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By *issus OP Woman
over a year ago
Belfast |
Noticed it years ago and am just curious:
When someone says a word "meet" what does it mean to you?
To me meet is a meet - two or more individuals meeting in person. Nothing less, nothing more.
A lot of people tell you they want a "meet" with you then proceed to explain in what way they want to have sex with you.
Some people are happy to meet you till last minute when they pass a remark like "can't wait to get my hands on you" and you realise that their version of a "meet" is not same as yours.
I started to feel like I have to specify multiple times to people I haven't met yet that our meet will be a social meet.
So what is a "meet" in your books? |
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By *affa31Woman
over a year ago
Galway |
Social is a social meet and a meet is play meet in my books.
You do probably need to specify that a first encounter will be a social instead of referring to a meet.
(The more I say meet, the more the terrible English is getting to me  why the heck do we call it a meet at all) |
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"Noticed it years ago and am just curious:
When someone says a word "meet" what does it mean to you?
To me meet is a meet - two or more individuals meeting in person. Nothing less, nothing more.
A lot of people tell you they want a "meet" with you then proceed to explain in what way they want to have sex with you.
Some people are happy to meet you till last minute when they pass a remark like "can't wait to get my hands on you" and you realise that their version of a "meet" is not same as yours.
I started to feel like I have to specify multiple times to people I haven't met yet that our meet will be a social meet.
So what is a "meet" in your books? "
Meet/Meat - kind of infers something.
That said it took me a while to learn "Fab vocabulary and language".
For me, meeting someone for the first time is always a social. And I make that clear in my communication! Should there be chemistry and a suitable location on that first social- who knows what can or might happen?! Snapshot decisions in the heat of the moment can be wonderful  . But they are made, there and then, in person rather than ahead of time.
But even if a follow up is organised, I would hope that consent to more than socialising is not assumed by either party - ever, because you just never know how a follow up goes either!
Clear as mud, right?! |
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By *issus OP Woman
over a year ago
Belfast |
"It could sort of mean both to me but I'd usually meet anyone socially first so I'd specify that in our chat. "Let's have a social meet"..."
But that's my whole point!
Why should you have to specify to some online stranger that you've never met before in your life that you are not planning to have sex with them upon meeting (no matter how many messages you have exchanged prior)?
I mean we don't have to specify to our friends, workmates and family that we are not planning to have sex with them when we're arranging to meet them..
And yes, it is a subject to conversational concept. That's if you already had a conversation with said person and that conversation is directed to sexual side. i.e. if you're heavily sexting with someone for a week don't think they'll expect to meet you for tea and crumpets unless you specifically told them so and made it clear beforehand.
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"It could sort of mean both to me but I'd usually meet anyone socially first so I'd specify that in our chat. "Let's have a social meet"...
But that's my whole point!
Why should you have to specify to some online stranger that you've never met before in your life that you are not planning to have sex with them upon meeting (no matter how many messages you have exchanged prior)?
I mean we don't have to specify to our friends, workmates and family that we are not planning to have sex with them when we're arranging to meet them..
And yes, it is a subject to conversational concept. That's if you already had a conversation with said person and that conversation is directed to sexual side. i.e. if you're heavily sexting with someone for a week don't think they'll expect to meet you for tea and crumpets unless you specifically told them so and made it clear beforehand.
"
That's why I don't "sext" with people I haven't met in person! Because it may give implications and hope for more!
I may talk about certain preferences and kinks in a conversational manner, no more.
Sexting and dirty talk is reserved for someone I have met and have gotten intimate with and am therefore more comfortable with, possibly even someone where I would hope or have discussed an "arrangement" for the foreseeable.. |
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By *issus OP Woman
over a year ago
Belfast |
"It could sort of mean both to me but I'd usually meet anyone socially first so I'd specify that in our chat. "Let's have a social meet"...
But that's my whole point!
Why should you have to specify to some online stranger that you've never met before in your life that you are not planning to have sex with them upon meeting (no matter how many messages you have exchanged prior)?
I mean we don't have to specify to our friends, workmates and family that we are not planning to have sex with them when we're arranging to meet them..
And yes, it is a subject to conversational concept. That's if you already had a conversation with said person and that conversation is directed to sexual side. i.e. if you're heavily sexting with someone for a week don't think they'll expect to meet you for tea and crumpets unless you specifically told them so and made it clear beforehand.
That's why I don't "sext" with people I haven't met in person! Because it may give implications and hope for more!
I may talk about certain preferences and kinks in a conversational manner, no more.
Sexting and dirty talk is reserved for someone I have met and have gotten intimate with and am therefore more comfortable with, possibly even someone where I would hope or have discussed an "arrangement" for the foreseeable.. "
Exactly!
I don't sext with people I've never met either.
Yet feel the need to specify that a first meet is an actual meet face to face, not having sex meet.
It's so strange to me that some people automatically assume that just because we're all on fab that sex is given once you meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A social is to say hello or have a coffee
A meet is for sex is what I always understood
But I've never mixed them up "
Same here. In the world of Fab, you would always call it a 'meet' if it is a straight up sex date, where sex is expected.
A social or coffee meet, sex is not implied beforehand. That's not to say it couldn't happen if it went very well, but the intention is to get to known the person like a date. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To me, a meet is literally a face to face meeting with a guy. I hate the term as it sounds impersonal. I would always say to a guy lets just have a coffee or a drink snd see if there's any chemistry. Id never even mention the word meet if im honest as id not want to imply that anything else would happen other than a drink. |
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By *asual777Man
over a year ago
i travel all over |
A meet is a polite way of avoiding using the words shag/fuck I suppose . If it’s a coffee you just say that don’t you ? and a social drink you d just say that too. I think it’s an ok term to use on this despite the the Grammatical inaccuracy. I do think it also says you have respect for people |
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I've never used the word in any conversation prior to meeting anyone. The only time I've ever used it is in a forum discussion about the number or type of meets people have had.
A meet is exactly that, meeting someone regardless of whether it is a social or play meet.
It's pretty obvious to anyone taking the time to read my profile that the first and possibly second or third meet will always be a social.
I've had lots of offers to meet from women who have definitely used the word to mean a play meet and have no interest at all in a social so it's not strictly a male thing either.
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Meet to me is meeting up for a social, a coffee and a chat or in a bar or a restaurant for the same. Hook up meaning getting together for sex will only follow at a later stage if there is chemistry and attraction between the two. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Are we maybe over thinking this a little. Surely there vast majority of ppl here know and understand that meeting sobering in person for the first time is only going to be in a social setting so as to see if there's an attraction or connection. Surely it's only the "dial a ride" ppl who think they are gonna be getting jiggy on the first face to face.
Op I understand your frustration with having to point out the fact that it's just coffee but isnt just part and parcel of this fab world that unfortunately you have to take the good with the bad. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm having flashbacks when I first joined Fab and was too innocent not to clearly explain a coffee meet was just a social. I'll never forget getting coffee and saying no you're not my type. He was like I've come all this way to meet you this is Fab you don't need attraction to fuck what about a blowjob in the carpark. I now clearly spell it out and get coffee in a very public place daytime only. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What's a 'meet'? 
Awk in all seriousness I honestly wouldn't infer anything other than actually just meeting the person! Especially since most of the time it would be in public or for a cuppa; stated beforehand in conversation sure!
I wouldn't have thought the promise of such could be interpreted in different ways. Certainly if you were to consider the context of any and each conversation;
"Would you like to meet for a cuppa?"
"Of course, I'll book the night off and the hotel now!"
Perhaps I'm naive to hope that's not the norm!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm having flashbacks when I first joined Fab and was too innocent not to clearly explain a coffee meet was just a social. I'll never forget getting coffee and saying no you're not my type. He was like I've come all this way to meet you this is Fab you don't need attraction to fuck what about a blowjob in the carpark. I now clearly spell it out and get coffee in a very public place daytime only. "
For this reason also, we would never expect someone to travel far to meet us for the first time. Nobody is that desperate for a coffee! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm having flashbacks when I first joined Fab and was too innocent not to clearly explain a coffee meet was just a social. I'll never forget getting coffee and saying no you're not my type. He was like I've come all this way to meet you this is Fab you don't need attraction to fuck what about a blowjob in the carpark. I now clearly spell it out and get coffee in a very public place daytime only.
For this reason also, we would never expect someone to travel far to meet us for the first time. Nobody is that desperate for a coffee! "
He wasn't even that far 15 minutes away but felt he should have being rewarded for his efforts to drink tea with me for half an hour! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm having flashbacks when I first joined Fab and was too innocent not to clearly explain a coffee meet was just a social. I'll never forget getting coffee and saying no you're not my type. He was like I've come all this way to meet you this is Fab you don't need attraction to fuck what about a blowjob in the carpark. I now clearly spell it out and get coffee in a very public place daytime only.
For this reason also, we would never expect someone to travel far to meet us for the first time. Nobody is that desperate for a coffee!
He wasn't even that far 15 minutes away but felt he should have being rewarded for his efforts to drink tea with me for half an hour! "
15 minutes!! Ffs  |
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
"Are we maybe over thinking this a little. Surely there vast majority of ppl here know and understand that meeting sobering in person for the first time is only going to be in a social setting so as to see if there's an attraction or connection. Surely it's only the "dial a ride" ppl who think they are gonna be getting jiggy on the first face to face.
Op I understand your frustration with having to point out the fact that it's just coffee but isnt just part and parcel of this fab world that unfortunately you have to take the good with the bad. "
Don't know where you have that 'vast majority' from, Sidney University? There's plenty of people on here who go straight for a play meet, myself included. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Meet to us is a social face to face. Coffees or drinks. Would never pressure anyone for more. If we were interested in seeing again for a play meet would express our interest for another time . However if hotel or free house is available
Then go with the flow;) |
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By *issus OP Woman
over a year ago
Belfast |
"I'm having flashbacks when I first joined Fab and was too innocent not to clearly explain a coffee meet was just a social. I'll never forget getting coffee and saying no you're not my type. He was like I've come all this way to meet you this is Fab you don't need attraction to fuck what about a blowjob in the carpark. I now clearly spell it out and get coffee in a very public place daytime only. "
I remember you sharing that ages ago.
I wonder how many women get straight up assaulted just because they didn't know that they had to spell it out for some guys that a coffee meet isn't a bj in a carpark or something of that sort |
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By *asual777Man
over a year ago
i travel all over |
"I'm having flashbacks when I first joined Fab and was too innocent not to clearly explain a coffee meet was just a social. I'll never forget getting coffee and saying no you're not my type. He was like I've come all this way to meet you this is Fab you don't need attraction to fuck what about a blowjob in the carpark. I now clearly spell it out and get coffee in a very public place daytime only.
For this reason also, we would never expect someone to travel far to meet us for the first time. Nobody is that desperate for a coffee! "
If I was getting on like a house on fire with someone online I would travel far for a coffee. Many women and couples have a social meet first rule . If we connect over coffee I could end up having months and years of repeat fun meets I would have missed out on because of the initial reluctance to travel hours and not get my ‘reward’ |
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By *ettaManMan
over a year ago
Kerry and Dublin |
If we haven't previously met in person (or video chatted, in some cases) then a meet is always social, for me. That doesn't mean that we won't end up having sex just that sex is not a given prior to us meeting. |
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