FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Online connection
Online connection
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By *asual777 OP Man
over a year ago
i travel all over |
Have you ever had an electric chemistry with someone online then not felt the same upon meeting them ? Or the opposite , where it translated into a phenomenal meet ?
A 3rd scenario , one I like and I have maybe 3-4 people in that category , Is that connection that hasn’t become a meet yet . The one where you wondering just what it ll be like . Really makes fab for me ... |
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By *ol_ieMan
over a year ago
Dublin west |
Have had the ones that are great online but you can't drag a word out of them face to face. It's horrible.
But every now and then you meet someone that is even better in real life than what you imagine them to be.
Those are the special first meets.
That's why I like to get a social face to face in early as you learn so much more in a couple of mins face to face than weeks of online. |
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By *issme39Woman
over a year ago
kildare |
yes and it's absolutely crushing lol
the banter / chemistry online is off the scale and then you meet them and nada/ nothing 
oh the flip side of what you said I've had some amazing meets also ! recently I was called a '14 out of 10' after a meet...im soooo not ( id be happy with a 6) but it was awesome to hear |
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By *asual777 OP Man
over a year ago
i travel all over |
"yes and it's absolutely crushing lol
the banter / chemistry online is off the scale and then you meet them and nada/ nothing
oh the flip side of what you said I've had some amazing meets also ! recently I was called a '14 out of 10' after a meet...im soooo not ( id be happy with a 6) but it was awesome to hear "
There are a couple of people I am literally aching to meet after all the online banter but the distance is just keeping things simmering online |
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By *issme39Woman
over a year ago
kildare |
"yes and it's absolutely crushing lol
the banter / chemistry online is off the scale and then you meet them and nada/ nothing
oh the flip side of what you said I've had some amazing meets also ! recently I was called a '14 out of 10' after a meet...im soooo not ( id be happy with a 6) but it was awesome to hear
There are a couple of people I am literally aching to meet after all the online banter but the distance is just keeping things simmering online "
im the same as you however I'm trying to move out side my comfort zone! we are on the same island is what I'm telling myself lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I definitely need to meet to see if there's a connection. Have been quite surprised with one or two when meeting in person and been a few when met in person just no spark at all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I never assume there will be any kind of spark. The only person I've ever met with whom the initial online spark translated to a real connection, we're still together. My experience is that a lot of men are so nervous in person at a social meet that they either have almost nothing to say, or talk incessantly about themselves |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mental connection is so important for me ..the physical act of sex is beautiful but throw in the same mental connection into the mix...UNREAL !!! It takes things to a different level altogether...well l think so anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unfortunately yes, not from my side though but I just know it was for them 
As said before shyness can play a part but on this occasion I just got into my head and I could have communicated things better from my end beforehand!
Once, having chatted for years pretty much, what I had in my head was a social meet, a sit down somewhere with a cuppa, turned into going straight back to their hotel. Whilst that may seem like a dream scenario, that the chemistry was there, it was genuinely unexpected and my anxiety kicked up an immediate fuss.
Knowing that they don't get a lot of free time, I know I definitely wasted it for them and I've felt terrible about it ever since
You don't get a second chance at a first impression as they say sure! |
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By *asual777 OP Man
over a year ago
i travel all over |
"Unfortunately yes, not from my side though but I just know it was for them
As said before shyness can play a part but on this occasion I just got into my head and I could have communicated things better from my end beforehand!
Once, having chatted for years pretty much, what I had in my head was a social meet, a sit down somewhere with a cuppa, turned into going straight back to their hotel. Whilst that may seem like a dream scenario, that the chemistry was there, it was genuinely unexpected and my anxiety kicked up an immediate fuss.
Knowing that they don't get a lot of free time, I know I definitely wasted it for them and I've felt terrible about it ever since
You don't get a second chance at a first impression as they say sure! "
I like it to make it clear even before the meet if I can stay for longer than coffee. If I can’t I say things like I can’t go to the pub afterwards because of say soccer or whatever (sounds better than can’t stay for sex , and reasons are genuine ). Being rushed to the hotel might ruin sex but what will definitely ruin it is clock watching |
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By *yesgreenMan
over a year ago
north and south |
"Unfortunately yes, not from my side though but I just know it was for them
As said before shyness can play a part but on this occasion I just got into my head and I could have communicated things better from my end beforehand!
Once, having chatted for years pretty much, what I had in my head was a social meet, a sit down somewhere with a cuppa, turned into going straight back to their hotel. Whilst that may seem like a dream scenario, that the chemistry was there, it was genuinely unexpected and my anxiety kicked up an immediate fuss.
Knowing that they don't get a lot of free time, I know I definitely wasted it for them and I've felt terrible about it ever since
You don't get a second chance at a first impression as they say sure!
I like it to make it clear even before the meet if I can stay for longer than coffee. If I can’t I say things like I can’t go to the pub afterwards because of say soccer or whatever (sounds better than can’t stay for sex , and reasons are genuine ). Being rushed to the hotel might ruin sex but what will definitely ruin it is clock watching "
This is why we should sometimes put looks aside and enjoy the package, As the Quality of the person is inside and could be phenomenal meet ? And most people on fab According to There verifications only meet once  |
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By *asual777 OP Man
over a year ago
i travel all over |
"Unfortunately yes, not from my side though but I just know it was for them
As said before shyness can play a part but on this occasion I just got into my head and I could have communicated things better from my end beforehand!
Once, having chatted for years pretty much, what I had in my head was a social meet, a sit down somewhere with a cuppa, turned into going straight back to their hotel. Whilst that may seem like a dream scenario, that the chemistry was there, it was genuinely unexpected and my anxiety kicked up an immediate fuss.
Knowing that they don't get a lot of free time, I know I definitely wasted it for them and I've felt terrible about it ever since
You don't get a second chance at a first impression as they say sure!
I like it to make it clear even before the meet if I can stay for longer than coffee. If I can’t I say things like I can’t go to the pub afterwards because of say soccer or whatever (sounds better than can’t stay for sex , and reasons are genuine ). Being rushed to the hotel might ruin sex but what will definitely ruin it is clock watching This is why we should sometimes put looks aside and enjoy the package, As the Quality of the person is inside and could be phenomenal meet ? And most people on fab According to There verifications only meet once "
I think repeat veris are frowned upon somewhat ? If I do a second i state why . Some of mine I have been meeting for a couple of years if not longer |
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By *eijaWoman
over a year ago
City Centre |
"Mental connection is so important for me ..the physical act of sex is beautiful but throw in the same mental connection into the mix...UNREAL !!! It takes things to a different level altogether...well l think so anyway."
Totally agree and it's so important for us...stimulate our minds and you will most definitely stimulate everything else   |
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By *issme39Woman
over a year ago
kildare |
"Mental connection is so important for me ..the physical act of sex is beautiful but throw in the same mental connection into the mix...UNREAL !!! It takes things to a different level altogether...well l think so anyway.
Totally agree and it's so important for us...stimulate our minds and you will most definitely stimulate everything else "
yessssss  |
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By *issme39Woman
over a year ago
kildare |
"I meant to type ' friend ' but fiend also works lol
Is there a pattern emerging here with your spelling mistakes? "
ok...a few things will clear this up..
I am and enjoy fiends so my phone is clever and knows what to say before I do at times, then I've the longest nails that cause lots of typos to finally my fingers can't keep up with how fast and much I talk and text lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Unfortunately yes, not from my side though but I just know it was for them
As said before shyness can play a part but on this occasion I just got into my head and I could have communicated things better from my end beforehand!
Once, having chatted for years pretty much, what I had in my head was a social meet, a sit down somewhere with a cuppa, turned into going straight back to their hotel. Whilst that may seem like a dream scenario, that the chemistry was there, it was genuinely unexpected and my anxiety kicked up an immediate fuss.
Knowing that they don't get a lot of free time, I know I definitely wasted it for them and I've felt terrible about it ever since
You don't get a second chance at a first impression as they say sure!
I like it to make it clear even before the meet if I can stay for longer than coffee. If I can’t I say things like I can’t go to the pub afterwards because of say soccer or whatever (sounds better than can’t stay for sex , and reasons are genuine ). Being rushed to the hotel might ruin sex but what will definitely ruin it is clock watching This is why we should sometimes put looks aside and enjoy the package, As the Quality of the person is inside and could be phenomenal meet ? And most people on fab According to There verifications only meet once "
Why would you need to verify them more than once? Other than lamppost pissing or catching up after a long period of time |
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By *yesgreenMan
over a year ago
north and south |
"Unfortunately yes, not from my side though but I just know it was for them
As said before shyness can play a part but on this occasion I just got into my head and I could have communicated things better from my end beforehand!
Once, having chatted for years pretty much, what I had in my head was a social meet, a sit down somewhere with a cuppa, turned into going straight back to their hotel. Whilst that may seem like a dream scenario, that the chemistry was there, it was genuinely unexpected and my anxiety kicked up an immediate fuss.
Knowing that they don't get a lot of free time, I know I definitely wasted it for them and I've felt terrible about it ever since
You don't get a second chance at a first impression as they say sure!
I like it to make it clear even before the meet if I can stay for longer than coffee. If I can’t I say things like I can’t go to the pub afterwards because of say soccer or whatever (sounds better than can’t stay for sex , and reasons are genuine ). Being rushed to the hotel might ruin sex but what will definitely ruin it is clock watching This is why we should sometimes put looks aside and enjoy the package, As the Quality of the person is inside and could be phenomenal meet ? And most people on fab According to There verifications only meet once
Why would you need to verify them more than once? Other than lamppost pissing or catching up after a long period of time"
Am only saying not judging anyone on here just my thoughts only |
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By *asual777 OP Man
over a year ago
i travel all over |
"Unfortunately yes, not from my side though but I just know it was for them
As said before shyness can play a part but on this occasion I just got into my head and I could have communicated things better from my end beforehand!
Once, having chatted for years pretty much, what I had in my head was a social meet, a sit down somewhere with a cuppa, turned into going straight back to their hotel. Whilst that may seem like a dream scenario, that the chemistry was there, it was genuinely unexpected and my anxiety kicked up an immediate fuss.
Knowing that they don't get a lot of free time, I know I definitely wasted it for them and I've felt terrible about it ever since
You don't get a second chance at a first impression as they say sure!
I like it to make it clear even before the meet if I can stay for longer than coffee. If I can’t I say things like I can’t go to the pub afterwards because of say soccer or whatever (sounds better than can’t stay for sex , and reasons are genuine ). Being rushed to the hotel might ruin sex but what will definitely ruin it is clock watching This is why we should sometimes put looks aside and enjoy the package, As the Quality of the person is inside and could be phenomenal meet ? And most people on fab According to There verifications only meet once
Why would you need to verify them more than once? Other than lamppost pissing or catching up after a long period of time"
I think ok scenarios are
1. 1st social , 2nd meet
2. Some form of ongoing thing: meeting as a couple on a regular basis and declaring this
3. Some form of outstanding characteristic which needs highlighting
At a push
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Unfortunately yes, not from my side though but I just know it was for them
As said before shyness can play a part but on this occasion I just got into my head and I could have communicated things better from my end beforehand!
Once, having chatted for years pretty much, what I had in my head was a social meet, a sit down somewhere with a cuppa, turned into going straight back to their hotel. Whilst that may seem like a dream scenario, that the chemistry was there, it was genuinely unexpected and my anxiety kicked up an immediate fuss.
Knowing that they don't get a lot of free time, I know I definitely wasted it for them and I've felt terrible about it ever since
You don't get a second chance at a first impression as they say sure!
I like it to make it clear even before the meet if I can stay for longer than coffee. If I can’t I say things like I can’t go to the pub afterwards because of say soccer or whatever (sounds better than can’t stay for sex , and reasons are genuine ). Being rushed to the hotel might ruin sex but what will definitely ruin it is clock watching This is why we should sometimes put looks aside and enjoy the package, As the Quality of the person is inside and could be phenomenal meet ? And most people on fab According to There verifications only meet once
Why would you need to verify them more than once? Other than lamppost pissing or catching up after a long period of time
I think ok scenarios are
1. 1st social , 2nd meet
2. Some form of ongoing thing: meeting as a couple on a regular basis and declaring this
3. Some form of outstanding characteristic which needs highlighting
At a push
"
Or you are getting to know the person better and want to say more?
It says a lot about the person that you would meet them again dont you think? A lot of people on here are looking for repeat meets and not once offs, so a second veri shows that the person isnt just out for one off random shags.
|
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By *asual777 OP Man
over a year ago
i travel all over |
"Unfortunately yes, not from my side though but I just know it was for them
As said before shyness can play a part but on this occasion I just got into my head and I could have communicated things better from my end beforehand!
Once, having chatted for years pretty much, what I had in my head was a social meet, a sit down somewhere with a cuppa, turned into going straight back to their hotel. Whilst that may seem like a dream scenario, that the chemistry was there, it was genuinely unexpected and my anxiety kicked up an immediate fuss.
Knowing that they don't get a lot of free time, I know I definitely wasted it for them and I've felt terrible about it ever since
You don't get a second chance at a first impression as they say sure!
I like it to make it clear even before the meet if I can stay for longer than coffee. If I can’t I say things like I can’t go to the pub afterwards because of say soccer or whatever (sounds better than can’t stay for sex , and reasons are genuine ). Being rushed to the hotel might ruin sex but what will definitely ruin it is clock watching This is why we should sometimes put looks aside and enjoy the package, As the Quality of the person is inside and could be phenomenal meet ? And most people on fab According to There verifications only meet once
Why would you need to verify them more than once? Other than lamppost pissing or catching up after a long period of time
I think ok scenarios are
1. 1st social , 2nd meet
2. Some form of ongoing thing: meeting as a couple on a regular basis and declaring this
3. Some form of outstanding characteristic which needs highlighting
At a push
Or you are getting to know the person better and want to say more?
It says a lot about the person that you would meet them again dont you think? A lot of people on here are looking for repeat meets and not once offs, so a second veri shows that the person isnt just out for one off random shags.
"
Yes maybe we hold back too much on here with veris. There is no way looking at some profiles , who out of their veris they’ve started a couple profile with unless specifically mentioned in the couple profile . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Unfortunately yes, not from my side though but I just know it was for them
As said before shyness can play a part but on this occasion I just got into my head and I could have communicated things better from my end beforehand!
Once, having chatted for years pretty much, what I had in my head was a social meet, a sit down somewhere with a cuppa, turned into going straight back to their hotel. Whilst that may seem like a dream scenario, that the chemistry was there, it was genuinely unexpected and my anxiety kicked up an immediate fuss.
Knowing that they don't get a lot of free time, I know I definitely wasted it for them and I've felt terrible about it ever since
You don't get a second chance at a first impression as they say sure!
I like it to make it clear even before the meet if I can stay for longer than coffee. If I can’t I say things like I can’t go to the pub afterwards because of say soccer or whatever (sounds better than can’t stay for sex , and reasons are genuine ). Being rushed to the hotel might ruin sex but what will definitely ruin it is clock watching This is why we should sometimes put looks aside and enjoy the package, As the Quality of the person is inside and could be phenomenal meet ? And most people on fab According to There verifications only meet once
Why would you need to verify them more than once? Other than lamppost pissing or catching up after a long period of time
I think ok scenarios are
1. 1st social , 2nd meet
2. Some form of ongoing thing: meeting as a couple on a regular basis and declaring this
3. Some form of outstanding characteristic which needs highlighting
At a push
Or you are getting to know the person better and want to say more?
It says a lot about the person that you would meet them again dont you think? A lot of people on here are looking for repeat meets and not once offs, so a second veri shows that the person isnt just out for one off random shags.
"
We prefer to err on the side of discretion when it comes to repeat meets. Nor do we have any particular objection to "random shags" as you put it, sometimes circumstances mean you can only meet people once, it doesn't mean the meets are of lower "quality" just because they lack in "quantity". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Unfortunately yes, not from my side though but I just know it was for them
As said before shyness can play a part but on this occasion I just got into my head and I could have communicated things better from my end beforehand!
Once, having chatted for years pretty much, what I had in my head was a social meet, a sit down somewhere with a cuppa, turned into going straight back to their hotel. Whilst that may seem like a dream scenario, that the chemistry was there, it was genuinely unexpected and my anxiety kicked up an immediate fuss.
Knowing that they don't get a lot of free time, I know I definitely wasted it for them and I've felt terrible about it ever since
You don't get a second chance at a first impression as they say sure!
I like it to make it clear even before the meet if I can stay for longer than coffee. If I can’t I say things like I can’t go to the pub afterwards because of say soccer or whatever (sounds better than can’t stay for sex , and reasons are genuine ). Being rushed to the hotel might ruin sex but what will definitely ruin it is clock watching This is why we should sometimes put looks aside and enjoy the package, As the Quality of the person is inside and could be phenomenal meet ? And most people on fab According to There verifications only meet once
Why would you need to verify them more than once? Other than lamppost pissing or catching up after a long period of time
I think ok scenarios are
1. 1st social , 2nd meet
2. Some form of ongoing thing: meeting as a couple on a regular basis and declaring this
3. Some form of outstanding characteristic which needs highlighting
At a push
Or you are getting to know the person better and want to say more?
It says a lot about the person that you would meet them again dont you think? A lot of people on here are looking for repeat meets and not once offs, so a second veri shows that the person isnt just out for one off random shags.
We prefer to err on the side of discretion when it comes to repeat meets. Nor do we have any particular objection to "random shags" as you put it, sometimes circumstances mean you can only meet people once, it doesn't mean the meets are of lower "quality" just because they lack in "quantity"."
True. Different strokes for different folks. I was simply providing an alternative explanation to the rather judgemental 'lampost pissing comment' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Unfortunately yes, not from my side though but I just know it was for them
As said before shyness can play a part but on this occasion I just got into my head and I could have communicated things better from my end beforehand!
Once, having chatted for years pretty much, what I had in my head was a social meet, a sit down somewhere with a cuppa, turned into going straight back to their hotel. Whilst that may seem like a dream scenario, that the chemistry was there, it was genuinely unexpected and my anxiety kicked up an immediate fuss.
Knowing that they don't get a lot of free time, I know I definitely wasted it for them and I've felt terrible about it ever since
You don't get a second chance at a first impression as they say sure!
I like it to make it clear even before the meet if I can stay for longer than coffee. If I can’t I say things like I can’t go to the pub afterwards because of say soccer or whatever (sounds better than can’t stay for sex , and reasons are genuine ). Being rushed to the hotel might ruin sex but what will definitely ruin it is clock watching This is why we should sometimes put looks aside and enjoy the package, As the Quality of the person is inside and could be phenomenal meet ? And most people on fab According to There verifications only meet once
Why would you need to verify them more than once? Other than lamppost pissing or catching up after a long period of time
I think ok scenarios are
1. 1st social , 2nd meet
2. Some form of ongoing thing: meeting as a couple on a regular basis and declaring this
3. Some form of outstanding characteristic which needs highlighting
At a push
Or you are getting to know the person better and want to say more?
It says a lot about the person that you would meet them again dont you think? A lot of people on here are looking for repeat meets and not once offs, so a second veri shows that the person isnt just out for one off random shags.
We prefer to err on the side of discretion when it comes to repeat meets. Nor do we have any particular objection to "random shags" as you put it, sometimes circumstances mean you can only meet people once, it doesn't mean the meets are of lower "quality" just because they lack in "quantity".
True. Different strokes for different folks. I was simply providing an alternative explanation to the rather judgemental 'lampost pissing comment'"
As opposed to "random shags"? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Unfortunately yes, not from my side though but I just know it was for them
As said before shyness can play a part but on this occasion I just got into my head and I could have communicated things better from my end beforehand!
Once, having chatted for years pretty much, what I had in my head was a social meet, a sit down somewhere with a cuppa, turned into going straight back to their hotel. Whilst that may seem like a dream scenario, that the chemistry was there, it was genuinely unexpected and my anxiety kicked up an immediate fuss.
Knowing that they don't get a lot of free time, I know I definitely wasted it for them and I've felt terrible about it ever since
You don't get a second chance at a first impression as they say sure!
I like it to make it clear even before the meet if I can stay for longer than coffee. If I can’t I say things like I can’t go to the pub afterwards because of say soccer or whatever (sounds better than can’t stay for sex , and reasons are genuine ). Being rushed to the hotel might ruin sex but what will definitely ruin it is clock watching This is why we should sometimes put looks aside and enjoy the package, As the Quality of the person is inside and could be phenomenal meet ? And most people on fab According to There verifications only meet once
Why would you need to verify them more than once? Other than lamppost pissing or catching up after a long period of time
I think ok scenarios are
1. 1st social , 2nd meet
2. Some form of ongoing thing: meeting as a couple on a regular basis and declaring this
3. Some form of outstanding characteristic which needs highlighting
At a push
Or you are getting to know the person better and want to say more?
It says a lot about the person that you would meet them again dont you think? A lot of people on here are looking for repeat meets and not once offs, so a second veri shows that the person isnt just out for one off random shags.
We prefer to err on the side of discretion when it comes to repeat meets. Nor do we have any particular objection to "random shags" as you put it, sometimes circumstances mean you can only meet people once, it doesn't mean the meets are of lower "quality" just because they lack in "quantity".
True. Different strokes for different folks. I was simply providing an alternative explanation to the rather judgemental 'lampost pissing comment'
As opposed to "random shags"?"
I said lots of people arent into them, it would be written specifically on profiles |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Unfortunately yes, not from my side though but I just know it was for them
As said before shyness can play a part but on this occasion I just got into my head and I could have communicated things better from my end beforehand!
Once, having chatted for years pretty much, what I had in my head was a social meet, a sit down somewhere with a cuppa, turned into going straight back to their hotel. Whilst that may seem like a dream scenario, that the chemistry was there, it was genuinely unexpected and my anxiety kicked up an immediate fuss.
Knowing that they don't get a lot of free time, I know I definitely wasted it for them and I've felt terrible about it ever since
You don't get a second chance at a first impression as they say sure!
I like it to make it clear even before the meet if I can stay for longer than coffee. If I can’t I say things like I can’t go to the pub afterwards because of say soccer or whatever (sounds better than can’t stay for sex , and reasons are genuine ). Being rushed to the hotel might ruin sex but what will definitely ruin it is clock watching This is why we should sometimes put looks aside and enjoy the package, As the Quality of the person is inside and could be phenomenal meet ? And most people on fab According to There verifications only meet once
Why would you need to verify them more than once? Other than lamppost pissing or catching up after a long period of time
I think ok scenarios are
1. 1st social , 2nd meet
2. Some form of ongoing thing: meeting as a couple on a regular basis and declaring this
3. Some form of outstanding characteristic which needs highlighting
At a push
Or you are getting to know the person better and want to say more?
It says a lot about the person that you would meet them again dont you think? A lot of people on here are looking for repeat meets and not once offs, so a second veri shows that the person isnt just out for one off random shags.
We prefer to err on the side of discretion when it comes to repeat meets. Nor do we have any particular objection to "random shags" as you put it, sometimes circumstances mean you can only meet people once, it doesn't mean the meets are of lower "quality" just because they lack in "quantity".
True. Different strokes for different folks. I was simply providing an alternative explanation to the rather judgemental 'lampost pissing comment'
As opposed to "random shags"?
I said lots of people arent into them, it would be written specifically on profiles"
Doesn't make the term any less derogatory IMO |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Or you are getting to know the person better and want to say more?
It says a lot about the person that you would meet them again dont you think? A lot of people on here are looking for repeat meets and not once offs, so a second veri shows that the person isnt just out for one offs.
Edited: There you go |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Or you are getting to know the person better and want to say more?
It says a lot about the person that you would meet them again dont you think? A lot of people on here are looking for repeat meets and not once offs, so a second veri shows that the person isnt just out for one offs.
Edited: There you go"
To me, the purpose of a veri is to confirm the person is real and turns up for meets, their other qualities I can work out for myself I tend to pay little attention to the hyperbole caused by a rush of blood to various organs |
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By *asual777 OP Man
over a year ago
i travel all over |
"Or you are getting to know the person better and want to say more?
It says a lot about the person that you would meet them again dont you think? A lot of people on here are looking for repeat meets and not once offs, so a second veri shows that the person isnt just out for one offs.
Edited: There you go
To me, the purpose of a veri is to confirm the person is real and turns up for meets, their other qualities I can work out for myself I tend to pay little attention to the hyperbole caused by a rush of blood to various organs "
There are veris i wish I can rewrite after a while of knowing someone
I wrote a random veri the other day for someone I had met a few times but not for a while just to say they were kinda wonderful |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Or you are getting to know the person better and want to say more?
It says a lot about the person that you would meet them again dont you think? A lot of people on here are looking for repeat meets and not once offs, so a second veri shows that the person isnt just out for one offs.
Edited: There you go
To me, the purpose of a veri is to confirm the person is real and turns up for meets, their other qualities I can work out for myself I tend to pay little attention to the hyperbole caused by a rush of blood to various organs
There are veris i wish I can rewrite after a while of knowing someone
I wrote a random veri the other day for someone I had met a few times but not for a while just to say they were kinda wonderful "
Ok |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yes has definitely been the case on a few occasions. Think ur getting on great until you meet in person and they act completely different to how u expected.. Only 1 good experience still meet 4 years later when time allows..
Just shoes not all chemistry online can continue in person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes has definitely been the case on a few occasions. Think ur getting on great until you meet in person and they act completely different to how u expected.. Only 1 good experience still meet 4 years later when time allows..
Just shoes not all chemistry online can continue in person. "
Shows |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes has definitely been the case on a few occasions. Think ur getting on great until you meet in person and they act completely different to how u expected.. Only 1 good experience still meet 4 years later when time allows..
Just shoes not all chemistry online can continue in person. "
What is online chemistry anyway, but a display of social skills, that doesn't necessarily translate to anything more....many people are adept at reflecting back in a way that makes the other party feel they have loads in common, but it's not something that holds up on closer inspection. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes has definitely been the case on a few occasions. Think ur getting on great until you meet in person and they act completely different to how u expected.. Only 1 good experience still meet 4 years later when time allows..
Just shoes not all chemistry online can continue in person.
What is online chemistry anyway, but a display of social skills, that doesn't necessarily translate to anything more....many people are adept at reflecting back in a way that makes the other party feel they have loads in common, but it's not something that holds up on closer inspection."
Or some people are just more comfortable behind a screen with time to consider replies and space to form their thoughts that can take longer than a 30minute coffee to get comfortable doing in person.
It doesn't always have to be nefarious |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes has definitely been the case on a few occasions. Think ur getting on great until you meet in person and they act completely different to how u expected.. Only 1 good experience still meet 4 years later when time allows..
Just shoes not all chemistry online can continue in person.
What is online chemistry anyway, but a display of social skills, that doesn't necessarily translate to anything more....many people are adept at reflecting back in a way that makes the other party feel they have loads in common, but it's not something that holds up on closer inspection.
Or some people are just more comfortable behind a screen with time to consider replies and space to form their thoughts that can take longer than a 30minute coffee to get comfortable doing in person.
It doesn't always have to be nefarious "
Not intentionally nefarious, simply a learned skill ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes has definitely been the case on a few occasions. Think ur getting on great until you meet in person and they act completely different to how u expected.. Only 1 good experience still meet 4 years later when time allows..
Just shoes not all chemistry online can continue in person.
What is online chemistry anyway, but a display of social skills, that doesn't necessarily translate to anything more....many people are adept at reflecting back in a way that makes the other party feel they have loads in common, but it's not something that holds up on closer inspection.
Or some people are just more comfortable behind a screen with time to consider replies and space to form their thoughts that can take longer than a 30minute coffee to get comfortable doing in person.
It doesn't always have to be nefarious
Not intentionally nefarious, simply a learned skill ... "
So the same as in person chemistry then? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes has definitely been the case on a few occasions. Think ur getting on great until you meet in person and they act completely different to how u expected.. Only 1 good experience still meet 4 years later when time allows..
Just shoes not all chemistry online can continue in person.
What is online chemistry anyway, but a display of social skills, that doesn't necessarily translate to anything more....many people are adept at reflecting back in a way that makes the other party feel they have loads in common, but it's not something that holds up on closer inspection.
Or some people are just more comfortable behind a screen with time to consider replies and space to form their thoughts that can take longer than a 30minute coffee to get comfortable doing in person.
It doesn't always have to be nefarious
Not intentionally nefarious, simply a learned skill ...
So the same as in person chemistry then?"
Apart from the fact that it cannot be sustained indefinitely - unless the other party has a low EQ or simply sees what they want to see, a level of physical attraction will surely be required for most? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes has definitely been the case on a few occasions. Think ur getting on great until you meet in person and they act completely different to how u expected.. Only 1 good experience still meet 4 years later when time allows..
Just shoes not all chemistry online can continue in person.
What is online chemistry anyway, but a display of social skills, that doesn't necessarily translate to anything more....many people are adept at reflecting back in a way that makes the other party feel they have loads in common, but it's not something that holds up on closer inspection.
Or some people are just more comfortable behind a screen with time to consider replies and space to form their thoughts that can take longer than a 30minute coffee to get comfortable doing in person.
It doesn't always have to be nefarious
Not intentionally nefarious, simply a learned skill ...
So the same as in person chemistry then?
Apart from the fact that it cannot be sustained indefinitely - unless the other party has a low EQ or simply sees what they want to see, a level of physical attraction will surely be required for most?"
Well physical attraction aside, which alot of that can still be judged to a degree online....
Who said it needed to be sustained indefinitely. We are talking about fab interactions.
There are as many people who could charm others meet and greets and end up being a completely different type of person as there are people who can reflect favorably online |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes has definitely been the case on a few occasions. Think ur getting on great until you meet in person and they act completely different to how u expected.. Only 1 good experience still meet 4 years later when time allows..
Just shoes not all chemistry online can continue in person.
What is online chemistry anyway, but a display of social skills, that doesn't necessarily translate to anything more....many people are adept at reflecting back in a way that makes the other party feel they have loads in common, but it's not something that holds up on closer inspection.
Or some people are just more comfortable behind a screen with time to consider replies and space to form their thoughts that can take longer than a 30minute coffee to get comfortable doing in person.
It doesn't always have to be nefarious
Not intentionally nefarious, simply a learned skill ...
So the same as in person chemistry then?
Apart from the fact that it cannot be sustained indefinitely - unless the other party has a low EQ or simply sees what they want to see, a level of physical attraction will surely be required for most?
Well physical attraction aside, which alot of that can still be judged to a degree online....
Who said it needed to be sustained indefinitely. We are talking about fab interactions.
There are as many people who could charm others meet and greets and end up being a completely different type of person as there are people who can reflect favorably online "
True, a lot of people are easily taken in on brief interactions |
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By *asual777 OP Man
over a year ago
i travel all over |
On a separate but related topic
Having a huge number of reheat meets with someone , caring for them in someway which is impossible to steer clear of over a long period , ringing them on a bad day etc , yet not developing an emotional connection which amounts to a relationship is very tricky . You have to really be on the same wavelength in terms of what you’re seeking , to carry on being fwbs for years and years . How you manage the online element between meets is also very important |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"On a separate but related topic
Having a huge number of reheat meets with someone , caring for them in someway which is impossible to steer clear of over a long period , ringing them on a bad day etc , yet not developing an emotional connection which amounts to a relationship is very tricky . You have to really be on the same wavelength in terms of what you’re seeking , to carry on being fwbs for years and years . How you manage the online element between meets is also very important "
Imo if your calling them on bad days for support, caring for them over an extended period its a relationship regardless of what you label it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"On a separate but related topic
Having a huge number of reheat meets with someone , caring for them in someway which is impossible to steer clear of over a long period , ringing them on a bad day etc , yet not developing an emotional connection which amounts to a relationship is very tricky . You have to really be on the same wavelength in terms of what you’re seeking , to carry on being fwbs for years and years . How you manage the online element between meets is also very important
Imo if your calling them on bad days for support, caring for them over an extended period its a relationship regardless of what you label it"
Absolutely, only deluding oneself to deny it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Nice when you have chemistry and banter online and it does translate tho. You feel like you've known someone a while and hit it off straight away in person and repeat meets are a given |
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By *asual777 OP Man
over a year ago
i travel all over |
"On a separate but related topic
Having a huge number of reheat meets with someone , caring for them in someway which is impossible to steer clear of over a long period , ringing them on a bad day etc , yet not developing an emotional connection which amounts to a relationship is very tricky . You have to really be on the same wavelength in terms of what you’re seeking , to carry on being fwbs for years and years . How you manage the online element between meets is also very important
Imo if your calling them on bad days for support, caring for them over an extended period its a relationship regardless of what you label it
Absolutely, only deluding oneself to deny it"
I think there are ways to pull it back towards a FWB situation and away from a relationship , for example
1. All parties Having the same set up with more than one Person
2. All parties continuing to meet others separately without any ‘consultations’
3. All parties having the freedom to go offline when Necessary for extended periods without much drama then return to the same set up
And so on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"On a separate but related topic
Having a huge number of reheat meets with someone , caring for them in someway which is impossible to steer clear of over a long period , ringing them on a bad day etc , yet not developing an emotional connection which amounts to a relationship is very tricky . You have to really be on the same wavelength in terms of what you’re seeking , to carry on being fwbs for years and years . How you manage the online element between meets is also very important
Imo if your calling them on bad days for support, caring for them over an extended period its a relationship regardless of what you label it
Absolutely, only deluding oneself to deny it
I think there are ways to pull it back towards a FWB situation and away from a relationship , for example
1. All parties Having the same set up with more than one Person
2. All parties continuing to meet others separately without any ‘consultations’
3. All parties having the freedom to go offline when Necessary for extended periods without much drama then return to the same set up
And so on "
Do you not think if your having to actively pull it back from a relationship in your own mind ita a sign it means more |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"On a separate but related topic
Having a huge number of reheat meets with someone , caring for them in someway which is impossible to steer clear of over a long period , ringing them on a bad day etc , yet not developing an emotional connection which amounts to a relationship is very tricky . You have to really be on the same wavelength in terms of what you’re seeking , to carry on being fwbs for years and years . How you manage the online element between meets is also very important
Imo if your calling them on bad days for support, caring for them over an extended period its a relationship regardless of what you label it
Absolutely, only deluding oneself to deny it
I think there are ways to pull it back towards a FWB situation and away from a relationship , for example
1. All parties Having the same set up with more than one Person
2. All parties continuing to meet others separately without any ‘consultations’
3. All parties having the freedom to go offline when Necessary for extended periods without much drama then return to the same set up
And so on "
Gosh, it sounds remarkably like "Dial-a-Ride"! |
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"On a separate but related topic
Having a huge number of reheat meets with someone , caring for them in someway which is impossible to steer clear of over a long period , ringing them on a bad day etc , yet not developing an emotional connection which amounts to a relationship is very tricky . You have to really be on the same wavelength in terms of what you’re seeking , to carry on being fwbs for years and years . How you manage the online element between meets is also very important
Imo if your calling them on bad days for support, caring for them over an extended period its a relationship regardless of what you label it"
Is that not what friendship is about too though? In this instance there's the additional benefits of sex.
Definition of relationship is:
"the way in which two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected"
The minute anyone starts engaging with anyone, a relationship of sorts has been formed.
It is then up to both parties to decide on the boundaries of that relationship. More often than not, boundaries are just "assumed". At least in the world I grew up in, communication was often very poor. This is where conflict arises.
I think Casual has a way of making his boundaries clear. If he verbalised those as he does here with his potential meets and existing repeat friends, I certainly would know where I stand:
Not a committed and exclusive relationship, but an agreement to keep in touch with a bit of banter, having gotten to know one another, enjoying each others company and good sex. Liking and checking in on the other even if it's not just about the next session.
Of course, emotions get involved. I'm sure there are few who'll go and talk to or fuck anyone they don't like somewhat or are attracted to somewhat.
It's about keeping the boundaries, and not relying on the other as if you were in a committed relationship. But leaving them that space when they don't reply, aren't available, do meet other people etc...
Just because you're meeting someone repeatedly over a longer period of time, doesn't make it a committed exclusive relationship. That needs to be verbalised and agreed on. Though I'm sure that there are situations where boundaries get wishy washy and are crossed. Have heard the horror stories...
|
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By *asual777 OP Man
over a year ago
i travel all over |
"On a separate but related topic
Having a huge number of reheat meets with someone , caring for them in someway which is impossible to steer clear of over a long period , ringing them on a bad day etc , yet not developing an emotional connection which amounts to a relationship is very tricky . You have to really be on the same wavelength in terms of what you’re seeking , to carry on being fwbs for years and years . How you manage the online element between meets is also very important
Imo if your calling them on bad days for support, caring for them over an extended period its a relationship regardless of what you label it
Absolutely, only deluding oneself to deny it
I think there are ways to pull it back towards a FWB situation and away from a relationship , for example
1. All parties Having the same set up with more than one Person
2. All parties continuing to meet others separately without any ‘consultations’
3. All parties having the freedom to go offline when Necessary for extended periods without much drama then return to the same set up
And so on
Gosh, it sounds remarkably like "Dial-a-Ride"!"
With feelings but not an excessive amount |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"On a separate but related topic
Having a huge number of reheat meets with someone , caring for them in someway which is impossible to steer clear of over a long period , ringing them on a bad day etc , yet not developing an emotional connection which amounts to a relationship is very tricky . You have to really be on the same wavelength in terms of what you’re seeking , to carry on being fwbs for years and years . How you manage the online element between meets is also very important
Imo if your calling them on bad days for support, caring for them over an extended period its a relationship regardless of what you label it
Absolutely, only deluding oneself to deny it
I think there are ways to pull it back towards a FWB situation and away from a relationship , for example
1. All parties Having the same set up with more than one Person
2. All parties continuing to meet others separately without any ‘consultations’
3. All parties having the freedom to go offline when Necessary for extended periods without much drama then return to the same set up
And so on
Gosh, it sounds remarkably like "Dial-a-Ride"!
With feelings but not an excessive amount "
Sounds like you manage kind of 'professional' relationships,
like what a teacher/counsellor/carer might make. connecting in a caring way but not taking it home with you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"On a separate but related topic
Having a huge number of reheat meets with someone , caring for them in someway which is impossible to steer clear of over a long period , ringing them on a bad day etc , yet not developing an emotional connection which amounts to a relationship is very tricky . You have to really be on the same wavelength in terms of what you’re seeking , to carry on being fwbs for years and years . How you manage the online element between meets is also very important
Imo if your calling them on bad days for support, caring for them over an extended period its a relationship regardless of what you label it
Is that not what friendship is about too though? In this instance there's the additional benefits of sex.
Definition of relationship is:
"the way in which two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected"
The minute anyone starts engaging with anyone, a relationship of sorts has been formed.
It is then up to both parties to decide on the boundaries of that relationship. More often than not, boundaries are just "assumed". At least in the world I grew up in, communication was often very poor. This is where conflict arises.
I think Casual has a way of making his boundaries clear. If he verbalised those as he does here with his potential meets and existing repeat friends, I certainly would know where I stand:
Not a committed and exclusive relationship, but an agreement to keep in touch with a bit of banter, having gotten to know one another, enjoying each others company and good sex. Liking and checking in on the other even if it's not just about the next session.
Of course, emotions get involved. I'm sure there are few who'll go and talk to or fuck anyone they don't like somewhat or are attracted to somewhat.
It's about keeping the boundaries, and not relying on the other as if you were in a committed relationship. But leaving them that space when they don't reply, aren't available, do meet other people etc...
Just because you're meeting someone repeatedly over a longer period of time, doesn't make it a committed exclusive relationship. That needs to be verbalised and agreed on. Though I'm sure that there are situations where boundaries get wishy washy and are crossed. Have heard the horror stories...
"
I dont think relationships need to be committed or exclusive.
And I would consider true friendships are a kind of relationship.
I feel if you are in a scenario where you need to manage a sexual partner to prevent it becoming a relationship one or both parties have already blurred the line.
|
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By *asual777 OP Man
over a year ago
i travel all over |
"On a separate but related topic
Having a huge number of reheat meets with someone , caring for them in someway which is impossible to steer clear of over a long period , ringing them on a bad day etc , yet not developing an emotional connection which amounts to a relationship is very tricky . You have to really be on the same wavelength in terms of what you’re seeking , to carry on being fwbs for years and years . How you manage the online element between meets is also very important
Imo if your calling them on bad days for support, caring for them over an extended period its a relationship regardless of what you label it
Is that not what friendship is about too though? In this instance there's the additional benefits of sex.
Definition of relationship is:
"the way in which two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected"
The minute anyone starts engaging with anyone, a relationship of sorts has been formed.
It is then up to both parties to decide on the boundaries of that relationship. More often than not, boundaries are just "assumed". At least in the world I grew up in, communication was often very poor. This is where conflict arises.
I think Casual has a way of making his boundaries clear. If he verbalised those as he does here with his potential meets and existing repeat friends, I certainly would know where I stand:
Not a committed and exclusive relationship, but an agreement to keep in touch with a bit of banter, having gotten to know one another, enjoying each others company and good sex. Liking and checking in on the other even if it's not just about the next session.
Of course, emotions get involved. I'm sure there are few who'll go and talk to or fuck anyone they don't like somewhat or are attracted to somewhat.
It's about keeping the boundaries, and not relying on the other as if you were in a committed relationship. But leaving them that space when they don't reply, aren't available, do meet other people etc...
Just because you're meeting someone repeatedly over a longer period of time, doesn't make it a committed exclusive relationship. That needs to be verbalised and agreed on. Though I'm sure that there are situations where boundaries get wishy washy and are crossed. Have heard the horror stories...
I dont think relationships need to be committed or exclusive.
And I would consider true friendships are a kind of relationship.
I feel if you are in a scenario where you need to manage a sexual partner to prevent it becoming a relationship one or both parties have already blurred the line.
"
Circular ? Not manage but start off with clear intentions communicated to all and by all
Anyway we should probably move on to discuss open front doors or smegma or something more light hearted |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"On a separate but related topic
Having a huge number of reheat meets with someone , caring for them in someway which is impossible to steer clear of over a long period , ringing them on a bad day etc , yet not developing an emotional connection which amounts to a relationship is very tricky . You have to really be on the same wavelength in terms of what you’re seeking , to carry on being fwbs for years and years . How you manage the online element between meets is also very important
Imo if your calling them on bad days for support, caring for them over an extended period its a relationship regardless of what you label it
Is that not what friendship is about too though? In this instance there's the additional benefits of sex.
Definition of relationship is:
"the way in which two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected"
The minute anyone starts engaging with anyone, a relationship of sorts has been formed.
It is then up to both parties to decide on the boundaries of that relationship. More often than not, boundaries are just "assumed". At least in the world I grew up in, communication was often very poor. This is where conflict arises.
I think Casual has a way of making his boundaries clear. If he verbalised those as he does here with his potential meets and existing repeat friends, I certainly would know where I stand:
Not a committed and exclusive relationship, but an agreement to keep in touch with a bit of banter, having gotten to know one another, enjoying each others company and good sex. Liking and checking in on the other even if it's not just about the next session.
Of course, emotions get involved. I'm sure there are few who'll go and talk to or fuck anyone they don't like somewhat or are attracted to somewhat.
It's about keeping the boundaries, and not relying on the other as if you were in a committed relationship. But leaving them that space when they don't reply, aren't available, do meet other people etc...
Just because you're meeting someone repeatedly over a longer period of time, doesn't make it a committed exclusive relationship. That needs to be verbalised and agreed on. Though I'm sure that there are situations where boundaries get wishy washy and are crossed. Have heard the horror stories...
I dont think relationships need to be committed or exclusive.
And I would consider true friendships are a kind of relationship.
I feel if you are in a scenario where you need to manage a sexual partner to prevent it becoming a relationship one or both parties have already blurred the line.
Circular ? Not manage but start off with clear intentions communicated to all and by all
Anyway we should probably move on to discuss open front doors or smegma or something more light hearted "
Ummmm you mentioned manage first.
I dont think it's circular but I do like how you use that term when you don't have a fresh perspective in a discussion
And no need to move into a different topic on the thread started for these topics. Of you need to talk about your smegma again make a new thread  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"On a separate but related topic
Having a huge number of reheat meets with someone , caring for them in someway which is impossible to steer clear of over a long period , ringing them on a bad day etc , yet not developing an emotional connection which amounts to a relationship is very tricky . You have to really be on the same wavelength in terms of what you’re seeking , to carry on being fwbs for years and years . How you manage the online element between meets is also very important
Imo if your calling them on bad days for support, caring for them over an extended period its a relationship regardless of what you label it
Is that not what friendship is about too though? In this instance there's the additional benefits of sex.
Definition of relationship is:
"the way in which two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected"
The minute anyone starts engaging with anyone, a relationship of sorts has been formed.
It is then up to both parties to decide on the boundaries of that relationship. More often than not, boundaries are just "assumed". At least in the world I grew up in, communication was often very poor. This is where conflict arises.
I think Casual has a way of making his boundaries clear. If he verbalised those as he does here with his potential meets and existing repeat friends, I certainly would know where I stand:
Not a committed and exclusive relationship, but an agreement to keep in touch with a bit of banter, having gotten to know one another, enjoying each others company and good sex. Liking and checking in on the other even if it's not just about the next session.
Of course, emotions get involved. I'm sure there are few who'll go and talk to or fuck anyone they don't like somewhat or are attracted to somewhat.
It's about keeping the boundaries, and not relying on the other as if you were in a committed relationship. But leaving them that space when they don't reply, aren't available, do meet other people etc...
Just because you're meeting someone repeatedly over a longer period of time, doesn't make it a committed exclusive relationship. That needs to be verbalised and agreed on. Though I'm sure that there are situations where boundaries get wishy washy and are crossed. Have heard the horror stories...
I dont think relationships need to be committed or exclusive.
And I would consider true friendships are a kind of relationship.
I feel if you are in a scenario where you need to manage a sexual partner to prevent it becoming a relationship one or both parties have already blurred the line.
Circular ? Not manage but start off with clear intentions communicated to all and by all
Anyway we should probably move on to discuss open front doors or smegma or something more light hearted "
Starting off with clear intentions is all very well, if only those pesky humans wouldn't keep veering from the script. |
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By *asual777 OP Man
over a year ago
i travel all over |
"On a separate but related topic
Having a huge number of reheat meets with someone , caring for them in someway which is impossible to steer clear of over a long period , ringing them on a bad day etc , yet not developing an emotional connection which amounts to a relationship is very tricky . You have to really be on the same wavelength in terms of what you’re seeking , to carry on being fwbs for years and years . How you manage the online element between meets is also very important
Imo if your calling them on bad days for support, caring for them over an extended period its a relationship regardless of what you label it
Is that not what friendship is about too though? In this instance there's the additional benefits of sex.
Definition of relationship is:
"the way in which two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected"
The minute anyone starts engaging with anyone, a relationship of sorts has been formed.
It is then up to both parties to decide on the boundaries of that relationship. More often than not, boundaries are just "assumed". At least in the world I grew up in, communication was often very poor. This is where conflict arises.
I think Casual has a way of making his boundaries clear. If he verbalised those as he does here with his potential meets and existing repeat friends, I certainly would know where I stand:
Not a committed and exclusive relationship, but an agreement to keep in touch with a bit of banter, having gotten to know one another, enjoying each others company and good sex. Liking and checking in on the other even if it's not just about the next session.
Of course, emotions get involved. I'm sure there are few who'll go and talk to or fuck anyone they don't like somewhat or are attracted to somewhat.
It's about keeping the boundaries, and not relying on the other as if you were in a committed relationship. But leaving them that space when they don't reply, aren't available, do meet other people etc...
Just because you're meeting someone repeatedly over a longer period of time, doesn't make it a committed exclusive relationship. That needs to be verbalised and agreed on. Though I'm sure that there are situations where boundaries get wishy washy and are crossed. Have heard the horror stories...
I dont think relationships need to be committed or exclusive.
And I would consider true friendships are a kind of relationship.
I feel if you are in a scenario where you need to manage a sexual partner to prevent it becoming a relationship one or both parties have already blurred the line.
Circular ? Not manage but start off with clear intentions communicated to all and by all
Anyway we should probably move on to discuss open front doors or smegma or something more light hearted
Starting off with clear intentions is all very well, if only those pesky humans wouldn't keep veering from the script."
Yes I agree , and I don’t see ‘managing’ things as they develop a negative . I manage my emotions when the kids misbehave , I manage my praise to friends who don’t like hyperbole , it’s what we do... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On a separate but related topic
Having a huge number of reheat meets with someone , caring for them in someway which is impossible to steer clear of over a long period , ringing them on a bad day etc , yet not developing an emotional connection which amounts to a relationship is very tricky . You have to really be on the same wavelength in terms of what you’re seeking , to carry on being fwbs for years and years . How you manage the online element between meets is also very important
Imo if your calling them on bad days for support, caring for them over an extended period its a relationship regardless of what you label it
Is that not what friendship is about too though? In this instance there's the additional benefits of sex.
Definition of relationship is:
"the way in which two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected"
The minute anyone starts engaging with anyone, a relationship of sorts has been formed.
It is then up to both parties to decide on the boundaries of that relationship. More often than not, boundaries are just "assumed". At least in the world I grew up in, communication was often very poor. This is where conflict arises.
I think Casual has a way of making his boundaries clear. If he verbalised those as he does here with his potential meets and existing repeat friends, I certainly would know where I stand:
Not a committed and exclusive relationship, but an agreement to keep in touch with a bit of banter, having gotten to know one another, enjoying each others company and good sex. Liking and checking in on the other even if it's not just about the next session.
Of course, emotions get involved. I'm sure there are few who'll go and talk to or fuck anyone they don't like somewhat or are attracted to somewhat.
It's about keeping the boundaries, and not relying on the other as if you were in a committed relationship. But leaving them that space when they don't reply, aren't available, do meet other people etc...
Just because you're meeting someone repeatedly over a longer period of time, doesn't make it a committed exclusive relationship. That needs to be verbalised and agreed on. Though I'm sure that there are situations where boundaries get wishy washy and are crossed. Have heard the horror stories...
I dont think relationships need to be committed or exclusive.
And I would consider true friendships are a kind of relationship.
I feel if you are in a scenario where you need to manage a sexual partner to prevent it becoming a relationship one or both parties have already blurred the line.
Circular ? Not manage but start off with clear intentions communicated to all and by all
Anyway we should probably move on to discuss open front doors or smegma or something more light hearted
Starting off with clear intentions is all very well, if only those pesky humans wouldn't keep veering from the script.
Yes I agree , and I don’t see ‘managing’ things as they develop a negative . I manage my emotions when the kids misbehave , I manage my praise to friends who don’t like hyperbole , it’s what we do... "
I'd be in agreement with you there, but it's something that a lot of people seem unable to do, hence drama and hurt feelings. |
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