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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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My Girlfriend is leaving me due to my obsession with police interview techniques..
And for the benefit of the tape she is leaving the room at 22.30 pm. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"That's it!" she stormed, "I can't compete with you and your 80's rock music. I'm leaving you. I've met someone new."
"No! Who is it?!" I shouted.
"He's called Tommy and he's not in the least bit obsessed with Bon Jovi!"
"Tommy?" I said, "Didnt He work on the docks??." |
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By *ettaManMan
over a year ago
Kerry and Dublin |
Lying in bed with my girlfriend, she asked me what my favourite part of her body was.
Thinking there was no answer to this question that wouldn't lead to me having to reassure her that I loved every inch of here, an answer popped into my head.
'Your mind', I said.
She breaks down, sobbing uncontrollably, saying I don't love her and I don't understand her.
Turns out she's a bloody Cartesian Dualist! |
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My wife and I were daydreaming about what we would do if we won the lottery. She started: “I’d hire a cook so that I could just say, ‘Hey, make me a sandwich!’” I shock my head. “Not me. I already have one of those.” |
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Thanks you guys, great way to start the day 
So I took her at her word one Friday evening
And had a great night's criac at the races in Dundalk. 
