Is anyone else like myself I can find people nice when chatting and we can flirt and get on well and exchange face pics but truly wouldn't know if I'd personally like them until I've met them in person and spend a few hours in their company...and genuinely if it'll go any further??
Ps I've met many ppl on like dating sites over many many years and talked for ages but then we meet the chemistry just isn't there...
Is there other that feel like this? |
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By *3nsesMan
over a year ago
Dublin |
I avoid flirting and even chatting online as much as possible. I've learnt over the years that time wasted doing that only to end up in a situation where there's no mutual chemistry in person is too big to justify.
Form my own experience I've also found that the people who do enjoy a lot of online flirting etc tend to only really be interested in online flirting and it's more of the cheap and convenient thrill of that encounter that they are after. |
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Yep, can absolutely identify with that.
When I was a single woman here, I tried all sorts of approaches...long online chats with swapping face pics, swapping video messages, short chats with face pic exchange, ad hoc socials with or without exchanging face pics.
I met himself through Fab, chatted infrequently enough over the course of a few months (I messaged him first too!), no face pics exchanged by either of us and here we are, a loving couple  .
But the only way to tell if there's chemistry is by meeting in person.
Whether you or whoever you meet builds expectation after longer chat is very individual, I'd say.
I learned very quickly not to have huge expectations regardless of how long/short I was chatting and regardless of the face pics exchanged  .
Those expectations have now been lowered even further because there's 2 of us involved and with meeting couples, even more personalities, fantasies and expectations are colliding... becomes even more complicated that way  |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
It's happens sometimes when you meet there is no chemistry. But I still prefer to chat for a while and get to know the person before I meet them if we meet and there is chemistry great if there isn't any then no harm done I think. |
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By *rMac88Man
over a year ago
Dublin |
Some people prob find it hard to convey their online personality to their in person personality. Behind the phone you have time to think of a witty response but in person body language nerves etc are added to the mix. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's happens sometimes when you meet there is no chemistry. But I still prefer to chat for a while and get to know the person before I meet them if we meet and there is chemistry great if there isn't any then no harm done I think. "
 |
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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago
Newry Down |
"I avoid flirting and even chatting online as much as possible. I've learnt over the years that time wasted doing that only to end up in a situation where there's no mutual chemistry in person is too big to justify.
Form my own experience I've also found that the people who do enjoy a lot of online flirting etc tend to only really be interested in online flirting and it's more of the cheap and convenient thrill of that encounter that they are after."
I concur. |
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For me, when you haven’t even met someone for a coffee the convo on these sites just fizzle out … I think once you can get a jist of someone on here there shouldn’t be a delay in meeting for coffee and going from there …. There’s only so much too strangers can talk about via text :/ |
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Dont get too many encounters here but the few i have interacted with seem very genuine n when social happened I always had a pleasant experience n think I left the same feeling behind me ..guess I'm lucky that way .. |
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I had my first offer today from a couple but they wanted to just come to my place and go straight at it.
They seemed annoyed when I said I’d prefer to get to know someone and gain some trust before I invited anyone to my house.
They went on to say I won’t have much luck in fab if I was like that!? I politely responded saying that’s ok… if it doesn’t feel right then it’s not right and if it’s meant to happen it will!
I also mentioned that the normal thing is generally to have a social meet first!
I think I swerved my first possible disaster or did I miss an opportunity?
What’s people thoughts?  |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
"I had my first offer today from a couple but they wanted to just come to my place and go straight at it.
They seemed annoyed when I said I’d prefer to get to know someone and gain some trust before I invited anyone to my house.
They went on to say I won’t have much luck in fab if I was like that!? I politely responded saying that’s ok… if it doesn’t feel right then it’s not right and if it’s meant to happen it will!
I also mentioned that the normal thing is generally to have a social meet first!
I think I swerved my first possible disaster or did I miss an opportunity?
What’s people thoughts? "
I think you're right to go with your gut instincts
Move on and dont worry about them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had my first offer today from a couple but they wanted to just come to my place and go straight at it.
They seemed annoyed when I said I’d prefer to get to know someone and gain some trust before I invited anyone to my house.
They went on to say I won’t have much luck in fab if I was like that!? I politely responded saying that’s ok… if it doesn’t feel right then it’s not right and if it’s meant to happen it will!
I also mentioned that the normal thing is generally to have a social meet first!
I think I swerved my first possible disaster or did I miss an opportunity?
What’s people thoughts? "
Definitely right not to invite someone into ur home having never met them before ..
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"I had my first offer today from a couple but they wanted to just come to my place and go straight at it.
They seemed annoyed when I said I’d prefer to get to know someone and gain some trust before I invited anyone to my house.
They went on to say I won’t have much luck in fab if I was like that!? I politely responded saying that’s ok… if it doesn’t feel right then it’s not right and if it’s meant to happen it will!
I also mentioned that the normal thing is generally to have a social meet first!
I think I swerved my first possible disaster or did I miss an opportunity?
What’s people thoughts? "
I definitely won't be inviting anyone to my house this is my safe space I've known previously fwbs years before I had them call round it takes a while to build up trust and even then I've had experiences and i don't feel 100% safe so that's why I don't accommodate and lots don't get that either! Sorry not sorry and I won't go to someone house either until I've known them a while too! And even then it may not happen!
I've Been taken to some dodgy places when younger and fancy free but now knowing what I know...its a no from me x |
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Thanks everyone for replies and thoughts… I’m pretty comfortable I made the right decision…
I do want to experience “the life” but in a safe and comfortable way so happy to wait for if/when that happens |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think this is when people often get branded - wrongly so - as timewasters. Asking for a social meet first instead of jumping straight into bed, or indeed having the social meet and deciding it won't go further than that.
As a couple we're happy to go straight to business but if I'm meeting on my own I want that buffer for several reasons...to see the person in person, to see if there's attraction, to see if there's chemistry, to make sure there's nothing that feels "off" and to give us both a cooling off period |
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