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One liner jokes

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By *unlinguy OP Man over a year ago

South Dublin

Post your quick one liners for sunday lolz

What do ya call a bear that has no mom and dad??

Rupert the bastard ????

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By *unlinguy OP Man over a year ago

South Dublin

How do you make a horemone?

Dont pay her.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I suggested to my Girlfriend that we should make a Sex Video,

she replied If it's with you then it will be more like a GIF

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By *oo32Man over a year ago

tipperary

The dyson ball cleaner....

Very misleading name...

At least A@E isn't busy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I decided to stop masturbating but since then I haven't really been feeling myself

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By *aptain Caveman41Man over a year ago

Home

Manchester United

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By *oo32Man over a year ago

tipperary

The difference between oooooohhhh and aaaaaahhhhh

About 3 inches

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My therapist says I have a preoccupation for revenge. We’ll see about that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why can't a person have a 12 inch nose? It would be a foot....

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By *eerobCouple over a year ago

solihull

Whats the difference between a vitamin and a hormone....you can hear a vitamin

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By *iking 777Man over a year ago

wick

"Whats the difference between a vitamin and a hormone....you can hear a vitamin"

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By *aucyladMan over a year ago

Dublin

My doctor says I'm paranoid...well he didn't say it as such but I know what he meant.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My cat's recovering from a massive stroke...

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By *og-ManMan over a year ago

somewhere

"My cat's recovering from a massive stroke..."

Is this the follow up to your first joke

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By *og-ManMan over a year ago

somewhere

I went into a pub and asked for some helicopter flavour crisps.

“Sorry mate.” The barman said “We’ve only got plain !”

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What do an emu and the gas board have in common?

They can both stick their bills up their arse!

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By *oo32Man over a year ago

tipperary

I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey

But I managed to turn myself around,and that's what it's all about

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By *immysmithMan over a year ago

birr

I said to the gym instructor: “Can you teach me to do the splits?”

He said: “How flexible are you?”

I said: “I can’t make Tuesdays.” –

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By *oredchap20Man over a year ago

anywhere

Found out my docs only been prescribing placebos!

Well.. The jokes on him. I'm not even sick!

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By *lameBoyMan over a year ago

Enfield & Dublin

I told a gorgeous lady that her eyes were like spanners. Shocked and horrified she asked what I meant by that.

I said that every time I looked into them my nuts tightened.

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By *ezoMan over a year ago

The Kingdom

I keep getting calls from my local furniture store.

I told them I only wanted the one night stand.

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By *oredchap20Man over a year ago

anywhere

My girlfriends ass is like a peach.

Hairy and makes a horrible yoghurt

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By *ault_DwellerMan over a year ago

Co.Tyrone

What do a gynaecologist and pizza delivery man have in common?

They both get to smell the goods but can’t eat it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What rice does spiderman hate?

Uncle bens

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By *easingTimMan over a year ago

Loughlinstown

How do you stop a rhino from charging?

HIDE HIS CREDIT CARD!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A blind man walked into a bar.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm never going back to my gastroenterologist...he hates my guts

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why can't you hear rabbits have sex? Because they have cotton balls

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How do non Binary samurai kill people , They/(slash)Them

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By *ezoMan over a year ago

The Kingdom

Why can't you hear a psychiatrist going to the bathroom?

Because the P is silent.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Doctor: last question. Are you sexually active at all?

Patient: no no. I just lie there.

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