FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Couples confiding in your partner
Couples confiding in your partner
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I feel terribly sorry for couples who don't know each others kinks and fantasies. I can't imagine having such bad communication that they couldn't talk to each other about that stuff."
Is it our Catholic upbringing that sex wasn’t spoken about.
The longer you’re in a relationship the harder it gets to divulge your sexual tendencies
You’re dead right, people have no trouble airing their sexual preferences to complete strangers here but won’t breath a word to their partners |
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"I feel terribly sorry for couples who don't know each others kinks and fantasies. I can't imagine having such bad communication that they couldn't talk to each other about that stuff.
Is it our Catholic upbringing that sex wasn’t spoken about.
The longer you’re in a relationship the harder it gets to divulge your sexual tendencies
You’re dead right, people have no trouble airing their sexual preferences to complete strangers here but won’t breath a word to their partners"
I'm sure there are plenty of different reasons depending on the couple...
Upbringing, shame/shyness, trust, respect, maturity, a/both partner's willingness to be open-minded, sexual development throughout your life, actually realising or becoming more aware of what you like if you're more close minded...
Honesty, trust, acceptance, respect are key |
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I suppose Catholic guilt doesn't help.. and in fact probably contributes to the childhood creation of kinks.
The sex positivity movement is the solution. Its OK to be a sexual being and to be open about what turns you on. There is nothing shameful about sexual pleasure.
I can only imagine the awful level of dysfunction that means lifelong partners who can't discuss this stuff with each other. Shame breeds a warped damaging view of sexuality. |
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Shame and guilt prevent us from revealing out most intimate thoughts, fetishes, kinks to our partners. Ironically, its the intimacy and comfort t of a long term relationship that allows us to tentatively explore, if only in our heads, our deepest desires. But revealing these to a partner can invite judgement, so shutting down the conversation with them. . But the desires dont go away, so, its good to talk to someone else who is a good listener. |
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By *aidbare5Couple
over a year ago
down the road |
I think for us it started out as fantasy pillow talk. Pillow talk turned into sober conversations that turned into doing something about it. It was probably 3 years from the starting conversation to actually going to our first physical meet. It was me (Mr) that would have initiated it but we are lucky in that we are both horny feckers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not in a couple but if people are not sexually compatible it's a complete and utter waste of each others time , that's why Fab eliminates all of that , people know from the very start what each other likes and it's a huge start, how Couples talked about it l don't know but being here is a head start. |
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Our conversation started after id had a really erotic dream of a 3 some that woke me up and had me incredibly horny. Which led me to wake him outve his slumber to see to my needs. Later that night while out on a drive he asked what had me so worked up. Explaining the dream led to questions and talking about fantasies and desires. Everything out in the open. Joined a different site first then found a lady who introduced us to Fab and kik. |
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Most couples probably come to this lifestyle after a deep delve into mutual fantasies and a willingness to explore. It’s a real test of communication skills (as well as organisational skills!) and it can bring a whole level of trust to a relationship. |
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"I think for us it started out as fantasy pillow talk. Pillow talk turned into sober conversations that turned into doing something about it. It was probably 3 years from the starting conversation to actually going to our first physical meet. It was me (Mr) that would have initiated it but we are lucky in that we are both horny feckers"
Pretty much the same story for us  |
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By *iamo69Man
over a year ago
South |
Maybe a bit of a controversial comment here but
If you can't talk open and freely to your other half in my eyes there is something not right with the relationship.
If you have a fantasy or anything in life you should say it without worrying about the response. If the other half isn't into it maybe they will think about it for you if they are committed or politely explain why it's a no.
But the thing is never ever should anyone have to stay quite if they realy are comfortable with some one.
I've experienced both kinds of relationsships.. And the one one where you both can talk to each other is the one that will last for the better.
Anyways shoot me down in a ball of fire.
Just my two cents |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Shame and guilt prevent us from revealing out most intimate thoughts, fetishes, kinks to our partners. Ironically, its the intimacy and comfort t of a long term relationship that allows us to tentatively explore, if only in our heads, our deepest desires. But revealing these to a partner can invite judgement, so shutting down the conversation with them. . But the desires dont go away, so, its good to talk to someone else who is a good listener. "
Hey there
Any chance you'd drop me a message . Filters on your profile I can't message you directly.
Luther Black |
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By *etergemmaCouple
over a year ago
South Dublin Area |
"I suppose Catholic guilt doesn't help.. and in fact probably contributes to the childhood creation of kinks.
The sex positivity movement is the solution. Its OK to be a sexual being and to be open about what turns you on. There is nothing shameful about sexual pleasure.
I can only imagine the awful level of dysfunction that means lifelong partners who can't discuss this stuff with each other. Shame breeds a warped damaging view of sexuality."
This  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For us it was likely easier then others as we met here in the first place. We were both long term swingers before we had met so was more a matter of time before we did it together. As for catholic guilt guess we were lucky as we don't and have never paid heed to it in the first place. I do feel sorry for the people who can't discuss sexual desires and such with their other halves due to it. |
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"I suppose Catholic guilt doesn't help.. and in fact probably contributes to the childhood creation of kinks.
The sex positivity movement is the solution. Its OK to be a sexual being and to be open about what turns you on. There is nothing shameful about sexual pleasure.
I can only imagine the awful level of dysfunction that means lifelong partners who can't discuss this stuff with each other. Shame breeds a warped damaging view of sexuality.
This "
The church has done so much damage in this country. At the moment I can't think of a single good thing about it ... except maybe the comfort of a possible afterlife. But not forgetting the threat of the 'fires of hell' up to 40 years ago. It really is a horrible institution.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is a very good thread as I can relate to my situation.
Thinking of mentioning this topic to my wife for nearly 2 years now but the loss for me would be far greater if she isn't interested sexually like myself.
Tried on 2 occasions now in a sober environment but I just froze and moved swiftly onto a different conversation.
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"This is a very good thread as I can relate to my situation.
Thinking of mentioning this topic to my wife for nearly 2 years now but the loss for me would be far greater if she isn't interested sexually like myself.
Tried on 2 occasions now in a sober environment but I just froze and moved swiftly onto a different conversation.
"
Try 'pillow talk' when you may be at your most comfortable and she may be at her most receptive
I'm speaking from experience by the way. Mrs  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a very good thread as I can relate to my situation.
Thinking of mentioning this topic to my wife for nearly 2 years now but the loss for me would be far greater if she isn't interested sexually like myself.
Tried on 2 occasions now in a sober environment but I just froze and moved swiftly onto a different conversation.
Try 'pillow talk' when you may be at your most comfortable and she may be at her most receptive
I'm speaking from experience by the way. Mrs "
Really appreciate the advise...Thank You very much. Any guidance is welcome. |
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