FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Making or taking that first move
Making or taking that first move
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So have asked a few Fab friends opinion on this
I'm crap at reading signals and crap at putting myself forward or asking if someone is interested.
I know I should just ask but the fear of rejection is just too hard and I know I'm not the only one. I can have the laugh or "flirt" I do try but just never know
Give us some tips  |
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By *s LollyWoman
over a year ago
The pub then supermacs ... |
I've no bother sending the first message or if we're chatting asking them to meet usually a coffee or drink depending, i can kinda get a vibe if we've been chatting if they are interested or not, nothing ventured nothing gained is my moto..  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've no bother sending the first message or if we're chatting asking them to meet usually a coffee or drink depending, i can kinda get a vibe if we've been chatting if they are interested or not, nothing ventured nothing gained is my moto.. "
See I can't figure out the vibe bit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just some of these alone should tell you,but I'm a bit like you DD I never see it,I'm told by my friends etc,but I'm too much of having the craic an banter it's hard to see..This is what I was told to look out for a few months back in regards signs..
He leans toward you during conversation. ...
He angles his body toward you in the room. ...
He finds small ways to compliment you. ...
He makes eye contact. ...
He steals a glance at you. ...
He singles you out in a group. ...
He seems drawn to you in the room.
 |
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By *ukas88Man
over a year ago
castlebar |
"I've no bother sending the first message or if we're chatting asking them to meet usually a coffee or drink depending, i can kinda get a vibe if we've been chatting if they are interested or not, nothing ventured nothing gained is my moto.. "
So why didn't you write back when I wrote to you?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I use a cost benefit analysis if I fancy someone
Cost of rejection
A bit of a blow to the ego
Benefit of saying yes
One off or repeated fun over a long périod
So , you know , I always ask "
I know you do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just some of these alone should tell you,but I'm a bit like you DD I never see it,I'm told by my friends etc,but I'm too much of having the craic an banter it's hard to see..This is what I was told to look out for a few months back in regards signs..
He leans toward you during conversation. ...
He angles his body toward you in the room. ...
He finds small ways to compliment you. ...
He makes eye contact. ...
He steals a glance at you. ...
He singles you out in a group. ...
He seems drawn to you in the room.
"
Im leaning towards you in here |
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Well im ok with the guys to a point of... daring a picture thumbs up and a sneekie wink but rarely id message first as id just loose confidence by then...
But absolutely shockinly crap and a blithering idiot with the ladies!
Like i turn into an elderly aunt with topics such as nice weather and oh your hair or nails are lovely lol like how do you flirt with girls without coming off as a "oh nice tits" bloke ????!!!!  lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just some of these alone should tell you,but I'm a bit like you DD I never see it,I'm told by my friends etc,but I'm too much of having the craic an banter it's hard to see..This is what I was told to look out for a few months back in regards signs..
He leans toward you during conversation. ...
He angles his body toward you in the room. ...
He finds small ways to compliment you. ...
He makes eye contact. ...
He steals a glance at you. ...
He singles you out in a group. ...
He seems drawn to you in the room.
Im leaning towards you in here "
Lean a bit more so I can run my fingers down your neck, you got some fluff hanging off lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just some of these alone should tell you,but I'm a bit like you DD I never see it,I'm told by my friends etc,but I'm too much of having the craic an banter it's hard to see..This is what I was told to look out for a few months back in regards signs..
He leans toward you during conversation. ...
He angles his body toward you in the room. ...
He finds small ways to compliment you. ...
He makes eye contact. ...
He steals a glance at you. ...
He singles you out in a group. ...
He seems drawn to you in the room.
Im leaning towards you in here
Lean a bit more so I can run my fingers down your neck, you got some fluff hanging off lol "
You could lean into my mail box  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well im ok with the guys to a point of... daring a picture thumbs up and a sneekie wink but rarely id message first as id just loose confidence by then...
But absolutely shockinly crap and a blithering idiot with the ladies!
Like i turn into an elderly aunt with topics such as nice weather and oh your hair or nails are lovely lol like how do you flirt with girls without coming off as a "oh nice tits" bloke ????!!!! lol"
See I will fab a pic, if been chatting to guy or met at a social will pop a message re a pic or something but it's getting to the next step |
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"Well im ok with the guys to a point of... daring a picture thumbs up and a sneekie wink but rarely id message first as id just loose confidence by then...
But absolutely shockinly crap and a blithering idiot with the ladies!
Like i turn into an elderly aunt with topics such as nice weather and oh your hair or nails are lovely lol like how do you flirt with girls without coming off as a "oh nice tits" bloke ????!!!! lol
See I will fab a pic, if been chatting to guy or met at a social will pop a message re a pic or something but it's getting to the next step "
I find it all very daunting and im the same as it usually takes me a month or a billion to even get to that stage lol then its oh crap what next and i turn into a disaster on a first date...the one whos makeup ran...hair is a mess...and dress is tucked into her knickers...  lol
I get so nervous
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Glad to see I'm not the only idiot on here....
Sometimes just grab the bull by the horns and just send a message to say....fancy a coffee....
Thats it
Exactly  "
Oh maybe a valentines thread might help |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
"Glad to see I'm not the only idiot on here....
Sometimes just grab the bull by the horns and just send a message to say....fancy a coffee....
Thats it
Exactly
Oh maybe a valentines thread might help "
Well it can't do any harm |
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"So have asked a few Fab friends opinion on this
I'm crap at reading signals and crap at putting myself forward or asking if someone is interested.
I know I should just ask but the fear of rejection is just too hard and I know I'm not the only one. I can have the laugh or "flirt" I do try but just never know
Give us some tips "
Just imagine yourself on your deathbed and how you'll feel about not feeling the fear and doing it anyway. You've done this before and it all worked out, didn't it?
I know that's morbid but it can put things into perspective.
We only have one life, let's just give it our best shot and f**k the fear of rejection, it won't matter a damn once we're gone.
Now if I could only follow my own advice I'd be grand
Mrs |
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From a browse at your photos your seem quite an attractive woman and I think most men (if that is your target market) would be quite flattered if you were flirting with them, I had a coffee with two fellow fabbers on Monday who told me I was the object of someone's desires but I was completely oblivious, so I'd say make it obvious, tell them woo your attractive, or maybe even something cheeky like hey sailor new in town |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I take the attitude that if I'm interested, I'll say it, if I'm turned down I'll be no worse off than before. Someone not wanting to have sex with me isn't going to change my opinion of myself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve always been quite confident and realise I’m not everyone’s greek god. If I wink I like ya, if you wink back I’ll mail.
If you don’t, I might still mail
As you may not have seen the wink. I do like when people
Respond even just to say not for me or us.
I have a habit of sometime a blocking people who say no as I don’t wanna mail them again by accident but this is not always the case. |
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"So have asked a few Fab friends opinion on this
I'm crap at reading signals and crap at putting myself forward or asking if someone is interested.
I know I should just ask but the fear of rejection is just too hard and I know I'm not the only one. I can have the laugh or "flirt" I do try but just never know
Give us some tips "
Agree im absolutely terrible at reading the signs. Have been out a few times and noticed women coming up to me smiling at the bar,body aiming towards me, i tend to turn away or stay chatting in the group im in. Def say iv missed out on opportunities over it  |
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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago
Newry Down |
On several significant occasions earlier in my life I missed out on excellent opportunities that might have changed my path; but since I have been on fab, I have been significantly more proactive, positive and willing to respond to signals from attractive ladies of all ages. |
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By *NawtyCplCouple
over a year ago
Around and about |
"So have asked a few Fab friends opinion on this
I'm crap at reading signals and crap at putting myself forward or asking if someone is interested.
I know I should just ask but the fear of rejection is just too hard and I know I'm not the only one. I can have the laugh or "flirt" I do try but just never know
Give us some tips "
Casually drop the hand like and distractedly leave it there |
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It takes someone to say 'message me' for me to think they might want me to message them and even then I'd wonder why
Then the first message is most likely me taking the piss out of them because I don't know how to be serious  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So have asked a few Fab friends opinion on this
I'm crap at reading signals and crap at putting myself forward or asking if someone is interested.
I know I should just ask but the fear of rejection is just too hard and I know I'm not the only one. I can have the laugh or "flirt" I do try but just never know
Give us some tips
Casually drop the hand like and distractedly leave it there "
Coffee and catch up soon xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It takes someone to say 'message me' for me to think they might want me to message them and even then I'd wonder why
Then the first message is most likely me taking the piss out of them because I don't know how to be serious "
See I'm grand at the over and back of messages its just the bite the bullet message |
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"It takes someone to say 'message me' for me to think they might want me to message them and even then I'd wonder why
Then the first message is most likely me taking the piss out of them because I don't know how to be serious
See I'm grand at the over and back of messages its just the bite the bullet message "
I did do one of those a few weeks ago and said I liked his coat lol it did the job mind |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So have asked a few Fab friends opinion on this
I'm crap at reading signals and crap at putting myself forward or asking if someone is interested.
I know I should just ask but the fear of rejection is just too hard and I know I'm not the only one. I can have the laugh or "flirt" I do try but just never know
Give us some tips "
I’m in the same boat! Can’t read people at all and cannot sell myself   |
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By *NawtyCplCouple
over a year ago
Around and about |
"So have asked a few Fab friends opinion on this
I'm crap at reading signals and crap at putting myself forward or asking if someone is interested.
I know I should just ask but the fear of rejection is just too hard and I know I'm not the only one. I can have the laugh or "flirt" I do try but just never know
Give us some tips
Casually drop the hand like and distractedly leave it there "
Sweet!
See its easy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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DD sometimes a person can be sitting in the same room or tablets you.
It's not always obvious their interested.
Like other s have said bite the bullet and ask for a coffee.
Your one of the nicest people and always engage with others..
Go get them girl xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"DD sometimes a person can be sitting in the same room or tablets you.
It's not always obvious their interested.
Like other s have said bite the bullet and ask for a coffee.
Your one of the nicest people and always engage with others..
Go get them girl xxx"
Table |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It takes someone to say 'message me' for me to think they might want me to message them and even then I'd wonder why
Then the first message is most likely me taking the piss out of them because I don't know how to be serious "
Message me so |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You are not alone DD thats for sure. And you could fancy someone who is as unsure as yourself! Stalemate... you may have to be the proactive one if it means a lot to you. Be brave and say it if you'd like to meet for a cuppa.
Or if you are at a social, just say 'id really like to kiss you, what do you think'
If its a no, say no worries, let the discomfort be brief and move on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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DD for me i think if someone is chatting away regularly and we are getting on well the attraction and chemistry is there i just pounce with my claws lol. Only joking not like that well maybe sometimes but no i just ask straight out and if it's a no i don't waste mt time to much anymore and i move on to who is interested. I just think you don't know unless you ask and sometimes it's just down to time and patience if someone says they are interested and just very busy.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I take the attitude that if I'm interested, I'll say it, if I'm turned down I'll be no worse off than before. Someone not wanting to have sex with me isn't going to change my opinion of myself. "
great point here and it's just like how the men get rejected all the time, everyone to their own preferences. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Are people talking about reading the signals at social events or here online?"
For example there's a few guys I've met at socials and there's the odd message here and there since but I'm not brave enough to ask about meeting or having coffee |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
"Are people talking about reading the signals at social events or here online?
For example there's a few guys I've met at socials and there's the odd message here and there since but I'm not brave enough to ask about meeting or having coffee "
Ok ok .....tell me who and I'll ask them will they ask my mate out for coffee
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"Are people talking about reading the signals at social events or here online?
For example there's a few guys I've met at socials and there's the odd message here and there since but I'm not brave enough to ask about meeting or having coffee "
If they're engaging and asking about you, they're interested. If they're answering a question and no more then they're being polite.
I guess it depends on how interested you are. If it's only the odd msg its hard to get a connection. If you're curious then go for it.
Be brave, you can do it! Says me, a scaredy shitebag |
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By *ubyShuWoman
over a year ago
Nearby |
"Are people talking about reading the signals at social events or here online?
For example there's a few guys I've met at socials and there's the odd message here and there since but I'm not brave enough to ask about meeting or having coffee "
This is so me!! Always end up putting my foot in it or have no clue what to say!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are people talking about reading the signals at social events or here online?
For example there's a few guys I've met at socials and there's the odd message here and there since but I'm not brave enough to ask about meeting or having coffee
Ok ok .....tell me who and I'll ask them will they ask my mate out for coffee
"
Lol great idea, DD this will totally save you the hassle. |
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