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Question for the ladies
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
It's pretty important to me .Mainly because it should be about mutual pleasure and satisfaction. And I feel when a guy doesn't cum that maybe he didn't enjoy the experience as much.
It has happened once when I was with a guy and while we had great fun and he said he enjoyed the experience it always left me thinking maybe I could have done something more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's pretty important to me .Mainly because it should be about mutual pleasure and satisfaction. And I feel when a guy doesn't cum that maybe he didn't enjoy the experience as much.
It has happened once when I was with a guy and while we had great fun and he said he enjoyed the experience it always left me thinking maybe I could have done something more."
Id agree. Id be disappointed if he didn't and would totally question myself afterwards. |
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It's always been my experience that the more attracted I was to a woman, the longer it took me. Sometimes I couldn't but it had nothing to do with her. It's almost like my body was saying "no no no, this is too much fun to stop" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's been times when it just wouldn't happen for me...
With one partner, that was more often than not, so I dreaded having sex as it felt like a massive chore |
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"There's been times when it just wouldn't happen for me...
With one partner, that was more often than not, so I dreaded having sex as it felt like a massive chore "
Was she blockmailing you or something??
Change the o in block for an a |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's been times when it just wouldn't happen for me...
With one partner, that was more often than not, so I dreaded having sex as it felt like a massive chore
Was she blockmailing you or something??
Change the o in block for an a"
No, I just couldn't cum when we had sex. So it became a psychological as well as physical issue. |
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By *iss3BWoman
over a year ago
north down |
"It's pretty important to me .Mainly because it should be about mutual pleasure and satisfaction. And I feel when a guy doesn't cum that maybe he didn't enjoy the experience as much.
It has happened once when I was with a guy and while we had great fun and he said he enjoyed the experience it always left me thinking maybe I could have done something more.
Id agree. Id be disappointed if he didn't and would totally question myself afterwards."
This is so true, happened to me and I totally had self doubt after it....although ì know it left them feeling crap too |
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I live by the motto, life is a journey, not a destination - the same is true for sex.
If the emphasis is only on the end result - the orgasm, be that for him or me, puts too much pressure on the fun. I find that counter productive.
Those who I've been comfortable with in the past know that I get over sensitised relatively easy, which makes it more difficult for me to cum but they also knew that they still had me riding the wave of ecstasy, on the constant brink of orgasm, which is as good as an orgasm because it lasts and lasts and lasts.
If he hasn't cum, it's not a big deal for me unless it's a problem for him. I believe I'm easygoing, open and honest enough to have those conversations, whatever the cause.
In the past either one or both cumming or not cumming when on repeat meets has never been made into a "problem". It's something that is chatted about in a light hearted manner.
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"I live by the motto, life is a journey, not a destination - the same is true for sex.
If the emphasis is only on the end result - the orgasm, be that for him or me, puts too much pressure on the fun. I find that counter productive.
Those who I've been comfortable with in the past know that I get over sensitised relatively easy, which makes it more difficult for me to cum but they also knew that they still had me riding the wave of ecstasy, on the constant brink of orgasm, which is as good as an orgasm because it lasts and lasts and lasts.
If he hasn't cum, it's not a big deal for me unless it's a problem for him. I believe I'm easygoing, open and honest enough to have those conversations, whatever the cause.
In the past either one or both cumming or not cumming when on repeat meets has never been made into a "problem". It's something that is chatted about in a light hearted manner.
"
Best answer yet.
It should only ever be an issue if the lady or whoever, likes the feel, taste, etc as a part of the process |
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"There's been times when it just wouldn't happen for me...
With one partner, that was more often than not, so I dreaded having sex as it felt like a massive chore "
And that's exactly what I was trying to get at in my post - if there's too much pressure on the orgasm at the end by either party, it just destroys the fun! I'd be the same! If it's expected, it's guaranteed NOT to happen. And I know the same is true for (some) men too. The orgasm starts in the mind, if the mind isn't in the right place, which in this instance, it just couldn't be, it's a lost cause! |
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By *asual777Man
over a year ago
i travel all over |
"And guys if a lady doesn't cum or orgasm? "
What she thinks about it is the most important . There are no goals . It’s such a privilege to be healthy and experience joy in the world given what’s going on in some parts . Just to make connections and have sex occasionally feels so amazing on its own . I wouldn’t want to put conditions on what might be deemed good sex and what wouldn’t |
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By *lameBoyMan
over a year ago
Enfield & Dublin |
I like to make sure that the lady is totally satisfied before I allow myself to cum. I absolutely love the journey to orgasm and if I stop short of cumming myself I’m not dissatisfied or disappointed at all. Sometimes we might discuss it beforehand or maybe not. I hear what some of the ladies are saying and I’m more than happy to oblige if my cumming is important to them. Communication is the key. |
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"I live by the motto, life is a journey, not a destination - the same is true for sex.
If the emphasis is only on the end result - the orgasm, be that for him or me, puts too much pressure on the fun. I find that counter productive.
Those who I've been comfortable with in the past know that I get over sensitised relatively easy, which makes it more difficult for me to cum but they also knew that they still had me riding the wave of ecstasy, on the constant brink of orgasm, which is as good as an orgasm because it lasts and lasts and lasts.
If he hasn't cum, it's not a big deal for me unless it's a problem for him. I believe I'm easygoing, open and honest enough to have those conversations, whatever the cause.
In the past either one or both cumming or not cumming when on repeat meets has never been made into a "problem". It's something that is chatted about in a light hearted manner.
Best answer yet.
It should only ever be an issue if the lady or whoever, likes the feel, taste, etc as a part of the process"
I would have thought most women who enjoy having sex with men enjoy the man's orgasm, be that because of the sensory aspects or be that because it makes her feel sexy and desirable, being the cause and a part of that man's orgasm or the combination of those and any other reasons.
I've been in a situation where I had problems with my orgasm. I had been single for a while after the break up of a long term relationship. The first guy I slept with had me down to a Tee, touched me how and exactly where I needed it but I couldn't cum - nothing to do with him, everything to do with me and finding my way back into my sexuality and sharing it again, but with someone new.
Hence I would never take it personally if I was with a man who didn't cum when he's with me. Unless, of course, it's a constant over lots of meets, then I would question it. I'd have a conversation in the hope of finding the root cause with the possibility to change that. (If it's someone I'm interested in and like, obviously). |
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There's never a plan or a blueprint and definitely no pressure or expectation on either the woman to cum first or me to cum at all. Whatever happens, happens as long as it is enjoyable for both.
Foreplay doesn't always have to involve finding erogenous zones but the biggest and most obvious one is the funny bone. |
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I think it’s the same both ways. As mentioned by the some ladies they think what they could do different and some men will think what they could do different. By thinking that it means they care about satisfying the other person be it male or female. One that doesn’t care if the other is satisfied in my option is classed as cold sex. Not for me thanks. As long as I know the other person is satisfied in what ever way is the main thing. Once they walk away happy and a smile on their face. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For us it’s more of a turn on for my wife that I don’t cum. She keeps my in chastity and enjoys holding my balls as she cums from her toys stimulation. It’s important for me to. I’ve always wanted to ensure she’s well satisfied before looking for anything myself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having both experienced periods in our lives when reaching orgasm has been difficult (due to external factors and not the sex), we try to not make it a big issue, because pressure - or perceived pressure - can just make things worse. You just have to take other cues that your opposite number is enjoying it. Personally speaking, we've tried to be up front about it which hopefully has provided some reassurance.
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"It's pretty important to me .Mainly because it should be about mutual pleasure and satisfaction. And I feel when a guy doesn't cum that maybe he didn't enjoy the experience as much.
It has happened once when I was with a guy and while we had great fun and he said he enjoyed the experience it always left me thinking maybe I could have done something more.
Id agree. Id be disappointed if he didn't and would totally question myself afterwards."
In my younger days I couldn't cum during sex. I couldn't get out of me own head to relax and feel comfortable with the lady I was with. You shouldn't take it personally because, for me anyway it was entirely my problem and nothing to do with the women. |
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By *asual777Man
over a year ago
i travel all over |
"It's pretty important to me .Mainly because it should be about mutual pleasure and satisfaction. And I feel when a guy doesn't cum that maybe he didn't enjoy the experience as much.
It has happened once when I was with a guy and while we had great fun and he said he enjoyed the experience it always left me thinking maybe I could have done something more.
Id agree. Id be disappointed if he didn't and would totally question myself afterwards.
In my younger days I couldn't cum during sex. I couldn't get out of me own head to relax and feel comfortable with the lady I was with. You shouldn't take it personally because, for me anyway it was entirely my problem and nothing to do with the women."
There seems to be a narrative that not Cumming for a guy is an issue in some way and that needs to be not over thought etc . For some it’s sometimes a choice , to prolong intercourse . If it’s some kind of deal breaker it happens and when the time is right It happens . And sometimes it doesn’t . |
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By *3nsesMan
over a year ago
Dublin |
As much as I love an orgasm I do find placing so much emphasis on about 5 second of that experience to be fairly short-sighted.
I've had sex where I didn't cum that has been an overall more enjoyable experience than times when I have cum. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's really for anyone who likes the cock I guess.
Q,
How important is it to you that the man cums during sex?"
Ok, I've had experiences when it comes to this. I've been with a couple of women over the years that orgasm quiet easily and quickly.
Because of this they have gotten extra sensitive and uncomfortable to continue. Of course the offer to help me out in other ways was there each time but I always decline because I like my partner to just relax and enjoy the moment after sex.
Now I've also had partners that were the opposite and who don't orgasm easily at all. Usually I figure that out at the end of the first meet where I win the race lol. Definitely got to work harder at it next time. But what has happened me sometimes then in this situation is I put so much pressure on myself to help them get there I end up giving myself a mental block. Although I have to point out I'm definitely one who enjoys giving a little more than receiving so I enjoy these experiences very much so too.
Now tho I feel like I should point out most of the time I have no prob finishing the race haha
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's pretty important to me .Mainly because it should be about mutual pleasure and satisfaction. And I feel when a guy doesn't cum that maybe he didn't enjoy the experience as much.
It has happened once when I was with a guy and while we had great fun and he said he enjoyed the experience it always left me thinking maybe I could have done something more.
Id agree. Id be disappointed if he didn't and would totally question myself afterwards."
I wouldn’t stress so much ladies.. the guys are probably trying their best to hold off cuming for ages during sex and reached a stage of not being able to.. as long as he was still hard I’m sure it shouldn’t be perceived as failure .. cum don’t cum us guys can’t win....  |
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By *t777Woman
over a year ago
close by |
"It's pretty important to me .Mainly because it should be about mutual pleasure and satisfaction. And I feel when a guy doesn't cum that maybe he didn't enjoy the experience as much.
It has happened once when I was with a guy and while we had great fun and he said he enjoyed the experience it always left me thinking maybe I could have done something more.
Id agree. Id be disappointed if he didn't and would totally question myself afterwards.
I wouldn’t stress so much ladies.. the guys are probably trying their best to hold off cuming for ages during sex and reached a stage of not being able to.. as long as he was still hard I’m sure it shouldn’t be perceived as failure .. cum don’t cum us guys can’t win.... "
You guys can always win  |
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By *isspafWoman
over a year ago
Dublin |
"I live by the motto, life is a journey, not a destination - the same is true for sex.
If the emphasis is only on the end result - the orgasm, be that for him or me, puts too much pressure on the fun. I find that counter productive.
Those who I've been comfortable with in the past know that I get over sensitised relatively easy, which makes it more difficult for me to cum but they also knew that they still had me riding the wave of ecstasy, on the constant brink of orgasm, which is as good as an orgasm because it lasts and lasts and lasts.
If he hasn't cum, it's not a big deal for me unless it's a problem for him. I believe I'm easygoing, open and honest enough to have those conversations, whatever the cause.
In the past either one or both cumming or not cumming when on repeat meets has never been made into a "problem". It's something that is chatted about in a light hearted manner.
"
Hear hear. I recently attended a sex education workshop and this is exactly what was said.
We need to enjoy the pleasure as it happens and not always think that orgasm has to be the goal to having good sex.
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Him coming too early is the much more prevalent issue. 
