FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Personality type and fab
Personality type and fab
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By *asual777 OP Man
over a year ago
i travel all over |
Do you think there are personality types/traits which suit being a fabber more than others ?
Or is it a question of learning how to navigate the site/lifestyle ?
So for example jealousy or excessive sensitivity probably aren’t compatible with enjoying being on here . Is this something which we can unlearn by sticking around , learning how to deal with situations we find difficult initially , maybe talking to others who have been on for longer ?
Or are there some whose personality types are essentially incompatible with being on here ?
Are there ‘born fabbers’ as such or can you just learn what to do ?
Please keep discussions respectful and anonymous .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good question Casual. From my point of view,I have found that when I was younger I was outwardly loud and brash but actually quite shy in a 1 to 1 situation. Getting into the fab lifestyle has helped me a lot has eased my shyness. Thanks to the lovely people I have met . |
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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago
Newry Down |
The watchword for success on fab is the ability to be discreet; there are unwritten rules for successful engaging with other like-minded people who are straying beyond the conventional bounds of monogamous relationships, adventurously.
Those who join but don't get it, get left behind.
Those of us who do get it, become trusted friends who live an alternative style of life, discretely! |
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By *asual777 OP Man
over a year ago
i travel all over |
"Definitely. Being a successful single man here in particular requires mental strength and resiliency.
Couples require excellent communication skills and high trust levels.
"
High trust levels absolutely |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Definitely. Being a successful single man here in particular requires mental strength and resiliency.
Couples require excellent communication skills and high trust levels.
"
Single women need a thick skin to last here.. the initial few months as a newbie can be quite overwhelming.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Keep your thoughts to yourself, toe the line, play along with the “clique” otherwise you’ll be frozen out. It’s all a game of tact 
Yes. Not being an asshole helps too"
Very true. But having an opinion that differs from someone doesn’t make you an asshole.
It’s like a teenager secondary school mentality. |
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"Keep your thoughts to yourself, toe the line, play along with the “clique” otherwise you’ll be frozen out. It’s all a game of tact
Yes. Not being an asshole helps too
Very true. But having an opinion that differs from someone doesn’t make you an asshole.
It’s like a teenager secondary school mentality. "
Oh I agree. Acting like an asshole is the best indicator of being an asshole. Its perfectly possible to disagree and not reduce yourself to assholery. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have good social and communication skills, patience, tolerance. Be open minded to learn from others, friendly, have integrity. There is probably more but i'm half asleep this morning so half measures.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Keep your thoughts to yourself, toe the line, play along with the “clique” otherwise you’ll be frozen out. It’s all a game of tact
Yes. Not being an asshole helps too
Very true. But having an opinion that differs from someone doesn’t make you an asshole.
It’s like a teenager secondary school mentality.
Oh I agree. Acting like an asshole is the best indicator of being an asshole. Its perfectly possible to disagree and not reduce yourself to assholery. "
That’s your opinion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think anyone can learn to navigate this lifestyle successfully. For example jealousy isn't a bad thing, it's an emotion for most people and hits you when you don't want it. But you can learn how to deal with it and move on.
The lifestyle is different depending on whether you're on here single or in a couple but I agree with FilthyNights that trust and communication needs to be no. 1 if you're a couple. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was recommended the site as a good way to boost my confidence, was thsn told by another fabber that the site didn't suit me.
It can be tough, you definitely need a tough skin regarding nasty comments etc but I've learnt that kind of behaviour says more about the person saying it , not me.
I sometimes doubt my presence here as I would not consider myself a " swinger" but I enjoy the site and enjoy the forums.
I do think been on here has made me feel confident and realising that guys do like curvy women |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Keep your thoughts to yourself, toe the line, play along with the “clique” otherwise you’ll be frozen out. It’s all a game of tact
Yes. Not being an asshole helps too"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think anyone can learn to navigate this lifestyle successfully. For example jealousy isn't a bad thing, it's an emotion for most people and hits you when you don't want it. But you can learn how to deal with it and move on.
The lifestyle is different depending on whether you're on here single or in a couple but I agree with FilthyNights that trust and communication needs to be no. 1 if you're a couple. "
Well said |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was recommended the site as a good way to boost my confidence, was thsn told by another fabber that the site didn't suit me.
It can be tough, you definitely need a tough skin regarding nasty comments etc but I've learnt that kind of behaviour says more about the person saying it , not me.
I sometimes doubt my presence here as I would not consider myself a " swinger" but I enjoy the site and enjoy the forums.
I do think been on here has made me feel confident and realising that guys do like curvy women"
Very good point. I wouldn’t class myself as a swinger,if I click with someone yeah great, maybe progress to a meet etc. the forums are interesting to say the least.
Getting nasty comments is never nice and I would never condone that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was recommended the site as a good way to boost my confidence, was thsn told by another fabber that the site didn't suit me.
It can be tough, you definitely need a tough skin regarding nasty comments etc but I've learnt that kind of behaviour says more about the person saying it , not me.
I sometimes doubt my presence here as I would not consider myself a " swinger" but I enjoy the site and enjoy the forums.
I do think been on here has made me feel confident and realising that guys do like curvy women
Very good point. I wouldn’t class myself as a swinger,if I click with someone yeah great, maybe progress to a meet etc. the forums are interesting to say the least.
Getting nasty comments is never nice and I would never condone that. "
Complain the nasty comments as people would do it to you without question. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think people can adapt to most situations if the desire is there.
Most people I think that dont get on well here or find it an overly negative experience come with misconceptions and unreal expectations.
They don't actually want what is on offer so don't adapt rather than can't.
The same goes for most situations in life too I find |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think people can adapt to most situations if the desire is there.
Most people I think that dont get on well here or find it an overly negative experience come with misconceptions and unreal expectations.
They don't actually want what is on offer so don't adapt rather than can't.
The same goes for most situations in life too I find"
Excellent point. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was recommended the site as a good way to boost my confidence, was thsn told by another fabber that the site didn't suit me.
It can be tough, you definitely need a tough skin regarding nasty comments etc but I've learnt that kind of behaviour says more about the person saying it , not me.
I sometimes doubt my presence here as I would not consider myself a " swinger" but I enjoy the site and enjoy the forums.
I do think been on here has made me feel confident and realising that guys do like curvy women
Very good point. I wouldn’t class myself as a swinger,if I click with someone yeah great, maybe progress to a meet etc. the forums are interesting to say the least.
Getting nasty comments is never nice and I would never condone that.
Complain the nasty comments as people would do it to you without question. "
I’ve never posted nasty comments. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was recommended the site as a good way to boost my confidence, was thsn told by another fabber that the site didn't suit me.
It can be tough, you definitely need a tough skin regarding nasty comments etc but I've learnt that kind of behaviour says more about the person saying it , not me.
I sometimes doubt my presence here as I would not consider myself a " swinger" but I enjoy the site and enjoy the forums.
I do think been on here has made me feel confident and realising that guys do like curvy women
Very good point. I wouldn’t class myself as a swinger,if I click with someone yeah great, maybe progress to a meet etc. the forums are interesting to say the least.
Getting nasty comments is never nice and I would never condone that.
Complain the nasty comments as people would do it to you without question.
I’ve never posted nasty comments. "
I haven't said you did. I am just saying report them if you're feeling bad. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was recommended the site as a good way to boost my confidence, was thsn told by another fabber that the site didn't suit me.
It can be tough, you definitely need a tough skin regarding nasty comments etc but I've learnt that kind of behaviour says more about the person saying it , not me.
I sometimes doubt my presence here as I would not consider myself a " swinger" but I enjoy the site and enjoy the forums.
I do think been on here has made me feel confident and realising that guys do like curvy women
Very good point. I wouldn’t class myself as a swinger,if I click with someone yeah great, maybe progress to a meet etc. the forums are interesting to say the least.
Getting nasty comments is never nice and I would never condone that.
Complain the nasty comments as people would do it to you without question.
I’ve never posted nasty comments.
I haven't said you did. I am just saying report them if you're feeling bad. "
Ah ok apologies |
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I think it's about choosing a swinging lifestyle that suits your own personality  So whether you're an extrovert who loves large parties or a empathetic introvert who prefers close meaningfule encounters with one favourite playmates, there's always choice and a place for you on Fab...
Regarding sensitivity, how one person handles "rejection" can be a matter of one person saying "Next!!" and moving on while another takes it as "what's wrong with me?"  so that's why I always say don't take Fab too seriously as lets face it, you are not your profile pic. I mean Lord help us all (and the world) if our everyday personalities and fab personnas were one and the same!! 
Myself I'm by nature an introvert so a public display in Vanilla isn't for me. I'm also not an excessive flirt in real life so I guess Fab can be a nice outlet to let other aspects of your personality out there!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I think it's about choosing a swinging lifestyle that suits your own personality So whether you're an extrovert who loves large parties or a empathetic introvert who prefers close meaningfule encounters with one favourite playmates, there's always choice and a place for you on Fab...
Regarding sensitivity, how one person handles "rejection" can be a matter of one person saying "Next!!" and moving on while another takes it as "what's wrong with me?" so that's why I always say don't take Fab too seriously as lets face it, you are not your profile pic. I mean Lord help us all (and the world) if our everyday personalities and fab personnas were one and the same!!
Myself I'm by nature an introvert so a public display in Vanilla isn't for me. I'm also not an excessive flirt in real life so I guess Fab can be a nice outlet to let other aspects of your personality out there! "
With you there on the introversion, parties and clubs aren't for us in any life |
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I've grown to have a "fuck it" personality. Fuck it, let's see if I like it. Fuck it, let's see if it's fun. Fuck it, life is too short. Fuck it, I don't care what people think anymore. And so on ..... |
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This is my 4th time on Fab and this time its all me.
No navigating friendships and not meeting the same people to avoid jealousy.
I will meet who I want, obviously the poor souls get a choice too 
I don't generally meet for sex, I have my rules which I mostly stick to and I'm enjoying fab more than I have before because of it.
I'm toying with experimenting and while the introvert in me is horrified, the wannabe extrovert is banging the jumanji drums.
I wonder who will win |
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"I've grown to have a "fuck it" personality. Fuck it, let's see if I like it. Fuck it, let's see if it's fun. Fuck it, life is too short. Fuck it, I don't care what people think anymore. And so on ....."
-------------
You know what...that philosophy has the makings of being a bestselling book. Good attitude! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've grown to have a "fuck it" personality. Fuck it, let's see if I like it. Fuck it, let's see if it's fun. Fuck it, life is too short. Fuck it, I don't care what people think anymore. And so on ....."
Yes !!! Me too |
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"
I think it's about choosing a swinging lifestyle that suits your own personality So whether you're an extrovert who loves large parties or a empathetic introvert who prefers close meaningfule encounters with one favourite playmates, there's always choice and a place for you on Fab...
Regarding sensitivity, how one person handles "rejection" can be a matter of one person saying "Next!!" and moving on while another takes it as "what's wrong with me?" so that's why I always say don't take Fab too seriously as lets face it, you are not your profile pic. I mean Lord help us all (and the world) if our everyday personalities and fab personnas were one and the same!!
Myself I'm by nature an introvert so a public display in Vanilla isn't for me. I'm also not an excessive flirt in real life so I guess Fab can be a nice outlet to let other aspects of your personality out there! "
Its good to see you back on the forums old friend x |
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
I'd say it helps if you're properly openminded, have a decent self confidence and treat others the way you like to be treated. Further listen to your gut feeling, learn from your mistakes and have some sort of intelligence and use the latter. |
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By *3nsesMan
over a year ago
Dublin |
The dynamics of Fab and how the different personalities get on isn't any different to your local sports club/non sporting club from my experience. People will always have different priorities and attitudes to it and their personalities will impact their experience of it.
Generally the people who struggle are the ones who don't take on any responsibility for their own behaviour and how that's impacted on things. |
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"I'd say it helps if you're properly openminded, have a decent self confidence and treat others the way you like to be treated. Further listen to your gut feeling, learn from your mistakes and have some sort of intelligence and use the latter. "
"treat others the way you like to be treated"?
But, but... I don't have a front bottom  |
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By *asual777 OP Man
over a year ago
i travel all over |
"I'd say it helps if you're properly openminded, have a decent self confidence and treat others the way you like to be treated. Further listen to your gut feeling, learn from your mistakes and have some sort of intelligence and use the latter.
"treat others the way you like to be treated"?
But, but... I don't have a front bottom "
She meant with kindness and respect I think
Not like how you insert your penis |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Generally the people who struggle are the ones who don't take on any responsibility for their own behaviour and how that's impacted on things. "
Life in a nutshell |
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"Do you think there are personality types/traits which suit being a fabber more than others ?
Or is it a question of learning how to navigate the site/lifestyle ?
So for example jealousy or excessive sensitivity probably aren’t compatible with enjoying being on here . Is this something which we can unlearn by sticking around , learning how to deal with situations we find difficult initially , maybe talking to others who have been on for longer ?
Or are there some whose personality types are essentially incompatible with being on here ?
Are there ‘born fabbers’ as such or can you just learn what to do ?
Please keep discussions respectful and anonymous ...."
Define Fabber, define Fab lifestyle...the age old question of why anyone is here really combined with what's actually on offer. There's a learning curve in that in itself!
I believe that whatever it is you're looking for, no matter whether you are a single woman, man, couple or TV/TS, you will need oodles of patience, resilience, a sense of humour as well as a "fuck it, let's see what happens and go with the flow" attitude. I think anyone who has a rigid plan or goal set would probably be sorely disappointed because life has a tendency to get in the way. Flexibility and adaptability are key.
Ideally you will be able to see it as part of your journey of enlightenment, discovering things about you, you never knew, things that other people bring out in you, as well as what effect you can have on those you get involved with. (I sound like I'm putting together an advertisement for a job ).
If you're not someone with a certain sense of self, some amount of confidence, a willingness and openness to learn how to handle yourself, your emotions and communicate with other people, then this site can probably be detrimental for confidence.
I do believe jealousy to be a natural emotion. The key is how you and the person you're jealous over deals with it.
You definitely need a thick skin here... and it's like with anything in life - you'll have those who seem to be naturally born into the lifestyle, navigating it with ease and grace and you'll have the Bridget Jones type who fall over one hurdle after another, embarrassing themselves in their perceived social awkwardness, who will find those that love exactly that |
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