and negatives.... ideally just be patient and use the block button when needed.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *onegal82Man over a year ago

letterkenny/Belfast

Some men (Obviously not all) will never learn no matter hoe much u tell them or how much they read the advice on forums. Seems they feel send cock pics etc as first message is gonna work. No idea why or how they think thar but some always will and do.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *nna and Mike OP Couple over a year ago

Kildare, Laois

Then again, sending friend requests without even saying hi. It must be me being slow on the uptake, but I really don't get it

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *nna and Mike OP Couple over a year ago

Kildare, Laois

"The problem with single men is that they don't realise how many messages you could be receiving per day and how annoying it is but also you may realise that not all men are coming from The same basket.

Meaning you will always have positives and negatives.... ideally just be patient and use the block button when needed."

Very much appreciate your feedback. I usually prefer to browse myself and read profiles when it comes to arrange solo meets or even MFM 3somes, and most of the time we have single men blocked, as we really don't have the time and patience to scroll trough hundreds of messages.

I only disabled my fab filters last night and this morning we had 280 new messages

I surely agree with you that there is genuine single males who have the ability to speak to a couple, we have been lucky enough to meet a few.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *og-ManMan over a year ago

somewhere

This could be a stupid question ....but do you thing they're mostly just a copy and paste job or are any personalised at all

Are they like the email scams where they send out 10,000 messages and 1 gets a reply so they keep going

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ilderMan over a year ago

dublin

There are idiots of all sexes and sexualities. Unfortunately due to the number of single guys here that demographic gets noticed more. As a single guy myself although I've no control about how others approach things I do have to deal with the filters and barriers created to block out that type. Such is life.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ardyboy54321Man over a year ago

Fermanagh

I'm only here for the craic. I really enjoy the social side of fab and if that leads to fun mighty and if not I've still had a good night. But I do get what a lot of the folks above have said.its definitely not dial a ride.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ngel and EvilCouple over a year ago

Belfast

Our status at present is literally asking not to send unsolicited dick pics. Thats not what Evil wants to see when he opens a message and neither do I. Also we have age filter on profile and the amount of guys that clearly dont read profile then get smart when we say no cause too young is staggering. I know its long and probably very boring but if read then lets people know what we like and dont like.

Great post OP xx

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ohn 94Man over a year ago

Gorey

"I don't know how other couples are managing this, but I just couldn't keep my mouth shut this time.

It's no harm to have a bit of respect for the male part when texting a couple, as he's often reading the messages.

Would love to hear other couples opinions regarding this topic and also, single guys opinions.

Anna x "

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Our experience has been the polar opposite. 99% of messages from men are polite but unimaginative. We have never received abusive messages even after declining invitations.

On the other side of the equation we reply to the majority of messages from men even if it is just to acknowledge the time they took to message.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *og-ManMan over a year ago

somewhere

"Our status at present is literally asking not to send unsolicited dick pics. Thats not what Evil wants to see when he opens a message and neither do I. Also we have age filter on profile and the amount of guys that clearly dont read profile then get smart when we say no cause too young is staggering. I know its long and probably very boring but if read then lets people know what we like and dont like.

Great post OP xx"

Do your age filters not stop the messages...are they set right

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *nna and Mike OP Couple over a year ago

Kildare, Laois

"This could be a stupid question ....but do you thing they're mostly just a copy and paste job or are any personalised at all

Are they like the email scams where they send out 10,000 messages and 1 gets a reply so they keep going

I have only scrolled trough a few messages tonight and then bulk delete... it was Mike going trough most of them, of course he had a laugh overall, but my shock came when we got a face pic of a guy with his little daughter... that was the thing which made me write this post.

However, as I said earlier, I never generalised, I know there's lovely people on fab and we have been so lucky to meet genuine single guys and ladies some of them we tied beautiful friendships with.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't know how other couples are managing this, but I just couldn't keep my mouth shut this time.

It's no harm to have a bit of respect for the male part when texting a couple, as he's often reading the messages.

Would love to hear other couples opinions regarding this topic and also, single guys opinions.

Anna x "

And when you call them out you are the crazy one and the one that thinks to highly of yourself.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *unsigntwoCouple over a year ago

athlone

"Then again, sending friend requests without even saying hi. It must be me being slow on the uptake, but I really don't get it

This drives me mad

Mrssun

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *unsigntwoCouple over a year ago

athlone

This is why we have guys blocked if we want a guy I will find him ..

Mrssun

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This could be a stupid question ....but do you thing they're mostly just a copy and paste job or are any personalised at all

Are they like the email scams where they send out 10,000 messages and 1 gets a reply so they keep going

They just ignore the male half most of the time. Even tho ours has his name first then mine. Think they see the profile pic and just assume

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *og-ManMan over a year ago

somewhere

"This could be a stupid question ....but do you thing they're mostly just a copy and paste job or are any personalised at all

Are they like the email scams where they send out 10,000 messages and 1 gets a reply so they keep going

They just ignore the male half most of the time. Even tho ours has his name first then mine. Think they see the profile pic and just assume "

I've heard this also happens at meets or socials

Then again I've also seen it happen with couples and single women

Thats fab I suppose

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *r.ZoidbergMan over a year ago

Dublin

thanks!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ay_Gatsby_D4Man over a year ago

Belfast

Was going to spend this evening taking fresh dick pics to send as a treat to couples, not sure I’ll bother now.....

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *nna and Mike OP Couple over a year ago

Kildare, Laois

"I'm only here for the craic. I really enjoy the social side of fab and if that leads to fun mighty and if not I've still had a good night. But I do get what a lot of the folks above have said.its definitely not dial a ride. "

Thanks for the feedback. For sure, parties and socials are a great way to meet genuine fabbers and I know some couples and ladies who are only meeting trough parties and socials.

However, not going too far from the topic, I do get that it's a website where people get to explore their sexuality, and I do know that, at times, a picture or a video can awake our primal side, but it's just common sense to read someone's profile before sending a cock pic or a one line "wanna fuck" message.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ngel and EvilCouple over a year ago

Belfast

Great post OP xx

Do your age filters not stop the messages...are they set right

Need to check them again since reactivating profile

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *nna and Mike OP Couple over a year ago

Kildare, Laois

"Was going to spend this evening taking fresh dick pics to send as a treat to couples, not sure I’ll bother now....."

Hahaha do not ruin your evening plans and also if you need a hand there feel free to ask for it... I'm pretty good with camera and I tend to cover all the good angles lol

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *nna and Mike OP Couple over a year ago

Kildare, Laois

Great post OP xx

Do your age filters not stop the messages...are they set right

Need to check them again since reactivating profile

Yup, age filters very well set on our profile and they do stop some amount of messages.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ofusplusCouple over a year ago

Limerick

We have single guys blocked as well for the same reasons as yourselves. But we are Fab friends with quite a few lads who thus can message us and are welcome to.

There are some really sound single guys on here, some we've gotten to know from chatting on the Forums over the past few years and others we've met at socials and parties. They are attractive to us as they enjoy the craic and don't come across as desperate for the ride. One lad kept me entertained with hilarious messages while I was isolating with Covid and has not asked for a social or meet before or since. I'm impressed!

But there is a large cohort of guys with zero understanding of women. They think women are up for a blind hookup like themselves when 99% of ladies can't/won't do this.

So lads, first thing is to calm the f*ck down, treat the ladies like human beings and be prepared to do the legwork and build a bit of rapport first. Attend socials as these will help you big time, chat on the forums, put time into your profile and have lots of patience. Do these four things and you will do OK. Mrs

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *asual777Man over a year ago

i travel all over

Sounds very unpleasant and having had a couples profile for a while some of the communication leaves a lot to be desired.

It’s probably a good thread to point out the reverse dynamic also . I personally coming from a single male profile perspective find long term couples the most challenging to navigate .

1. Are they both comfortable with me?

2. If it’s a couple with a bi male do they both fancy me?

3. Do we have clear boundaries about what will happen ?

4. What are the expectations about the duration of the meet ?

5. Are there issues between them that will affect the lead up and the actual meet ?

And many more issues .

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *nna and Mike OP Couple over a year ago

Kildare, Laois

"Sounds very unpleasant and having had a couples profile for a while some of the communication leaves a lot to be desired.

It’s probably a good thread to point out the reverse dynamic also . I personally coming from a single male profile perspective find long term couples the most challenging to navigate .

1. Are they both comfortable with me?

2. If it’s a couple with a bi male do they both fancy me?

3. Do we have clear boundaries about what will happen ?

4. What are the expectations about the duration of the meet ?

5. Are there issues between them that will affect the lead up and the actual meet ?

And many more issues . "

That's a great point of view. All this questions and doubts are in the mind of the couple as well. I don't know how other couples approach this, but when we find someone who we're interested in, we're usually setting up a kik group where we can all have a laugh, a flirt, and also establish boudaries before arranging any play meet.

There will always be doubts and maybe insecurities, but fab is about exploring and being open, so we have never went to a meet with expectations or a list of rules which a single male or female has to complete if they wanna meet us.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I unblocked single guys last night and I'm... speechless and shocked. Guys sending face pics with their kids in, then guys asking to fuck now, like, of course, I've my legs spread 24/7, nothing else better to do so, pretty please, fuck me now! "

I never thought I could be any more shocked by the antics of single male fabbers, but I guess I was wrong!

Unfortunately, I have a feeling the guys who are guilty of this feebleminded behaviour aren't the types who read profiles let alone these forums

I think a lot of them genuinely have zero understanding of women and sincerely believe the ladies of fab actually desire cock pics in the same way they themselves desire naked pics of women

I assume these guys are the porn addicts who don't realize female porn stars are acting that way for the benefit of their male audience and would never behave that way IRL

However, I believe there's another cohort of dick-pic heads who know full well what effect their having and get their kicks out if exactly that.

I suspect they have no real intention of actually meeting anyone on here and if in the unlikely scenario a lady or couple responded to their nonsense, they'd shit themselves and quickly make their excuses...

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *easingTimMan over a year ago

Loughlinstown

I'd actually like to thank each and all of the knuckle dragging throglodytes

for the simple reason that you've increased the chances of me getting a coffee meet, etc...

After reading "Hi' in the opening box followed by "wanna f**k" (...and attached pic), it makes it easy for couples to see such a common message a mile off and delete

Then if a normal guy here sends a message with a slightly different opener it gets read and often replied to

So lads keep doing what you're doing and keep getting what you're getting!

Tim

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *dfabMan over a year ago

Dunboyne

Well I winked ya OP because of the post and some of the pics.

I'd never send a Friend request without chatting to someone here first quite a bit but others seem to use Friend request like I use wink.

Let's be honest, it's so they can try to letch the Friends Only pics/vids most of the time. Hey! If you are a sexy peeps, it's going to happen.

Those who do that, I'd just block straight away, without needing to feel an explanation was necessary.

I've now lost the train of thought of your original post,so best I stop typing and just say Happy Fabbing

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ower323Man over a year ago

Well as a single guy on here. Its hard to understand what way to approach a couple. Like I feel if anyone wants to message another profile half the time there is no effort used in the message or they haven't read the couples profile. But it's hard to know when there is no response as if you realise that you don't suit what they are looking for or if you've went wrong somewhere in your way of approach

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I must admit, at the beginning of my journey on here, I probably was one of “those single males”

. The only reason I can offer up for me doing it at the beginning was the excitement of trying something different and also thinking with my k**b and not my head

My balls cringe every time I see someone complain that it’s getting ruined for the “genuine” guys, whatever that means

Particularly when you said you’ve done it in the past

Massive lol thanks on two accounts

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *uccubus1Woman over a year ago

unknown

You think it'd bad for a couple? Trying being a single female. The amount of shit you get sent. And the abuse you get when you say no is absolutely disgusting.

It can be very exhausting going through mail on this, it really puts you off talking to anyone and ruins it for genuine people

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *208numeWoman over a year ago

Navan

I completely agree with you on that point.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *cottybear74Man over a year ago

kilkenny

I'm sure when we met for coffee I spoke with Mike as much as Anna. Poor Mike may have had trouble keeping up with the speed at which I spoke tho lol.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *208numeWoman over a year ago

Navan

I just want to add that the ‘dick pic/wanna fuck now/rude messages’ brigade which arrive when I make my profile visible make a hesitant lady like me even more hesitant about staying on the site, but I will say that the men I have engaged with have been mostly very polite and respectful. Thank you to all the gentlemen out there!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't know how other couples are managing this, but I just couldn't keep my mouth shut this time.

It's no harm to have a bit of respect for the male part when texting a couple, as he's often reading the messages.

Would love to hear other couples opinions regarding this topic and also, single guys opinions.

Anna x "

Hey Anna

Sorry to hear that you have bad experience but not all of us single guys are like that

I never send rude or inappropriate msgs to couples or single girls

Actually I send you mail earlier on just normal txt,hope you will reply tho

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't know how other couples are managing this, but I just couldn't keep my mouth shut this time.

It's no harm to have a bit of respect for the male part when texting a couple, as he's often reading the messages.

Would love to hear other couples opinions regarding this topic and also, single guys opinions.

Anna x "

Hiya Anna , great read , don't know if you read my profile ,l don't do any of that crap tbh , Respect is No.1.on my book ,feel free to message me any time .

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There are some really amazing single men on here and they are the reason I stay on Fab. But f*Uck me you do get weary being looked upon as a unpaid Escorts Ireland girl. "

My sexy Rosy friend knows this better then anybody else here

I hope that massage table is ready Rosy

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Meaning you will always have positives and negatives.... ideally just be patient and use the block button when needed."

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *teppenwolfMan over a year ago

Cork

Surely if a couple are profiling themselves as a duo they should be addressed as a couple.

How is this complicated?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *nna and Mike OP Couple over a year ago

Kildare, Laois

"I'm sure when we met for coffee I spoke with Mike as much as Anna. Poor Mike may have had trouble keeping up with the speed at which I spoke tho lol. "

It's been too long ago, Scotty. We must grab another coffee soon xx

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Surely if a couple are profiling themselves as a duo they should be addressed as a couple.

How is this complicated?"

It's not, it's just that many people lack social skills

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You think it'd bad for a couple? Trying being a single female. The amount of shit you get sent. And the abuse you get when you say no is absolutely disgusting.

It can be very exhausting going through mail on this, it really puts you off talking to anyone and ruins it for genuine people "

Been there as well. Some write abuse straight away and then block you cause they can't take the response.

Single men then wonder why they can't meet and keep posting about not being able to meet

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As say in ours you have one chance to make a good impression. If they waste it... it's only themselves they can blame

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *oungukbull97Man over a year ago

Manchester

While it's not fullproof, you could always try what couples do and include a word that needs to be put in the subject to prove that they've read your profile.

It won't stop every message but at least the people who put the barest level of effort can be completely ignored. (Also saves you having to look at their pics)

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ateniteCouple over a year ago

Youghal

We just take the good with the bad.

It's not going to change anytime soon on fab.

We ignore and delete the crap and chat with the guys that we may like to meet.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We just take the good with the bad.

It's not going to change anytime soon on fab.

We ignore and delete the crap and chat with the guys that we may like to meet."

Very nice profile tho

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ungry CatCouple over a year ago

Belfast

"While it's not fullproof, you could always try what couples do and include a word that needs to be put in the subject to prove that they've read your profile.

It won't stop every message but at least the people who put the barest level of effort can be completely ignored. (Also saves you having to look at their pics)"

Ah that word in title thing is just stupid, anyone with a pair of eyes knows right away if someone read the profile before messaging or not.

Individually blocking people you're not interested in works amazingly well in a long run.

Also blocking the ones who blocks you first - not giving them a way to creep back in.

Give it a few months and inbox will be spotless

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *UREWHY-NOTWoman over a year ago

Dublin

"While it's not fullproof, you could always try what couples do and include a word that needs to be put in the subject to prove that they've read your profile.

It won't stop every message but at least the people who put the barest level of effort can be completely ignored. (Also saves you having to look at their pics)

Ah that word in title thing is just stupid, anyone with a pair of eyes knows right away if someone read the profile before messaging or not.

Individually blocking people you're not interested in works amazingly well in a long run.

Also blocking the ones who blocks you first - not giving them a way to creep back in.

Give it a few months and inbox will be spotless

Make sure you use the block from the menu bar on the blocked ones. Not the re block

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So, I’m going to throw my tuppence worth into the mix…..

First of all it’s worth noting that the OP has begun an educational discussion and not just a bunch of cock jockey single men giving an unlearned opinion……

So here is how I see it. In my lifetime I have “picked up” for want of a better explanation, the odd female at a bar/disco (Disco……showing my age there hey!). I didn’t EVER approach any of them with my dick out or come off with a line such as “fancy a fuck”. It involved social interaction, conversation, laughing and finding that persons personality attractive. So, if or when I dare to approach anyone on Fab, be it a single female or a couple, I picture myself at the bar, or the discotheque, and I ask myself, how would I approach that person or persons in that scenario.

PS a little bit of humour also goes a long long way and can often break the ice….

I hope my contribution helps

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ensualnFunCouple over a year ago

Midlands

"We have single guys blocked as well for the same reasons as yourselves. But we are Fab friends with quite a few lads who thus can message us and are welcome to.

But there is a large cohort of guys with zero understanding of women. They think women are up for a blind hookup like themselves when 99% of ladies can't/won't do this.

Exactly that. We’ve met and chatted (mostly Mrs) to a few single males and a few have become friends with or without benefits

Some great guys out there who have no trouble navigating a relationship with a couple.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You would have to wonder what these guys social skills are like in the offline world. Do they have suspect behavior in the real world or are a street angel and a house devil. My online personality and behavior is pretty much the same as offline. I might be bit more flirtatious on here depending on who I am chatting with and the dynamic. But the idea of sending a cock picture in a first message to anyone is very strange behavior to me!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ere70Man over a year ago

Rovinj Istria

I love to chat with right minded People, girl or couple tv od man... I joke a lot and love to meet New People. For me sending dick pic or saying wanna fuck im first message is sign of mental illness. Nice word opens steel door as they say im my neibourhood...

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *Belfast_FellaMan over a year ago

belfast

This is why I rarely, if ever, message couples first (though I’m always happy to hear from them). I would imagine that a lot of single guys have spoiled it for the rest of us and so I work on the basis that I won’t add to their annoyance, if I’m what they’re looking for, they will hopefully notice and contact me, rather than me adding to the numerous unsolicited messages they’ve already gotten.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This is why I rarely, if ever, message couples first (though I’m always happy to hear from them). I would imagine that a lot of single guys have spoiled it for the rest of us and so I work on the basis that I won’t add to their annoyance, if I’m what they’re looking for, they will hopefully notice and contact me, rather than me adding to the numerous unsolicited messages they’ve already gotten."

Or you could look at it from the POV that if you send a good message, it will stand out from the pile of shite!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *arajeanCouple over a year ago

mayo

If texting a couple remember it is a couple and not just female .we would never reply to unverified no pics or crude messages or dick pics have some respect and try and put few sentences togeather which might get our attention.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't know how other couples are managing this, but I just couldn't keep my mouth shut this time.

It's no harm to have a bit of respect for the male part when texting a couple, as he's often reading the messages.

Would love to hear other couples opinions regarding this topic and also, single guys opinions.

Anna x "

Yep. Same.

Had to block them after a particularly nasty exchange with a d up muppet who decided to sling all sorts of body shaming insults when politely told we weren’t available to meet when he snaps his fingers.

Just don’t get the mentality. This place requires patience. Real life isn’t porn. We all run at different paces.

Sending dick pics and asking, “Fuck now?”, is literally the shortest strategy for getting a meet.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *oc1998Man over a year ago

Dundalk

To be honest, it thanks to these single guys why I dont usually message people first. I just know my message will not be seen or just ignored.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *Belfast_FellaMan over a year ago

belfast

Or you could look at it from the POV that if you send a good message, it will stand out from the pile of shite!"

Nah, my messages are shite too!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't know how other couples are managing this, but I just couldn't keep my mouth shut this time.

It's no harm to have a bit of respect for the male part when texting a couple, as he's often reading the messages.

Would love to hear other couples opinions regarding this topic and also, single guys opinions.

Anna x

Can't speak for any other single male but I'm astounded that any man thinks that starting a conversation with a dick pic or a "let's fuck" message will lead to anything other than being told to fuck off and being blocked! "
lol true especially when a single guy on this chat has so many other single men to compete with ..a few good manners, decent talk, fantabulous looks may just get him the attention he is looking for and that too barely

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *jallMan over a year ago

Cork/Sligo

"To be honest, it thanks to these single guys why I dont usually message people first. I just know my message will not be seen or just ignored. "

Couple of exceptions aside, this

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ewCoupl01Couple over a year ago

South Dublin

We had single men unblocked for a long time, as I (F) on a very rare occasion would dabble as a solo.

For the most part it was fine, we'd get the odd one that's just a dick pic or if we politely declined someone's offer they'd mail with the same offer every day until we blocked them.

But since joining back after the lockdown, we've had to block all guys. It's particularly bad now for some reason. From Simple stuff like only addressing me and not us both, to some of the most of the wall stuff I've ever seen.

The only answer was to block them all, which is a shame as so many single guys on here have been polite and respectful.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Truefrosts have a lovely write up on their blog that all guys should read, specifically about approaching a couple as a single guy - well it’s more about what not to do, but they should be able to work out how to go about it.

That said, I still struggle to find a suitable way to approach couples. There is no one-size-fits-all solution and regardless of how I approach couples I’m generally ignored.

Yes, yes, I know - couples and females get inundated with messages from us awful, degenerate and illiterate males, and it’s be a full time job replying to all of us eedjits.

It does make one not want to bother putting in any effort in though, when you’re not one of the madding crowd and you do take the time to craft a reasonably legible correspondence, for it to be read and then simply ignored.

So blame can be laid all about. The solution is to be the better side I guess, and hope for the best and treat everyone as you wish to be treated.

Regardless, I do hope you get better messages going forward OP, that is if you ever decide to pull the filters again.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Our experience has been the polar opposite. 99% of messages from men are polite but unimaginative. We have never received abusive messages even after declining invitations.

On the other side of the equation we reply to the majority of messages from men even if it is just to acknowledge the time they took to message. "

You are by far the minority here, but I would like to thank you regardless for making the effort even if the originator was a tactless gorm.

So from all us men, thank you.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ofusplusCouple over a year ago

Limerick

"Truefrosts have a lovely write up on their blog that all guys should read, specifically about approaching a couple as a single guy - well it’s more about what not to do, but they should be able to work out how to go about it.

That said, I still struggle to find a suitable way to approach couples. There is no one-size-fits-all solution and regardless of how I approach couples I’m generally ignored.

Yes, yes, I know - couples and females get inundated with messages from us awful, degenerate and illiterate males, and it’s be a full time job replying to all of us eedjits.

So blame can be laid all about. The solution is to be the better side I guess, and hope for the best and treat everyone as you wish to be treated.

Regardless, I do hope you get better messages going forward OP, that is if you ever decide to pull the filters again."

Why would you continue sending messages though when that approach clearly doesn't work? You're flogging a dead horse. There are plenty other ways to be successful on here apart from spending ages crafting messages that will just be ignored. Mrs.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Naivety, optimism, stupidity or a combination of all three perhaps?

Must agree with you though Mrs Us, there are other ways to gain the notice of couples as a single male, it’s just finding the right way for the right couple that is the challenge - thankfully restrictions have lifted and we can all socialise again, which should make things substantially easier, at least for the enlightened few who are able to read and who don’t always drag their knuckles on the ground behind them as they walk…

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ofusplusCouple over a year ago

Limerick

"Naivety, optimism, stupidity or a combination of all three perhaps?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So, I’m going to throw my tuppence worth into the mix…..

First of all it’s worth noting that the OP has begun an educational discussion and not just a bunch of cock jockey single men giving an unlearned opinion……

PS a little bit of humour also goes a long long way and can often break the ice….

I hope my contribution helps

"
It's called Respect, and you have loads of it .

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ilderMan over a year ago

dublin

In the 'talking with the male of the couple' thing. I've never understood why it seems some guys forget he's also one you've to 'convince'.

I mean (in some ways) it would be like if you met a girl in a bar and she was with friends. Imagine if she introduced you to them and you blanked them.. Yeah I could see them welcoming you into that group with open arms alright. You'd be going home alone that night

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *angero3aMan over a year ago

swords

hi. not all single gyus the same i am discreet always address my message to both never sent cock will sent face pic if asked but seem never to work no reply just a nice single guy looking to meet a nice couple there is always the assholes.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ercc63Man over a year ago

Hillsborough

Alwats try to be polite !

Sometimes "couples" are really hubby getting his rocks off doing the chatting with partner knowing nothing about it!!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think no matter what you say, some guys will just never learn.

It has to be said that this surely improves the success rate for those guys who do take the right approach when engaging with a couple.

Lee

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In the 'talking with the male of the couple' thing. I've never understood why it seems some guys forget he's also one you've to 'convince'.

Or worse again, approaching the male half and asking if you can have a go at your wan. (Something akin to this has actually happened to us on a night out

)

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

One of the other difficulties is that the vast majority of couples profiles I've chatted to are run by the woman.

The only time there has ever been any interaction from the male half is when they grow impatient and start giving instructions and making demands.

There are even a few couples where the male either doesn't exist at all or has no knowledge of the conversations and there is a quick change of topic when asked about him.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *indenMan over a year ago

Naas which is South West of Dublin

"I think no matter what you say, some guys will just never learn.

It has to be said that this surely improves the success rate for those guys who do take the right approach when engaging with a couple.

Lee"

Yes, you would think that this would improve the success rate for some, but unfortunately I think decent people with decent attitudes sometimes get lost in the sea of other rubbish that gets sent to profiles.

I take some solace thinking my messages may have been missed instead of ignored or just deleted unread …..

Personally I think a button or link on a profile to their forum posts would help people get an idea of who’s messaging them…..

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ere70Man over a year ago

Rovinj Istria

it is also interesting how many great nice messages i sent to people looking type of singles as am i with nice pic of me (no nude) saying that everything i read in their profile sounds ok, that i would love to meet them for drink to see if there is chemistry. message got read and then silence. ok i can understand that i am not everybodys type but some thank you but no deal would be nice in ylur opinion why is that?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *onedbodMan over a year ago

co Galway

Personally i dont meet couples ladies only! But please ladies will yee stop sending naughty pics! Jeez I'm mortified by it

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"it is also interesting how many great nice messages i sent to people looking type of singles as am i with nice pic of me (no nude) saying that everything i read in their profile sounds ok, that i would love to meet them for drink to see if there is chemistry. message got read and then silence. ok i can understand that i am not everybodys type but some thank you but no deal would be nice in ylur opinion why is that? "

That happens as we had it when you say that you are called all sorts under the sun

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ancy38Woman over a year ago

galway

I have them blocked for this reason. I was getting 75-100 msgs every few days. I even have this one man msg me every day for weeks. The same Copy and paste msg with his face and cock pic. It was really making me thinking about deleting my profile. He is now blocked and I have all men blocked from msging me.

Or thing I may add though. I have met some lovely men on here.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ilderMan over a year ago

dublin

"In the 'talking with the male of the couple' thing. I've never understood why it seems some guys forget he's also one you've to 'convince'.

Or worse again, approaching the male half and asking if you can have a go at your wan. (Something akin to this has actually happened to us on a night out

In a 'do you mind if I step in for the next dance' kinda way?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In the 'talking with the male of the couple' thing. I've never understood why it seems some guys forget he's also one you've to 'convince'.

Or worse again, approaching the male half and asking if you can have a go at your wan. (Something akin to this has actually happened to us on a night out

)

In a 'do you mind if I step in for the next dance' kinda way?

I think the precise words were "are you done with the blonde"

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ilderMan over a year ago

dublin

"In the 'talking with the male of the couple' thing. I've never understood why it seems some guys forget he's also one you've to 'convince'.

Or worse again, approaching the male half and asking if you can have a go at your wan. (Something akin to this has actually happened to us on a night out

)

In a 'do you mind if I step in for the next dance' kinda way?

I think the precise words were "are you done with the blonde"

I assumed ye immediately swapped details for the next time she 'wanna f#k' s...

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ere70Man over a year ago

Rovinj Istria

[Removed by poster at 10/03/22 07:59:55]

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ere70Man over a year ago

Rovinj Istria

"In the 'talking with the male of the couple' thing. I've never understood why it seems some guys forget he's also one you've to 'convince'.

Or worse again, approaching the male half and asking if you can have a go at your wan. (Something akin to this has actually happened to us on a night out

)

In a 'do you mind if I step in for the next dance' kinda way?

I think the precise words were "are you done with the blonde"

un fuckin beliveable

what is this guys illness...

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's as basic as respect the profile creator's

read a couples bio in the a profile !!!!

If someone messages anyone with there cock or pussy out ...its Exhibitionist getting off in their own heads

would they do that as someone already said in reality???

no they wouldn't ....on line is no different...it shows how ignorant an individual is really

Everyone has their preferences and different dynamics work for different people. ...

A lot and I mean a lot of Dopes on here...and to contradict myself have met some very genuine people here too ( just a few mond you)...they usually have the right approach from day 1..

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *eeisbackMan over a year ago

….

"I don't know how other couples are managing this, but I just couldn't keep my mouth shut this time.

It's no harm to have a bit of respect for the male part when texting a couple, as he's often reading the messages.

Would love to hear other couples opinions regarding this topic and also, single guys opinions.

Anna x "

Totally agree with ye on all the above having seen some messages that some guys send to cpls and woman on here I can see why ye would have single guys blocked. I think theres a-lot of desperate guys on here who thinks that it’s dial a ride and that once theres a female on here be it a single or in a couple-that there here to just fuck there and then.

Like a few have said people are here for different reasons. And that has to be respected by all parties. I do try read the profile and write a message going by it.

I have that I’m not into men and id get more messages from guys than anything else. I did have guys blocked but I do have guys that id be mates with from socials parties etc and its good for organising group fun etc.

Some guys on here being ‘dicks’ ruin it on the Genuine ones .

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *eel good factorMan over a year ago

Cork

Hi guys ,

Hope you are both well.

If the single males are that stupid and string a couple of respectful lines together then just block them.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic