FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Rejection
Rejection
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Its not nice for anyone but getting abusive on messages shouldn't be allowed. Now I know I'll probably get a slap for this but replied politely to a guy that wasn't interested and the best he could come up with as call me a stupid fat bitch.
So I'm calling out guys and gals on this, rejection isn't nice for anyone bit we all have our preferences if I'm rejected by a guy and I have been plenty of times, I just say thanks , no bother and move on, it would NEVER EVER cross my mind to get nasty.
Another thread asks what we can do about behaviour of people, we'll here's what I'm doing. I'm calling out this nasty behaviour. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I prefer someone being honest and saying they’re not interested rather than just ghosting me. Yes it’s disappointing but I’m not gonna force you, I’ve got no right. If you’ve taken the time to politely refuse, the least you can do is politely accept it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its not nice for anyone but getting abusive on messages shouldn't be allowed. Now I know I'll probably get a slap for this but replied politely to a guy that wasn't interested and the best he could come up with as call me a stupid fat bitch.
So I'm calling out guys and gals on this, rejection isn't nice for anyone bit we all have our preferences if I'm rejected by a guy and I have been plenty of times, I just say thanks , no bother and move on, it would NEVER EVER cross my mind to get nasty.
Another thread asks what we can do about behaviour of people, we'll here's what I'm doing. I'm calling out this nasty behaviour. "
The fact that this person reacted like that to you saying no says a lot about that person |
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I think on a site like this no matter who you are it’s part of the package your going to get shot down and your going to shoot some people down too. But it’s very very important I think that your at the very least respectful about how you do it |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
Before mods remove the thread maybe the rules can be explained a bit better so we can understand them
If someone is abusive in a message on fab can the mods see the message to ban that person for good or is it just a temporary ban
The woman ( mostly) do they get bans for starting threads like this without naming anyone or is it ok to start a general conversation |
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By *heilsWoman
over a year ago
Midlands |
There are a few different scenerios I find happen....
1. A guy messages, you politely decline. He says thanks and goes on his way.
2. A guy messages, you politely decline, they keep doing ping pong messages that ah sure cmon, you'll love it, I'm a nice guy, I really like you etc etc...can't take rejection and think they can convince you to meet. Hence women give up declining and just ghost...
3. A guy messages, you politely decline, he gets abusive and insulting, calling us fat bitches and sluts etc because they are messaging any woman on fab as they think it's dial a ride and God forbid, no woman will turn them down as we are all desperate.
It's a minefield .... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There are a few different scenerios I find happen....
1. A guy messages, you politely decline. He says thanks and goes on his way.
2. A guy messages, you politely decline, they keep doing ping pong messages that ah sure cmon, you'll love it, I'm a nice guy, I really like you etc etc...can't take rejection and think they can convince you to meet. Hence women give up declining and just ghost...
3. A guy messages, you politely decline, he gets abusive and insulting, calling us fat bitches and sluts etc because they are messaging any woman on fab as they think it's dial a ride and God forbid, no woman will turn them down as we are all desperate.
It's a minefield ...."
The chance we take everytime we answer a message, maybe if an abusive message is reported the person gets a time out from messaging |
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By *heilsWoman
over a year ago
Midlands |
"Before mods remove the thread maybe the rules can be explained a bit better so we can understand them
If someone is abusive in a message on fab can the mods see the message to ban that person for good or is it just a temporary ban
The woman ( mostly) do they get bans for starting threads like this without naming anyone or is it ok to start a general conversation "
I don't get why would this thread be removed? No names were used, DD is just pointing out about some general behaviour of some people on the back of a horrid message she received today that she nor any other person on fab deserves .... |
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By *ateniteCouple
over a year ago
Youghal |
We've been lucky in that we have never had abuse following a rejection. But we do find that we get repeat 'copy and paste' messages from guys so we have only recently started to use the note function and block button.
To be fair to the guys we've come across, the only major hassle we have had was from another couple. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s ridiculous. And I don’t know what angry folk expect.
After revealing the ugliest possible version of their fragile ego, do they expect a change of heart? - oh okay I will sleep with you now you threw a tantrum.
Safest thing to do is not reply and maybe even block them  the site rules state that no reply means no interest and doesn’t require further explanation.
For the most part, it’s the men who seem to need to cop on. |
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"Its not nice for anyone but getting abusive on messages shouldn't be allowed. Now I know I'll probably get a slap for this but replied politely to a guy that wasn't interested and the best he could come up with as call me a stupid fat bitch.
So I'm calling out guys and gals on this, rejection isn't nice for anyone bit we all have our preferences if I'm rejected by a guy and I have been plenty of times, I just say thanks , no bother and move on, it would NEVER EVER cross my mind to get nasty.
Another thread asks what we can do about behaviour of people, we'll here's what I'm doing. I'm calling out this nasty behaviour. "
There is a now a national conversation about this with the dreadful murder of Ashling Murphy. Any violence towards women needs to be stopped at the source and that includes name-calling. If men believe women should just bow down and be delighted that a man is interested in them then they need psychological help. This behaviour by men needs to be stamped out and everyone of them should be reported. |
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Totally unacceptable behaviour DD , we ve been lucky and haven't really been on the receiving end but if we get a sense that someone isn't taking a "NO" politely ,we just block before it goes any further . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’d pay no heed to it tbh. There’s so many other things in life to worry about without letting someone hiding behind a keyboard to annoy me. That’s their insecurities coming out, block and move on. It may seem a little crash but don’t waste any time on it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Its not nice for anyone but getting abusive on messages shouldn't be allowed. Now I know I'll probably get a slap for this but replied politely to a guy that wasn't interested and the best he could come up with as call me a stupid fat bitch.
So I'm calling out guys and gals on this, rejection isn't nice for anyone bit we all have our preferences if I'm rejected by a guy and I have been plenty of times, I just say thanks , no bother and move on, it would NEVER EVER cross my mind to get nasty.
Another thread asks what we can do about behaviour of people, we'll here's what I'm doing. I'm calling out this nasty behaviour.
There is a now a national conversation about this with the dreadful murder of Ashling Murphy. Any violence towards women needs to be stopped at the source and that includes name-calling. If men believe women should just bow down and be delighted that a man is interested in them then they need psychological help. This behaviour by men needs to be stamped out and everyone of them should be reported. "
And that's why I posted this. As said have been rejected before and it stings but I also realise I'm not to everyone's preference and that's fine. But to think its okay to be nasty is what has to stop. |
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I went through a phase there a while ago of replying to messages with a simple no, some copped on and were polite, worryingly some didnt understand and kept asking to meet, after a few replays of no I would ask them how many times would I have to say to their face before they would stop? They thought it was banter.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Here is the thing....
Fab has from what I can see a really poor history of controlling abusive and trolling behaviour.
You get banned for calling it out, for copy and pasting it, you can be banned for telling someone on the forum you found where they took their fake pics from. Etc.. .
Yet serial offenders of abusive behaviour and picture stealing and so on can continue to use the site and return again and agian....
Threads like this do nothing as its the people who call out the behaviour get the punishment.
Would a mass petition or withholding of site supporter fees or full boycott until stricter measure and actions were implemented work? Would people be bothered to do it? |
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"Here is the thing....
Fab has from what I can see a really poor history of controlling abusive and trolling behaviour.
You get banned for calling it out, for copy and pasting it, you can be banned for telling someone on the forum you found where they took their fake pics from. Etc.. .
Yet serial offenders of abusive behaviour and picture stealing and so on can continue to use the site and return again and agian....
Threads like this do nothing as its the people who call out the behaviour get the punishment.
Would a mass petition or withholding of site supporter fees or full boycott until stricter measure and actions were implemented work? Would people be bothered to do it?"
I completely agree with you, but in short no I don't think anyone would be bothered. Things don't change around here, it's always been like this. I think the key is to not let it get to you and just use the tools fab does give like filters, notes and block. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for the support and messages I have reported him and on speaking to a few other fabbers he has done the same to them. I just feel that maybe an option to stop them messaging for a day or two might make them think.
If admin wish to close the thread, please do |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"Here is the thing....
Fab has from what I can see a really poor history of controlling abusive and trolling behaviour.
You get banned for calling it out, for copy and pasting it, you can be banned for telling someone on the forum you found where they took their fake pics from. Etc.. .
Yet serial offenders of abusive behaviour and picture stealing and so on can continue to use the site and return again and agian....
Threads like this do nothing as its the people who call out the behaviour get the punishment.
Would a mass petition or withholding of site supporter fees or full boycott until stricter measure and actions were implemented work? Would people be bothered to do it?
I completely agree with you, but in short no I don't think anyone would be bothered. Things don't change around here, it's always been like this. I think the key is to not let it get to you and just use the tools fab does give like filters, notes and block. "
 I tend to agree with you on this. It's not just here it's everywhere on the internet people will be abusive and shitty a lot of the times feck all gets done about it.
I learnt early on not to get upset or pissed off about it on here and just block and move on .I reported plenty but nothing was ever done so don't anymore. I keep filters tight so I barely get any messages which suits me and if I see any that might be abusive before I open them I delete them unread.
Even this thread is pointless as it won't make a blind bit of difference the only thing it will go is let the cockwomble who sent that message know he got to DD and upset her and that will most likely be exactly what he wanted.
But DD just be happy you did reject him it would be worse had you actually met the knobend and at least he showed what he is truly like .There are a lot more on here of both genders who don't until after they have met someone. They are by far the worst. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I prefer someone being honest and saying they’re not interested rather than just ghosting me. Yes it’s disappointing but I’m not gonna force you, I’ve got no right. If you’ve taken the time to politely refuse, the least you can do is politely accept it."
Exactly, this is the correct way to behave. If I message someone and they say they’re not interested I say ok no problem, thanks for messaging back anyway, appreciate it. It costs nothing to be nice and polite to everyone. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Here is the thing....
Fab has from what I can see a really poor history of controlling abusive and trolling behaviour.
You get banned for calling it out, for copy and pasting it, you can be banned for telling someone on the forum you found where they took their fake pics from. Etc.. .
Yet serial offenders of abusive behaviour and picture stealing and so on can continue to use the site and return again and agian....
Threads like this do nothing as its the people who call out the behaviour get the punishment.
Would a mass petition or withholding of site supporter fees or full boycott until stricter measure and actions were implemented work? Would people be bothered to do it?
I completely agree with you, but in short no I don't think anyone would be bothered. Things don't change around here, it's always been like this. I think the key is to not let it get to you and just use the tools fab does give like filters, notes and block.
I tend to agree with you on this. It's not just here it's everywhere on the internet people will be abusive and shitty a lot of the times feck all gets done about it.
I learnt early on not to get upset or pissed off about it on here and just block and move on .I reported plenty but nothing was ever done so don't anymore. I keep filters tight so I barely get any messages which suits me and if I see any that might be abusive before I open them I delete them unread.
Even this thread is pointless as it won't make a blind bit of difference the only thing it will go is let the cockwomble who sent that message know he got to DD and upset her and that will most likely be exactly what he wanted.
But DD just be happy you did reject him it would be worse had you actually met the knobend and at least he showed what he is truly like .There are a lot more on here of both genders who don't until after they have met someone. They are by far the worst. "
so true xx |
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I speak with less than a handful of people in DM. If the subject line catches my eye, I'll read and respond if it suits me to. But much more than once, I've been called a plethora of names for not responding. One man told me I must be "dog rough and skanky cos I've no pictures and no verifications". Which simply isn't true. I do have one friends only pic  |
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It's not always about what is said though and sometimes what is not said.
If I find that a conversation is going nowhere or its all one way I'll let it fizzle out.
I've then seen a different side to some people through their forum engagement and have been thankful to have avoided those bullets and blocked.
That has been enough to be accused of rejection many months later when they realised they could no longer see my profile and forum trolling and snide remarks every time I posted then followed.
So one person's interpretation of rejection is anothers delusion. |
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By *asual777Man
over a year ago
i travel all over |
First of all sorry to hear this happened again DD. I am aware it has happened really quite a lot to you and I assume a number of other ladies.
It’s difficult to police though. You can just start a new profile and be abusive again . Calling people out is the right thing to do but the anonymity and multiple profiles makes it difficult to make a real impact .
So for that reason there is the expectation/culture of needing a thick skin to deal with it .
It’s a variant of the same ‘trait’ required to be on the forums where one wrong sentence can land you in a storm, a kik group where a thoughtless comment can land you in a soup , or a single male profile where you re likely to experience numerous rejections purely because of ratios.
It’s a tough environment . And it can feel far from fun on some days .
I think it’s important to emphasise that I am not likening abusive comments to not getting replies . I am merely pointing out that I personally have learnt to not get too annoyed by stuff on here . Mr or Mrs anonymous in county whatever do not have the authority or the power to shape my day |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"First of all sorry to hear this happened again DD. I am aware it has happened really quite a lot to you and I assume a number of other ladies.
It’s difficult to police though. You can just start a new profile and be abusive again . Calling people out is the right thing to do but the anonymity and multiple profiles makes it difficult to make a real impact .
So for that reason there is the expectation/culture of needing a thick skin to deal with it .
It’s a variant of the same ‘trait’ required to be on the forums where one wrong sentence can land you in a storm, a kik group where a thoughtless comment can land you in a soup , or a single male profile where you re likely to experience numerous rejections purely because of ratios.
It’s a tough environment . And it can feel far from fun on some days .
I think it’s important to emphasise that I am not likening abusive comments to not getting replies . I am merely pointing out that I personally have learnt to not get too annoyed by stuff on here . Mr or Mrs anonymous in county whatever do not have the authority or the power to shape my day "
Definitely hasn't affected my day and for the most part I enjoy fab and enjoy my interactions on the forums and in messages. And thankfully it's a minority of twats that act like this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Here is the thing....
Fab has from what I can see a really poor history of controlling abusive and trolling behaviour.
You get banned for calling it out, for copy and pasting it, you can be banned for telling someone on the forum you found where they took their fake pics from. Etc.. .
Yet serial offenders of abusive behaviour and picture stealing and so on can continue to use the site and return again and agian....
Threads like this do nothing as its the people who call out the behaviour get the punishment.
Would a mass petition or withholding of site supporter fees or full boycott until stricter measure and actions were implemented work? Would people be bothered to do it?"
Great idea. I've been on the wrong side of this recently for calling someone out. And you can't even reply but to an automated faq page. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been rejected, blanked ghosted. Any probably more. I've never even considered a rude message in return. I don't understand why people do. Cant even imagine it helps the sender in anyway of venting even.
Its so understandable why women just delete and block. And as others have said "nothing is about to change soon" maybe thats whats gonna have to happen just block every rejectee.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thankfully we don't get any abusive messages, but what we do get occasionally are incredibly pushy and persistent messages and when a polite no thanks or no reply works then it's the block button |
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By *j1981Man
over a year ago
cork |
"Thankfully we don't get any abusive messages, but what we do get occasionally are incredibly pushy and persistent messages and when a polite no thanks or no reply works then it's the block button "
Have just liked your pics..
I wouldnt message more than once.... wait for reply.... and take hint if dont hear....
Maybe chat more to u soon.... |
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By *indenMan
over a year ago
Naas which is South West of Dublin |
"I reported plenty but nothing was ever done so don't anymore. "
Why?
Why has nothing been done?
Any person/organisation/club or website why has stated in their terms....
9. Acceptable use of our Service
You agree that you will not in connection with the Service:
a) engage in any activity that breaks the law
b) publish or send any Content (including links or references to other content), or otherwise behave in a manner, which:
* is unlawful (including depicting or suggesting unlawful acts), defamatory, threatening, harassing, invasive of privacy, racist, hateful, discriminatory, misleading, abusive or deceptive......
But then doesn't do anything about abusive messages or profiles when reported is allowing/tolerating/facilitating this abuse......
Anyone who thinks there is no connection between allowing or tolerating this sort of thing online, and how this sort of behaviour transfers to the outside world needs to have a rethink.
How many people have reported messages or profiles and seen any action taken?
I'm genuinely interested in an answer.
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By *he MickMan
over a year ago
southside |
Personally I just block them .
Never nice to be insulted but we should be aware if goes both ways . Women have gotten very scorpy with me when advances have been rebuffed after a meet , very scorpy Indeed .
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"I reported plenty but nothing was ever done so don't anymore.
Why?
Why has nothing been done?
Any person/organisation/club or website why has stated in their terms....
9. Acceptable use of our Service
You agree that you will not in connection with the Service:
a) engage in any activity that breaks the law
b) publish or send any Content (including links or references to other content), or otherwise behave in a manner, which:
* is unlawful (including depicting or suggesting unlawful acts), defamatory, threatening, harassing, invasive of privacy, racist, hateful, discriminatory, misleading, abusive or deceptive......
But then doesn't do anything about abusive messages or profiles when reported is allowing/tolerating/facilitating this abuse......
Anyone who thinks there is no connection between allowing or tolerating this sort of thing online, and how this sort of behaviour transfers to the outside world needs to have a rethink.
How many people have reported messages or profiles and seen any action taken?
I'm genuinely interested in an answer.
"
I have to be honest. When I've reported a profile, I've then blocked it and moved on with my life so I rarely notice if they are still around. I have limited expectation of the site taking action but I'll report the behaviour all the same. Idk if I'll be one voice alone or be one of many voices - I would really hope patterns of multiple reports get picked up on. |
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I've had more time for gardening over the last couple of years when calling out unacceptable behaviour so I've decided it's not worth it when no one else seems to notice and continue to feed the subtle trolls and blow smoke up their backsides.
I'm all for challenging behaviour and bad attitudes but not when I'm pissing in the wind. |
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
"We've been lucky in that we have never had abuse following a rejection. But we do find that we get repeat 'copy and paste' messages from guys so we have only recently started to use the note function and block button.
To be fair to the guys we've come across, the only major hassle we have had was from another couple."
I just wonder because its a couple they are msiling are they afraid to behave because there is anither male reading the mail also ???
Or do coues get a lot of abusive mail |
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By *ateniteCouple
over a year ago
Youghal |
"We've been lucky in that we have never had abuse following a rejection. But we do find that we get repeat 'copy and paste' messages from guys so we have only recently started to use the note function and block button.
To be fair to the guys we've come across, the only major hassle we have had was from another couple.
I just wonder because its a couple they are msiling are they afraid to behave because there is anither male reading the mail also ???
Or do coues get a lot of abusive mail"
Yes it's more than likely that is the case. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Seems strange that people can be abusive on this platform with no consequences but if you mention an alternative website to fab you get blocked from sending messages for 24 hours. Abusive behaviour should not be tolerated by anyone |
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"Its not nice for anyone but getting abusive on messages shouldn't be allowed. Now I know I'll probably get a slap for this but replied politely to a guy that wasn't interested and the best he could come up with as call me a stupid fat bitch.
So I'm calling out guys and gals on this, rejection isn't nice for anyone bit we all have our preferences if I'm rejected by a guy and I have been plenty of times, I just say thanks , no bother and move on, it would NEVER EVER cross my mind to get nasty.
Another thread asks what we can do about behaviour of people, we'll here's what I'm doing. I'm calling out this nasty behaviour. "
Better just to cut the conversation as soon as you say you're not interested, report to admin if you get a nasty reply, they can't acknowledge personally to everyone, but at least its reported, block and move on.
I can honestly say with my hand on my heart that in all my years here I have never had a nasty reply to a "Thank you, but no thank you", naybe I'm just one of the lucky ones but I certainly would not be nasty or bitchy to anyone be it in a pm or publicly on the forums. Its a waste of my time and energy. Tight filters! If it's that bad then simply walk away.
Silence can impact more than a roar  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Its not nice for anyone but getting abusive on messages shouldn't be allowed. Now I know I'll probably get a slap for this but replied politely to a guy that wasn't interested and the best he could come up with as call me a stupid fat bitch.
So I'm calling out guys and gals on this, rejection isn't nice for anyone bit we all have our preferences if I'm rejected by a guy and I have been plenty of times, I just say thanks , no bother and move on, it would NEVER EVER cross my mind to get nasty.
Another thread asks what we can do about behaviour of people, we'll here's what I'm doing. I'm calling out this nasty behaviour.
Better just to cut the conversation as soon as you say you're not interested, report to admin if you get a nasty reply, they can't acknowledge personally to everyone, but at least its reported, block and move on.
I can honestly say with my hand on my heart that in all my years here I have never had a nasty reply to a "Thank you, but no thank you", naybe I'm just one of the lucky ones but I certainly would not be nasty or bitchy to anyone be it in a pm or publicly on the forums. Its a waste of my time and energy. Tight filters! If it's that bad then simply walk away.
Silence can impact more than a roar "
Filters cant be any tighter other than not accepting messages, the conversation was perfectly fine until I replied I wasn't interested.Reported and blocked. |
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"Its not nice for anyone but getting abusive on messages shouldn't be allowed. Now I know I'll probably get a slap for this but replied politely to a guy that wasn't interested and the best he could come up with as call me a stupid fat bitch.
So I'm calling out guys and gals on this, rejection isn't nice for anyone bit we all have our preferences if I'm rejected by a guy and I have been plenty of times, I just say thanks , no bother and move on, it would NEVER EVER cross my mind to get nasty.
Another thread asks what we can do about behaviour of people, we'll here's what I'm doing. I'm calling out this nasty behaviour.
Better just to cut the conversation as soon as you say you're not interested, report to admin if you get a nasty reply, they can't acknowledge personally to everyone, but at least its reported, block and move on.
I can honestly say with my hand on my heart that in all my years here I have never had a nasty reply to a "Thank you, but no thank you", naybe I'm just one of the lucky ones but I certainly would not be nasty or bitchy to anyone be it in a pm or publicly on the forums. Its a waste of my time and energy. Tight filters! If it's that bad then simply walk away.
Silence can impact more than a roar
Filters cant be any tighter other than not accepting messages, the conversation was perfectly fine until I replied I wasn't interested.Reported and blocked. "
Then you have done what was needed, just sing that little song in your head "Thank U, Next" |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Its not nice for anyone but getting abusive on messages shouldn't be allowed. Now I know I'll probably get a slap for this but replied politely to a guy that wasn't interested and the best he could come up with as call me a stupid fat bitch.
So I'm calling out guys and gals on this, rejection isn't nice for anyone bit we all have our preferences if I'm rejected by a guy and I have been plenty of times, I just say thanks , no bother and move on, it would NEVER EVER cross my mind to get nasty.
Another thread asks what we can do about behaviour of people, we'll here's what I'm doing. I'm calling out this nasty behaviour.
Better just to cut the conversation as soon as you say you're not interested, report to admin if you get a nasty reply, they can't acknowledge personally to everyone, but at least its reported, block and move on.
I can honestly say with my hand on my heart that in all my years here I have never had a nasty reply to a "Thank you, but no thank you", naybe I'm just one of the lucky ones but I certainly would not be nasty or bitchy to anyone be it in a pm or publicly on the forums. Its a waste of my time and energy. Tight filters! If it's that bad then simply walk away.
Silence can impact more than a roar
Filters cant be any tighter other than not accepting messages, the conversation was perfectly fine until I replied I wasn't interested.Reported and blocked.
Then you have done what was needed, just sing that little song in your head "Thank U, Next" "
Oh it was said straight away |
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Any form of abuse is not acceptable!
I was abused by a woman on this site recently because I’ve stated I’m married and require discretion!
We should keep opinions to ourselves.
Block and report those who think they can say what they like. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Any form of abuse is not acceptable!
I was abused by a woman on this site recently because I’ve stated I’m married and require discretion!
We should keep opinions to ourselves.
Block and report those who think they can say what they like."
You clearly state on your profile that your married, noones business why you on here and noone has the right to.judge |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
"I rejected someone the other day, their reply was “die of cancer, cunt”.
Proportionate and fair response from a well-adjusted individual. "
Please report them
I think the mods can look at private messages to see this stuff
I wish a mod would come on one of the threads today
Ireland is having a discussion and it would be good if the admin of the site did the same |
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By *ezoMan
over a year ago
The Kingdom |
"Its not nice for anyone but getting abusive on messages shouldn't be allowed. Now I know I'll probably get a slap for this but replied politely to a guy that wasn't interested and the best he could come up with as call me a stupid fat bitch.
So I'm calling out guys and gals on this, rejection isn't nice for anyone bit we all have our preferences if I'm rejected by a guy and I have been plenty of times, I just say thanks , no bother and move on, it would NEVER EVER cross my mind to get nasty.
Another thread asks what we can do about behaviour of people, we'll here's what I'm doing. I'm calling out this nasty behaviour. "
Yeah Let Admins know.
I mean we are all adults, children who throw tantrums should not be on this site. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I rejected someone the other day, their reply was “die of cancer, cunt”.
Proportionate and fair response from a well-adjusted individual.
Please report them
I think the mods can look at private messages to see this stuff
I wish a mod would come on one of the threads today
Ireland is having a discussion and it would be good if the admin of the site did the same "
I tried but they had blocked me first. I’m exhausted with fab after why I’ve seen the last few days. Time for a sos beag I think. |
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"I rejected someone the other day, their reply was “die of cancer, cunt”.
Proportionate and fair response from a well-adjusted individual.
Please report them
I think the mods can look at private messages to see this stuff
I wish a mod would come on one of the threads today
Ireland is having a discussion and it would be good if the admin of the site did the same
I tried but they had blocked me first. I’m exhausted with fab after why I’ve seen the last few days. Time for a sos beag I think. "
You can still report them & block them when they've blocked you. They're in the menu on the right side of the screen on mobile. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I rejected someone the other day, their reply was “die of cancer, cunt”.
Proportionate and fair response from a well-adjusted individual. "
I'm sorry that you were on the receiving end of abuse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If I receive a nice message from a guy (who actually read my bio and attached photos), and he is not my type; I will thank him for the message (pics, an effort, etc), and say that he is not my type, will wish him all the best and add a kiss in the end. And they usually take it very good
If they don’t read my bio or send me ”Hi”, I just ignore and delete their message
If they keep messaging me again and again, I just block them
I don’t get too many nasty messages after rejecting guys, but some of them just send nasty messages about my preferences - I just block them straight away.
Honestly, you need to have a very thick skin to deal with this type of people, don’t take anything personally, just block them and move on
 |
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By *I TwoCouple
over a year ago
PDI 12-26th Nov 24 |
If we get a message and aren't interested usually we will send a polite reply and most of the time we will block as well.
Not necessarily because the person has been rude or otherwise but we read the message, probably looked at their profile and decided it's a no and won't be revisiting their profile.
Saves any embarrassment to either side. |
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By *indenMan
over a year ago
Naas which is South West of Dublin |
"I rejected someone the other day, their reply was “die of cancer, cunt”.
Proportionate and fair response from a well-adjusted individual. "
If the profile that sent that message isn’t banned from the site after that then there’s something very very wrong here.
Perhaps a mod might be able to explain what the procedure is with regards to how this is dealt with so that we can understand and appreciate the entire situation a little better? |
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Just hit that block button and report him. If enough do it, he'll be put off the site or change his attitude. It's just immaturity when they get that way. Like a child having a tantrum for not getting their way. If he really meant what he said, then why was he interested in the first place? |
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"I rejected someone the other day, their reply was “die of cancer, cunt”.
Proportionate and fair response from a well-adjusted individual.
Please report them
I think the mods can look at private messages to see this stuff
I wish a mod would come on one of the threads today
Ireland is having a discussion and it would be good if the admin of the site did the same
I tried but they had blocked me first. I’m exhausted with fab after why I’ve seen the last few days. Time for a sos beag I think. "
Most people think they can’t block some who block them because if they look for their profile they can’t find them.
If you still have their profile name in your messages, click on their name.
Or alternatively if you know someone they verified, go to the veris of that person, find the name of the person you want to block and click on it.
It will tell you you can’t see their profile probable cos you’re blocked, but you can still go to MENU on the top right hand side and click on it and there you’ll have the option to block them too.
When they block you, they can still unblock you temporarily and look at your profile, pics and send you messages.
But if you block them back, they can’t.
Best of luck xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I rejected someone the other day, their reply was “die of cancer, cunt”.
Proportionate and fair response from a well-adjusted individual.
Please report them
I think the mods can look at private messages to see this stuff
I wish a mod would come on one of the threads today
Ireland is having a discussion and it would be good if the admin of the site did the same
I tried but they had blocked me first. I’m exhausted with fab after why I’ve seen the last few days. Time for a sos beag I think.
Most people think they can’t block some who block them because if they look for their profile they can’t find them.
If you still have their profile name in your messages, click on their name.
Or alternatively if you know someone they verified, go to the veris of that person, find the name of the person you want to block and click on it.
It will tell you you can’t see their profile probable cos you’re blocked, but you can still go to MENU on the top right hand side and click on it and there you’ll have the option to block them too.
When they block you, they can still unblock you temporarily and look at your profile, pics and send you messages.
But if you block them back, they can’t.
Best of luck xx"
Thank you so much, I never knew/realised this until today. Found him in my sent messages so will keep an eye and see what happens. |
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"Rejection in any form is not acceptable for a man or woman be it on this site or anywhere
Happy fabbing Ms.Devine"
Of course rejection is acceptable. It's part and parcel of everyday life. We all reject things that don't appeal to us or people that we aren't compatible with.
It's how that rejection is communicated and received that is important though. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Rejection in any form is not acceptable for a man or woman be it on this site or anywhere
Happy fabbing Ms.Devine
Of course rejection is acceptable. It's part and parcel of everyday life. We all reject things that don't appeal to us or people that we aren't compatible with.
It's how that rejection is communicated and received that is important though. "
100, rejection is part of all. We can't be what everyone likes and wants which us completely okay its the reaction to that rejection. |
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By *NawtyCplCouple
over a year ago
Around and about |
Aw chick sorry to hear you were on the receiving end of some doses shit. Swing is made up of people from every walk of life, if you come across dicks in civvie life, your gonna come across them here too. You cant fix stupid!! Head high and breeze on by xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Sorry to hear it,nobody deserves that kind of abuse,block and report him,we all have preferences in life,some ppl don't act with maturity when they don't get what they want...I got blocked by someone on this for not replying fast enough lol |
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"I rejected someone the other day, their reply was “die of cancer, cunt”.
Proportionate and fair response from a well-adjusted individual.
Please report them
I think the mods can look at private messages to see this stuff
I wish a mod would come on one of the threads today
Ireland is having a discussion and it would be good if the admin of the site did the same
I tried but they had blocked me first. I’m exhausted with fab after why I’ve seen the last few days. Time for a sos beag I think.
Most people think they can’t block some who block them because if they look for their profile they can’t find them.
If you still have their profile name in your messages, click on their name.
Or alternatively if you know someone they verified, go to the veris of that person, find the name of the person you want to block and click on it.
It will tell you you can’t see their profile probable cos you’re blocked, but you can still go to MENU on the top right hand side and click on it and there you’ll have the option to block them too.
When they block you, they can still unblock you temporarily and look at your profile, pics and send you messages.
But if you block them back, they can’t.
Best of luck xx
Thank you so much, I never knew/realised this until today. Found him in my sent messages so will keep an eye and see what happens. "
I wonder was this the same delight that I have come across tonight? Absolutely no need for it, especially given the week Ireland has had  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've had a few nasty messages from 'fab straight' guys. I just laugh, block and move one.
As far as rejections go. I'm really fussy about who I chat to privately so I haven't had any rejections yet. But I suppose it's a numbers game. The more you chat to the more chance of rejection and abusive messages.
Putting everything in open forum's is just giving them more attention which is probably what they wanted in the first place.
At the end of the day it's just Fab so my advice would be take it with a pinch of salt, move on and forget about them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Its not nice for anyone but getting abusive on messages shouldn't be allowed. Now I know I'll probably get a slap for this but replied politely to a guy that wasn't interested and the best he could come up with as call me a stupid fat bitch.
So I'm calling out guys and gals on this, rejection isn't nice for anyone bit we all have our preferences if I'm rejected by a guy and I have been plenty of times, I just say thanks , no bother and move on, it would NEVER EVER cross my mind to get nasty.
Another thread asks what we can do about behaviour of people, we'll here's what I'm doing. I'm calling out this nasty behaviour. "
Can't see why you would be rejected but enough of the flirting rejection happens so what but guy or gals should have more cop on at this stage not to get nasty bout it sadly this is the online side where keyboard warriors feel like they can be "tough" & nasty behind a screen move on OP plenty more will want you n try not dwell on the ignorant ones |
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By *euve4usCouple
over a year ago
Teddington |
When we receive an articulate message we provide a polite “rejection” if we are not interested. - Thanks for your message however as per our profile preferences we are not a match and wish you luck
We quite often get a thank you and that’s that - those who challenge our polite rejection get blocked. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Its not nice for anyone but getting abusive on messages shouldn't be allowed. Now I know I'll probably get a slap for this but replied politely to a guy that wasn't interested and the best he could come up with as call me a stupid fat bitch.
So I'm calling out guys and gals on this, rejection isn't nice for anyone bit we all have our preferences if I'm rejected by a guy and I have been plenty of times, I just say thanks , no bother and move on, it would NEVER EVER cross my mind to get nasty.
Another thread asks what we can do about behaviour of people, we'll here's what I'm doing. I'm calling out this nasty behaviour.
Can't see why you would be rejected but enough of the flirting rejection happens so what but guy or gals should have more cop on at this stage not to get nasty bout it sadly this is the online side where keyboard warriors feel like they can be "tough" & nasty behind a screen move on OP plenty more will want you n try not dwell on the ignorant ones "
Rejection is part of life and have no issue with that but its the behaviour after and the amount of threads that get started about why guys can't get replies, this is why because just because I've been polite doesn't mean the person will be polite back so a lot of women don't bother replying. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Its not nice for anyone but getting abusive on messages shouldn't be allowed. Now I know I'll probably get a slap for this but replied politely to a guy that wasn't interested and the best he could come up with as call me a stupid fat bitch.
So I'm calling out guys and gals on this, rejection isn't nice for anyone bit we all have our preferences if I'm rejected by a guy and I have been plenty of times, I just say thanks , no bother and move on, it would NEVER EVER cross my mind to get nasty.
Another thread asks what we can do about behaviour of people, we'll here's what I'm doing. I'm calling out this nasty behaviour. "
On the other hand I had a lady acuse me of not taking rejection and I hadnt even asked her for a meet. When I said I was only being friendly to a fellow faber she got even worse. So I used the block button end of problem. There are some men and women on here with problems when it comes to being friendly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Its not nice for anyone but getting abusive on messages shouldn't be allowed. Now I know I'll probably get a slap for this but replied politely to a guy that wasn't interested and the best he could come up with as call me a stupid fat bitch.
So I'm calling out guys and gals on this, rejection isn't nice for anyone bit we all have our preferences if I'm rejected by a guy and I have been plenty of times, I just say thanks , no bother and move on, it would NEVER EVER cross my mind to get nasty.
Another thread asks what we can do about behaviour of people, we'll here's what I'm doing. I'm calling out this nasty behaviour. "
Well I was called a “peaky c”nt” a few times , and a “stupid bitch” (just because I decided to reply instead of ignoring the message lol). Just ignore them. I don’t even block them, unless they will repeatedly message me. Forget and move on xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Its not nice for anyone but getting abusive on messages shouldn't be allowed. Now I know I'll probably get a slap for this but replied politely to a guy that wasn't interested and the best he could come up with as call me a stupid fat bitch.
So I'm calling out guys and gals on this, rejection isn't nice for anyone bit we all have our preferences if I'm rejected by a guy and I have been plenty of times, I just say thanks , no bother and move on, it would NEVER EVER cross my mind to get nasty.
Another thread asks what we can do about behaviour of people, we'll here's what I'm doing. I'm calling out this nasty behaviour.
Well I was called a “peaky c”nt” a few times , and a “stupid bitch” (just because I decided to reply instead of ignoring the message lol). Just ignore them. I don’t even block them, unless they will repeatedly message me. Forget and move on xx"
Thanks my solution is just not meeting its easier and less hassle lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Except disappoinent you never get disappoinent...it happens all the time...
I agree. The glass is half full.
Of piss."
no always empty, never get anything back,so how could a glass be half full, .. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Except disappoinent you never get disappoinent...it happens all the time...
I agree. The glass is half full.
Of piss.no always empty, never get anything back,so how could a glass be half full, .."
Expect the worst and you might be pleasantly surprised is what I'm saying lol |
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By *ultiOMan
over a year ago
Galway |
Damn reading through some of this is depressing!
Personally I would appreciate hearing back and knowing why I got rejected, so as to give me a chance to work on flaws (or know that there were simply differences and move on), but I always go out of my way to thank the person for responding and letting me know whats up.
I understand why you wouldn't message back with experiences like what I've read about here though, damn. Report for sure, noone needs that BS in their life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Except disappoinent you never get disappoinent...it happens all the time...
I agree. The glass is half full.
Of piss.no always empty, never get anything back,so how could a glass be half full, ..
Expect the worst and you might be pleasantly surprised is what I'm saying lol"
Not really..let put this way,
1you know a person on fab pass you by and block you.
2 you chatting with a person miss a few days chatting with them,try to reconnect, sorry I have lost interest in you get block
3you chatting with a person getting on well thay ask for a face photo you sending,it,don't get one in reply, but set sale in to sunset.
4 unread read with no reply or deleted....thay hurt really hurt... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Except disappoinent you never get disappoinent...it happens all the time...
I agree. The glass is half full.
Of piss.no always empty, never get anything back,so how could a glass be half full, ..
Expect the worst and you might be pleasantly surprised is what I'm saying lolNot really..let put this way,
1you know a person on fab pass you by and block you.
2 you chatting with a person miss a few days chatting with them,try to reconnect, sorry I have lost interest in you get block
3you chatting with a person getting on well thay ask for a face photo you sending,it,don't get one in reply, but set sale in to sunset.
4 unread read with no reply or deleted....thay hurt really hurt..."
Don't put too much stock in it. That happens, and tbf, women and couples here are deluged in messages, so they have to be blunt about things. That can come across as rude, but when you see the abuse some people get when they reject someone, it's totally understandable |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Except disappoinent you never get disappoinent...it happens all the time...
I agree. The glass is half full.
Of piss.no always empty, never get anything back,so how could a glass be half full, ..
Expect the worst and you might be pleasantly surprised is what I'm saying lolNot really..let put this way,
1you know a person on fab pass you by and block you.
2 you chatting with a person miss a few days chatting with them,try to reconnect, sorry I have lost interest in you get block
3you chatting with a person getting on well thay ask for a face photo you sending,it,don't get one in reply, but set sale in to sunset.
4 unread read with no reply or deleted....thay hurt really hurt...
Don't put too much stock in it. That happens, and tbf, women and couples here are deluged in messages, so they have to be blunt about things. That can come across as rude, but when you see the abuse some people get when they reject someone, it's totally understandable "
OK nothing to abuse, have not overstepped the line with anyone, but if you keep getting registered it hurts, if you do nothing wrong that hurts,... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Except disappoinent you never get disappoinent...it happens all the time...
I agree. The glass is half full.
Of piss.no always empty, never get anything back,so how could a glass be half full, ..
Expect the worst and you might be pleasantly surprised is what I'm saying lolNot really..let put this way,
1you know a person on fab pass you by and block you.
2 you chatting with a person miss a few days chatting with them,try to reconnect, sorry I have lost interest in you get block
3you chatting with a person getting on well thay ask for a face photo you sending,it,don't get one in reply, but set sale in to sunset.
4 unread read with no reply or deleted....thay hurt really hurt..."
And so on a lot of us get rejected in life and on here and it sucks but don't always get a reason or told why. People have replied no thanks to messages and get torrid abuse, people take a chance and send pics and get no reply or blocked its part of fab.
I have come to the conclusion on here I'm not for everybody and that's OK I'd sooner be honest and treated honestly and with respect. I've been ghosted , stood up, abused, lied to and played on here but I have also made some wonderful friends, had some great nights out and made memories and as I've said before if I never meet anyone for sex on here again that's OK. I'm just enjoying the distraction |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Its not nice for anyone but getting abusive on messages shouldn't be allowed. Now I know I'll probably get a slap for this but replied politely to a guy that wasn't interested and the best he could come up with as call me a stupid fat bitch.
So I'm calling out guys and gals on this, rejection isn't nice for anyone bit we all have our preferences if I'm rejected by a guy and I have been plenty of times, I just say thanks , no bother and move on, it would NEVER EVER cross my mind to get nasty.
Another thread asks what we can do about behaviour of people, we'll here's what I'm doing. I'm calling out this nasty behaviour. "
It's all about type , some suit others don't , why people get nasty l have no idea but everyone should be able to log on and enjoy themselves here and not face an abusive message , it may be the site it is but there's no need to get nasty ..no reason at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Its not nice for anyone but getting abusive on messages shouldn't be allowed. Now I know I'll probably get a slap for this but replied politely to a guy that wasn't interested and the best he could come up with as call me a stupid fat bitch.
So I'm calling out guys and gals on this, rejection isn't nice for anyone bit we all have our preferences if I'm rejected by a guy and I have been plenty of times, I just say thanks , no bother and move on, it would NEVER EVER cross my mind to get nasty.
Another thread asks what we can do about behaviour of people, we'll here's what I'm doing. I'm calling out this nasty behaviour. "
No one have right to be abusive with anyone....being abusive cant be justified in any way.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Personally, I don’t reply unless I’m interested. If you send me an unsolicited message, I’m not required to “be polite” and reply.
If they continue to message, I’ll block them"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"There are a few different scenerios I find happen....
1. A guy messages, you politely decline. He says thanks and goes on his way.
2. A guy messages, you politely decline, they keep doing ping pong messages that ah sure cmon, you'll love it, I'm a nice guy, I really like you etc etc...can't take rejection and think they can convince you to meet. Hence women give up declining and just ghost...
3. A guy messages, you politely decline, he gets abusive and insulting, calling us fat bitches and sluts etc because they are messaging any woman on fab as they think it's dial a ride and God forbid, no woman will turn them down as we are all desperate.
It's a minefield ....
The chance we take everytime we answer a message, maybe if an abusive message is reported the person gets a time out from messaging"
Emotional awareness comes in to plan, In each one of your scenarios you replied initially well done you,
Others on here like the lady from Galway seem to think initial unsolicited messages are junk mail ,and how dare someone contact me randomly lol that's someone with an ego patting themselves on the back because they have found someone who doesn't have their perceived moral standards
It's very very important we understand the difference between judgement and judgemental |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Its not nice for anyone but getting abusive on messages shouldn't be allowed. Now I know I'll probably get a slap for this but replied politely to a guy that wasn't interested and the best he could come up with as call me a stupid fat bitch.
So I'm calling out guys and gals on this, rejection isn't nice for anyone bit we all have our preferences if I'm rejected by a guy and I have been plenty of times, I just say thanks , no bother and move on, it would NEVER EVER cross my mind to get nasty.
Another thread asks what we can do about behaviour of people, we'll here's what I'm doing. I'm calling out this nasty behaviour. "
Yes. When I call out single guys ignoring my partner they get nasty and call me names.
Like clearly I won't be nice about it and say of course I will meet and do all them weird things with you even when disrespectful.
Miss_tattoo |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Look on a bad reaction as a good call on your part in the first place.  "
I politely thank them for confirming my trusty gut instinct still works before hitting the block |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It wouldn’t even cross my mind to get nasty if rejected. Not in my nature. Rejection isn’t nice in any form of life. But you just need to be a bit thick skinned and move on. Plenty more fish in the sea as they say. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yesterday i was called a fat slut whos most likely riddled with aids after i politely declined to meet a guy. Its fucking disgusting behaviour. "
You were lucky , you said no and that guy showed his true colours . |
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"Yesterday i was called a fat slut whos most likely riddled with aids after i politely declined to meet a guy. Its fucking disgusting behaviour. "
I got begged to leave the site as I'm "click bait" ( that gave me a giggle) and after I blocked him he continued his tantrum on my couples account  |
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By *ezoMan
over a year ago
The Kingdom |
"If people only respect each other and be kind life is to short "
We would achieve world peace then.
It is a crying shame that there are people who never grow up mentally and lash at others when they don't get what they want. |
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"It should be a strictly enforced rule of membership
Any abuse and you lose membership
We all gown ups
If someone decline your advance,
Acce it graciously "
Who would decide what is classed as abuse? |
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I think some people (mostly us guys tbf) take it as a personal sleight.
