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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi all. Just to let ye know I am going to confess to my wife later that I am bi sexual and sexually open minded. I'm sure lots of ye have had the same conversation be itt confessing or hearing it. I won't lie i am shitting it. Once this door opens ther is no going back. But saying that it could be te best thing for the two of us. I hope to god it goes well because I love her to bits. I think even the confession itself will help me immensely despite the out come. Wish me well and any words of advice I'll appreciate.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Best of luck. Work through what you're gonna say and try see as much from her point of view as much as yours.
Hope it goes well!!"
I know going through it I'm my head the past four days. Don't even know wher to start |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think you should sleep on that and see how you feel tomorrow. it's happening this evening she knows I have something to talk to her about "
if you don't hear from me you know how it xent  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all. Just to let ye know I am going to confess to my wife later that I am bi sexual and sexually open minded. I'm sure lots of ye have had the same conversation be itt confessing or hearing it. I won't lie i am shitting it. Once this door opens ther is no going back. But saying that it could be te best thing for the two of us. I hope to god it goes well because I love her to bits. I think even the confession itself will help me immensely despite the out come. Wish me well and any words of advice I'll appreciate. "
Best of luck, I told my wife last year and so happy that I did. We weren't and still don't have sex simply because she feels she too old for it. So it came as a relief for her too because we have a great relationship and she doesn't feel like she is denying me pleasure anymore. We have boundaries and she doesn't want to know the details. It definitely improved our relationship but thread carefully. Remember not all women are the same. Hope it goes well for you, Sean |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hi all. Just to let ye know I am going to confess to my wife later that I am bi sexual and sexually open minded. I'm sure lots of ye have had the same conversation be itt confessing or hearing it. I won't lie i am shitting it. Once this door opens ther is no going back. But saying that it could be te best thing for the two of us. I hope to god it goes well because I love her to bits. I think even the confession itself will help me immensely despite the out come. Wish me well and any words of advice I'll appreciate.
Best of luck, I told my wife last year and so happy that I did. We weren't and still don't have sex simply because she feels she too old for it. So it came as a relief for her too because we have a great relationship and she doesn't feel like she is denying me pleasure anymore. We have boundaries and she doesn't want to know the details. It definitely improved our relationship but thread carefully. Remember not all women are the same. Hope it goes well for you, Sean "
yea I get that. There is other stuff at play aswell I've had a troubled past which never helped. We haven't had had sex in ages. I'm figuring out now it wasn't that I was gone off her it's just that I wasn't able to be open with her about sexual stuff. So I did what I've always and avoided it |
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By *quinnMan
over a year ago
Limerick |
Really good luck OP, as many have said, its a very brave decision and you are doing the right thing in the long run even if there is some immediate pain on both sides. Hope all goes well for you both.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Be brilliant. Be funny.
Be adventurous. Be exciting.
Be confident. Be inquisitive.
Be warm. Be inviting.
Be happy. Be grateful.
Be willing. Be brave.
Be bold. Be inspiring.
Be remarkable, but behave.
Be nice and be giving.
Be sensitive. Be caring.
Be proud and be honourable.
Be open. Be sharing.
Be smart and be curious.
Be trustworthy. Be cool.
Be wise, be ambitious
And be nobody’s fool.
Be calm, be determined
Be eloquent. Be measured.
Be knowledgeable. Be humble.
Be gracious. Be pleasured.
Be marvellous. Be accepting.
Be empathetic. Be true.
Be awesome. Be you."
- MS Moem
Best of luck, Ohpee!
Not everyone is born with a road map, knowing who they are, it can take people a lifetime to discover themselves. It takes strength to embrace it!
Wishing you both the best |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well folks too early to say but not looking good at this stage. In fairness can be easy on herself either so probably take time to sink in and decide our future. Any way thnx for all the positive vibes  |
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By *ind PaddyMan
over a year ago
South County Dublin |
"Hi all. Just to let ye know I am going to confess to my wife later that I am bi sexual and sexually open minded. I'm sure lots of ye have had the same conversation be itt confessing or hearing it. I won't lie i am shitting it. Once this door opens ther is no going back. But saying that it could be te best thing for the two of us. I hope to god it goes well because I love her to bits. I think even the confession itself will help me immensely despite the out come. Wish me well and any words of advice I'll appreciate. "
best of luck, very brave decision, hope it works out for both of you |
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"Well folks too early to say but not looking good at this stage. In fairness can be easy on herself either so probably take time to sink in and decide our future. Any way thnx for all the positive vibes "
Don't worry if it doesn't look good at this stage, it's probably been a massive shock to her & will take time to sink in.
It's nearly 2 years
since I told my wife, admittedly it was a case of having to tell rather than making a conscious decision to do it which may have lessened the shock. I was also lucky that she is very open minded & curious about other cultures & lifestyles & while not necessarily getting actively involved she was more than willing to go to a social night to try to learn & understand. She ended up having a ball on the dance floor & can't wait for the social side of things to get going again.
It has made a massive difference to both of us, in a good way I think.
Have you told her about this site and that you have chatted, or maybe more to other guys?
If not then tell her now, or as soon as she asks. Now that you've started there's no point in holding back something that may come out later on. I don't mean for that to sound critical or condescending, just advice from someone who has been where you are now.
Above all else at the moment you're going to need patience, let her have space to think & try & keep normal life going, or as normal as you can
Hope it all works out as well for you as it did for us.
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
"Well folks too early to say but not looking good at this stage. In fairness can be easy on herself either so probably take time to sink in and decide our future. Any way thnx for all the positive vibes
Don't worry if it doesn't look good at this stage, it's probably been a massive shock to her & will take time to sink in.
It's nearly 2 years
since I told my wife, admittedly it was a case of having to tell rather than making a conscious decision to do it which may have lessened the shock. I was also lucky that she is very open minded & curious about other cultures & lifestyles & while not necessarily getting actively involved she was more than willing to go to a social night to try to learn & understand. She ended up having a ball on the dance floor & can't wait for the social side of things to get going again.
It has made a massive difference to both of us, in a good way I think.
Have you told her about this site and that you have chatted, or maybe more to other guys?
If not then tell her now, or as soon as she asks. Now that you've started there's no point in holding back something that may come out later on. I don't mean for that to sound critical or condescending, just advice from someone who has been where you are now.
Above all else at the moment you're going to need patience, let her have space to think & try & keep normal life going, or as normal as you can
Hope it all works out as well for you as it did for us.
"
Did it help that Gretal is also bi when you told her |
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By *lameBoyMan
over a year ago
Enfield & Dublin |
Honestly I wish you both the very best of luck going forward. You did a remarkably brave thing tonight by opening up and being honest with her. As was said already it must have been some shock to her but when the dust settles, I hope she can appreciate how strong you are. There might be a long road ahead of you both but set a target and aim for it. Don’t dwell on negatives. Onwards and upwards now. Congratulations. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That first conversation will be the hardest, and a shock too im sure. Well done.
Opening communication is the best thing, and making 'holding on to the good stuff' the priority between you.
xxR |
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"Well folks too early to say but not looking good at this stage. In fairness can be easy on herself either so probably take time to sink in and decide our future. Any way thnx for all the positive vibes "
Just give it time, that's what she needs right now. Have faith that you did the right thing in being true to yourself and opening up to her. Trust that all will be well |
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"
Did it help that Gretal is also bi when you told her "
That had nothing to do with. Her bi curiosity is not about her having sex with other women, more about her being open to exploring and not ruling anything in or out. When we set up this profile we did so with the attitude of taking one step at a time & seeing where it went.
Apologies OP for hi jacking your thread slightly. I hope you both can get through this and move on as Gretel & I did.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well folks too early to say but not looking good at this stage. In fairness can be easy on herself either so probably take time to sink in and decide our future. Any way thnx for all the positive vibes "
Just keep talking and reassuring pal. Honesty and understanding is the way now.
All the best. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well folks too early to say but not looking good at this stage. In fairness can be easy on herself either so probably take time to sink in and decide our future. Any way thnx for all the positive vibes "
It's the start of a process that can take a long time, and possibly a huge shock to her, anything that threatens the status quo will be unsettling. Give her time and keep talking, talking, talking, and reassuring her of your feelings for her. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well folks thx for all the messages. Yea I can't imagine wha she must be going through. Hate seeing her upset and part of me is regretting it already.i was a bt naive to think this was going to sorted sooner than later. |
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Remember OP, you have been thinking about this & pondering the conversation(s) and potential outcomes for a very long time.
This is a lot of new & probably unexpected information for your wife. She needs time to get past her initial emotional reaction, time to process, time to consider, time to think about the future. She may want to do some of that processing without your input, she may have lots of questions.
An initial negative reaction doesn't necessarily mean it's going to end badly.
You've done the right thing being honest with yourself and her though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah this is so tricky in terms of expectations and each persons own views. I’ve written my wife cuckolding stories and she knows I’m into submission and everything but she see saws between accepting and wanting to try it and then shutting it down altogether. As a sub I just figured what’s the big deal she’d love to meet another guy and have that freedom but it’s not working out like that. At the end of the day if you both love each other things will work out. You might just have to accept that she doesn’t want certain things like I have to accept my wife doesn’t. It’s a little frustrating as sometimes she will indicate she does want them. Anyway I don’t want this to come across as all about me. Hopefully all works out. You could say you don’t want to meet men etc and would like to start with role play and strap on etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Remember OP, you have been thinking about this & pondering the conversation(s) and potential outcomes for a very long time.
This is a lot of new & probably unexpected information for your wife. She needs time to get past her initial emotional reaction, time to process, time to consider, time to think about the future. She may want to do some of that processing without your input, she may have lots of questions.
An initial negative reaction doesn't necessarily mean it's going to end badly.
You've done the right thing being honest with yourself and her though. "
This is a very good post. I’ve been in this position. Years of having thought and tried things and then just expecting my wife to be at the same speed as me once I started to tell her |
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